“Most ungentle fortune [has] place me in this sty.”
Shakespeare’s Pericles [IV.vi.95-6]
Aries: I’ve got to be careful because there’s always an indication that I can get into a period of a little too much self-indulgence. Same type of buzz is going on with Aries, and that influence can be traced right back to Miss Venus, meandering along in your sign. January is a crush for business, for me. Likewise, January was rushed for Aries. Then, February eased on in, and now, it’s getting to the point where you’re sleeping a little later, maybe a little later than you really should. Plus certain sweet foods are more tempting than ever before. It’s like that second cup of coffee in the morning, sometimes, hanging out and just enjoying that second (or even third) cup of coffee is a good idea. Especially when this occurs right the crack of noon. Unfortunately, there are 11 other signs that don’t have a gentle and meandering Venus spreading her good charm throughout their skies. Perchance, gentle Aries, this is time to watch, even consider curbing, your soft-sell approach. Doesn’t hurt to be just a little more pushy, in a nice way, of course. Allow Venus a chance to work her charms.
Taurus: I liked “Kill Bill, volume 1.” I really liked “Once Upon a Time in Mexico.” Both films saw a spike in the cost of various types of red dye. Red coloring materials, especially fluids that are supposed to resemble blood? That stuff runs through those two movies in great quantities. Blood by the bucket. Rivers of red, even. Movies are a form of fiction. In both those films, the raw carnage isn’t real. Nor, for that matter, is it presented as real. It’s all a make-believe story. Movies, especially like those two? They offer us a chance to live vicariously through fiction in order to help purge certain lusty and wanton desires from our system without our Taurus selves having to take any action. In as much as strapping on a sword like Kill Bill or grabbing a guitar case full of small (and medium-sized) arms (Robert Rodriguez trilogy) is great idea, it might not work out here in the real world. However, with Mr. Mars flying and frying through your sign, a good idea would be rent those movies. Or something similar, and enjoy the action.
Gemini: A couple of weeks ago, Bubba Sean wrote about “Mi (adult material) es su (adult material).” The quote itself, immortalized on a website totally unaffiliated with this site, was derived from a computer not doing what it was supposed to do. He was just trying to download picture of a slightly chilly young lady onto his mobile phone. To me, it looked like she’d be warmer if she would put some clothes on. Bubba Sean was working on a backup computer, so it wasn’t any big deal. At least she was smiling, even though it did look like she was rather chilly. So he wanted to put this picture on his phone. Reminded him of some one. Or something. After flipping through various browser screens though, he started to get frustrated. Eventually, in true Gemini fashion, he gave up. He was about to trash the material from the computer, but a phone graphic only takes up a few bytes, and that prompted the quote. I offered my limited tech support skills, but I didn’t understand how the phone company’s site worked. Or how to upload graphic images of chilly women to a phone. Likewise, this is all a function of Mr. Mars, and he’s stirring prurient interests. Plus, there seems to be a certain level of frustration, like, when certain phone companies’ websites don’t respond. What happened that night? Just put it off to deal with later. Or maybe that picture really didn’t belong on his phone.
Cancer: I was listening to open bars of a song. The drum beat introduction, the first couple of beats, it seemed to me that the composer stretched that opening selection out a little longer than was normal. I’d guess, sitting in a recording studio, or wherever, that the composer was tapping the rhythm out, and added just a couple of extra beats to further the anticipation. Kind of like putting a drum solo at the beginning of a song. Not what you’d expect, but that’s not the point. See, what got me thinking about that one song, really, just the song’s introduction, was looking at where Saturn was in your Cancer chart. It’s about getting ready, and getting ready for something big. Saturn’s not always nice, but he can be managed, if you get in enough of a foundation. With that song, the drum beat (drum machine, probably) was just laying out a pattern that was going to be repeated. Like that beat, that rhythm, your Cancer self can be preparing for Saturn. Might stretch that intro out a few extra bars, just to make sure the pattern is correctly instilled.
Leo: There’s always ONE Leo who just assumes that none of my horoscopes are intended for her at all. When I looked at where Mr. Mars was, relative to that beautiful Leo, though, I couldn’t help but come up with a little warning about irascible behaviors. Deal is that situation wherein your Leo self has to make a stand. Some days, you have to stand up for what is right. Can’t fault that. The problem is that you’re going to tend towards being a little vengeful about how you stand up for what is right. “You doubt me?” Doubting a Leo’s judgment is almost as serious as calling that same Leo a bad name. Here’s the tip: watch the part where you raise your Leo voice. That’s the trick. As soon as you hear decibels start climb, you know it’s time to call a halt to the proceedings. Give yourself a time out. Mr. Mars, he promises that you absolutely correct. That’s the good news. Raising your pretty Leo voice? That’s not going to win the argument.
Virgo: I’ve got a small windowsill planter, inside the kitchen’s window, here at the trailer at Shady Acres. There are two plants in it, along with a couple of pretty rocks. Those plants struggled through the winter, and now that spring is about to be here, they’re both doing well. Sort of, anyway. One plant is Mint, and the other is sprig of Rosemary. It’s taken almost two years to get that Rosemary to grow. I was raising the kitchen blinds the other evening, and I could sense that aromatic herb smell from the plants. I remember when I planted those guys, too. Took three tries to get some of that Rosemary to grow. Here it is, a year later, and it’s doing pretty well — exceptionally well if you consider it shares a kitchen with me. Over the course of time, almost a year so far, I’ve tended and pampered those plants. Finally, a few months ago, I started to ignore them, remembering to water them only when I was awake, alert, and mindful of such matters. Like, maybe once a week. However, those plants have thrived on abuse. Plus, some good winter sunlight, streaming in the through the kitchen window. The whole point of this is the fact that those plants took almost a full year to grow up and be something that smells nice, looks good. Patience, friend Virgo, some things take a little time and a modicum of neglect.
Libra: I’ve never claimed to be objective. Never been one of my strengths. I’m of the “firmly insert feet into mouth” school of chatter. Way it goes. So this is little bit like I’m preaching with this, but I’m exhorting your good Libra self to exercise a tad of self-restraint. Just a smidgeon, just for a second. Think. Think twice. Then go ahead a and leap, if you so desire, but make sure that the jump is one you really want to make. I was thinking about this when I was weighing a purchase. A piece of fishing equipment that I thought I needed desperately. Something happened, I got waylaid, and when I came back to make that purchase, I found that my objective view of the purchase had changed. It wasn’t an item that I really needed. I thought I did, but then, a little later, I realized I was just adding more clutter to an already tiny space. No need ot do that. No, I don’t need another tacklebox. But it was only after a diversion that I had chance to be more reflective, if not objective, about the decision process. If you can’t be objective, at least buy a little time. I’m waiting on Venus to slide on out of Aries, and you’ll find that objectivity comes back to Libra-land.
Scorpio: Listening is an important skill. Listening and paying attention is even a more important skill. Listening, paying attention and taking notes is even more critical because it gives you fodder to throw back in the person’s face. The deal is, you have to make sure that you’re listening closely to what’s being said. Mars is opposite you, over yonder in Taurus. Neptune is sliding along in Aquarius. An astute observer would note that there’s a hint of subtle misdirection going on, between the influences of these two planets. That’s why, in my list of suggestions, I included “taking notes” as a final point. Just trusting your usually rather good memory, in the next couple of days? Not a good idea. The deal is, like those song lyrics that get misquoted all the time? You might want to double check your facts before you try and throw something back in our non-Scorpio faces. Mars over yonder makes you a little irritable, and there’s no need to let this also cause confusion. What’s worse, if you depend solely on your own memory, which is usually very good, you might get some part of the verse wrong. It happens.
Sagittarius: “Dude, like, you know, your horoscopes don’t sound like you’re writing them these days.” That’s weird. Just plain strange, I mean, if I’m not doing this, then who is? It was an exchange, at one point, last month, and I was finding it a tad odd, as I felt like the scopes were really coming along nicely. Still having problems with good help around here, and finding decent copy-editor has proven impossible. But being a closeted control freak, it doesn’t worry me too much because, I’m the one in control and therefore, I get to sign off on everything. But looking at the planets, it reminded me of exchange last Xmas. There was a Gemini scope I was particularly proud of. On Xmas day, I made sure my family got to see that one scope. None of them were impressed, more along the lines of, “That’s nice, Kramer, so anyway, about this Mercury deal….” I can’t say that my pain, frustration or just lack of compassionate family members is going to be problem for everyone. However, like as not, you will have a brilliant (I think it’s brilliant — you think it’s brilliant, ergo, it is brilliant) idea. You sail that idea out there. No one salutes. Or even notices. It’s just the planets, and they’re just having a bit of fun. You’re noticed, just not in the way you expect to be.
Capricorn: I was walking home late, last month, from meeting a couple of clients. I was behind a set of apartments, on my way home, and I noticed what I took to be familiar figure, a big, fat house cat, lounging in the street. I snickered in fashion that usually gets a fat house cat’s attention, a task I’m rather familiar with. The critter took one look at me and high-tailed it on out there. It wasn’t until I got a good look at the face of the creature that I realized my mistake. It wasn’t a domestic feline; it was an undomesticated raccoon. Bandito mask across the face. Still, the way it waddled and moved, I was sure it was cat at first glance. I chuckled a little at my mistake and kept on going. It was well-after dark, so no one saw my mistake. And if no one sees then it doesn’t matter at all. The deal is, two medium size objects are orbiting (or transiting) through compatible earth signs (Mars in Taurus, Jupiter in Virgo). That’s good for you. But due to the slippery nature of, well, nature, you can be mistaken with a simple task of taxonomy. My example was particularly poignant because there was that little “fooled you” moment and then a pleasant surprise. Not at all bad. Didn’t turn out to be what I thought it was, but it wasn’t bad event. Just different. Careful with mistaken identities. And please, don’t feed the raccoons, as the sign suggests.
Aquarius: I couldn’t shake a certain musical refrain when I looked at the Aquarius chart, and I kept coming back to a certain set of lyrics, sampling that lick, over and over, in my mind, “Should I stay or should I go?” (The Clash) Might date me, or might means something different to an individual Aquarius. Cold refer to a number of questions. Leaving town, leaving a boyfriend (or girlfriend), spouse, mate, children, insignificant other, whatever. Or it could simply refer to a change in location, as in moving to a new place. New house, home, trailer, or just renting a spot in Shady Acres and parking your Aquarius self here. I like that idea, but the place is all booked up these days. I think. Cheap housing comes at a premium when premium housing is cheap. Did that even make sense? Sure it did. When you’re confused like this? My advice? Do nothing. Weigh out the options. Look at the pluses and minuses on both sides of the question. Know what? There is no right answer, not this week. Weighing the decision process, though, the more you examine the problem, the more you find this is like one of those weeds with roots that just keep going and going and going. Sometimes, a firm, resolute “maybe” is the best answer.
Pisces: Pisces time is swinging into full motion party time. Along with that, there’s the added bonus of having Mercury in your sign. This works two ways, Mr. Mercury, see, he’s going to heat up the mental process in the Pisces brain, that’s good, and going to make you talk a lot, that, well, it can be good, but it can also come as a deterrent to folks who aren’t used to a Pisces that talks that much. It’s the whole up-side, down-side, seesaw action in the land of the best Mutable Water sign ever. Some folks you encounter, let’s say it’s a non-Pisces, they don’t get the voluble (and valuable) torrent of words that you can produce. Sometimes, too, there’s not really a point to the volume of information that you’re trying to get across. Something times, it’s just words. Nice words, to be sure, but just empty words. Or cute way of saying it, but the substance seems to be lacking. I’m not about to pass any kind of judgment on some poor Pisces who gets picked on for using too many words to communicate an idea. But — even though it’s your birthday time — watch the vocal delivery of information. Otherwise? Hey, my fine Pisces friend, party on.
