Pud

“Pud” from F***edcompany dot com fame was in town on Thursday night to sign his . Our plan was to smuggle in some Lone Star Beer. But when we stopped at the beer store, on the way to the book store, they didn’t have any cheap, Texas beer. So I opted for a six of Shiner in bottles.

Best damn $7 I’ve spent in a long time.

I’ve been reading his website for a while. I’ve enjoyed. It held news about corporate happenings that affected my income a good six to seven months before the ax fell on me. I like that kind of information. It is rumors, suppositions, a lot of crap, and some good bawdy humor. Maybe a little tasteless humor, too.

Pud walked into the book signing wearing a pair of jeans, and a black T-shirt that said [in bold white letters>, “I’d rather be masturbating.” It just got better and better, too. At first, he was a little nervous. I have one note from that: “GEEK”. The guy is a real geek, a professional geek, a programmer by trade, the kind of person who probably feels more at home with keyboard instead of a pen in his hand. I felt so at home.

He was funny, he recounted a few anecdotes, entertained questions, one funny comment he had was about his site, and how it started, a “dead pool” for dot coms, “I don’t even know how to get to the game on the website anymore,” he explained.

Then, when it was time to sign books, I had my sweet Pisces with the big purse haul out the beer. The Sag girl, Cranky Amy as she calls herself, pulled out a Leatherman to open the beer bottles. “Hey, this is good beer,” Pud noticed. “Dude, remember who smuggled in the beer for you,” I reminded him.

He signed my book, “Thanks for the beer,” or something, then I noticed a discrepancy. Earlier, he’d claimed that he had no creativity. He’s a left-handed book signer [probably a left-handed person, but I won’t jump to conclusions.> Another example of his creative possibilities, I would suggest.

Took some talking, but we convinced him that a few drinks with his adoring fans would be a good idea. Hopped in the car, and I asked his birthday – Pud’s a Scorpio. No wonder he’s obsessed with sex.

“I knew you were one of those weird scientology guys,” he said over his shoulder to me.

Dinner, drinks, more drinks, he was slamming the margaritas and tequila, shoveling chips and stuff in his mouth, and talking a mile a minute. In person, he’s every bit as much fun as we’ve heard. Even more so. Sick and twisted, that’s for sure. But damn funny.

One of the anecdotes he recounted over dinner was about why his book \\didn’t\\ make the __New York Times__ bestseller list. It was a long winded explanation, but what it amounted to was he sold enough books to make the list, but it was stretched out over a period of time, instead of all at once. B&N, according to Pud, failed to pick his book up the first time around, and by the time they got caught up, and ordered the book, it was too late. So instead of spiking on the list, he’ll just have to settle for the money.

He’s a tall guy, relatively fit, and funny. Sarcastic, caustic, all those Scorpio traits, plus, looking at his chart, destined for greatness. Walking into the restaurant with him and his T-shirt, I noticed a few girls rolled their eyes.

I read his site, maybe once or twice a week, these days. The information is good, but a lot of the message boards are messy, profane, and not very profound. But there is some good stuff there. Just like the rest of the net, though, there’s also some crap. But Pud? He rocks.

About the author: Born and raised in a small town in East Texas, Kramer Wetzel spent years honing his craft in a trailer park in South Austin. He hates writing about himself in third person. More at KramerWetzel.com.

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