Fishing Guide to the Stars For the Week of: 8/26-9/1/2004

"Saturn and Venus this year in conjunction what says the almanac to that?"
Shakespeare's Henry IV, part two [II.iv]

Aries: Personally, I like cheap cameras best. I've found that cheap cameras can produce remarkable results. I've used those disposable cameras with varying degrees of success, to the point, though, that I can get at least half dozen useful images out of the single roll of camera film. The way it works is like this: I buy a disposable camera at the discount place, take the camera on the road with me, shoot up all the film, and then get it developed onto a picture CD. From there, I'll find about half-dozen raw images that are suitable and useful. The next step is to massage those images in a graphics program, cropping, tweaking, reducing the errant material, and bringing the focal point around to the right place. With digital images, it's easy to erase, add, subtract and reposition the frames. So Mercury is backwards these days? Out of the Aries roll of film for the next week, you're only going to get about half dozen images that are worth keeping. Plus, you're going to have to work on those images to make them worthwhile. Sounds like a lot of work. It is. Sounds like a lot of trouble, too. But in the pursuit of art, there is no time-line. Besides, with Mercury like he is, it's going to take a lot of effort to get to just one image that's really good. Can you do it? Sure. Will it take a lot of extra steps? Sure. Besides, you always wind up with one or two shots that need to be tossed, like a picture of my feet.

Taurus: I got an "E-Invitation" to a friend's party. It wasn't, like a personalized note, it wasn't, at the very least, a blind copy from that guy's personal e-mail list, it was just computer-generated note. Looks like spam, tastes like spam, get treated like spam. I got a call a few days later, "Dude, didn't you get the 'e-invitation'? I thought it was nice, you know, had a map and everything!" And it looked like something that belongs in the fishnet of a spam-filter. I don't like such things. Want to send me an invite? Post it individually, but please, don't use a service. I'll probably never see the note. Good thing my buddy called me up to remind me, too, because if he hadn't, I wouldn't have found out about it. That's the problem for the week. Missed communications because the medium, the method of delivery, chosen by someone else that isn't appropriate for your delicate Taurus tastes. Because of the phase of the moon, I don't want you to miss a good party. Might want to be a little more careful about how you're filtering stuff these days, and this applies to something more than just e-mail.

Gemini: "Do not distract the driver!" It's an admonishment on public transportation someplace. I'm pretty sure I saw it in English, but it might be in Spanish, too. Or French. Personally, I think such a plaque belongs on the dash of every Gemini-operated vehicle. I've ridden with Gemini buddies, Gemini girlfriends, Gemini cab drivers. To the letter, each and every one of them has been a horrible driver, by my standards. Fast, slow, all over the road, gesturing and talking at the same time, makes for a frightening ride for the "none astrologically aware" set. I know my Geminis, though. They can do all of this stuff, and somehow, never hit another car on the road. Red lights seem to be amusing guidelines, and at least one Gemini friend, whose name is not "Bubba," considers a red light, "just kind of pink" for at least two seconds. Can be a terrifying experience to ride with one of these drivers. Given the array of the planets, though, your little guardian angel seems to be on vacation. Or taking a nap. My suggestion? Be a little more careful, and your driving, maybe it's a good time to not to be too distracted while you're on the road. Hang up and drive. Don't distract the driver.

Cancer: In a natal birthchart, when I see a Venus/Saturn conjunction -- like this week's heavens -- I think about a couple of possible interpretations. Old-time astrology suggests that there will always be problems with relationships in this configuration. Or that a mate will be handicapped in some way. Or similar, problematic relationship issues. That's not the way I see it. I tend to interpret this as a lover or partner who is older, more mature, maybe wiser. And there's always the one oddball example, in one case the lover and mate, selfsame, is much younger. But all of these examples are for natal charts. As far as a tone for the week, I'd suggest that a little more structure, maybe a wise mentor who has some experience with the same problems you're dealing with? Maybe reaching out for a little help would actually help. Instead of fighting with a Saturn and Venus alignment, why not use its guidance and suggestions?

Leo: "That's it. Once and for all. I'm cleaning this place out and throwing away ALL the junk." I was listening to a nice Leo girlfriend the other afternoon. She launched on a rant, didn't let up, and I just let 'er rip. All I could do was nod appreciatively. Which doesn't carry, not over the phone. But I know my Leo friends, and I understand what is going on. There's some housecleaning, some housework, actually, it's more like a real spring-cleaning situation, and someone has to do it. It's the end of the summer, and you've acquired one too many dust collectors. Time to take a little inventory of what's there, and maybe unload some of the stuff that you don't really want. Or need. One of the local Leo luminaries made the big move. After living in a trailer park for years and years -- and providing me with good material -- she took it upon herself to buy a house. A real house, in a real neighborhood. She got the deal closed before Mercury was backwards, insuring better fortune. Now it's moving time. Like the other Leo, railing on and on about all the dust collectors, it's a good time to assess what does get moved and what gets to stay. What gets tossed, too. Think about it. I'm lucky that I'm not a Leo this week, because I don't have to sort through and start tossing crap out. But some folks would benefit from doing just that.

Virgo: Fishing is typically pretty poor in the month of August. Not much in the fish department. I'm pretty sure, at that one lake, the water is warmer than the outside air, and I'm pretty sure, it's possible to see those fish crawl out of the lake to pant in the shade, early in the morning. Imagine one fish talk to the other, "Hot enough for you?" Breeding season is over. It's just too hot to do much of anything. Early morning fishing trips are good, but I don't count on catching much -- if anything at all. Doesn't mean I won't go fishing, just means I don't count on the big haul. So one of my fishing buddies, a Virgo, drops me a note, and says, "Let's fish." Sure. Excellent company. The dawn peaks over the hills, and the ruddy texture of morning is reflected in the sky. Then, almost moments later, that cool feeling is gone, and it's hot. Very hot. Late August? Texas? Like "hot" is some kind of a prognostication? It's just a fact. The cool answer is to fish alongside the shoreline, in the shade. Sometimes, that's easy to work out. Other times, like the next few days? Remember that grassy point? Underwater grassy point, actually, and the best position to fish it? Right in the middle of the lake. This is a problem. Doesn't bother me to be stuck in the middle of the lake at 9 in the morning, with the sun searing. But my fine, delicate Virgo friends? Ya'll are going to cook. It's possible to attribute this energy to Mr. Mars. But he's just like setting there on a calm day, and you know that there are fish right where you're at, if you're willing to put up with the heat, you just might be rewarded.

Libra: "I told you so," is a very powerful expression. For the person making the statement, there's more than a hint of resolution, a statement that "yes indeedy - I was right." For the recipient of the statement, there's either a grudging respect, or, more likely, just a grudge. In my not-too-terribly enlightened way of seeing events in life, I tend to feel it's much better to give someone a reason to have grudge against me rather than to carry around that onerous burden myself. "It's always better to give than to receive," would be the motto attached to that concept. Now, think about this: you are going to face a situation, where your best Libra advice is going to be ignored. You can get really upset. You can have tantrum. You can get all worked up and worried, or you can just ignore it for the time being. Remember, it's not your "time" just yet. Will be, shortly. Promise. But until the Sun moves into Libra, late in September, hold off on the "I told you so" routine. There is a great time rapidly approaching for your Libra self. It isn't here yet. You get your just desserts. Just be careful when doling out advice, and admonishments, as some of the folks you're talking to just don't see things your way. Yet.

Scorpio: Halloween babies and tail-end Scorpio charts, you guys are uncomfortable. It's not so much that there's "bad stuff" happening, it's a lot more along the lines of "weird stuff" happening. You get one situation after another, and you take one look at the facts--as they are presented to your Scorpio self--and you think, "Just where did that come from?" The other side of this equation the middle Scorpio charts, for you? Life is easy, as easy as it can be when Mercury is backwards. (Hi Mom!) For your "middle of the road" Scorpio charts, life is okay, if you are willing to adapt to the uncertain behaviors of other signs. But those at the beginning and end of Scorpio? Disparate influences are making life a tad more challenging than you like. To overcome the challenges, I'd like to suggest that you buy yourself a little time. "Let me get back to you on that, my stars are not aligned right now," would be a good phrase to use. Unfortunately, very few project managers are astrologically aware, other than to observe that Scorpio folks tend to be better workers than most. If a Scorpio says a job will be completed, then the job will get done. But that's the problem, too, because somewhere in the middle of Scorpio, there's this one satisfied Scorpio soul whereas the rest of you guys are getting tired of frustrating interruptions. I'd promise a quick resolution to this mess, nothing I like better than a happy Scorpio, but I can't. Try my excuse, see if it works. "Hey, Mercury is retrograde and the rest of the team members are slackers."

Sagittarius: "Man, how come I never hear you complaining?" It was one of my regular readers, and she was concerned that I was always able to dole out advice, but I never complained about the situations in my own life. While I use example and stories from own life, I try to keep my personal life out of a consultation. Usually. Here's what happened, the other morning. Fishing. On the lake. Started off with topwater lures, before the sun was up, then I switched to a Devil's Tongue, basically a brown worm with a bright yellow forked tail. Usually works well. My buddy, whose name is not "Bubba," was using the same. Not much luck. "Switch to a grub, you'll catch something," I told him. He changed to a grub, and "bam," within minutes he'd pulled in a couple of bass. I was still working my Devil's Tongue. No luck for me. If I'd followed my own advice, though, I'd have hit something, probably. So I don't complain, and I frequently don't follow my own advice. And, as such, I suffer the consequences. Like no fish. Consider this as the week unfolds. If you don't take your Sagittarius own advice? Then don't complain. This reminder is being sponsored by Mr. Mercury who is retrograde in Leo.

Capricorn: I was digging through the old tackle box to see if I had anything I could use for a new earring. I've got one topwater plug that has a little "propeller" at the tail-end of the lure. Supposedly, as the lure cuts through the water, the propeller spins, like a beanie with a propeller, and that spinning makes "noise," which then attracts the prey. But those propellers make poor jewelry. What works in the lake, in the water? That's important. But what works as an attracter on land? That's different. While I was considering this, looking at the tackle in its box, I thought about popping the propeller off that one lure. Without the noisemaker on the end? It would be about the right size and shape for an earring. The question, though, would that lure, as an earring, be as effective at attracting what you're looking for? This type of question is worth considering. You're in a situation where you want to attract someone. Or, at least, attract someone's attention. Do you want to modify something that already is a proven tool in one arena, i.e., the lake, and risk that removing the noisemaker will render this item useless, when it's an earring? Maybe you don't dig into a tackle box for jewelry selections. But there are some items you're thinking about modifying, and I'm suggesting that maybe, it's better left alone for the time being.

Aquarius: Early one morning, last week, maybe, I was searching for something to smoke with that first cup of coffee. I opened my humidor and scrounged around, looking for a decent cigar. What I found was a box that was almost empty. No good stuff was left. Or, at least, nothing that I thought would be any good. But a decent cigar, not one of those cheap ones, holds up over time. I discovered cigar left over from five, six, maybe even seven years ago. I'd had a box of these, and they were pretty good for a cheap, off-brand cigar. Plus, the remnants? They'd been sitting in the bottom of the humidor for years. I did the ritual, clipping, ignition procedure and all, and that cigar turned out to be even better with age. I suspect that it sat next to a few good cigars and that helped. Plus time, temperature and the right humidity, all those factors must be weighed. Some things mellow with age, improve. Instead of running off to the store to buy something "new and improved," consider digging through your old stash of smokes and seeing what's there. All right, very few Aquarius folks will be cigar lovers, and even fewer will have a desktop humidor like I do. That's not the point. It's about going back through old material and seeing what can be resurrected, find a few gems in the old mineshaft of life. Or, at the very least, something decent to go with your morning coffee. I was surprised at the good quality and judgment I'd had years ago. You could be, too. No, not surprised at my good judgment, be surprised at your own good judgment.

Pisces: Get out. Go for a walk. Take a hike. Grab a buddy and head out to the lake for a little early morning fishing. Just do something. I'm not really going to be more specific than that, but some kind of physical activity is all but required with the way things are going "land of Pisces." Or in the Pisces Lake, which would probably be a better term. After several frustrating rounds of spurious correspondence, you're getting a little too tense. It's less problematic for you and more problematic for the other folks, but after having so many folks stop by just to dump crap on your sweet Pisces self, you start thinking about it. After swimming around in other folks' problems, you begin to wonder if it is you? We're back to the Mars equation, and the best solution to recalcitrant Mars energy (he's opposite you in Virgo), is to put an equal sign at the end of the Mars question. That equal signs leads to activity. Get away from the computer, fax machine, cell phone, voice mail, e-mail, regular postal mail, get out. If you punch a clock? Then punch out at quitting time and leave it all behind. What works around here is a good soak in Barton Creek. Unless you're actually in Austin, and you're used to cold water, then that soak might not be a good idea, but the try the idea. I can stand about 20 minutes, max, in that water. But I feel refreshed. And there are no cell phones, pagers, portable e-mail devices that I know of, that can reach me in the middle of the creek. Get out, get away, even if it's only for a few minutes. Mars = activity. Do what you must, but I've found a refreshing swim helps my fish.

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Kramer Wetzel

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