“Season your admiration for a while.”
Shakespeare’s Hamlet [I.ii.192]
Aries: “I’ve got to get some ‘lemonade’ for the truck.” What? “Not really lemonade, it’s more like a lime drink, you know, the stuff that looks like a melted frozen margarita?” I still had that blank look on my face, quizzical, even. Obviously, I failed to understand what my Aries buddy was trying to explain. “Coolant, dude, you know? Antifreeze?” Suddenly, it was all clear. Bubba wasn’t going to be putting some carbonated beverage into his vehicle’s gas tank, it was just a form of verbal shorthand for a different subject. But look at how long it took me to catch on. Know the problem? Dumbfounded and apparently clueless folks don’t quite “get it” when you make a cool, passing reference or comment? The shorthand then has to explicated in length and ad nauseam? That’s a problem. Doesn’t have to get your Aries self riled up, though. Just because we don’t understand what you’re trying to get across, that doesn’t mean that you have to worry about it.
Taurus: Let’s look at a few astrological points. One, it’s your birthday time. Two, we’ve been dealing with a Mercury situation, and that’s not been a great deal of fun. Three, the last year, if we allow for degrees of introspection, has been strange enough to last for a lifetime. Conclusions? Life turned around, upside down, then right side back up. I was in a Bass Fishing shop, and I was looking around to see what was for sale. I didn’t really need anything, but seeing as how I was hoping to be on the lake and fishing this coming weekend, I was looking to see what was there. First place I check is the “special sale” table. I take a good, long look at what’s on the sale table: this is product that no one else buys. Why don’t they buy these baits, these lures, or this hardware? It’s usually because other fishermen, through trial and error, have determined that this gear doesn’t work on area lakes. Pay attention. That equipment is marked down because the color is wrong, the flavor isn’t right for the local fish, or some other arcane variable of fish tastes. From there, I meander around the other aisles, and see what does work. Look for the product that seems to be selling a lot. Perhaps the sale table in a fishing store isn’t the best place to have a moment of introspection, but take whatever you can.
Gemini: I was listening to some rather dated material the other morning: 80’s music. While some of it is pretty good, there’s a huge catalog of music that should be forgotten. Some of this material is really dated. The musical styles, popular at that time, just don’t quite withstand the ravages of time. There are numerous examples of “one hit wonders” with their single, musically brilliant, or in some cases, lyrically amusing, single hit. But the rest of the album? The rest of the material? The rest of that whole generation of material? Is it really worthy of being put on file someplace? These are important questions, and while the preferred demographic for Fishing Guide to the Stars is too young to even remember that classic material the first time around, for some of us, and I’m thinking in the Gemini camp here, we can recall some of that older music. What is history going to do to the Gemini? I’m not looking at a long period of time, either, I’m looking at a much shorter period. I’m not suggesting you consider what’s important a hundred years from now, but how about ten years? What important? What’s really important? And what really moves your soul these days? Will it still move your soul in a decade?
Cancer: The other afternoon, I was shopping before fishing. I was standing in the aisle of a big sporting goods store, and I noticed another fisherman, tight, grungy Wranglers, can of dip in his back pocket, dirty cell phone holster swinging from his hip, a “Copenhagen” hat bent and shoved onto his head, nicer and tight. What was odd, he was pushing cart, a new big tackle box in it, and he was just grabbing a ton of new gear. “Boat sunk last weekend,” he started telling me, “a water moccasin got in the boat and my buddy shot it with a .357 magnum. Sank the boat, too.” “Piscivorus Leucostoma” is the Latin name for the typical local critter, related to other pit vipers like a Copperhead and a Rattlesnake. Most snakes run away. Cottonmouth? He’ll stand and fight. They are just plain mean. However, if I was in situation, where a cottonmouth was approaching the boat, I’d just motor off in another direction. There are times, places and situations where a fight is justified. Other times and places? Like using a huge sidearm to take a small snake? That’s called overkill. Sunk the boat, too, apparently. Suggestions? I figure it’s really a lot more manly to run away and save the boat rather than unloading a cylinder of shells and consequently sinking the boat, too. Back in the water? The cottonmouth might be dead, but you know, he could have brethren.
Leo: Stop worrying. It’s not nearly as bad as that one little voice in the back of your magnificent Leo head will have you believe. Spring mornings, when it’s not too warm, I like to leave the doors and windows open to “air the place out” — do something to help dissipate that pent up feeling left over from a long winter. Or short winter. Or shorts winter, as I tend to wear shorts as often as possible — even in the winter. Typically, and it happens about once a week, some fly (Musca Domesticus) wanders in and somehow finds itself trapped here. The cat used to make great sport of this, but in her dotage these days, she just can’t be bothered. That fly, it’s annoying to me, but the amount of effort required to chase it down and shoo it back outside, or try and squash it? Not worth the effort at all. So that fly is like the voice singular voice in the back of your head. And Leo? You’re like the cat, you just can’t be bothered to expend the energy to chase that fly down. It’s not worth it. Me? I’m not Leo. But I’m not going to bother trying to chase that critter down. I’ve found that catching a fly isn’t worth the amount of effort that I have to put into it, even though this is a rather small place.
Virgo: I remember this happening before. It was like a dream. A buddy of mine had neglected to pay a few traffic tickets, and he was motoring around without a valid inspection sticker, which then, obviously, eventually, and ultimately, resulted in him spending an evening in the confines of the local constabulary institution. He went to jail pending someone digging up the cash for his release. I was talking to him afterwards, the old jail was conveniently located close to a street with several drinking establishments. “So there I was, ‘hey, don’t I get a phone call?’ The bored looking desk person looked up at me, ‘Yes, you get one call, but wait, if you switch to our new plan you get long distance at only three cents per minutes, and you get unlimited local calls…’ Just weird, you know?” Not what you’d expect. I can’t vouch for the veracity of his statements, either. While it makes an amusing story, never let the fact interfere with a story. It’s possible to be either one of the players in this situation, the jailbird or the benevolent bail-producing buddy, but make sure you’ve got a good tale to tell. You have an ability to take a questionable situation and turn it to your advantage. Do so.
Libra: I was working with some friends at a local, outdoor event. Tear down is familiar time for me. I’ve trimmed what I do to a minimum, so when I’m loading out, I fold up a computer, a tablecloth, and I’m ready to roll. At this event, I was just helping act as a local roadie, though, and I was stuck with a few extra duties, mostly involving security and making sure the thousands of patrons made it out of the gate intact. Once they were gone, those folks were no longer our liability. One inebriated young lady was rather amusing. Bereft of common sense, she was being escorted by two friends, “But he said I could have it! I want it! I can put it in my back yard. Or on the patio! Please! Let me get it!” She was referring to a large, inflatable beer bottle, one of those items that shows up at events, a promotional item, placed there by the sponsors. I’m guess that the big bottle was at least ten feet in diameter, and at least thirty feet tall. “No, you cannot take it home with you,” her friends assured her. “But….” and she was gently coerced out of the gate. I stopped and thought about that. What would you do with an inflatable bottle that size, in your backyard? You’re going to be seized by a great idea in the next few days. Before you act on that idea, though, think it all the way through. What would you do with a huge marketing tool on the patio? What would the neighbors say?
Scorpio: I listen to my clients. Surprises them sometimes, they don’t expect me to repeat back something they’ve previously mentioned to me. I was working with a Scorpio lass, on the phone, and she was doing the usual litany of complaints about her significant other. Or lack of a significant other, as the case might be. I just reminded her about something that she once told me, “If you’re going to all the trouble to get a boyfriend, at least get a pretty one.” This one client’s situation, it’s not at all unlike what your Scorpio self is going through. I can see at least one Scorpio lad rolling his eyes at me, too, “I am SO not going to get a boyfriend!” But as long as you’re making decision, think about it. It’s just as easy to get a visually appealing, within your personal bounds of taste, pretty one, as it is to get anything. Get one that you are willing to spend time with. Get one that you like. Or, get one that, at the very least, you like to look at.
Sagittarius: A friend of mine works at a State job these days. Easy gig, low pay, great benefits. “It’s the state, no one expects anything done quickly,” he was telling me. He went on to expound on a theory as to why he had so much crap in his cubicle. “Japanese, man, ask them, they say, ‘Don’t kill the crazy one.’ So I’m doing my best to be the crazy one.” To this end, there are pictures culled from various hunting magazines, a “Trophy Hunters of Texas” sticker plus a “Vegans for Democracy” bumper sticker. From the visual clues, one would have to draw the conclusion that this guy was just plain nuts. Sagittarius, he might just be. Or, between you and me, his wily Sagittarius ways, each of those causes might reflect a single aspect to his personality. I can understand a PETA sticker next to a picture of a guy holding up a dead deer. Besides, more than anything else, this guy is guaranteeing his paycheck. Makes it easy. You can just see his performance review, “He’s a creative type.” The message is simple, don’t be afraid to be a little outlandish, don’t be afraid to combine elements that apparently don’t belong together. Personally, I tend towards a slightly more subtle route myself, plaid shorts and Hawaiian shirts, but that’s just me — I don’t work for the State.
Capricorn: Working outdoor events can be entertaining. I was standing in the lost and found. Woman wanders up, “I lost my husband.” In unison, three of us behind the table ask, “Are you sure you want him back?” “Well, yes,” she shrugged, “he’s got the money today.” She looked a little apologetic. “We can announce it from the main stage, if you’d like,” one of the girls suggested, grabbing a walkie-talkie. “Oh no, won’t do any good. He took his hearing aids out — music was too loud.” Giggles. “If you see an old man wandering around, just get him to stay put for a little, I’ll check back.” Mars is moving opposite you, along with Saturn, already in a position that opposes your sun sign. Saturn, for you, can be quite good, if you engage the energy. Mars, though, he’s like those three people behind the counter at the lost and found, “Are you sure you want him back?” Just because a couple of folks try and have a little fun at your expense and discomfort, that doesn’t mean that it’s not humorous situation. Laugh with us, then go on and realize that sometimes, the people who claim they’re “here to help,” some of the=hose folks are not really that helpful. Forgive us our attempts at humor.
Aquarius: it’s a classic scene from just about any downtown district. It’s a humorous anecdote, as long as you’re not the butt of the joke. If you’re blonde, younger, or if you can’t drive, or worse, if you can’t parallel park, then you might want to skip this scope. I was walking, observing humanity, on a spring-like day in downtown Austin, off about my business, when I watched as two — I’m guessing High School age — girls pulled into a parallel spot. They, the driver, didn’t pull up and back in, he she just jutted in at an incorrect angle. Her friend, doing the best she knew how, was busy giving direction, the car would pull forward, she’d crank the wheels all the way over to one side, pull in again, and the passenger would laugh, the driver would get flustered, and there was no hope of that car ever fitting into that spot — except at, like, a 45 degree angle. Or maybe, almost perpendicular to the place it was supposed to fit. Funny, huh? I thought so. A passing homeless guy thought so, too. I’m sure that the driver was not amused. As an Aquarius driver, you have a choice these next few days. If you can’t fit your car into the parking spot, you can provide an impromptu form of entertainment for us passing street people. Like most street Vaudeville theater, a virtual comedy of errors. Better yet, if you’re having problems fitting in that space provided? Maybe just look elsewhere for a more accommodating parking spot. Or situation.
Pisces: I passed a spot on the hike and bike trail, there’s a small retaining wall and then some bushes, and I was looking at some white Morning Glory flowers, a little faded in the afternoon light. Then I noticed two man-made items, one was a pair of plastic hearts strung together with ribbon, with a heart-shaped note attached, “Thanks!” The other item was a thong or T-Back, or bikini, or whatever it’s called now, swimming suit bottom. Might have been underwear for all I know. Lingerie, even. Or something. The bottom part, what little material there was, it was a leopard print pattern. Now, the two items might not be connected at all, the heart note and the underwear. Or they might be intrinsically linked in some manner. My mind took off with a number of stories, but the fact is, I knew nothing about these items, how — if — they were linked. In your Pisces mind, you’re seeing two items, just the same way I had a chance encounter, and you’re wondering, and then, that Pisces mind, it’s making up some pretty good stories about torrid love affairs, physical congress under the Congress Avenue Bridge, and two ships that pass in the night. Can I be any more vague? Probably not. The deal is, without any other supporting evidence, and what evidence was there, wasn’t very supporting, neither of us will know the real truth. It’s okay to make up stories and flights of romantic notions about this kind of vision, but stick to the facts, too.
