“[She is] a callat/Of boundless tongue who late hath beat her husband,/And now she baits me!”
Shakespeare’s The Winter’s Tale (II.iii.90-2)
For a quick-overview of what the year looks like? Mercury RX dates: 12/17/03 – 1/6/03 Cap/Sag. 4/6-29/03 Tau/Ari. 8/9-9/1/03 Vir/Leo. 11/30-12/19/03 Sag. Venus RX 5/17-6/28/03 Gem. Jupiter RX 1/3-5/4/03 Vir.
The Mercurial cycles are interesting to me because there will be a total of four, and the first one indicates how this cycle will affect us in the coming year, Mercury gets down to the last few degrees of Sagittarius. Fire Signs. The one in the spring, in the late summer and next winter, all are predominately Fire Sign Mercury RX. Venus backwards in Gemini? Lots of chatter. Look for relationships that sink because of too much talk. Finally, that Jupiter RX period?
Jupiter’s backwards motion is going to fit nicely with Uranus moving into Pisces, 12/30/03. Pisces: get comfortable with being unstable. And then Jupiter, opposite in Virgo? Deal is, Jupiter only retrogrades about ten degrees, total, from 18 Virgo back down to 8 Virgo. Not a big deal, but watch: the year kicks off and then the “new” wears off pretty fast. Be a little more patient, the planets have good things for this year, only very little will be delivered on January 1. Other than these scopes, of course.
Aries: I was standing on the corner the other afternoon, idly conversing with a neighbor. We saw the strangest thing, it was a dog chasing truck. That image, in and of itself, wasn’t so strange, but the stories that we made up about what happened, those got to be pretty good. It was a big pit bull, and it was an older model truck, with a few items bouncing around in the back. It rounded the corner, and the dog was trailing along at breakneck speed. The dog’s tongue was out, and it seemed like he was enjoying his run, chasing that truck. Now, did the dog jump out of the truck? Roll out on a corner and the driver was unaware? Or was the driver just letting the dog stretch his legs? Or, was that a guard dog, and the truck was escaping with some purloined goods? Seems like a weird way to take a dog out for some exercise, but this was in Texas, and I’ve heard stranger things than that. Ask yourself, for the new year, is it the actual scene that you see? Or is it the stories that you make up about what you see?
Taurus: Sitting in a bass boat–a largely theoretical job these days–and not talking much with your fishing partner can be a normal way to fish. I’ve had mornings when not two words have been shared between fishing buddies. We just fish and enjoy the silent camaraderie. Sometimes, the conversation is limited to nothing more than the location we’re motoring off to fish at. Sometimes, hours will go by with no depth of verbal communication. Now, on some occasions, like, if there is a troubling world event, or if the political scene needs our dissection, the talk can get fast and deep. On such occasions, another topic can make lots of verbal organic bovine byproduct, well, it’s all piled pretty high for a little bass boat. But that silent reverie during the predawn moments? Enjoy that. Your Taurus self is charged with keeping your Taurus mouth firmly closed for the next couple of day. This isn’t, like, for forever, but there’s a comment or two you might want to make, “Let me say this about what you said,” and that comment about the comment might not be well-received. Timing is everything and this might be the best time to be quiet and let other signs make fools of them selves.
Gemini: “How cool is it when a firearm you own breaks not one but two federal regulations?” It was a real question from an actual Gemini buddy of mine, a couple of years ago. Turned out that the firearm in question wasn’t illegal at all. It just looked like it might be illegal. One local arms dealer wouldn’t touch it. Spooked my Gemini buddy. It’s all a function of Mercury, when you’re dealing with a situation like this, too. Depends on where it falls in the individual chart, too. So are you going to start out this year a little spooked by inaccurate information? Or do actually own a problem that might or might not be a real problem? Or is it all in your Gemini heads? Don’t shoot me, I’m only the astrologer. However a little more in-depth research, not just a quick Google search, might be appropriate for a real answer.
Cancer: My mother was looking at an Xmas gift. It was a little bauble I’d picked up along the road someplace, and she was eyeing it, trying to determine its sources. “Who did this come from?” she asked. As if my brand of wrapping paper didn’t give it all away? Strange how this happens–my answer? “Santa brought you that.” I’ve been waiting, for years, to use that expression on my own parental unit. Just sort of fit. Something winds up in your Cancer lap. Or lands within the grasp of your curvaceous carapace. You get your pincers on some item, one way or another. Then comes the question of the source. It’s mostly Mercury, but it could be other sources, as well, like Mr. Saturn. Never hurts to have a prepared statement like I did.
Leo: Mercenary Mercury is a predictable little planet. The rest of the planets are equally predictable, but not nearly as much fun. There was some movement, right at the very tail end of the year that shocked, amused, and turned your world sideways. Now it’s up to you to do something with that new energy. The deal is, Mercury started out backwards, and an as such, maybe RIGHT NOW isn’t the best time to launch something new. Great ideas, sure, you’ve got them. Wonderful thoughts, a few key concepts that will serve you well in the new year, but as for actually implementing this action? Maybe not right now. I’ll give you a big hint: last year, I looked the Mercury RX event in January, and I thought to myself, “No broken promises here, no need to make any resolutions that won’t be met.” Zero expectations yielded 100% compliance. Think about some New Year Resolutions, and think about how to get from “here” to “there.” Then put all those ideas back on the shelf. We’ll return to them in a week or two.
Virgo: I tried to take back a lottery ticket I bought. I pointed out that the ticket had exactly no winning numbers on it. The guy behind the counter at the convenience store where I frequently trade doesn’t speak a lot of English. He laughed at me. He promised me that I would win big, one day. Just maybe not today. Two things happen to start out your Virgo year, Mercury straightens up and Jupiter slides into a retrograde motion. Good or bad? It’s like my losing lottery ticket, you know, it only cost me a dollar. No big deal. And I certainly got my money’s worth on the entertainment, the anticipation, the conversation about the fact that it was a losing ticket, and so forth. That same bland admonishment that the clerk gave me? I’m taking him, word for word, and passing that comment onto you. Virgo dear, you’re going to win big one day. Soon. What are you going to do with that big win? Here’s the hint, and the challenge, don’t spend all until the check clears your bank account. Now, what are you doing to put yourself in position to win big?
Libra: I woke up the other morning, in a Libra state of mind, to the sound of a particular cat clearing a hairball from her throat. Right onto the bed. Right at the corner of the bed. Not six inches from where my feet were. I was too tired to bother to move the cat someplace better for her activity, like, out the door. So when I finally crawled out of bed, there it was, in all its moist glory, a nice little “gift” left behind, by the mistress. Having a feline animal companion is usually a pleasurable experience. Every once in a while, though, she leaves a little reminder about her disposition, or the fact that she didn’t like last night’s dinner, or maybe the pizza wasn’t to her liking. Not enough anchovies? Whatever the source of her discomfort, or the reasoning behind leaving me a gift like that will forever remain a female mystery to me. Some things in life are better not fathomed, like why cats and girlfriends do anything. Face to face with just such an action, ask your Libra self what is the best course of action. Me? I got up, fixed coffee, made the bed, careful to avoid the cat’s mess, and then, after she was fed and petted, I got around to cleaning up the hairball spot. You can get all up in arms because someone like the cat leaves a little mess behind, or you can just take it all in stride, and once the new year is firmly in place, you can get around to cleaning up the mess. Doesn’t do much good to get upset with the cat though, she’s just doing what comes naturally.
Scorpio: I tend to ask a lot of questions. Part of that comes from academic training I received at the feet of a great thinker. That teacher taught me to ask awkward questions, and he taught me that no question could really be too stupid. Not long ago, when I was in a city that never seems to sleep, we’d all wandered into a 24 hour diner. The neon sign outside loudly proclaimed, “Open 24 Hours a day, 365 Days A Year!” At the time, the place was kind of empty. A dispirited busboy was slowly mopping the floor by the restrooms, and the single waitress in a black and white uniform was casually rolling silverware into neat bundles. The hostess was on smoke break, outside the front door. Not a soul in sight. “Are you open?” I asked. Exhaling a cloud of smoke, the hostess looked at me, deadpan. Or bored. “Like I haven’t heard that one before?” Sometimes, my humor is lost on certain people. Sometimes, your sly, sardonic Scorpio humor is lost on some audiences. As the new year begins to unfold, it wouldn’t hurt you to be a little more forgiving when one of your cute [I thought the last Scorpio quip was funny] comments fail to elicit correct response. For the start of this new year, maybe think about adding one of my tag lines, “It was joke, get it?”
Sagittarius: I was walking through a portion of downtown, probably off to meet a client or have a cup of coffee, or maybe I was doing both. The last of the leaves have finally fallen off the oak trees, and there was handful of those dead, brown leaves skittering along in the winter wind, making that noise only leaves on a sidewalk can make. Grey day, clouds overhead, not exactly a cheery time. It’s that winter feeling. Up ahead, the hand-lettered sign for a coffee place came into view. Inside, a lone barista was there, reading an epic tome of some sort. For some reason, maybe it was the coffee, maybe it was because I was out of the wind, but for some reason, I started to feel a little warmer, a little better. Winter days in Texas are like that. Despite the overcast skies, like, those will change in a day or two, the feeling is slightly reflective. Bear with me for moment, listen to those leaves on the sidewalk. There’s a momentarily lonely feeling you get. Then, as this new year arrives, it’s like walking into that familiar place with its bright lights, you start to feel your blood quicken. This year starts out on slow note as Jupiter starts a backward trek. Are you going to listen to the music of the leaves on the sidewalk? Or just bemoan our Sagittarius fates?
Capricorn: One particularly savvy Capricorn girl I know–yes, a red head–pulled out of the stock market years ago. She came to this great conclusion that the stock market was nothing more than legalized gambling. It was all game, and when she finally realized that, she felt a lot better. She held on ten shares of one tech stock that she did well with, but other than the sentimental value of those pieces of paper, she’s out of that game completely. Those ten shares? Hardly worth the paper they’re printed on. Sentimental value? Priceless. Reminder that some games are best left to folks with stronger constitution? Again, priceless. Knowing when to fold up and call it quits? Priceless. Lots of priceless information here. Knowing when to realize than you’re in over your Capricorn head, and the game is no longer fun? Again, that’s priceless information. You just got a hot tip from me, look at this as the Capricorn birthdays continue to roll along, you’re in a position where you might just want to call it quits on a few of the games you play. That’s priceless. (Free advice, too.)
Aquarius: Everyone else is having a tough time. Most of the Aquarius types I’ve dealt with the last few weeks, though, they seem to have this remarkable reserve of enthusiasm, buoyant good hope, and abundant cheer. Weird how that works. Mercury is backwards, but for some strange reason, Aquarius isn’t letting the little mismanaged events get in the way. Little planets are responsible for little things, the bigger planets are more geared towards great events. Look: it’s half good and half bad. The glass is half full or it’s half empty. It’s still a fifty-fifty proposition in your neck of the astrological neighborhood. My bet is that you’re really doing rather well, in spite of the “the sky falling” mentality running rampant. The question is, “how long can you maintain a cheery face when looking at what might appear to be insurmountable odds?” Valid question, too. What’s my part in this? I happen to really enjoy the company of an Aquarius type or two. Just the way it is. Apparently, not all folks who write horoscopes have a genuine deep-seated respect for the sign of the water bearer. Plus, you’re going to encounter a few people as this next year starts out who are not particularly happy about some situation. Show some uncharacteristic personal compassion–when you can–to help others along. Can you maintain compassion and distance at the same time?
Pisces: On my way to the airport the other day, I saw what I thought was a plane landing the in fog–only it was taking off, not landing. Just disappeared. No, really, this happened. A Pisces was giving me a ride to the airport, and it was one of those winter nights in Austin when darkness and moisture had caused a goofy condition. Or maybe it was just some low-flying clouds. It was something. Those big airplane headlights in the sky, and I thought, “Cool! Landing lights, coming in right over our heads. Look at that!” Then the plane disappeared. Gone. Vanished without a trace. Up, up and away? I was arriving at the airport two hours ahead of schedule. [Depending on a Pisces when Mercury is retrograde, never hurts to allow for a little extra time.] Because of the fog, most of the flights were delayed, as there was heavy weather in Dallas and fog in Houston. Texas weather, who’d a-thunk it might be a problem? Anyway, my flight departed precious close to its scheduled time, which was so weird. But I couldn’t shake that image of the plane disappearing. I was so sure it was landing, too. Your Pisces New Year starts out with something that looks one way, and as it turned out, even just moments later, it’s not what it seems. Coming or going? Doesn’t much matter, it’s might not be headed in the direction that you thought. And getting there two hours ahead of schedule? That might not hurt, either. The deal is, with New Year unfolding, accept that there are some sights that are not what they appear to be.
