Jan. 24 is the Feast Day of St. John de Sales, the patron of editors and writers.
Aries: There are a couple of ways to address this energy present in the Aries world. Ultimately, it’s good. Very good. Well nigh on excellent. Pretty darn sweet. Good stuff. The problem is that not everyone in your world is sharing this profound sense of relief that you’re enjoying. I realize that not everyone is that happy with you. You’ve been a little too quick to answer questions, sometimes cutting people off ahead of time, sometimes being a little too fast with a correct answer–or, more likely–not quite precise enough with your answers. Doesn’t bother me, as I understand the Aries mind. I like the Aries mind. I tend to like the Aries body even more, but that’s wholly different question, and one I’m not prepared to discuss at this point. What I ran into the other week was my typical Aries, and she was attempting to finish all my sentences for me. “So what you’re saying,” she was hastily cut me off, “is this….” Which, in fact, was not what I was saying, but she didn’t give me enough time to finish my statement. I’m long-winded in a Texas, meandering way. I sort of wander around to get to a point. This doesn’t sit well with the current Aries temperament. There was a nuance she completely missed when she finished my statement. And in doing so, missed the whole idea I was driving towards. That’s the problem, you’re a little too quick for us. Let us finish what we have to say before you jump in.
Taurus: I’ve been using a digital organizer for well over ten years now. Been using one form factor after another, to keep track of dates, readings, address, and, of course, nothing is quite as cool as being able to whip out a phone that calculates an astrology chart. I had one of those for a couple of years. “It’s a phone, and what’s your birthday?” Handy device for someone like me. Most of those handheld digital devices have a little slot for a stylus. Most of the styli fall out, sooner or later. Got so I was buying the styli in bulk, cheap replacements. I’d still find times when I had to use either the backside of a pen or even my fingertip because the stylus had slipped out. I lost one the other day, arriving at my appointed destination at the appointed time, and I was upset for some reason. But not too upset. Remember: I buy in bulk for just such exigencies. About two days later, I remembered that I’d lost another stylus. No big deal, really. Slipped another one in from the stash. I was tugging on my jacket, days later, and I felt something in the pocket: turned out to be that missing stylus. What was lost was found. What was missing was replaced. What was gone was now doubled. Be patient, don’t freak out, just pick up the pieces and move on, and don’t be surprised if you wind up with two of what you lost.
Gemini: I was looking at sign, by the side of the road, and I thought “Wow, that would be such a hot looking web graphic….” It was just a typical road-side sign, you know, the kind with removable letters. In my Gemini mind, I set up a computer graphic file with all the letters of the alphabet as parts, so that I could mix them up and change the message whenever I wanted to. It was one of those signs framed by an arrow, and the top portion had regular light bulbs in it, and I could mix those up, too, and change which ones were burned out, and then, I would have this totally trick piece of computer art that could be changed at a moment’s notice, to reflect whatever my current mood was. I’m not really a Gemini, so this whole mental process took me at least twenty minutes. When I actually sat myself down at the computer, mouse in hand, and started to draw up the proposed signage, I quickly got tired. Computer graphics can be labor-intensive operations, and frankly–with very Gemini-like attitude–I grew tired and decided it was way too much work for a little piece of web art. Great idea, poor execution on my part. You’ve got some excellent ideas. Probably have my poor execution skills, too. Way it goes. But think about flying those ideas past someone who does have the patience to implement them, that’s you’re strength this week.
Cancer: I was in the “downtown district” the other day. Cold, blustery day, and I was dressed warmly in jeans, boots, flannel shirt, jacket. As I was wandering along, I saw a meter maid, a short, dark-skinned lady, merry brown eyes poking out from underneath the hood of her sweatshirt, which was under an all-weather coverall. I’ve seen this particular meter maid [okay, okay, “meter reading city employee person” to be painfully politically correct], and I’ve always guessed that she’s a Cancer. Just a guess, too, never said much more than a cheery “Hi!” That morning last week? All I did was smile. Not my usual goofy grin, just a smile and a nod of the head. Just about everyone hates the meter people–the folks who hand out parking tickets. I don’t know, I’d just feed the meter, or park in a garage. 50 cents or $10 parking ticket? Which makes more sense? And why growl at the meter reading people? It’s not like it’s their fault you didn’t pay, or you didn’t shovel enough change in the meter in the first place. Looking at your chart, I suspect you feel a lot like that meter maid these days. You’re just doing your job, and any number of folks get upset with your Cancer self. Look: I just explained how I nod and smile. At least one persons being nice, right? “So you’re not really going to put that ticket on my truck, are you?”
Leo: This scope gets off to a depressing start. But wait! There’s more! I promise! The New Moon across the sky from Leo is just not a great start to your weekend. However, long about Saturday, or so, it all changes. Much for the better. This is a rerun, almost of a previous situation, but I’ll promise that it’s getting better. Easy enough for me to say. Your task, should you decide to do something help ease the burden of the localized Leo depression, the quick and dirty way out of it? Practice not hurting anyone with your vindictive tongue. Or practice not using your Leo claws on some poor, unsuspecting–albeit deserving–individual who is probably not a Leo. If I can get you to sneak through the weekend in a tame manner, next week, you can thank my voluminously and shower me with cash gifts, for saving you from a mistake.
Virgo: One of my favorite CDs developed this terrible little habit of skipping. It started jumping its first track right at the beginning of a song. What’s worse, I’m essentially too lazy to do much about this defect. I just let it ride. Got so I just figured that the song stated out with stuttering entrance like that. I just supposed that the song was three false starts before it started to play. What was so strange, I expected to hear that, the artists, when I finally got around to seeing him live, I was listening for that stuttering entrance. It was all a function of my own imagination coupled with a dirty laser head on the CD player. Nothing more. All in my own head. However, I kind of liked that introduction, my style. “Pimp Daddy K-Man,” I can just imagine that would be my DJ name. If you’ve ever seen me dance, though, I doubt I could be called hip-hop. Be more like bunny hop. My legendary lack of grace on the dance floor doesn’t interfere with me having a good time. Jupiter, in his current position, is going to be like that CD in my player, three starts to get it right. And you’re not the most graceful one on the dance floor of life these days. But that doesn’t mean you don’t have a good time, once you get past the false starts.
Libra: I got an unexpected 1099 form in the mail. First off, it came a little early. If I were mailing out those forms, I would wait until January 31 to make sure I wasn’t moving too fast. If I recall–and I don’t–those forms just need to be postmarked by that date. What was unexpected was that I actually got a form from that one company. I didn’t think I’d done that much work for them in the last year. It was a subtle reminder of what had gone before. You’re starting to collect up the necessary forms to do your taxes, and you’re like me, you get an unexpected 1099 form from a source wherein you didn’t think you really made that much money. But you did. This is s reminder, a hint, about things to come. Taxes? Yes, there’s that. And I will not debate to the pros and cons of the tax system, it’s not one of those topics I’m prepared to discuss. I have no idea where I fit with the tax code. However, there’s also a reminder that this is a good time to make some plans for this next year. What you missed last year? You can get it in the next year, and now’s a good time to start planning. Start by looking backwards so you can chart an upward climb — forward.
Scorpio: For years, Ma Wetzel [Scorpio] has been undeniably upset with my choice in artwork. One of the best features, as far as I’m concerned, is that I have black velvet Elvis [handmade, no doubt, in Mexico] hanging as the focal point of the trailer’s living room. Most folks have the TV or the entertainment console as the focus of all the energy in the living room. Not me, an Elvis takes center stage. This is not what your Scorpio self finds most appealing. The trenchant wit is lost. Sardonic sarcasm is lost. All right, since most folks miss my Scorpio humor with my Elvis painting as a holy shrine, you’re finding that your better than average wit, sarcasm, humor and sardonic sense of the absurd is missed by most. Might be missed by all, at this point. That’s a problem. Usually, I’d dismiss the problem, but the way the planets, three influences in particular, stack up, there’s a hint that you might just want to tone it down for the nonce. Some folks fail to understand your humor–that’s okay, you’ll get the last laugh yet. But be a little more delicate when tread, and how you waltz around. Some other, lesser signs, might not get the little joke.
Sagittarius: When Mr. Jupiter, the planet voted most likely associated with Sagittarius, goes into a backwards position, I’ve found that a low-level depression sets in around our sign. It’s not bad, happens every year, it’s not a big deal. Noting to worry about, not really. Funny thing is, Jupiter is basically on a 12-year cycle. So is, for that matter, is the Chinese New Year. Always liked a little place-mat astrology. If I could just turn in shorter scopes, I’m sure I could get my material on placemats in an Asian Restaurant, too. I wonder if it pays well? Thinking about getting paid and doing my taxes, now that stuff depresses me. The “profit and loss” for this last year hasn’t been all that great, unless you like the loss portion instead of the profit of prophet. Which depresses me. And then, we’re back to that low-level depression circling our sign, events associated with Jupiter’s apparent retrograde motion. Which makes me think maybe I should aim for shorter scopes, and try to sell them to place-mat companies. Then, I figure, I can’t do that, and I get all depressed, all over again. It’s a never ending cycle, until I decide that I just have to answer the muse the only way I know how. I’m suggesting the exact same for all the rest of my Sagittarius brethren and sisteren: stay true to your nature. Don’t over-analyze the situation too much, you’ll wind up in that same pit of despair with me.
Capricorn: I’ve got this one Capricorn client, and she shows with infrequent tales that are incredibly amusing. “You ain’t going to believe this one bubba, so anyway I was on my way to….” is how she usually opens. Breathless. Chest heaving. Animated. Amusing. Things that happen to that one girl are just amazing. If I didn’t know that she was actually a Capricorn, through and through, I would certainly doubt the veracity of the stories. In fact, I figure that’s her saving grace. Plus, after years and years of amazing tales, she’s finally got the art of telling the story down pat. She can deliver the right amount of arm waving, doing other voices, trying to get a point across, and the right emphasis is always important. In fact, most “mature” Capricorn’s are rather adept at the art of telling the story. In her case, it’s even better because she doesn’t really care if you follow what she’s saying, now what I mean? In the ensuing couple of days, you get to tell some tales. Watch your delivery. Not everyone is as gifted as my buddy at keeping the audience’s attention focused.
Aquarius: I heard the strangest noise the other night, laying in a bed in a trailer park in Texas: a skill saw. No, there’s nothing unusual about hearing a skill saw, big teeth, whirring blade, slicing right through lumber, no that’s not an unusual noise. I’m familiar with it. I can recognize it. At one point in my life, I could even tell what condition the blade was in, how thick the lumber was, and maybe, I could take a good, knowing guess at the brand of power tool being used. Alas, I’ve distanced myself from manual labor as much as possible so I was unable to identify much more than a saw cutting through lumber. But why was some person working on carpentry project at 1 in the morning? And exactly how much carpentry does one really need to do in trailer homestead? Besides, at that hour, given the disposition of most the residents, isn’t there a higher probability of some kind injury because of an impaired state? It was an Aquarius-occupied trailer, as I later came to find out, and the project was a hutch outside the back door, and there were a number of complaints about the noise, plus the park’s management, such as it is, was upset that there was modification to an existing trailer’s lot. You have some wonderful ideas for your own improvement projects, but the middle of the night, while it might make perfect sense to your Aquarius self, which might not fly with the rest of us.
Pisces: I was ordering up an espresso, an afternoon favorite these days as the little espresso is less expensive, and the way the oily concoction rolls off the tongue, leaving a lingering flavor of coffee extract, not to mention the effect of caffeine on my systems, just works well as an afternoon libation. I started this when it was warmer out, and I didn’t want to be slurping on a triple-sized latte. As is my habit, I’ve gotten to where I ask the barista what his or her birthday is, as I’m still looking for that ideal combination. So far, the earth signs have produced the best espresso. “Man, you don’t really believe that stuff, do you?” one coffee counter person was asking me, “someone’s sign makes better coffee?” Suffice it to say that I was sorely disappointed in that espresso. For less than two bucks, though, I can’t complain. That idea of a little, concentrated jolt of caffeine in the afternoon is a wonderful idea, only, with everything shaking loose in your world the way it is, maybe it’s not such a great activity. With the way planets are shaking your tree, I’m not sure that you really want to be getting over-amped in the late afternoon, only to find that you can’t sleep at night. Beauty rest is important, and these days, it’s coming at a premium. Find a nice earth sign for a little grounding–just maybe not one of my double espresso treats.
