“Has this fellow any wit that told you this?”
Shakespeare’s Much Ado About Nothing [I.ii.25]
Aries: Your weekend should include a heightened sense of pleasure. Not everyone finds true happiness in watching a graphite fishing pole bend under the weight of a “big, ole hawg” of a fish. Now, when I’m casting in the predawn light, the magic moment right before the sun comes up over the lake, I’m not usually fully awake. There’s a familiar twitch to the fishing line, a little pull, a sincere tug provided by a willing sport of a fish. This happens, and suddenly I’m fully awake. Then the fun starts. The only problem with fishing before the dawn really and truly breaks is that the pictures just don’t make it. I’m a lazy fisherman, too, as I don’t really figure it’s worth it to keep the catch in the live bait well, either. “Take nothing but pictures, leave nothing but a pierced lip” is my motto for Bass Fishing. The trick is, that fish I caught, before I could even get a good picture? It really wasn’t that big. Not record, or even a trophy, much less much of a prize, either. None of those things. But that fish, that catch first thing? The heightened sense of pleasure from a task well-done. Goal has been achieved. And it’s also very symbolic. Means it’s going to be a great time to be fishing. So what if you throw the first back? There will be many more, and it’s a good time. Lady luck just sidled up beside you — be nice to her.
Taurus: I try to steer away from certain brand names in my written work as I figure that’s giving too much of an opinion, or it looks like I’ve sold out to some kind of corporate sponsor. While I’m more than willing to sell out, my asking price is pretty high. I ran advertising on my web site for a while. I had fun lining it all up, and getting the right kind of sponsorship. My favorite was running a “debt consolidation” ad right next to an ad for a credit card. I didn’t make more than a few bucks off that, but I enjoyed the clash of banner ads. Either way, I figured I had all the bases covered, one way or another. You have a similar clash going on right now. You’ll get a note in the mail, someone advertising for ‘debt consolidation” and you get a credit card application, “You’ve been pre-approved for tens of thousands of dollars of credit at our special low rate.” Decisions, decisions. What would you like to do? The only problem I have with the credit scenario is that the collection agencies seem to think I’m supposed to pay all that money back. I thought all that shopping was work, and I didn’t know it was my goal to also pay for everything. I thought that’s why they gave me the plastic card, in the first place. Seems that I had some misunderstanding, and I didn’t read the fine print quite right. You can go either way, especially this weekend, but I would tend to look at the “debt consolidation” stuff before I would fill out that application for a new credit card. or consider your bank balance before saying “charge it,” unless, of course, you’re getting a chart from the astrofish.net chart shop. [A little blatant self-promotion never hurt.]
Gemini: I went back and reread an old piece of Science Fiction, “Islands in the Net” by Bruce Sterling. I had been playing around with my web camera, the Kitty Cam, and I was intrigued because I had remembered something out of that book, how it included some of this kind of technology. However, when I finished rereading the book, I understood why it was, at that time, out of print. The author had made certain prognostications, and while some of them had been close, he missed the mark in a few crucial areas. The book felt like it could’ve happened, and it’s not such a long shot to see something like that happening, but then, it’s also really easy to understand how many or the technological premises for the novel were predicated on the technology of the late 1980’s. That’s more than 20 years ago now. Some stuff stands the wear and tear of time. Other stuff, sometimes it doesn’t look so good in retrospect. You’re making decisions that have a long-term, far-reaching consequences. You’re asking, you’re talking, but you’re not listening. The problem is, something like 20 plus years from now [in Gemini time, 20 years can be as short as two weeks], you’re going to wonder what you were thinking. You’re going to ask yourself, “Gemini, why didn’t I listen to the answers to the questions I asked?” I’m trying to save you a little bit of trouble, that’s all. Ask, but then, listen to the answers before you form an opinion.
Cancer: “Hey, Kramer?” “Yes?” “Hey, Kramer.” “Yes?” “Hey Kramer!” “What!” “Hey, Kramer, you think you could write a better scope for Cancer for this week?” Life is wonderful. Weekend gets off to a slow start, but there’s suggestion that there’s something cooking, right around the corner. Something good is coming up. I’m thinking it’s a great time for Cancer-hosted BBQ. Sure, the parties are over, but it’s still a nice time for you guys. The persistent problem, that poses itself at this point, though, is your persistence. That whole, repeating yourself three times to get someone’s attention thing, give it a rest. It was cute — once. It’s not cute anymore. You’ve got a little undue influence wherein you feel like no one is paying attention to you, or, at least, not the person to whom you are addressing yourself. We are paying attention, you just don’t realize it. Cut down on the repetitions, even though you feel like they are necessary. Your point is getting across, you just don’t need to hammer us with it this week. Yes, you are right. We just may be a little slow to admit that Cancer is number one. Still.
Leo: A friend of mine’s wife just had a kid. Matter of fact, it was one of my fishing buddies, a fellow fishing guide. Means that the new baby is a Leo. That’s happiness. He was in the delivery room, being the proud parent and all, and before they had chance to weigh the baby, he suggested that he could do that himself, just let him grab the newborn by the lower lip, and he would be able to guess its weight just fine, probably more accurate than most scales. THis comment was met with universal discord. I do believe at least one nurse was shocked. Now, between you and me, and that newborn Leo, we all know my buddy was joking. He’s going to be a tender father, and that little girl will be learning how to fish just as soon as her little paws can be wrapped around a fishing pole. Now, Mr. Mars is in Leo, and he’s heating things up. One of your jokes might not be understood. I thought it was funny, you thought it was hilarious, but not everyone finds your humor so amusing. Blame me for the bad jokes, blame Mars for the bad timing, and move on. You will be able to laugh about this later. [Between your Leo self and myself, I did think it was hilarious.]
Virgo: I looked some of the stuff going on in your chart, I mean, I actually got that weighty tome done from the shelf and accessed certain data about the positions of the planets. Sometimes, nothing is better than a little research. Problem being, after looking up stuff about Virgo’s chart for right now, I got a little sidetracked, and begin looking at some of the stuff going on in my own chart. Then I got to thinking about that one Virgo I know, and from there, everything went into a tailspin as I forgot what I was looking for. The nice point about using a book, instead of the web, for research is that I can always go back to the exact page I was on. I can always find what it was I needed. There are a couple of influences I’d be wary of, if I were more Virgo-like. One is that sidetracked thing. You know, you start looking for one thing, and suddenly, you’re off on a merry chase that has nothing to do with what you were doing in the first place. The other aspect has to do with a plethora of planets stacked up in Leo. That’s the sign i front of you. [Not better than you, just in a position ahead of you.] It means that you’re going to be a little frustrated with self-serving idiots. Means there’s one or two people in the next few days who are bound and determined to undermine your normally optimistic outlook. My suggestion? Treat them with kindness. Kills their joy every time, and you can do it so sweetly, just like this, “Here, let me do that for you.”
Libra: Venus is headed for the direct middle of Libra. She ain’t there yet, but that doesn’t matter too much. Her benevolent ways are good. There’s a caution, though, that goes with Ms. Venus: overindulgence. I had my feet propped up on the outboard, it was cranked up out of the water, and I was idly sitting in the back seat of the boat, just sort of dangling a lure in the water, not trying to play the line very much and not paying much attention. I got what I thought was a weed, complained a little, and then reeled in the biggest fish of the day. Bubba was in the front of the boat, fishing hard, concentrating, and running the trolling motor. See how this works? I was doing something, I mean, I had a line in the water. With Venus, just show up. Drop that hook in the water. Do something. Doesn’t take much, but you have to make a minimum of effort. Remember, even the smallest amount of work can get big results. But you have to at least drop a line in the water.
Scorpio: Whenever possible, I buy “organic produce” at the farmer’s market. I feel better about the food, and I feel better putting my hard-earned cash into the hands of someone who actually grew the stuff. I picked up a bunch of tomatoes the other day. I was preparing a sandwich with the tomatoes, slicing them up, and of course, helping myself to the “end cut” while I was working. SUmmer days, a slice of tomato just does a the soul right, and I’m sure your Scorpio self will agree. The first couple of tomatoes were so good, the slices never made it onto the sandwich. I got into that third tomato, helped myself to a slice and kept going. Remember this is organic produce, no insecticides, right? I looked down at my handiwork, and there was a worm in the middle of that third one. Big guy. Had eaten himself quite the home in there. The deal is that the tomato looked perfect on the outside — it wasn’t until I got into it that I found the problem. To make this a little more squeamish, I had already eaten at least one slice from that particular piece of Texas organic produce [Blanco County]. What are you going to do? Can’t very well complain to the farmer, it’s one of those deals, you know? It’s hazard. And although the slice I had was mighty fine, the rest of the tomato was less than desirable. Now, you can get all worked up about this, or you can do like I did: slide the offending fruit and worm into the compost pit, realize this is an occasional hazard, and there’s not much else you can do about it. The next one was fine, so there wasn’t much of a problem. The idea of going back, pitching a fit over one tomato wasn’t worth the effort. Think about it. Some things aren’t really worth screaming about.
Sagittarius: There’s this extra, added sense that you’re really in a good place. You’re Sagittarius, a born survivor. We usually wind up smelling like roses, no matter what we fall into. Or rose fertilizer, it’s one of the two. Should you step into, fall into, or otherwise get stuck with some of that “organic mulch compound” on the sole of your boot right now, don’t fret about it. It’s not worth the effort. The worry energy is too much to be bothered by. Pick yourself up, and change your location. It’s really that simple. When the fish are not cooperating in one portion of the lake, then there’s usually another tributary where the fish are ever so much more cooperative. Take yourself over there. Adjust for climactic conditions as need be. Be fluid, easy to get along with. Realize that a schedule is a mutable thing, subject to whims and forces beyond your control. I always like this sort of adventure as you wind up with some good stories to tell. Now, the good tales of “derring-do” need to wait. And explaining why you’ve got an aroma of compost, you can wait on explaining that one, too. Go easy on the telling of tall tales. I’ve found that I stick to the rigorous truth about what I catch during times like this. Everyone just assumes that I’m misrepresenting the truth, trying to be humble. Stick to the straight facts, though. You’ll do better than expected.
Capricorn: I was at an outdoor concert venue the other evening. From Austin, Houston’s a relatively short drive, so there I was, in a strange town, listening to strange music, and I was about to get eaten alive by the largest mosquitoes I’ve ever seen. There’s just something about the humid atmosphere, the tall trees, everything, and the bugs. Turns out kindly soul offered me a quick squirt from her handy bug spray can. Might not seem like a big deal, but a quick gesture like that was amazing in what it did. The price of that quick squirt of insect repellent was negligible. Now, the smell of the bug spray did conflict with the patchouli I was wearing, but instead of wrinkling her fine Capricorn nose in disgust, she just made a comment about how the two were, “Er, complimentary.” You’ve got a chance to make someone’s day — or night — even better. You get a chance to offer up some of that insect repellent you carry, and while it might not be the best smelling stuff in the world, it gets the job done. And when you’re busy helping someone out, you might be surprised at what transpires, as a result of your helping hand act. One little act of kindness this weekend sort of ripples outwards in the fishing pond of life.
Aquarius: The day before the weekend starts out really rough. You’re probably getting some bad news. Maybe not bad news, but it’s not like you’re hearing what you want to hear. Listen carefully, though, as there is a sliver of hope contained within that message. I tend to regard this the same way as other folks do, and I hand out that pat line, “One door doesn’t shut without there being window opened someplace else.” Right. When someone handed that line to me, the first thing I did was look around for my shotgun. I was determined to show that one person what I thought about their “terribly happy” advice. And, if need be, I was going to empty the magazine of that scatter gun to blow open the closed door, shatter the windows, and maybe take out the person handing me sappy advice. Sounds really tempting, now doesn’t it? But before you adopt such a hot-tempered approach, and before you grab your shotgun, and before you set out to teach anyone a lesson about handing out such cliché advice, stop. First of all, violence is useless — other than you feel better for a few minutes. Then there’s the neighbors, and they call the sheriff if that Aquarius scatter gun goes off more than once. Don’t take a bad situation, make it a hundred times worse, and then have to explain to certain authority figures why you did what you did. I’m with you on your actions being justified. I understand. But not every high sheriff is going to agree. Give this one a chance to sort itself out before you act in haste.
Pisces: Mercury is in the sign opposite you. I always figure this is like hitting the “play” button on some sort of musical recording device. The problem with the idea that Mercury is opposing your sign is that not everyone shares your tastes in music. Nothing was worse for me, as I later found out, when I saddled up for a long ride in the truck out to West Texas, and I had with me a stack of CD’s I burned myself. I thought it was pretty cool music, old rock and roll, a little punk, some punk country, and as a special finish, a nice ballad done heavy metal style. Great driving music. Or so I thought. Turns out, I was traveling with a diehard C&W fan. Now, I’m usually very adaptable. My taste in music runs a pretty wide gambit from obscure, little-known singer-songwriters to variations on classical, and just about everything in between. But I was ill-prepared for my traveling partner’s tastes — that time. Fortunately, she had enough music to keep us all happy for the duration, although, there’s this one Robert Earl Keen CD I don’t think I ever want to hear again. What I’ve done, as a result of that ill-fated trip, is to check ahead of time to ascertain just what music would be best. Likewise, a little research before you pick your own music might be a good idea. It’s that “play” button thing. Make sure you know what you’re talking about, make sure you’re on the same wavelength, musically speaking, before you just assume that you know the right stuff to play.
