“He will be the physician that should be the patient.”
Shakespeare’s Troilus and Cressida [II.iii.214]
Aries: I’ve got Aries friends just trucking all over the place. Going here, going there. Depends on what you call a short trip, too. Where I’m from, it’s not really a big deal to traverse a couple of hundred miles just because you heard that the BBQ was supposedly really good. Or for a legendary burger. Or to see something mighty strange. A little morning run from Austin to Ft. Worth for a meal and then back again isn’t that big of a deal. Or buzz to Dallas, or even Houston for a show, and then to return on the same day. No biggee. But I’m getting tired of trying to keep up with where all the Aries are going, at any given minute. One time, it’s over yonder, then next day up there, and the day after that, it’s over there. Over a hundred miles but less than, say three hundred miles, that’s not really a far trip. Your mileage might vary, as will your own definition of what “far” and “near” might constitute. But you’re just all over the place.
Taurus: I was taking some coffee grounds out to the “garden” such as it is, and one of my neighbors spied me. “What are you doing?” Standard query, I suppose. Standard response, “just watering the plant….” With coffee grounds? To my neighbor, it looked like I was leaving food-related trash outside in my little garden. It’s not like it’s a real garden plot or anything, it’s just a couple of big pots with various hearty herbs, and other plants I can’t kill, growing there. What else is in there? A portion of the litter box, but not too much, as I don’t want the garden attracting other fans, some cigar butts, a time or two when I swept the place out, I would just dump the dustpan into the pot, too. I like to think f it as an ongoing recycling project. But being caught — red-handed — dumping something that, according to that neighbor, belonged in the dumpster, that was a sin. It took a little talking, but I pointed out how well the mint was doing, and that this was thrice used coffee, so it wasn’t like it was going to smell bad — if at all. I donated a little mint, a little rosemary as offerings, and that seemed to work. Be prepared to make similar gestures to keep the peace in the land of Taurus.
Gemini: There’s a day of reckoning that is fast approaching. I had this one client, a Gemini, and she gave her boyfriend an ultimatum. Move forward with the relationship or call it quits. As a guy, when I’m faced with a similar female making similar demand, I just do my best imitation of crab and walk sideways until I’m someplace where she can hit me. Of course, that’s just my personal reaction to such a demand. In your Gemini world, you’re in a situation where you’re just sure that this week, right now, is the time to give that ultimatum. I’m not sure it’s a girlfriend/boyfriend/mate/spouse or whomever, but I’m pretty sure that something is building up in your head. A Gemini grain is a wonderful thing, but not many people understand how it works. All I’m going to suggest, though, is that you put this ultimatum off for a week or so. Maybe two weeks. “But I’ll forget all about it then!” is the common complaint. However, that might be the idea.
Cancer: This about the last week of Cancer, so we’re going to wrap up the last of the birthday wishes. And there are lots of birthday wishes. On a global scale, there’s always that desire for world peace. On a local scale, there’s always proper amount of rain to make sure the crops come in. On a personal scale, I’m just hoping that I can go fishing next weekend, and maybe, even though it’s the dog days of summer, I could catch something of note. So the wishes go from the cosmic down to the microscopic, in terms of importance. There’s a send-off this week, too, as we’re launching some new Cancer ideas. Part of this is stuff that’s left over from years gone by, and part of it is new material. I’d suggest, in a long, lonely moment, that you’re seeing a way to deal with something that really has its roots in the past, but I’m pretty sure that you’ve got a new way to go about solving this problem. All I can suggest is that you “be not afraid.”
Leo: This weekend holds some unsettling surprises. Rather than just promise everything is going to be wonderful, let me warn you about what might transpire. I have the e-mails, dutiful stored, proof that I did adhere to the time and letter of the meeting. However, somehow, beyond normal (at least, normal to me) comprehension, that message got twisted around. The mail plainly picked a date, a time and a location. I was there. My fine Leo friend was cross-town, I suspect, napping, for our appointed meeting. For me, or for you, it’s rather disconcerting. Big problem or little problem? Woe be unto the individual that stands up a Leo, as that is a big problem. However, in this case, I wasn’t the one, as I was the person who got stood up. In my situation, I look at the chart, think, “Hmm, mighty Leo,” and I start by accepting that I might have been wrong. Works like a charm. We reschedule, and it’s all good. However, not everyone you deal with is willing to deal with you in that way. Particularly this weekend. Just a warning, in case you have to deal with astrologically-challenged individuals.
Virgo: I walked into a favorite BBQ place, a joint I hadn’t been to in a while, and the first waitress looked up at me, waved her hand, “Sit wherever, you know the routine.” No “glad to see you’re back,” no triumphal return of the prodigal astrologer, nothing like. No one was missing me, not even the cash flow. Either I’m not that important as a customer, or I’m not that memorable, or, the time in between my visits wasn’t noticed. I’d suspect the last one, myself. It is nice to slide into a place and be recognized, even if the place is only a seedy little BBQ joint not far from home. And even though the brisket is generally passing fair, the pork ribs, on certain occasions, are just triumphant masterpieces of the culinary art known locally as BBQ. Without even asking a tub of ice tea appeared at the table, and without so much as a query, I was served what I was going to order anyway. When you encounter a similar situation, when your Virgo self is absent for a spell, and you aren’t greeted by the desired warm reception, don’t get upset. The food arrives, the correct beverage is placed in front of you, and it all starts to work out for the better. You were missed, just no one was willing to admit it. Don’t fret.
Libra: Freakish weather is really enjoyable, at times. A summer’s rainstorm, wherein the puffy clouds darken, get threatening, and let loose with a torrential downfall, that sort of weather reminds me of your chart. There’s a gentle eloquence to the atmosphere at the tail end of the storm. The ozone, the moisture, the thunder boomers roiling overhead, and then almost as soon as it starts, that summer squall is gone. The air feels fresh, refreshed, clean, as if a cosmic hand has swept away all the pollutants, manmade hydrocarbons, dust, pollen, and left only clean air. There’s a summer squall approaching in your chart. Like the one I just walked through, about two weeks ago. It’s not bad, in fact, if you seek a little cover, this summer rain will be over in a manner of minutes. Or hours, sort of depends on a few factors. Once that summer squall is done with you, though, everything in Libra life will feel revitalized. Sure, the rain this coming weekend might be heavy enough to bend a few plants in the garden, but I’m sure you know that the sun is just about to revitalize everything.
Scorpio: A “tropical depression” gathered energy out past Cuba, narrowly missed the Yucatan Peninsula, and picked up steam in the warm waters of the Gulf. Looked like it was going to be a big one. But tropical depressions, the precursor to a full-force hurricane, are very unpredictable. This one headed for the Mexican coastline, stopped, turned north and looked like it was going to blast Texas. By the time the damn thing finally blow up on the shoreline, it was nothing more than a heavy rain with strong winds. Check the weather satellite images to see what it looked like, and check that storms weird path. I’m making a similar prediction for your next couple of days. “Looks like a big one,” is the familiar refrain, “and we’re overdue for a big hurricane in these parts,” again, a familiar observation. Looks like Scorpio should be bracing for a big one, too. The deal is, when that “big one” finally gets to Scorpio-land, don’t be surprised, if like that big one prophesized for our coast, see if it isn’t much more than just a little rain and some strong gusts of hot air.
Sagittarius: Sometimes, you have to make decisions, and sometimes, these are decisions you don’t like. Doing the “right thing” was never easy. On some occasions, it is easiest to do the right thing, but other times, it’s not so easy. I was the messenger, in one such occasion. I was the one voted to accept the position of being the delivery person of bad news. It feel to me to let a buddy of mine know that his girlfriend had been seen in the company of individuals with less than savory reputations. I was voted to be the one who tell “bubba” that his girlfriend was seeing other guys. It’s a tough call. None of our circle of friends had any kind of hard evidence, but the rumors abounded, and the longer poor “bubba” suffered with the delusion that his girlfriend was some kind of an angel, the greater his suffering when the facts revealed themselves. That’s the problem with being a Sagittarius, too, we’re not able to sugarcoat the harsh news. My buddy? He eventual forgave me for being the messenger. So if you’re stuck with pointing out the obvious, and having a few people get upset that you pointed out the truth, just remember, you’ll — eventually — be forgiven.
Capricorn: A Capricorn buddy of mine is a freelance person. No specific title, just works when clients call. I’ll be hearing from this Capricorn, several times in the next few days, sure as can be. There will be cancellations, appointments set for next month, at least two “no shows,” and bevy of other, similar complaints. In other words, no work. That’s the problem with 100% freelance. No work means no work. And, worse yet, no income. For just such exigencies in my own life, I try to keep a little stash of cash, set aside, for weeks when there’s not a lot of work. Plus, there’s always chores to be attended to, as well. Been meaning to clean out the closet. Been meaning to do something with all that crap stuck under the kitchen sink. So now that there’s lots of Capricorn energy, but not a lot of actual, paying work, consider some of the options. Besides, from my own experience, I can suggest that work, money, and income all tend to bounce back. Nature abhors a vacuum, and something will pop in to fill the void.
Aquarius: I tried warning you about this last week, and I’m not sure you listened well. I’m not warning you again, either. Mars opposes Neptune during the weekend, and that makes for some rather uncomfortable energy. The two planets are basically incompatible with each other. Mars, in opposition to your Aquarius planets, then to make this even more interesting, from my point of view, Mars will also oppose Neptune for a few days. Watery Neptune. Elusive Neptune. Spacey Neptune. Mars, “Man of Action.” I’d suggest you take it easy, but Mars and Neptune will conspire to give all kinds of great ideas. Wonderful energy, too, only, this new-found energy will probably lack direction. I’ve always admired the noble and idealistic background of the Aquarius mind. Works well, usually. The problem being, what with this unusual alignment, it gets you all worked up in one direction, and I’m not complaining, just suggesting, that your direction might be a little off. I vividly recall, sitting shotgun in an Aquarius truck, facing into the setting sun, and the Aquarius driver was pointedly suggesting that we were heading in an easterly direction. Setting sun. Sun sets in the west. I’m aware enough of astrological portents to understand that when that situation occurs this next couple of days, it’s not me, it’s my excellent Aquarius navigator, a little confused about words. East, West, the words sound similar. And maybe we needed to have to setting sun at our back to get where we were supposed to be. I’m not going to quibble about details, but I’d suggest you check your facts before placing a setting sun in the east.
Pisces: I’ve watched this sort set-up before, and I would estimate that the best course of action of would to settle down, settle in, and get ready for a weird weekend. Reminds me of a local theater, they used to do a thing called “Weird Wednesdays” wherein they would show — for free — some terrible movie, starting at 11:59 PM on Wednesday night. Like a midnight movie, only, it was free. The movies themselves were terrible, freakish things. I mean, this was stuff that would never play even on cable, and everyone knows, cable is sometimes so desperate for content that almost anything can be shown. It’s not that the movies themselves were bad, but in some cases, I went to a few, the movies were rather camp. In other cases, the film themselves were just an exercise in bad taste. Then there were the weird, cult films, too. Horror movies of such shocking ineptitude that the film itself was funny. Not funny in a way it was intended to be, but really amusing in a sordid, “I can’t believe they didn’t clip that” way. I think there was a dinosaur movie with power lines in the background — that kind of thing. Westerns with planes leaving contrails in the visual landscape. So when I suggest this is a weird weekend, I mean it’s strange, but not in a way that you were planning it to be. Those movies? And the crowds attending? That’s what was so much fun. It can be a fun time, the new moon lines up with Saturn in a compatible water sign. But I’d suggest something is going to be inherently funny, just not amusing in a normal way.
