Target acquisition

My sweet Pisces friend had to blow off a little steam, and the idea of live bait for dinner was rather appealing, so I fetched up some espresso – served by a Virgo – on the way home to get me in the right frame of mind for sushi. Interesting how a Pisces finds sushi as a comfort food.

After listening to many complaints about bosses, especially bosses who are shifting targets, I mentioned that I was looking for a certain cell phone accessory. It was late, that poor [sweet> Pisces was tired, and the only place open was Target.

We wandered amongst the aisles of stuff, looked over the cell phone accessories, never found what I was looking for, but I did get accosted by an employee, red -shirt and all.

Not sure of the significance of the red shirt? Remember Star Trek, the first generation? Two or three seasons in prime time, back in the late 1960’s? Then forever more in reruns? The ensigns, in the landing party, the guys wearing the red shirts always got shot, abducted, killed off, or whatever the plot called for, usually in the first two or three scenes, in some hideously, campy, “distant alien planet.” Red shirt? Feel sorry for them. And that one Target representative? I’m sure a completed application meant a commission or something.

So I filled out the application, in the cell phone accessories, then me and the Pisces wandered around some more. Cat litter, 35 pounds, on sale, $9.99. Good enough deal. The guy in the red shirt caught up with us, “You’ve been approved, here, you get an additional ten percent off your purchase tonight.”

The Pisces clucked about credit ratings, and I loaded up on cat litter because, basically, well, my cat is full of a need for cat litter.

At the check out counter, I was expecting to pay for my purchase with a check card, but the checkout girl said I needed to charge it on my new account to get the discount.

“Okay, sure. This is like, free then, huh?”

She smiled, the Pisces said to check out the terms and conditions.

Which I did.

The document I signed?

The terms and conditions? The credit agreement? All the fine print?

It was all in Spanish.

Not one word in my native tongue. Or English, either.

About the author: Born and raised in a small town in East Texas, Kramer Wetzel spent years honing his craft in a trailer park in South Austin. He hates writing about himself in third person. More at KramerWetzel.com.

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