For the Week of 10/3-9/2002

“Refrain to-night,
And that shall lend a kind of easiness
To the next abstinence, the next more easy;
For use almost can change the stamp of nature.”

Shakespeare’s Hamlet [Act III, scene iv]

    {October 8 is the Feast Day of St. Thais, the patroness of “fallen women”} Which is, more or less, just in time for a trip to the Texas Gulf Coast. Catch me in Corpus Christi this weekend, if you want my angle your chart.

Aries: Mr. Sun is in the sign on the opposite side of the astrology wheel from Aries. This isn’t always bad, but it does indicate that there’s a choice you have to make. I keep a ready set of excuses all spooled up, just in case. I’ve been known to greet folks in Shady Acres with, “Hi. I was out of town at the time.” There’s more than a grain or two in the truth that I was out of town. Never hurts to get those denials in as soon as possible. The biggest problem is work, and if you’re not as polished with your excuses like I am, you might get caught a little short. “A little short?” As in, there’s too much work, and not enough of you to go around. Add a little Mercury mayhem to the mix, and you get the picture, a little more clearly, I hope. While the little Mercurial influence is lessening, you can bet there’s still going to be one or two encounters that don’t go as smoothly as you would like. That’s why I’m suggesting you be prepared. This won’t have an effect on me, of course, despite my Aries sensibilities, see: I really was out of town when all that stuff happened at the office. Polish up the way deliver your message.

Taurus: Shakespeare’s original stage set up was probably a proscenium arrangement. Means that part of the stage stuck out into the audience. As such, most of the big speeches and proclamations have to be repeated three times, the best example is the trite, “Friends, Romans, Countrymen [and so on].” That was to address all three sides of the stage. Also means all the good stuff in the plays gets repeated thrice in order to have maximum impact. Mercury’s little self has been backwards for a while, and supposedly, everything is better now. However, I still feel like you should pretend you’re on just such a stage. In fact, you’re going to feel like you’re surrounded by “groundlings” [folks who didn’t pay too much to see the show]. There will be some grumbling, maybe the equivalent of hot dog and beer vendor pushing his wares with the effect being one where you have to shout over his noise in order for your message to be heard. You’ve got all this to overcome, what with Mercury and Mars playing a game not too far from where you’re at. There’s also a little push from Jupiter, in Leo, and that’s why the idea of a proclamation, delivered three times over, like a Shakespeare speech, is such a good idea. You can get your audience to lend an ear, but it’s going to take some extra effort to get your message across — like doing it three times.

Gemini: It’s not like this has been an entirely pleasant “Mercury is going backwards” time. To compound this situation, Mercury spends a fair amount of the next couple of days making a gnarly little astrological angle to old Mr. Saturn. Taskmaster meets Errant Messenger. This can be good, but you’re starting to fret about it already, I can see that. Realize that you’re going to be called upon to go over some previously covered material. Realize, too, that your nominally sweet Gemini disposition will be sorely put out by this calling. There are no easy answers, but a certain willingness to deal with other peoples’ foibles and lack of proper attention will help. I’ve got this one Gemini client, she calls at the most inopportune times, for a quick consultation. If I try to do anything else while talking to her, other than examine her chart, or the chart in question, she gets upset with me. Never mind, in the background, I can hear her clicking away, surfing long the web, reading news, the TV turned to a soap opera, the radio playing music, and the rustle of paper. If I don’t give her 100% of my attention, I don’t get paid as much. With the Saturn and Mercury tangents, the roles are reversed. You need to give the situation at hand 100% of your attention. Step away from the computer, turn off the TV, put that magazine down. I know this is old material for you, but the people you’re dealing with need all your copious attention.

Cancer: The world is divided into three types of people, those who can count and those who can’t. Due to the recent conflagration involving two planets, Mercury, Mars and Saturn, your own ability to communicate has been hampered. It also affects your thinking, to a certain degree. I’m not about to suggest that you’re wrong, or that you can’t count correctly. However, before you start attacking me for my logic or math skills, think about it. Maybe, take it one step further, and put that idea down on paper. Look at the argument before you start making a point. There’s a big difference [to some non-Cancer people, at least, it’s a big difference] between being correct in the spirit of the matter and being correct in the letter of the law. That previously alluded to conflagration between planets, plus another spurious influence will have some affect on the situations developing in your Cancerian life. Are you right in the spirit of the matter? Unequivocally yes. However, in the factual interpretation of the rules, the way things stack up, there might be a loophole or two that you’ve overlooked. Might be a problem or two. The sense is that your gut feeling is absolutely correct. But sometimes, it just doesn’t hurt to go back and take a quick run-through of the facts before you start stating your case. I believe you, believe in you, but that doesn’t make you infallible.

Leo: This coming weekend still has a few of the usual bumps and grinds left over from Mr. Mercury doing his backwards spin. Next week, though, that’s a completely different story. That looks good, if not great. The communication problems clear up. You feel better. But until next week gets here, you’ve got a few things to watch out for. A trailer’s living room, such as it is, won’t allow a lot of space for furniture. While shopping one day, I happened across the perfect coffee table for my needs, it has an enclosed glass top, and underneath the glass, I can display my copious collection of arcane tarot decks. Makes for vivid, colorful, and fetching centerpiece for the trailer’s living room. Thee only problem is that this coffee table is just a little large for such a small space. I figure I must have all of about 199 Square Feet of living space in this tiny abode. The bumps and grinds of Mercury, previously alluded to? It’s like me trying to navigate my tiny living room before I’ve had enough coffee — that really cool coffee table gets in the way from time to time. So even as Mr. Mercury corrects his errant path, you’ll find that your shins have a certain knack for finding sharp corners of coffee tables. The solution? Move a little slower, and don’t get too excited now that the Mercury mess is over with.

Virgo: Mars is an energy driven planet. Or driving planet. The recent, excruciating problems incurred at the hands of Master Mercury doing a little tailspin in your sign is going to be over with soon enough. Mars, however, is still around for another ten days or so. Mars will take a situation that was purely a mental exercise and turn it into a deal that’s going to require physical action. In Texas, it’s okay to forget your fishing license as long as you have your driver’s license as the two are tied together by numbers in some computer some place [I would guess that the information resides in some computer closet in a building near my residence, but I’m not sure — never can tell with government offices in Austin]. Why worry about a fishing license and your driver’s license? Both are little pieces of paper and plastic that are required on certain occasions — particular authority figures desire these little items at times that might not be as convenient for you as it might be for them. And failing to be able to produce such documentation at the right time can also be a problem. Now we’re back to Mars, Mercury and the rest of that… see Saturn is the authority figure. Mercury can make you forget your fishing license this weekend. If you’re like me, and you normally travel with your other legal identification, this isn’t too much of a problem. But Mercury can also make you forget your regular ID. Now the fun begins. You can easily where this is going, can’t you? As long as the planets stack up like this, it never hurts to be extra Virgo prepared for all possible conflicts with uniformed officials.

Libra: I’ve got this strange, inner voice that drives me. In order to get ready for a phone reading, I have to be showered, all cleaned up. I can’t just swing into action without some preparation. Now, with a phone consultation, what I look like really doesn’t matter, but if I’m not all cleaned up like I was doing it in person, I just don’t feel right. You’re like me, about now, got to make sure all the right pieces are in all the right places before you can move forward. Last week, maybe it was the week before [never can tell when Mercury is backwards], I got ready for a phone reading, dashed home, ran throw the trailer’s shower, slapped on the headset, and waited for the phone to ring. I feel asleep on the couch, phone in hand, headset in place. Got a little nap in, and didn’t miss my call [which came an hour late]. Mars is in the sign in front of you, Mercury is just beginning not to be retrograde, and you need to be ready for some big event. Don’t be too surprised, though, if there’s an hour-long delay. The real trick is to sound alert when you answer the phone from that foggy world of nap-land.

Scorpio: Who cares what Mercury is up to? Or what Mercury is not up to, as the case might be? Doesn’t much matter to the good Scorpio’s I know. Ya’ll are doing just fine, thanks be to a completely different influence, Miss Venus. She’s being unnaturally kind to you right now. My suggestion? Enjoy the good things. Folks seem a little tense as of late. I know you’ve noticed that, in other people, it’s as if someone pulled a funny trick with sugar and salt, you know the old game, put salt in the sugar shaker, put sugar in the salt shaker? Not that I would ever stoop so low as to pull a fast one like that, or, for that matter, would you ever try such a trick. But it’s an example of the kind trick that could get played out. Either by you or on you. That’s the problem, which one are you? Trickster or fall guy? Straight man or funny man? Then you also have to be careful, too, as there are some times when a cute trick like swapping the two items backfires. You could walk off and forget about the little stunt and then add a heaping spoon full of salt to your lunch time libation — ice tea is de rigor and the results of the prank are De Profundis. Laugh about it, even if you’re the butt of your own joke. You’ll find Venus lubricates your laughter mechanism.

Sagittarius: Rhythm is important. There’s a cadence that develops, listening to the keystrokes on the keyboard, the sound of a laser printer with a manuscript spooled up and spitting out pages. In the golden years of computers, it was the noise of the dot matrix printer as it pounded away on the spool-fed pages. To take it one step further back, it’s like the sound of typewriter, as the keys hit the page. It’s the noise of work, it’s the sound of pen’s nib scratching a message on a piece of parchment. There’s a point where all this starts to come together, as well, a time when the noises develop a set pattern, and you’re toiling away, just about as happy as can be. For a trivia question, find me the correct source for this quote, “There is no lighter burden, nor more agreeable, than a pen.” [Correct winners can earn a free “FGS Planet Profile” chart report delivered via e-mail. Send your correct entries to the judge at kittycat [at], and she’ll get back to you.] The reason for the joy in the rhythm of work is that your timely cadence is about to cut short. Just when you’re back into the swing of things, something is going to happen that’ll cut you off. Interruptions, disagreements, spurious phone messages, the personal assistant breaking in with something that seems really important at the moment, that sort of thing gets in the way of your normal, orderly flow. You’ve got two choices, from the way I see it: you can complain, and thereby waste even more time, or you can happily accommodate that untimely interruption to your orderly flow. If you tackle the problematic disruptions with relative grace, though, you’ll find that it’s a lot easier to get back into that original cadence you were enjoying. Complaints about the problems don’t serve any purpose. “Now, where was I?”

Capricorn: Sometimes, it really doesn’t matter how prepared you are. One weekend, I was set to fish both Saturday and Sunday, so I got to bed early Friday night. Saturday morning, I was up before the alarm clock and the sun, dressed, packed, ready to go. My buddy barely had a chance to pull into the parking lot and I was already bounding out the door, cup of coffee in hand, ready to hit the trail, as it were. Fished our little hearts out all day. Caught nothing to speak of [branches, water weeds and bottom trash don’t count]. Now, the weekend before that, I had barely got three hours sleep before going fishing. I looked bad. I smelled bad [or good, depending on the point of reference]. To suggest I wasn’t in good shape to be fishing, or doing anything useful would be an understatement. But we caught fish. Lots of them. I think I’ve got the pictures up on the web site someplace. Mars “this,” and Mercury “that,” and Saturn does other things, and none of this really matters, not to you. Doesn’t matter how much you prepare, sometimes you’re at your Capricorn best when you’re not prepared. Me? All that going to bed early stuff didn’t do anything to improve my fishing skill set. Maybe a little worry and little more play is in order for both of us.

Aquarius: pretty quick like, you’re going to run into one of them “walls” we all encounter from time to time. It looks like it’s made out of bricks, it’s a lot taller than you, and this particular obstacle seems to stretch from one end of the horizon to other. It’s a formidable obstacle. It’s a tough call. There are a lot of things you could do. You can beat your head against the bricks, you can bemoan your sorry fate, you can write a letter to your governmental representative [assuming you live in a democratic country that allows such things], or, you can try my advice. Instead of taking this brick wall as a challenge that you have to go through, instead of banging into it, and potentially hurting yourself, instead of trying to go through the wall, when that obstacle lands firmly in your way, turn to the left or the right. I know it seems like this won’t do any good, but try it. Instead of forcing an issue that clearly doesn’t want to be forced, why not try working around it? There’s clue from a particular angle in your chart. It suggests that you can work around the problem rather than vainly trying to work through it. Weeks like this, the work around is a better idea.

Pisces: No sooner did I set up an e-mail address for my cat, than the cat Herself decided to stop posing for the camera. You have similar situation developing in your own life. No sooner do you take one step to accommodate a certain person, when, all of a sudden like, that person quits being available. You make your Pisces self available at a certain time, and that other person has something else scheduled. Doesn’t matter how hard you try, it’s like you keep missing each other. To make this bad problem worse, you’ve never looked better. There really are no good excuses. I can spin a yarn about this planet that’s doing something to you, but I’m pretty sure you’re really not interested in that. Pause for a minute [I should make a joke here, “paws” for a minute], and think about this communication deal. Mercury is the culprit, along with some other influences, and there’s no reason to let this get in your way. Set the time aside, like you planned, but it never hurts to have contingency plan to help accommodate other events. A little bit of planning for other eventualities would help a lot. And the cat? She still gets her e-mail, she just doesn’t read it as often.

About the author: Born and raised in a small town in East Texas, Kramer Wetzel spent years honing his craft in trailer park in South Austin. He hates writing about himself in third person. More at

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