For the Week of 12/26/2002-1/1/2003

“Dream on, dream on.”
Shakespeare’s Richard III [V.iii.172]

Richard III [1452-85] was the last Yorkist king of England. This scope also starts out on Boxing Day, according to English Tradition.

Aries: I was really hungry the other afternoon. I stopped by a taco stand in East Austin, middle of the afternoon, and had them fetch me up a heaping plate of “migas.” Migas are nothing more than eggs, tortilla chips, onions, peppers and tomatoes, all scrambled together. Done correctly, it’s a tasty meal, and as near as I can determine, just sort of a local delicacy. However, with the proper amount of hot sauce loaded on top, the meal itself is wonderful. The problem being, I was rather hungry by the time I got around to eating breakfast, middle of the afternoon and all, and I slammed that food down. Just about as fast as I could roll up the concoction in a flour tortilla, I would be stuffing it in my mouth. With fiery food, gulping is not always the best way to eat. It can create digestive problems. This coming weekend, and on into the new year, you are tempted to slam something down. Could be hot food. Could be a libation or two. Could be any number of things that you get in hurry about. Slow it down. That stuff tastes so much better — and your digestive systems likes you more — if you just slow down some. Stop and enjoy the unique flavor of the fresh tomato, the delicate lacing of cilantro, the way the onion seems to have a slight burn to it. You’ve got any number of opportunities to enjoy stuff, if you’ll just slow it down.

Taurus: New Year’s Eve is usually a good time to have an annual binge of some kind. I’m not one to suggest that this behavior is really healthy, or, for that matter, recommend it myself. That being said, it is a good time, after the Xmas holiday, and as we all march forward into the new year, it’s not just a good time, but a great time to have one of those Taurus benders. Can be drinking, or you can go for other stuff as well. I haven’t checked lately, but there used to be a water skiing club in West Texas — every New Year’s day, rain, shine or ice, they’d get up and go skiing. Texas weather is pretty unpredictable, and it’s likely to be sunny and seventy, or might be frozen precipitation. THe weather doesn’t matter to these guys in West Texas, and it shouldn’t matter to you. There’s some kind of excess that you want, I might even suggest that you need, and this excess is called for. You can always do like I do, and use the excuse of the New Year’s celebration as a reason for your excess.

Gemini: It’s hard to get excited about much of anything the day after Xmas. I can’t speak for other Gemini folks, but the ones I’ve encountered all have the same “blah” reaction at this point. One side the Gemini facet is experiencing a mild depression from the “after holiday letdown” whereas the other side of the selfsame Gemini collection of facets is making plans for the new year. What’s it going to be? Big party? Head out of town for a few days? Escape to the wilds of some far-flung, exotic destination? All of that sounds good, but the problem being is that your motivation is little less than what it could be. The “day-after” feeling. Worse yet, it’s like a cloud, not really a big black thundercloud, but like one of those drizzle clouds, sort of floating past. It’s just that this cloud keeps hanging around and around for a few days. By the day after the day after, you’re as done with this “mild depression” as you can be, but it sort of hangs on and on. Look: next year is going to be most excellent. Might not start out the way you want it to, but before the year is half done [three months in Gemini time], it all gets a lot better. Get out of the doldrums and star making new plans.

Cancer: Enjoy this party time while you can. There’s a good deal of work related stuff fixing to be dumped on your curvaceous Cancer cranium carapace. Like the good guide that I am, I’m letting you know about this ahead of time. Get ready to work. The new year triggers a new start to some aspect of your life. I tend to look at this as a career opportunity. Now, in the few days between Xmas and New Year’s, take a few minutes to sort out the stuff that you’re going to need. Work references. Samples of old columns. Your portfolio of past artistic endeavors, old publications, previous employers who have nothing but good words about what you did. Sounds like a lot of trouble, but doing so now, getting this out of the way while you can, that’s going to pay off big for you in the long run. All I’m suggesting is that you tend to some of the “end of the year” bookkeeping, record keeping, paper trail management stuff now. You’re going to be asked, as early as next week, for a list of references. Won’t it be nice to say, “Sure, my astrologer told me to have that ready, let me shoot it right on over to you.”

Leo: It wasn’t so long ago, I was at a typical Austin Xmas party. Friend of mine was hosting it in his new house. Or it was a house that was new to him. In the winter months in Texas, there are still a few warm evenings and most of the party was either on the front step or in the carport. It was different kind of party though, as half the folks were well-employed whereas the other half were out-of-work high-tech folks. Maybe those numbers are off a little, some of the characters were in other fields, and a few real-time students were there. “Yeah, I’ve got exams next week…” one Leo was exclaiming. Now, those exams are past, the holiday is over, but the way to deal with some of that real world pressure, is along the same idea: drink more beer. I can’t recommend beer a viable substitute for either study or hard work, but as long as Mars and Venus as in position that’s not exactly comfortable for you, why not deal with the pressure in such a time-honored traditional route? Play. Whatever excess you enjoy the most, go ahead and indulge that. The problems aren’t going to go away, but you can avoid them for a little while. Makes for a much better new Year celebration.

Virgo: I was traveling north on Guadeloupe, in Austin. It was a cold, December night, and the Texas Chili Parlor’s sign came into view. Now, the girl with me was a vegetarian. But at her behest, and because a parking spot was right in front of the Chili Parlor’s door, we pulled on in. I like the place — they use real steak and good cuts of meat in the chili. It’s not lightweight food, but the spices are right, and it’s an ideal spot on a cold night in the middle of the winter. A bowl of chili and a cup of coffee is just about right to warm things up. Unless you’re with a vegetarian. Being Austin and bowing to local fashion, they do offer vegetarian chili. But somehow, it’s not the same. Now, my friend ordered a “Vegetarian Frito Pie.” What she got was a watery bowl of beans, masquerading as chili. Sent it back. Got a real Frito Pie [Chili Parlor does them best.] But it had meat in it. Sent that back. What came out, the third time around, was correct, a vegetarian chili Frito pie. Delicious, hot, redolent with spices that clear the sinuses and bring color to the pale winter cheeks. Okay, so it’s hot and it burns. Took three tries to get the food order right. Me? I had a strip of steak and an enchilada covered with their signature chili. Mine was right the first time, the Virgo took three tries to get hers done right. It finally worked, but patience, and a certain amount of slowly explaining what she did and didn’t want, was required. Same thing for you. Might take more than one try to get it right, but stick to your original order — you will be satisfied.

Libra: I dragged a friend of mine from North Austin, into a typical, rather conservative place in South Austin, more a 24-hour diner than a real restaurant. One patron was wearing a sheer negligee top with jeans, and through the translucent material, a tattoo of angel wings was clearly visible. The hostess had all her hair shaved off except for two little tufts in front, and those were dyed red, and sculpted up into a twin spikes — looked like horns. The waiter had blue hair. None of this attire really caught my attention, I mean, this is normal in my neighborhood. But my poor friend from a conservative side of town seemed to be in utter awe. Look: this is normal for me. The tats, the hair color, the style of dress that defies any classification. It’s all matter of individual expression. You understand that, on a purely Libra intellectual level. You “get it” — upstairs. But it’s party time, and you might get caught with your brain defenses down, and if that happens, which it will, try not to gape too much at the local sights. This is normal for us.

Scorpio: My biggest fear should be your biggest fear, as well. Imagine a time when you were single, and you had two dates show up at the same time. When that happens, there’s not much you can do, it’s bad from the start. To compound this scenario, now there are two females mad at me, instead of just one, and that means I stand zero chance of any kind of social interaction with the opposite sex for quite some time. Word gets around, you know. Even my extensive stock of charm couldn’t extract me from that predicament. What this means to you is that you’re faced with something similar — if not exactly the same situation. Means you have to be extra careful about plans you make for the immediate future. Be careful! You have an almost limitless supply of [Scorpio grade] charm. But even as wonderful as you are with the charm, sometimes, there is limit to what you can extract yourself from. Batting your eyes, laying it on thick, and using sweet nothings is good — just don’t bet on it to get you out trouble of your own making.

Sagittarius: Happy New Year! It’s going to be a good one! Promise! Got to get better, right? Not like the last one was so, either, just there’s always room for improvement. Now, about the Venus and Mars thing in Scorpio, things are just bit strange these days. Weird, you know? Not necessarily bad, just off a little. Can’t quite place the source of trouble, can’t quite place the blame. It’s not like it’s your fault, but then, it might be. See what I mean about the conundrum of this? See how it’s trouble? Some of this is bound to get you a little worked up, and then you’re going to get mad. That’s a problem, because there’s not really an effective route for expressing this frustration. No good Sagittarius wants to go into the New Year underneath such a cloud, but I can’t do a lot about the position of Mars and Venus — slinking in that sign in front of us. What are you going to do? Get mad? Don’t get even, get odder.

Capricorn: Happy birthday, dear Capricorn. You know who you are. In fact, one of my favorite Capricorn musicians [and accomplished story teller], his birthday is already done with. However, I’m foreseeing a good deal of nice things starting to unfold over the next few days. The real problem with a Capricorn birthday, especially in the beginning of Capricorn, like right now, is that every year, you get that “dual-purpose” gift. It’s like a fishing vest I was once given: bright orange on one side, camouflage on the other. Dual-purpose, huh? “Yeah, see,” Bubba explained, “the orange side is for your birthday and the camouflage is for Xmas….” Nice try. Still, there’s an odd influence that is really quite good. Take that vest [or whatever double gift item you wind up with] and consider what you’ve got. It’s the thought that counts. Besides, that Mars and Venus lineup is promising some good things, near future and on down the line, too. It’s matter of not letting other folks get in your way. You’re going to hear one or two of your friends loudly complaining about this, that, or the other. Listen attentively. Act concerned, contrite, and nod appreciatively. In my line of work, I’ve found that it’s really helpful to add a knowing, “Oh, yes…” from time to time. But don’t let other folks — with their cares, concerns and laments — get you down. Yours is supposed to be good.

Aquarius: I got stuck trying to explain this, it’s a philosophical point of view, and my fishing metaphor seemed best…. Went fishing the other day. It was cold as blazes on the lake before dawn. “It’s okay, at least it’s a wet cold,” I said through chattering teeth, sipping coffee from a styrofoam cup. Coffee that was cold and felt more like coffee ice cream rather than “warm, elixir of the morning dew.” And we didn’t catch a single fish. I managed to snag a lot water weeds, and there’s always a the odd branch a misdirected cast gets. But none of these things that got caught are actually “fish,” the purported target for the day. However, riding over to the lake in the, heading into the predawn glow, the crisp winter air, a slight mist coming up from the lake’s surface, all of these are good points. Makes for an enjoyable experience. And the morning after? One cold morning on the lake sure makes me appreciate the fat cat’s warm, fuzzy body. So maybe you don’t get exactly what it is that you had your Aquarius sights set on. Maybe the things don’t get delivered just the way you want them delivered to you. Maybe there’s a little trouble in the Aquarius world, on a day-to-day basis. If you take enough time to reflect back, you’re going to find that there’s good point of view that sheds some light on this whole mess. It’s not bad at all. A little exasperating experience one day really makes you appreciate the way things are, on the next day.

Pisces: Finally! Kramer’s going to give you an excellent prognostication for the very near future, possibly extending into the rest of the coming year. It’s just plain good. There’s at least one tradition that suggests whatever you do New Year’s Day sets the tone for the rest of the year, and if that’s true, then you got a lot of romantic stuff headed your way. Or something that’s directly related to it. Got that? Simple, straightforward. No hidden message, no wry comment. Start working towards that new goal, setting up the right atmosphere, you want everything to be perfect for New Year’s Day, at the end of this scope. [The scope of the scope, so to speak.] Once you have all the cards dealt, you get to play them any way you want. It’s my bet that you’re going to have an exciting, fun-filled few days, which then leads to an exciting and fun-filled year. All starts when you do a little homework for the next few days. Gather up your pieces and get ready to play them correctly.

About the author: Born and raised in a small town in East Texas, Kramer Wetzel spent years honing his craft in a trailer park in South Austin. He hates writing about himself in third person. More at

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