For the Week of: 6/26-7/2/2003
“Truth is truth/To the end of reckoning.”
Shakespeare’s Measure for Measure [V.i.45]
Moon Rise data.
Cancer: Ever feel like you’ve been weighted down with some kind of tremendous burden? It’s almost as if someone seems to expect something out of you? One fishing guide I know advertises, “If you don’t catch a thing, then you don’t owe us for the trip.” That’s a sweet deal, if you ask me. During the summer’s onset, like for the latter part of June, I wouldn’t expect that one guide to be making a lot of money. This has to do with expectations versus real results. I suppose, I don’t know, I’ve never done anything more than nod at the guy on the lake, but I would surmise that even the smallest, most paltry of fish would count as a catch and therefore, his clients would be obligated to pay. I can just see it now, the mental image of a small perch on the end of line, maybe a fish that got hooked instead of actually taking the bait, but by the terms advertised, I would suppose that the client would have to pay. “You did catch a fish,” the guide is suggesting.
This concept of expectations not being quite what you want, but still being delivered? That’s due to the way Cancer starts out this season. There’s a strange feeling that combines hope and hopelessness at the same time. Look: fishing isn’t exactly the greatest right now, and one of my buddy’s has the most obnoxious picture he snapped of me, we were fishing for bass, and I somehow snagged a tiny perch. So it wasn’t so tiny by perch standards, but it wasn’t much of a fish. I wish he’d never taken the picture, but you know, it’s okay. I do have a fish on the end of the line. Maybe not a record-setting fish; maybe not even something I would be proud of, but it is a fish. Celebrate the little deals. Tone down some of that overtly Virgo stuff, and be surprised at what happens — in a good way.
Leo: The problem is, my dear Leo friend, the problem is simple. The Sun, old Sol, that closest star to our planet, the bringer of light, that atomic furnace in the sky, the heavenly object most often attached to the sign of the magnificent Lion [Leo], is in the sign that comes before you.
Never mind the positive influence of Venus and Mercury in Gemini, never mind that the lucky planet, Jupiter, is in your sign right now, never mind any of this. Mr. Sun is cooking along in Cancer, and that creates a little bit of extra tension for your wonderful Leo self.
I’ve watched this stuff over the years, and sooner or later, and most likely in the next few days, you’re going to have a cloud blow over your usually sunny Leo face. From where I am, this cloud looks like it could drop some rain, maybe some enjoyable weather as it would be a change from the hot summer days [Northern Hemisphere, that one Leo in Australia needs to adjust the metaphor a little]. When the little clouds dart across your wonderful visage, just remember that I do, care more about Leo than ay other sign, and remember that at least one of us astrology writers is listening. It’s temporary cloud, and it could bring some much desired relief. Don’t let something minor affect your whole week. Consider it a change-up for the better.
Virgo: Just the most darling Virgo used to live at Shady Acres. Sweet lass, a little older than me, flaming red hair, and no, I don’t know if it was dyed or not. I have a hard and fast rule about not becoming romantically, emotionally, or even casually involved with any of my neighbors. Just makes life a lot easier. I would go so far, given my Sagittarius nature, to suggest that one should never date within one’s own city limits. Makes the relationship scene a lot smoother.
I did have an opportunity to throw a few customers towards that one Virgo; however, the way she demonstrated her appreciation left me wondering a bit. No money changed hands, no deep and abiding protestations of love, nothing more than a few comments about how the customers I threw her were “cheap [illegitimate male offspring].” But business is business, and any income is better than no income. This is a point that’s worth considering. Any kind of money coming in is a good thing. Don’t blame the astrologer, or your neighbor, for trying to lend a hand. You’d be surprised, too, as some of those cheapskates can wind up, in the long run, bringing in considerable cash for your Virgo self.
Libra: I was trying to make a point to an astrology client, a dear Libra, about a relationship issue. The point also involved a heavy dose of Mars energy, so I was hinting around rather than coming right out and berating her with the situation. She looked at me, then asked, “Oh, you mean, like the Karmic Sutra? The Suma Katra?” I turned the tape recorder off and laughed. “It’s called the Kama Sutra, and yes, that’s what I was talking about.”
Although the idea of stitching one’s ‘karma’ back together isn’t such a bad idea. Might not be today, might not be right now, but before too long, you’re going to get to stitch back together a situation. In one realm, this is heavy with the implied “karma.” I tend to believe that using the term “karma” and “astrology” in the same sentence implies that there’s a certain lack of real world application. So instead of making muddy water even less clear, let’s look at it this way: you get a chance to right a previous perceived wrong action on your Libra part.
Note the careful choice of words, “previously perceived.” In other words, you get a chance to set your Libra record straight; correct a false assumption someone’s made about you. Do it nicely, too. That’ll go a lot further in seeing that this doesn’t happen again. Who knows? Maybe you’ll mispronounce something, and that’ll be good for a laugh, adding some [much needed these days] Libra lightheartedness to the question.
Scorpio: I was sitting in a dark tent, with a sign out front that said, “Information.” I was sitting next to a darling lass at the time, and in my usual form, I asked her birthday. “Oh I’m a Scorpio, through and through,” she said. Then, she proceeded to tell me the awful things she’d done to her boyfriend when the poor sot wouldn’t leave her alone. Just as she was about to drone on a little more, her lilting, melodic Scorpio voice lulling me into a sense of drowsy familiarity, she let out a bloodcurdling scream. She jumped up, thrashed her arms around in the air.
I was seriously shocked. Freaked. “What? WHAT?” The cop standing beside the tent turned, and started over towards us, “What’s wrong?” he asked, his hand resting on the butt of his firearm. “It’s a bug!” screamed our Scorpio. “I hate bugs!” I chuckled. The cop thanked her for making his evening a little more interesting, and he went back to guarding his piece of fence. The beautiful Scorpio, once a lovely tan color, was blanched white; her eyes were wide with terror. “I hate bugs.”
I couldn’t help but tell her the story about the flying roach my cat once caught and brought to my bed, either as a crunchy appetizer or as an offering, I’m not sure which. But my recounting of the story was only fair; that one little Scorpio had shaken up everyone. The deal is there’s no need to wake us all up with such a demonstration of panic. It was a just a cricket. I mean, that’s what the bug was. At least my cat comes up with scary bugs.
Sagittarius: I read my horoscope in the newspaper the other day. It mentioned travel, a relative, and money. Adventure, the family, and cash: sort of a big three in the field of prognostication. Me, on the other hand, I’m not going to mention all three. I’m not even going to suggest one of those. I see a slightly different, more pervasive yet subtle influence working its way into our Sagittarius lives. To be honest, I don’t put much stock in the stuff in the papers, and my reasons for that are listed elsewhere.
Besides, it really missed a topic that’s near and dear to every Sagittarius heart: romance. As long as Venus is opposite us in Gemini, there’s a hint that the romantic side of life is a little more challenging than usual. As I’ve often quoted, “Sagittarius has a great way of saying the best possible thing at the worst possible time.” It’s a special talent we all have. But that Venus influence, it could rear its ugly little head these days, and make us pull a stupid stunt. While we were being honest, completely honest, there’s always a chance that we weren’t using the greatest amount of tact and diplomacy. Brush up on the charm expression. Drag out the romantic poetry a little, see if we can’t make a our message a little nicer.
Capricorn: One of my red-headed Capricorn friends popped by the other day [there were, at least count, an even half dozen females who fit this description, each different, yet uncannily similar in certain traits, i.e., passionate]. While following the time-honored tradition of “bitching” as opposed to “venting,” she was a little worked up about a certain issue in her life [modesty doesn’t allow me to mention the guy’s name, or, for that matter, the true nature of the complaint.]
See: the difference between the two forms of verbal self-expression is the “need” factor. Folks need to vent whereas a good bitching is more about self-entertainment. Or entertainment for your astrology fishing guide. So this one Capricorn let off with wild tirade about this and that, complete with visuals, much arm waving, and few added sound effects. It was quite entertaining.
Before the whole show was through, or presentation, because that’s what it felt like, I was exhausted, both physically and emotionally, just from trying to keep up with what was going on where, when, and how. And I know I missed a few salient points, much to my surprise. “Well, that’s that. Ready to go eat?” she asked. I was ready for a nap, myself, almost comatose from the various vagaries of her experience. Use a little caution when you launch into just such a tirade. Remind us that this is for entertainment purposes only, not for mental health. Some of the rest of us get confused about such issues.
Aquarius: Work is so weird. Most of the Aquarius folks I know don’t hold down what could be traditionally called “a real job.” Could be the circles I run in, or it could be my normally unusual acquaintances. Or it could be that dear little Aquarius types just don’t want to be slammed down into a “straight” job. That doesn’t stop you from being a good worker, though.
With the series of strange influences kicking around, there’s a chance, an opportunity to tap into this weird energy, and yes, unfortunately, this involves where — or how — you work. How you do what you do to earn income, or where you do what you do to earn income, or, more importantly, the process that you follow to earn income, these are important considerations. It’s the beginning of the summer [Northern Hemisphere], and it’s hot. Hot as can be.
I’m not one to go around and light extra firecrackers at a time like this as it makes some people jump a little too much. I’ve got at least one friend who might have heart attack at the sound of an unexpected and unsuspected report like that. But think in Aquarius terms, consider this a chance to shake something up, and it’s like that loud report. Although, I’m not sure that I would actually employ a firecracker to do this.
Pisces: I was just strolling along the other day, I think I was downtown when I saw this: a stern looking Hispanic woman with a T-shirt that said, “I’m the boss.” There was a cartoon character, too, one that I didn’t recognize. But you get the picture? She had a “hermana” in tow, and a couple of small “ninos” tagging along, as well. I took one look at the shirt, glanced up at her face as we passed, and quizzed her, “Verdad?” Said with a smile and good accent, I hope.
I believe she just rolled her eyes at me, as if to suggest, “What you want white-boy? Why not put your shirt on? You too skinny. You need some tortillas to fatten you up. Sheesh, some guys.” All of that from one roll of the eyes. Pay attention here, you can express the same type of sentiments, a world-weary, wise beyond your Pisces years, disgust, amusement, cynical disdain, all with one roll of the eyes. There’s another expression, too, but that doesn’t bear repeating here.
Me? I was trying to be casually merry and friendly. A couple of points here: yes, you are the boss. Yes, you are smarter, brighter, and probably a little more in charge than we let on. Yes, someone’s going to act friendly; deal with his skinny white self as you deem appropriate.
Aries: My cat’s an old lady these days, and yet, she still remembers what it’s like to be a good hunter. One night, she was perched by the edge of the trailer’s back door, watching the bats chase after the insects. Austin is home to one of the largest urban colonies of migrant Mexican Free Tail bats–little rodents on wings.
About three-quarters of a million of these guys fly in during the spring, nest under the Congress Avenue Bridge, a little east of here, and give birth to their pups. They’re like rats on hang gliders, or, as the cat would think, meals on the wing. When these bats are out feeding, in the night sky, they dart around with their little sonar thing working, and it looks like erratic flight–just the sort of activity to interest the cat. I’m unsure of what she’s thinking exactly, but it could be, “If I could only use the dove gun, I could wing a few of these suckers,” or it could be, “If that one would only come in a little closer, I’d have me a fine meal.”
Look: your Aries self is just like my cat, dreaming about catching a delicious snack. The odds are, it won’t ever happen, right? Never, ever underestimate the power of dreaming, though, as your Aries tail twitches. She’s actually caught one before, and it could happen again.
Taurus: One of my friends is a particularly bitter female. Not really a bitter girl, it’s just she’s had the misfortune of falling for a musician, and like most folks who make their homes on the road, that rock star boyfriend left my Taurus friend, well, a little bitter.
I got to listen to her the other night, and she was trying to prove that she was “over him,” more along the lines of, “I am so over him.” To this end, she was busy demonstrating how easy it is for anyone to be a musician. She picked up a guitar, strummed a chord, and launched into a song she wrote. Her lyrical, lilting Taurus voice, a hint of a raspy cigarette quality buried in there, it was quite moving. The song lasted about two minutes, and the primary refrain was, “I’m over you now.” She then pointed out how easy it to be a musician, swinging into her next composition, “Bop, bop, [guitar goes twang-twang], I’m a better person now….” “See?” she asked, “I can be a musician, too.” She went through about six songs, never more than a two minutes per song, and the message in each song was pretty much the same, an embittered female, jilted love, everything in her life was better now that he was gone.
12 minutes of music, two chords, I don’t know if it will have commercial appeal, but she did prove one thing: you can, indeed, do anything you want. She did prove that it was easy [for her] to play music just like that rock star. Personally, I think her music was a little better, if more bitter. But that could be me. You can do anything you want, you just have to try.
Gemini: Texas weather is a fickle thing. We’ll get these summer days wherein it feels like we will never, ever see the temperature drop down into a comfort zone, not outside. There’s an enjoyable side to this, though, as it separates the true Texans from the poseurs who want to claim Texas as a home rather than really being from around here. Yes, our searing heat is good for that. Softens them up, drives them off.
What’s even more amusing, to suit my humor, I’ve found that the males tend to complain more than the females. Never did quite understand that one, as us guys should be able to stand the heat a little bit better. Maybe we’re not used to having to work in a hot kitchen or something. Maybe I’d better let the sexist comments go, too.
Venus & Mercury are in your sign. This is good. It’s summer time, and looks to be a hot one soon enough, that’s tough. Like my own subjective observations about which gender deals with the heat more effectively, I’d suggest you come up with some of your own, very-Gemini-like observations. Develop a hypothesis. Test it, ask a few questions, make a few notes. You’re in the enviable position of having a little more charm than usual, try using it to get what you want.
