Fishing Guide to the Stars
by Kramer Wetzel
For the Week Starting: 2/20-26/2003
“Violent fires soon burn out themselves. Small showers last long, but sudden storms are short.”
Shakespeare’s Richard II [II.ii.34]
What could be more perfect? Sun in Pisces and Corpus Christi, Texas: last weekend.
Pisces: For the longest time, I’ve used a little teakettle to heat up water for the morning coffee. It’s a ritual. Cat food and coffee. The two just go hand in hand, I suppose. Now, that teakettle I use for boiling water, it virtually lives on the stove top [yes, trailers come equipped with dainty little kitchenette places, complete with a stove.] Some mornings, I put the kettle on a low heat, and wander off to the computer, almost forgetting that there’s some water getting ready to boil. With the music turned up loud, I don’t hear its faint rumbling, indicating that water is about to turn to steam. That kettle finally hits “full steam” and it sounds like it’s about to explode. The deal is, you set something up a while back, and it’s about to explode. Good or bad? Sort of depends. After I get over the shock, I can look forward to that wonderful elixir: coffee. The part that’s important is the way things seem to blow, squeal and make a generous racket right before the good stuff happens. You’ve got something a lot like my teakettle heating up in your own, Pisces life right now. Careful, don’t be too shocked when it whistles. Happy birthday, Pisces baby.
Aries: For several years, I would buzz down to the Texas Gulf Coast sometime after Valentine’s Day, ostensibly to work. It’s more along the lines of a working holiday, though, because the Gulf Coast is a relaxing place for me. There’s fishing, beaches, seafood, beaches, scantily clad females, beaches, and best of all, there’s that ever-present “island” spirit. Did I mention beaches? So maybe, what with visible oil derricks just off shore, maybe it’s not exactly the most picturesque of island scenes, there’s still a local sense of that beach attitude. Mars, frying his way through Sagittarius still, is lending you some energy. What would go a long way in making your next couple of days more enjoyable is to adopt that “island attitude.” When someone says, “I need it right now,” you reply, “I’ll get right on it, after I go for a dip in the ocean, do some surfing, walk along the beach at sunset, eat some fresh seafood…” Don’t get in an Aries all-fired up hurry.
Taurus: The opening quote from Shakespeare, about big things that burn out fast, and long, slow events that last for hours, some might think I picked that just for Taurus, for your week. Almost. When I started, I was looking at the “after Valentine’s burn out,” but when I looked at your chart, I couldn’t help but marvel at how well that one quote applies. Fast and furious is fun. A punk rock song that blares for 2 minutes can be quite energetic. But sometimes, a slow symphonic song that last for two hours is more enjoyable. You’re looking at one situation for the next couple of days, and you have a choice to make. This means, it’s a binary question, requires a “yes” or a “no” from you. Which one do you want? Fast and furious? I love that stuff. Highly energizing, but I’m burned out on it pretty fast. So are you. Long, slow, and steady? That’s sometimes a lot more fun. It’s your choice.
Gemini: Last pass. I hate using sports metaphors, and I detest Dallas Cowboys stuff–it has nothing to do with the team or pro football, I just get worn out from being exposed to an excess of, “Go Cowboys” spirited material. It’s a Texas thing. If you know any diehard sports fans, people loyal to one team with an almost religious fervor, then you understand. Over the next couple of day, Mr. Saturn, who’s been making most Gemini’s rather unpleasant, lines up for his last pass through the trailing edge of Gemini. Over the next few days, it’s time to consider heaving that one, last chance, “Hail Mary” pass. It’s a long shot. To be honest, it’s not that long of a shot, it’s just that some things seem so hopeless now, you just don’t figure that there’s much of a chance that anything will work out. Give it a shot. At one time, in the distant past, the Cowboys saved themselves with just such a move. It could work for you, too.
Cancer: Ever have one of those days when you seem to spend a lot of time assuring folks that things aren’t bad? Every time you turn around, there’s another person, and you say, “Don’t worry, be happy!” The folks you encounter all seem to be a little glum, a little frustrated, and little out of sorts. As an astrologer, I get a myriad of stuff dumped on me. Some weeks, I’m just as irritable as the next guy, only I have to keep up an appearance of everything is “okay.” Know that feeling? Even if you are not personally conversant with that feeling at this very moment, over the next day or two, maybe on into next week, it looks like you’re going to have “one of those days” when everyone else is unhappy. You can only use that lyrical little mantra, “Don’t worry–be happy” so many times without it starting to sound a little hollow. You’re the sign of the crab. Use your exoskeleton, that carapace you’ve got, employ its ability to shield you. Negative thoughts and downtrodden folks are a luxury you don’t need to afford.
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Leo: It’s so good right now, but after what it’s been like for the last [day, week, month, year, decade, century], you’re not trusting me about this. So, as I see it, there are a lot more positive influences in your Life of Leo, there are too many good things going, and you don’t need to let the good outweigh the bad. To be sure, I’ll get one note from that one Leo, about how wrong I am, but if you look around, you’ll see the good stuff, too. The reports are just starting to trickle in, but yes, the Bluebonnets are starting to poke up through the soil in portions of South Texas. It’s a ‘lupine’ flower, pretty a can be. Before too long, vast fields of these pretty wildflowers will adorn the Texas highways. You can see your Leo Highway of Life as a desolate road, a wide swath cut through the South Texas scrub oak and thorny mesquite, or you can look a little closer and notice that the flowers are starting to spring up. You get to make the call.
Virgo: I read a lot of mail. Fan mail, hate mail, pleas for clemency, diatribes, and tribal news. Plus the odd fishing magazine. It’s all a part of what I do. I still look forward to some quiet evening when I can stretch out and work my way through one of my dog-eared copies of a Shakespeare play as I always enjoy a little scholarship, even when it’s not expected. I suppose, though, that would be a more private pleasure. There’s something that gets lost in an exchange of mail, unless the note is very carefully written. Tone. While electronic mail offers those hideous smiley faces, the little typographical equivalent of suggesting a smirk, a grin, a wink, or even a frown, the tone of the note itself should be able to speak for itself. Too often, this is not the case. Look: over the next couple of days, you’re going to be tempted to drop a note to the astrologer, the author, the editor, or a similar figure. And while it’s supposed to be a wry, droll and funny expression, the chances are, it comes across as a heavy, pedantic, whining note. Look at what you write before you send it. I’m not talking about a proof read for spelling errors, no, this more along the lines of making sure your cute, wry, droll, witty self is truly expressed in the note. You don’t have to humor me, but it would help if you would humor whomever you are addressing.
Libra: I used to frequent this one catfish parlor, and I’ll admit I still love the place. The problem I have, it’s either Monday or Tuesday nights, they have an “all you can eat fried catfish” deal. Consider the price, then weigh that against what you reasonably think you can actually consume. Consider that this comes with a full compliment of side dishes, too, there’s potato salad, cole slaw, crisp fried okra, all the necessary fixings. There’s cocktail sauce, horseradish, tarter sauce, fresh baked bread with soft butter, and I think you’re starting to get the picture. This is less of a single meal and more reminiscent of one of the deadly sins: gluttony. A little indulgence of the finer things in life is okay. Certainly, around here anyway, fried catfish is one of the finer things in life, a true delicacy. You really think you can break the bank on the “all you can eat” deal?
Scorpio: Slow down, take it easy and realize that some folks are just a little cranky at this point in time. Not you, but people around you. Normal folks you interact with on a day-to-day basis. Some of them are little “underwhelmed” with your bad Scorpio self. It’s really easy to let out a typical, snide Scorpio comment like, “Oh, just get over it,” but the problem is, the folks you encounter don’t want to get over it. Some battles are worth it, and some battles really don’t merit the energy required to fight in an effective manner. Perhaps a better way to look at this, instead of telling someone else to just get over their bad selves, maybe you should try that for yourself. Looking at the heavens, it’s Mars, it’s Saturn, it could even be Venus, but all of these planets are making things good in Scorpio land whereas, the other signs are suffering some. Don’t gloat. Don’t rub our faces in it. Especially don’t brag about how good things are for you–let’s try another Scorpio trick: keep it secret for the next few days.
Sagittarius: Mars, especially when he lines up with Mr. Pluto, can bring up some “anger” issues. Nothing is worse than getting really bent out of shape about something, getting all up in arms, getting really worked up over an issue that, as it turns, isn’t that big of deal. The real problem, though, is giving your Sagittarius self enough time to realize that the issue at hand doesn’t merit the kind of attention that you think it deserves. On one lake, there’s a special spot that should yield a ton of fish. Weeds grow in the water, there are overhanging branches, willows and oaks come right down to the water’s edge, you can’t walk to this place–the only way to get there is by bass boat. [Maybe other boats can make it, but I’d like to think it’s my own, private place.] Never caught a single fish in that one spot. Never even got nibble, nary a hint of fish being there. They should be there. I can feel them in the lake, mocking my efforts. Fishing, last weekend, with my buddy, we didn’t go to my secret spot. You know what? I wasn’t as frustrated. This issue can be avoided. It didn’t work before–maybe skip it this time, and avoid the frustration.
Capricorn: Everything changes. Simply put, “Everything changes.” Venus is rocking and rolling through your sign, but Mr. Mars is still cooking along–with gas–in Sagittarius [that would be the sign that precedes lovely Capricorn]. Venus in your sign is good. Mars in Sagittarius brings up old fears. What this means, you’re going to have a good time–in spite of yourself–but you’re also going to worry that you’re having a good time. Before you send me a note to tell me that I’m not making any sense, think about it. Things are good. Life is okay. The haunting sense that something bad is about to happen is still there, but after looking at your chart, I’m pretty sure that this is merely a reflection of the stereotypical Capricorn need for a degree of worry. I love the way I can go out with a Capricorn, and one minute we are discussing the finer points of high art, while sitting in a sleazy taco stand in East Austin with grease dripping down to our elbows. It can be the best of both worlds. And quite worrying about the fat content of that taco. The fresh hot sauce has two properties: One, it will burn off any microorganisms that harbor diseases, and two, it will also burn up the negative effect of the grease.
Aquarius: There are big problems and little problems. The big problems are less of a hassle right now, in fact, in at least one situation, you should have an authority figure in your life [boss, employee, fishing buddy, expert witness, cop] come along and say something like, “Wow, you were so right!” Better yet, that one person will go on and apologize. There was a thing going on the last few weeks where you and I knew you were right but no one else agreed with us. I kept telling you it was their loss, and now, during the next few days, this will be reveled that yes, you were right. I knew it all along–too bad no one else agreed with us. That’s the good news for the week. The bad news is next week, like starting Monday morning. Due to the relative position of the moon and her phase, this is going to feel like a hollow victory. Being right doesn’t always feel that great. Work with this mood swing though. Or, rather, don’t work with it. You’re doing a victory dance, and no one else seems to understand that you’re doing okay. In a situation like this, I suggest you don’t let the little things get to you.
(c) 2002, 2003 by Kramer Wetzel for astrofish.net
