“She was as false as water.”
Shakespeare’s Othello [V.ii.135]
Aries: Between Dallas and Austin, along the freeway [Interstate] there’s about three patches of open area. The rest of the space is rapidly becoming urban sprawl. There’s some farmland visible, open prairie, between Austin and Belton, then a little more between Waco and the outlet mall south of Dallas, but that’s about it. Not much open space is left roadside. I was thinking about that commute because every time, I pass this one, lone truck stop/cafe/convenience store. I got stranded there once when the flapper valve in the carburetor didn’t flap right. I was stranded until a kindly bubba in another pickup showed me a way to tie that flapper thing open with a piece of bailing wire, and I was back on the road. No big deal. Four hour delay. Fixed with bailing wire. I think about that every time I roll up and down the highway there, too. You’re going to get stalled out, pretty soon, like sometime after the weekend. Bummer. But if you’re patient enough, some nice feller in pickup swings by, takes one look, rummages around the back of his truck and comes up with a solution. Four-hour delays are problematic, but look on the bright side, that fix didn’t cost me any more than a six-pack of beer, and that was considered a generous tip.
Taurus: I was quizzing a young lady–not a Taurus–about her Taurus boyfriend. She wasn’t sure that she was really into the whole “astrology thing” because it didn’t fit her too well, but those Taurus descriptions? Fit her boyfriend to a letter. Which letter? Letter “T” for Taurus. “He’s such an epicurean, you know, only the best.” Which fits. I got off on this thought because I was thinking about trying to sound urban, hip and cool, saying something like “Taurus is IN the house, baby.” But that doesn’t fly. I am so not hip, it’s disgusting. Besides, it looks really bad when an older guy like myself tries to emulate the action, gestures, and speech patterns of younger people. Looks bad, know what I mean? Mars is rapidly approaching Taurus. Changing houses, too. By the end of this scope, Mars will be in the Taurus “house” — the astrological home of Taurus. Fire up the grill, things are going to get mighty warm in the next few weeks, starting, right after this weekend.
Gemini: It is time for a trek to the bookstore. In the good, old days, we preferred libraries, and librarians, but in the modern age, such as it is, a bookstore will do just fine. Most of the bookstores I frequent offer a couple of advantages, like, a coffee shop, a perhaps a beverage service, usually no waitperson, but still. And at a bookstore, should I get tempted to write something in a book, I can then purchase that book. Libraries are notoriously finicky about people borrowing the books for longer than two weeks. Now, to a Gemini, two weeks is more than enough time to do anything. However, I’m sticking to a suggestion of trekking to a bookstore and looking around. In that very Gemini manner, ask a few question. Look at the patrons. Look at the books the patrons are looking at. Think about an upcoming project and look for titles on that subject. Then check the back of the book for references about titles on that title. Going in to do a little research is like standing at the base of an old oak tree. You can follow any branch, once you start to shimmy up the trunk. Go out on any limb, and see what you can find. Each branch goes off in another direction. You’re thirsty for knowledge, go ahead and check out the magazine rack, too.
Cancer: One of my Cancer buddies gets credit for digging up that opening quote. It has more to do with his own misfortune than the rest of the week for everybody else. Turns out he was seeing a girl who was, in turn, seeing several guys all at the same time. In my own way, I found that amusing, as she was doing what most guys dream about doing. Only, my buddy was none too pleased with the whole scene. In this one case, he was an unwitting player in someone else’s larger drama. Don’t you just hate it when that happens? Don’t you just regret it when some guy writes about it? The deal is, me, and about 18 of our mutual friends, all told this one Cancer guy what was going on. Never, ever underestimate the power of denial. It wasn’t until he was unhappily confronted with irrevocable evidence that he changed something. Now, your specific situation doesn’t have to be nearly as unhappy as my buddy. But when several people all start telling you something, it wouldn’t hurt to take a long and hard gander at your denial mechanism before you get yourself stuck someplace you don’t want to be.
Leo: Ever argue with a Leo? It’s a fruitless task. It’s not something that I’m ever planning to do, ever again. Period. No more. Got my butt kicked in enough, as it is. And arguing with a Leo is a good way to get one’s self stomped. Just doesn’t work. Why would I be telling you about arguing with a Leo? I’ve found a way to successfully argue with one. I’ve got a secret, and your Leo self might want to try it. You’d be surprised how well this works, too. The last Leo I argued with, I waited until she slammed the trailer’s door, fired up her truck, spit gravel all over the driveway, and then summarily got out of here in hurry. When I was sure that she was a good half-mile away, then I unleashed my tongue and let her have it. I said those things that I’d meant to say, the witty riposte, the point-by-point analysis about where the flaws in her logic lay, all that kind of diatribe. After she was long gone and far away. Much safer. Saved my sanity. Probably saved my hide, too. So take a tip from me: you’re right, and you want to let them all know where they’ve been misguided. Sometimes, though, it’s a lot better to hold that for a little while and wait until your target is long out of earshot.
Virgo: I was reading about a particular Scottish Saint, and this one was associated with virginity. She was so worried about maintaining her position as a “bride of Christ” that she plucked out her own eyeballs to thwart a would-be, hot-blooded suitor. To me, that’s just so scary on so many different levels that I cant even begin to cover the fright. I couldn’t independently confirm the story either, but I’m sure some kindly soul will look it all up in a big book of Scottish Saints, and get back to me about the whole story. I could also have the tale wrong, as some of my sources are a little dubious. What I was wondering, though, about the extreme nature of the actions the soon-to-be-saint took. In an effort to maintain your Virgo credibility, would you go so far as to pluck out your own eyeballs? Surely not. But Mr. Jupiter is doing some things to you, which is making you question reality, and you’re tempted to make an egregious–and irrevocable–decision. Such actions look good in the history books, but in the real world, are you sure you want to make a big sacrifice for glory you won’t get until much later? And I’ve just got to quit reading these scary religious tracts late night.
Libra: Running a website is a costly proposition. There’s a degree of hard work that goes into it, part of the team never gets to see the light of day. There’s all that computer code, someone has to build this stuff. Then I have to write the horoscopes based on actual astrology chart, and those chart have to calculated. Then there’s the guy who prints the bumper stickers, the T-shirts, and so forth. Plus that receptionist, I mean, there’s a lot of work, everyone’s a part of the team around here. A bookkeeper, a weaver, a candlestick maker…. Wait, I’m getting confused. It’s all a part of a team effort. That’s a concept most Libra folks do understand. However, it sure does seem like some of your fellow teammates have been slacking. While being a slacker like me has certain endearing qualities, when it gets to getting the job done, us slackers are thorn in your side. Look: one more week. Just past this coming weekend, the slackers do something you never thought possible, they start helping instead of hindering your forward Libra progress. Good news, right around the corner. But until next week starts, you’re still stuck with one too many slackers, and only your Libra self can pick up our slack.
Scorpio: Slow it all down, baby-doll. “No, I want it NOW!” I feel your pain. I feel your frustration. If I were more of man, I’d offer to handle some of your frustration myself. Alas, I’m not man enough to take care of a good Scorpio like yourself, but there is that sense of overwhelming frustration you’re having. I was watching one of my cohorts at his job. I’d stopped by to pick up a check, and he was incredibly frustrated with the employees in his office. Out of a half dozen people, he felt like he was surrounded by incompetent fools, and everyone else, besides his self, seemed dead set on creating obstacles. I could see [no, I couldn’t actually see this, but I could imagine real easily] the little wheels in his head churning out epithet after epithet about being surrounded by incompetent workers. Like my buddy, you’re finding that your patience is getting tried. You look over the shoulder and your charge is busy forwarding a joke in the email rather than doing anything productive. You groan, “not on my company’s time!” See what I mean? Feel like your surrounded by incompetent idiots? Look: before you go off and harangue these folks, your co-workers and subordinates, consider looking at their records. Work’s done on time. Bills are paid. Notices are posted. Clients are invoiced. It’s all getting done, it just looks like they’re all not working. Stop and look before you jump into the middle of this.
Sagittarius: Flow. Flow is important. I have a lifestyle, one that I’ve worked pretty hard to get to, and I make a lot of what I do look very easy. I was out to have some breakfast, grab a cup of coffee, meet with clients, and check the mailbox for a promised check. I made it all look like I was just, wandering around downtown, with an aimless smile on my face. In fact, I was conducting business on several levels. But the point is, I made it look so easy. It was a rare winter’s day when I could get away with wearing shorts and sandals, so that added to the casual image I portrayed. Like I’ve suggested, I’ve worked very hard to get to a point that I can make work look easy. I didn’t arrive at this way of working overnight. It’s all a matter of timing, patience, and a little bit of thoughtful arranging of priorities. Take a look at your own Sagittarius priorities, and then consider what you can do to get them all in order. Get them in an order that you can live with. That’s the point.
Capricorn: A trailer in Shady Acres came up for rent, not long ago. First of the year, I think. Still vacant, now. One of my dear Capricorn friends was thinking about renting it, as it looked like a good deal to her: rent was cheap, location was primo. Problem? She has too much stuff. She couldn’t fit her fitness gear, her scuba equipment and her treadmill al into the small space in that trailer. “And there’s just not enough closet space, either,” she moaned, “where would I put all my clothes?” That fitness gear goes all but unused these days, and the only person on the treadmill is her cat, and the rest of the outdoor equipment could all be stored in a rented storage unit. But the rental on that “leased closet space” down the street, plus the rent for the trailer itself is about what she pays for an apartment. In other words, that great money saving idea wasn’t that great of a deal. The only advantage is that she would be closer to me; however, many of my neighbors will concur, that might not be an attractive proposition, in and of itself. Time to examine all the little aspects of your own great, money-saving ideas. Look at the rest of the solution before you embark on saving that cash.
Aquarius: I was searching for a perfect example to explain the next couple of days in Aquarius, and I was stumped. I looked at the clock and realized I had meeting to attend, so I hopped in the shower. The warm water, running down my body, the way it felt with all that liquid splashing over me, I just felt wonderful. I stayed in the shower a little longer than I should’ve, you know, thinking about dreams and illusions, the way things are, what’s going on, and the fact that I still don’t have a waterproof phone, so I was totally cut off from electronic connections for a moment. For a few minutes. For almost half an hour. While I was relishing the way the hot water felt, washing over my body, streaming through my hair, I forgot all about problems, appointments, ringers and what-all. Then, after about 20 minutes, the hot water started to run out. That sudden blast of cold water shook me up. Woke me up. For a second, I figured the cat had learned how to flush the toilet, and everything would return to its warm, dreamy state. No such luck. Your next couple of days is bound to be like me, in the shower, enjoying the isolation and the comfort of hot water cascading down your body. Suddenly, though, some flushes the toilet, or worse, you flat run out of hot water. Get upset? Just means it’s time to get out of the shower and immerse your self in the real world again.
Pisces: A female friend was asking me, the other day, about her getting breast augmentation surgery. That’s a polite way of saying she wanted a tit job. You know, plastic chest implants. Fake breasts the size of Texas grapefruit. More is not always better, contrary to popular mythology. Or is it? Besides, that kind of question is leaves me wide open for reproach, no matter how I answer it. “Yes” means I’m an insensitive guy who doesn’t appreciate her for her sterling Pisces characteristics, makes me an insensitive, sex-crazed animal, one that is only concerned with appearances. “No,” on the other hand, means I don’t understand how she feels about her own body, and how I just don’t understand the problem–and apparently the ridicule–flat-chested women have to endure. I’m a guy. I try to be sensitive. I try to appreciate the female form in all of her shapes and sizes. But as near as I could tell, there was NO right answer to the question. I was doomed. After much struggling with words, I finally concocted my answer that amounted to, “Whatever you want is perfectly agreeable with me.” I doubt you’ll have to struggle with that very question, but like as not, you’ll have similar question posed to your Pisces self. Work with me here, if there are no right answers, compose a lot of words that basically say, “Whatever you want dear.”
