Derailers and phones

I was on the hike and bike trail, heading home after foraging for office supplies [means I was in the closest superstore across the river>, my mailers and ink jet cartridges wrapped in a shirt and tucked under my arm, and paused on the trail was a father with his child, both on bicycles.

They stopped for a drink of water, “Why is it so hot?” the kid asked.

The father glanced at me, I grinned, and he said to his son, “It’s Texas. It’s August. It’s hot.” [it was actually, July 31, but close enough.>

Just the way it is these days. But the nights are cool, especially after the sun goes down. The Derailers were playing down the street at Threadgill’s. So out into the summer night I went. Well worth it. Met up with a Sagittarius and my sweet Pisces friend. After that news article about the woman in Houston, I figured I should henceforth \\always\\ refer to her as that “sweet Pisces.” Three times she ran over that guy. Then parked on him.

I used the bathroom and my pocket vibrated: the phone. Now that’s a scene I don’t want to repeat. Standing there, taking care of my business while something’s shaking in my pocket. What’s worse, think about it, standing at a urinal, talking into the ear bud, “Hello? Hello?” Sure, I want to be in the bathroom, next to some guy talking to himself.

It’s the little things that are a joy. Whether it’s stopping and grinning while a dad explains that Texas is \\always\\ hot in the summer – especially in August, or enjoying greens with fresh lemon juice, crisp fried okra, fried green tomatoes, and the tunes from the band under a relatively balmy evening, or if it’s being asked if I want to buy a ticket to Willie Nelson. I’m not joking. Some girl in the crowd approached me, asked if I wanted Willie Nelson tickets, and all I could do was laugh at her. Or looking around and being glad that I wasn’t wearing a Hawaiian shirt and cowboy hat, like most of the guys. Nope, I had to be different, got by with a T-shirt with an astrology symbol on – and a Bass Pro hat, “So many lures, so little time….”

“Yeah Kramer, you’d fit right in here,” one of them was telling me, “that’s scary, a place where Kramer would look normal.”

I have a highly refined sense of fashion. Plaid \\always\\ goes with loud prints. The term “tie” as a fashion accessory, means a large hunk of something, usually an artist’s rendering of dead animal head, done in silver, holding together two leather strips – a bolo tie. Footwear is either manly or useful, \\e.g.\\, endangered species cowboy boots or waterproof sport sandals. Still, there’s always something that I fond vaguely disquieting about seeing someone dressed in a Hawaiian shirt, shorts, sandals and a straw cowboy hat. Maybe it’s too common of a “look” around here.

About the author: Born and raised in a small town in East Texas, Kramer Wetzel spent years honing his craft in a trailer park in South Austin. He hates writing about himself in third person. More at KramerWetzel.com.

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