“My mistress with a monster is in love.”
Shakespeare’s A Midsummer Night’s Dream [III.ii.6]
(Always love that bit from Midsummer Night’s Dream.)
Aries: I was flipping through some cartoons the other day, the printed version, possibly online, but more likely in a newspaper I’d picked up. There’s this one familiar cartoon cat, and unlike the real world, this cartoon cat lives with an affectionate dog. In that one strip, what was happening was that the dog was lavishing its affection on the cat. The cat was none too happy. Near as I can tell, cats and dogs are mortal enemies, from the distant past, probably into the future. However, in a fictional world, dogs and cats can co-exist in a happy state. Of course, this was a comic, and it was for entertainment purposes, so it was illustrating a happy dog hugging or licking or otherwise being kind to the cat. Fiction, pure and simple. In a comic, the way the cat was responded was strictly non-verbal, with a little black squiggle over its head, a frown on the comic cat face. I’ve never seen a real cat frown, but I have heard a real cat express displeasure. Or make a lot of hissing noises when a dog is present. Even if the dog is cat-friendly. In this comic page scenario, the way I see it, your Aries self is the cat. Someone else, perhaps a real dog, is displaying signs of affection. I’m pretty sure you’re not happy about this. But if you were outside of yourself? You know what it looks like to the rest of us? Just like that comic strip. Mars is starting a six-week stint in Libra, opposite you. Get used to us lavishing attention on you. When — and where — you might not like it.
Taurus: There’s a stifling type of mental work that can infuse your day-to-day activities. I’ve heard it called, “Paralysis by analysis.” That’s what I’d warn you about for the next couple of days. “The common phrase, “Let’s stop and think about this for a moment,” is the problem. Stopping and thinking is usually a good idea. But spending too much time thinking about what to do is the problem. I’ve never seen this scene in the fishing boat, but I can imagine it happening, something like this, “I think I’ll use a (Zara) Spook.” And the guy starts to attach that lure to his line. “No, I think I’ll toss a Rattle Trap.” So he undoes the first selection and starts to attach another one. In the meantime, the guy at the other end of the boat has made a few casts with a tried and true plastic worm. Got one strike, and is headed for more. Another cast. “No, I’d better switch to some crankbait.” At this point, our poor Taurus still hasn’t even wet his line, and the other guy in the boat is doing quite well, two strikes, and headed for a good hook set in any minute. Sometimes, “thinking about it,” takes up too much valuable time, when you could just be fishing. With whatever you’ve got.
Gemini: In my ongoing battle with flying vermin, I made an astute observation, just the other day. I was unable to catch this one fly, the only one in the trailer, and I was getting tired of chasing it around. Since I couldn’t swat it, I decided that it was sign from the heavens that I should just let it be, maybe just shoo it out the door. I opened up the screen door, and proceeded to act in a menacing manner in order to herd that single fly out the door. While my back was turned to the open — now unscreened — doorway, another three flies came rushing in. Fortunately, I’m a pretty clean person, even for a single male, and as such, I know that those three flies won’t find much — if anything — to dine upon. Judging by the fly corpse accumulating in the kitchen window, there really isn’t much hope in the long run for the survival of the vermin, but in the short run, these guys can be pretty annoying. While I fixed one problem, three more problems came rushing in. I’m sure you’re familiar with the way this situation feels. I’m not sure your problem, the problems in the land of Gemini, are going to be flying insects that can carry diseases, but troubles usually are more bothersome than troublesome. Solution? Sometimes, there is no solution. Afterwards, I thought to myself, “Self, that really wasn’t worth the effort.” You might be faced with a similar kind of problem — just make sure that your solution doesn’t bring about three times as many more problems.
Cancer: I was wandering out of the trailer, onto the gravel drive, and up a ways toward to pavement and Barton Springs Road. Middle of the afternoon, sun was out. A guy whips into the restaurant’s parking lot next door, and he was in a sporty little car, top down. That car costs more than any two trailers here in Shady Acres. Car alone is worth twice what I’ll make in a year. Maybe three times as much. That car represents something to that driver. Now me? I hadn’t worn a shirt all day, barley slipped into some sandals, and I was meandering off in search of sustenance, succor and stimulation. In other words, I was out for a bite to eat, maybe an afternoon coffee, and I had to meet a friend for some pleasant conversation. That guy in his flashy car that probably costs more than my trailer, my neighbor’s trailer, and the rent we’ll both pay for the next couple of years? That guy was dashing into a fashionable restaurant long enough to impress his lunch date then dashing off to some important deal where he was going to make a lot of money so he could afford to keep that car and the insurance payments and wow, that’s a lot to worry about. He might be a very nice person, but the energy to take care of all the responsibilities? I’m not sure it’s worth it. Cancer dear, dear Cancer…. what’s really important? On a fine day in the fall? How about some coffee and conversation instead of worrying about how to pay for all the bills that go with a lifestyle you can’t afford?
Leo: Something is changing, and it’s helping you. There’s a planetary shift, almost predictable, and as everything changes places a little, moves into new signs and such, life in the land of Leo gets a demonstrably better. Maybe not better all the way around, but there’s a little hint, a little kick, a little suggestion, maybe a pointer or two that makes a pathway clear for you. Nothing is better than having one of those trailblazers go in front of you, sweeping the path clear for you magnificent Leo presence. The image that came to my mind was a Leo minion, using the limb of a fir tree to sweep your pathway clear. The image sent by special Leo was that of an older gentleman, walking along the beach at low tide, sweeping pathway clear of metal objects. He wasn’t really finding any Spanish Doubloons, or silver dollars, but he was having a good time, with the headphones on, listening for a familiar crackle, I suppose, which indicated a spot to dig and see what could be brought to the surface. Either image works. And if you don’t find someone clearing your path for you? Be patient, it’s bound to happen in the next few days.
Virgo: I was looking at a stack of bills, and wondering how on earth I was ever going to pay them all. Then I looked at a few “debt reduction” techniques, and thought about possible avenues. Bankruptcy wasn’t much of an option, as the debt to earnings wasn’t quite right. But the business doesn’t generate enough income to justify a bank actually giving me a loan, and there’s that familiar e-mail scam, “we relieve you of all your credit card debt legally!” One friend actually looked into that one, and it all sounded rather dubious, at best. So what did I do? Nothing. You’re Virgo self is just like me, looking at that stack of bills and wondering how to pay for it all. My simple suggestion? There’s a little action occurring in the next week or so, and that has some Virgo implications. Do nothing. While that’s not terribly good advice in all situation, in this one? It works just fine. The way you think — and the way you think you feel — about your limited cash resources is going to be hard-pressed for the next couple of weeks. Instead of worrying your pretty little Virgo head about money, and how you should allocate that money, let me suggest you do just like I do: nothing. Worry about it another day. The problem is distance, and you’re just too close to the problem to see that it’s not that much of problem.
Libra: Happy birthday! You know what? This is the start of a year that stands for expansion. And no sooner do I suggest some type of beneficial growth than a quick-witted Libra fires back a response about waistlines, and no one is usually happy about that. The trick, as long as we’re addressing this issue, is to take Jupiter’s good graces and put those to work. Dream. Dream big. Dream for all you’re worth. Quick, think about that big lottery check, and imagine yourself receiving one of those. What would you do with it? Vacation? Travel? Investments? New car, new house? Dare I even suggest it? A new trailer? Or new boat? One of those new model boats would look rather nice, both out on the lake and in our garage. Okay, so you’re not going to buy a bass boat, that’s okay. Doesn’t mean that you can’t explore these options. As of yet, none of my Libra friends have reported the big windfall. However, that doesn’t mean it isn’t coming along. Might want to look at how you can judiciously manage those assets.
Scorpio: “Look: the only way to win an argument with a woman is to not win.” It was a buddy of mine, his name is not “bubba,” and we were discussing a recent series of difficulties with certain elements in our lives. He was just trying to give me some good advice. I think he might have a very valid point, too. So I’ll pass his little bon mot along. Wish I could say it was original, but it’s not. Look: your Scorpio self might not be in the same position as my buddy — whose name is not “bubba” — and you may not actually be like me and arguing with a woman. Doesn’t much matter. But I am pretty sure that you’re going to come face-to-face with a certain problem, and that certain problem is like my argument that I can’t win. However, as weird as it seems, try this some time, the best way to win is not to win. Your Scorpio self might want to twist the words around, or adapt it to fit your situation, but not winning might be a good way to win. And every Scorpio should be a winner.
Sagittarius: I was dashing off with a lad — whose name is not Bubba — to pick up one of his girlfriends and grab a quick burger. Even though it’s the fall, I’d spent the better portion of the day with no shirt on, writing and chattering with clients on the phone. I took a quick trip up to the post office, but not much else. So, when my buddy showed up on the trailer’s doorstep, I grabbed a shirt and some sandals, pulled the shirt on, but I just tossed the footwear in the back seat. Where we wound up dining was rather “al fresco,” in other words, it was an outdoor venue and the shoes were strictly not required. So I was “two out of three” for the day. During part of the fall day, I wore only shorts and sandals, and for the rest of the evening, only shorts and a shirt, but no shoes. In my book, in the way I account for myself, between me and the gods, I figured I was doing pretty darn well. I’m not sure that advanced casual is the way your wear your day. I’m not sure what you use to judge the measure of success for a day, but I liked my way. I was two for three, by my accounting. Not exactly naked, but shoes and shorts, then shorts and shirt, but no shoes. It all worked out quite well. There was balance, symmetry, and most important, casual comfort. Look at how you evaluate you days. How your time is spent. What you do, and how it’s all going. I’ll wager you are — at the very least — 2/3’s of the way to being a huge success.
Capricorn: I was riding along with Sister. I don’t recall when this was, I think it was a couple of years ago, but it could’ve been just the last time I saw her. She had a crystal thingy hanging from her review mirror. It’s a little wicker basket, not much bigger than the chunk of silicone in it, with the crystal’s point sticking right above edge of the basket, struck between the two strands that suspend the whole item from the mirror. In stop and go traffic, like there’s any other kind in California, the basket swings back and forth. At every stop, Sister would reach up to steady the swaying item. Personally, I always figure fuzzy dice or a Christmas Tree air freshener is about the only thing one should hang from the rearview. But that could just be me. For her, as I later discovered, steadying that swaying trinket is part of what keeps her centered when she’s driving in snarly Left Coast traffic. For me, though, it was a just annoying. It got to where I would reach up and steady the swinging bauble before the car ever stopped lurching. Some would observe my impatience and wonder. My Capricorn friends, though, I know they understand. It’s a seemingly harmless scene from domestic, familial bliss. You’ve got some choices that you’re facing. You can be like me, and get upset at the little swinging bauble that’s really, at best, just a minor visual distraction. Or you might be like Sister, and that little swinging item might be a source of grounding and centering for you. Just because it annoys everyone else, that doesn’t make it wrong.
Aquarius: I was nestled in my bed with a cat curled up beside me, not bothering much of anyone. The cat kept pushing her butt closer to my face, because, as the weather cools, she tries to snuggle up for warmth. She ain’t stupid. I’d left a window open for the cool evening’s air to circulate freely throughout the trailer. Life was good. There we were, curled up and asleep, and something happened. I’m not sure what. Could’ve been emergency vehicles screaming by in the night, down Barton Springs Road. Could’ve been a rather rowdy neighbor pulling in late at night — or early in the morning — depending on the frame of reference. Could’ve been any number of items that got bump in the night. More like a bump, crash and bang. Whatever it was, I was suddenly awake. The cat who was sleeping with me, stretched out one paw, complained that the warmth was moving, and went back to sleep. Obviously, she wasn’t concerned about what the noise was. Whatever the distraction. Two options now existed. One, roll over and go back to sleep. Or two, get up and investigate. I’m not an Aquarius. I’m a basically lazy Sagittarius. Me and the cat, we drifted off to slumber land again. But looking at the Aquarius chart? You will get up and investigate the source the disturbance. You might, if you’re like one of my neighbors, a truly crotchety old man, get up and holler, “You kids, shut up!” Or, in a more Aquarian frame of mind, you might join the party. In any case, disturbances in your sleeping pattern? After midnight calls? Look forward to some interruptions, and plan on investigating the source of the noise.
Pisces: Big doings upstairs. Mr. Jupiter is sliding into a new sign, and that means, well, it means something. It’s all going to go from one series of frustrations, one stupid mistake after another, to a series of everything is going the way it should go. But the planets don’t always move smoothly, and this little change — or big change — will accompanied by a few rather interesting interruptions. I’ll promise that these changes are much for the better — provided — provided that you implemented a few good ideas and made the correct decisions in the last two weeks or so. Sometimes, a correct decision is nothing more than sitting and waiting for further developments in a particular ongoing scenario. What’s the next point in the plot? What’s that character going to do next? If you give a man enough rope, will he really hang himself? I’d like to suggest that these are all good possibilities. Now, Mr. Mars is going to figure into this fray, so what I’m suggesting is that a little quiet, a little bit of that wait and see attitude might benefit the Pisces portion of the sky better than any other action. Mars and Jupiter, lined up like this? That usually means action. But for Pisces? Maybe wait and let the other person make the first move.
