For the Week of: 11/18-24/2004

“Laughest thou, wretch? Thy mirth shall turn to moan.”
Shakespeare’s Henry VI, Part 1, [II.ii.42]

Aries: Life is going to be good. I kept flipping between the chart for the beginning of the scope — Sun’s in Scorpio, Venus is in Libra — to the chart for the end of the scope — Sun’s in Sagittarius, Venus is in alongside Mars in Scorpio. That pair of morning stars is good for you. That pair should be bringing some relief in your world. That pair is going to bring some more work your way, too. Not that work is a bad thing, but I’ve worked very hard to have a relaxed lifestyle. One author pointed out that I was, “aggressively casual.” My style — or lack thereof — is a good beacon for your Aries self NOT TO FOLLOW. Never hurts to dress for the part, you know. Locally, the shorts weather is just about gone. Except for a few rare days when I get chance to be casual in the afternoon, I’m wearing jeans and boots these days. Way it goes. But instead of imitating my relaxed look, think about adding a little something extra for yourself. Maybe a nicer shirt, or blouse, maybe a sports coat that is both warm (it is cold these days) and looks good. Or something like that. Never hurts to dress it up a little for workplace, no matter where you work. The results will be amazing.

Taurus: I usually exhort that Taurus, dear sweet Taurus, needs time to render a decision. Taurus usually needs to take their own, sweet time to get to a point where a decision can be made. Due to a number of odd events occurring, I’m suggesting that you not take your own, sweet time to make decision. Right or wrong? Doesn’t matter. Go for it. Go with what you know. Go with that instinct. Don’t spend too much time worrying about whether it’s right or wrong. One of my buddies had the nicest bumper sticker, although, I’m not sure he’s going to actually put it on his truck. The sticker read, “Shut Up and Fish!” I’m suggesting the same course of events for your most excellent Taurus self. No, that doesn’t mean I’m telling you to shut up and fish, it means that, whatever it is that you’re doing? Just do it. Wait, too much like an advertising slogan. That’ll never work. But the idea, the sentiment, doesn’t matter what it is, move will haste and go for it. Don’t take time to ponder, “Should a I use a watermelon or chartreuse worm?” Just go with what seems to fit. Or whatever you grab first.

Gemini: I’ve often figured there ought to be a basic intelligence test before someone can unlock a computer and have access to e-mail and the net. One of my little Gemini friends was having the worst time of it, being Gemini and all, she balanced about 43 different online accounts for herself. Just trying to remember what password went with which account was trouble. She failed to heed my advice, and finally got into one of those jams where she couldn’t remember the correct password for one mail account, and she lost all access. Of course, that left another 42 accounts that she could still get to.

Deal is, you’re dealing with a bit of information overload. Even your wonderful Gemini brain feels a little stuffed. Which gets back to that basic intelligence test I was suggesting. I’m pretty sure I’ve suggested it before, but the big problem we’re all having here in Gemini land is “common sense.” The way the next few days end up, you’re going to spout off some question, which, if you’d just dig through your own brain, you know the answer to that question. Instead of mailing me with a quick question, or calling, think about it for a minute.

Cancer: When the lake’s water gets cold, what you would expect in November, the fish start to get a little sluggish. Deal is, there’s still some good fishing to be had, it just takes a craftier fisher-person to angle for them cold-weather fishes. Are you such a person? Can you be a crafty Cancer person? Maybe a little sly and sneaky? I’m not really too concerned with the “sly and sneaky” part, I was more interested in techniques. Takes a lot more action, and some of it deep-water action, to get the slow fish to bite. Got to convince them that it’s worth it. Have to fish a little deeper and little harder. Since I’m basically lazy, “fishing harder” doesn’t translate well. But it’s all about being prepared. Warm clothing in layers for us on the lake, then the right bait to attract those fish. First clue is to figure out where the fish are at, usually about halfway down, by the edge of the grass (underwater weeds). Change up the baits used, too. Something for going a little deeper, maybe something with tad more wiggle in its action. You’re looking for something a little deeper, and because it’s starting to get cold, and since the water’s colder, too, there needs to be change in your Cancer technique.

Leo: One of my readers sent me my horoscope by some other astrology writer. It was actually canned material, written by a ghost writer, and the source just attached their own name to material. “That doesn’t really happen, does it?” I was queried. Sure. All the time. The horoscope in question played on vanities and how no one seems to be paying attention. Which, strictly speaking, last week for Sagittarius, that was true. But this week? It’s a little different. I’m not about to rerun someone else’s pirated material. But the deal is, my excellent Leo friend, if you’ll just bid your time, you’ll find that the folks who are ignoring you this week? They won’t ignore you next week. See, starting Sunday, or so, Mr. Sun hisself slides on into Sagittarius. Then both of us are no longer being ignored. This scope goes for this week on into next week. Going into this weekend, be prepared for the most humiliating of all situations, for a darling Leo, being passed over for something. Next week? The very worst that can happen? You have to bite your tongue a little to keep from saying, “I told you so.”

Virgo: A buddy of mine has a cool truck that’s been stretched and lowered. I’m not sure the truck’s really been stretched, but with the springs cut down, and its extended cab, it has the appearance of being long, low and lean. The deal is, the driveway off Barton Spring Road? He has to go extra slow there. You’d figure, it being a truck and all, a little bit of curb action wouldn’t bother it. Most normal trucks — as well as most passenger vehicles — aren’t bothered by the extra lip; the rather large hump at the entrance to Shady Acres doesn’t pose much of a threat. However, negotiating that entrance requires lower than normal speeds for my buddy’s truck. Think about it. Coming up in the next few days, you’ve got a scene just like this, fast approaching. There’s curb or bump in the road. Go too fast, and your Virgo ears will hear the unmistakable sound of metal on concrete as you hit that extra lip. One Virgo reader will assure me that her Suburban Assault Vehicle won’t bottom out on the entrance to Shady Acres, and she’ll then point out that she’s not planning on stopping by, either. So maybe you’re curb action is some place else. I’m not sure where, but there is a bump fast approaching. The only way to surmount this difficulty is to slow down. Once you’re over that tough spot, it’s all good again. Well, except for my buddy’s show truck, he has to go slow on the gravel here so it doesn’t scratch his paint.

Libra: Things are supposed to be running smoothly for you. In the Libra world, there are ups and downs, but really, in perspective, all this stuff is supposed to be running smoothly. There’s a kind of grace that comes with these times. The problem being, see, my favorite archetype for a Libra is Pa Wetzel. He has a bum leg, and he’s occasionally running into things. As long as he’s seated, all is well. During one of his little misadventures, he’d cheerfully grumble, “Just call me, ‘grace,’ I guess,” and then he’d be on his feet again, pushing forward as usual. I was thinking about that, the almost joyful way he’d use that expression. You’re like my Libra Pa Wetzel, and you’re inclined to bumble once in the next few days. It’s matter of Mars, and he’s moving along at quite a clip. So are you. If you’re not careful, you’ll trip up on your own (usually delicate) Libra feet. All I’m saying is to cover your self with a gentle and positive expression. It’s not like this is the end of the world or anything. Or, you could be a little more cautious. Personally, I’m in favor of throwing caution to the wind, and having a merry old time of it myself, pratfalls and all.

Scorpio: I was having trouble with a balky piece of software, as the server wasn’t displaying the information I wanted, in a way I wanted the data displayed. The data was there, just not in the manner I was accustomed to seeing it. What’s worse, the problem couldn’t be traced back to component failure, bad software design, or some other problem not of my own making. Truth be told, I’d diddled one of the settings and that small change upset the whole way everything worked. “User error,” in computer parlance. More like “useless user,” if you ask me. Having worked both sides of this situation, I’m familiar with what the tech support calls feel like, and I’m familiar with what sort stupid end-user mistakes are possible. Spare me the details — I’ve probably heard all the tech support jokes I can stand. What I did was shoulder my way through with the arcane, basic, ungainly display of information. I could’ve taken time to settle in and work with what was there, and try to undo my mistake, or resort to a back up version and thereby make everything pretty again. But all those actions would’ve taken up time. I had the raw data that I needed. I didn’t need to look any further. It just wasn’t “pretty.” Like me, you can waste a lot time going over something you’ve done before, trying to replicate the necessary step to make everything look good again, or, like I did, you can just use the standard view. It’s not as pretty, but it sure gets the job done, and for the time being, that’s all that’s important.

Sagittarius: Not this weekend. Three simple words. I’ll repeat, “Not this weekend.” What’s up is that there’s an expectant air floating around, a sense that there’s something about to happen, but it’s not happening yet. Most of the folks you know are running around, very busy doing a lot of nothing. I’m reminded of a quote from Chaucer’s Canterbury Tales, but I couldn’t dig up the quote fast enough. And unlike a lot of my friends, I’m not willing to go and lift the heavy textbook from the shelf in order to find the right quote. Like me, you’d grab that one book, and then get stuck, meandering around the pages, and looking at some girl’s phone number scribbled in the margin notes some place, think about that, and then look at what the professor had said about such-and-such story, then you’d completely forget what it was you went to look up in the first place. So, from memory, it’s quote about a lawyer, who seemed busier than he really was. You can be just like that character, or you can be like me, getting lost in a book while trying to find that quote, or, you can try it like I’m planning on doing it, I’m going to skip as much of the activity as possible. Might jostle a fishing buddy for a morning run to the lake, but that’s about it. Everyone else is worked up. I’m not getting into the fray. You shouldn’t, either.

Capricorn: An astrological transition, like the one coming up? That’s usually accompanied by a little turbulence. Turbulence can easily be interpreted as a bump on a piece of pavement. Even better, there was this one street in Austin, and for years, or so it seemed, it was “under construction.” First, they ripped up the old sewer lines, then the water mains, then they laid new pipes, and finally, the city got around to repaving the whole stretch. It all occurred a little at a time. Businesses on that street suffered. While this may be a local story, I’m sure you’ve seen this sort of activity. Reminds me of the old joke about two seasons in the North, Road Repair and Winter. So what usually occurs is turbulence. What’s not going on is turbulence. I was riding with a Capricorn friend, and as she started to turn down that street, the street forever being repaired, she wheeled around and hit a side street. We circumnavigated the region and got to a nice place to eat in about half the usual time. No problem. When you see some turbulence up ahead, try a side street instead. You can get through the whole week with no problems, or fewer problems, if you’re willing to think and act quickly.

Aquarius: I’d love for life to roll right on over and be perfect for you. Regrettably, the Sun is still in Scorpio for the rest of this week, then he eases on into Sagittarius. Also lamentable, the Sun leaves a pair of planets behind, notably Mars and Venus. With the two love birds in Scorpio, you’re going to find that your fine Aquarius self is a little upset about some trivial matter. Before you even think about dashing me off a note, explaining how this particular situation isn’t trivial, I’d give it a moment’s thought. This might seem like a big deal to you. This might seem like a supremely huge deal to you. This might seem like a major problem, blockage, stumbling block or other impediment. Stop, before you send me that highly irate letter or e-mail, telling me how wrong I am, and how this really is a big deal. I’m sure, at the moment, it is a big deal. I’m just warning you, though, the next person — non-Aquarius person, that is — in whom you confide? That person might snicker. I might snigger, too. I might, if I see fit, hit you with a sarcastic reply. That’s not what you want. Not what you want, not what you desire, and in some cases, not what you deserve. The problem is us non-Aquarius personages, we’re not seeing the same problem from your eyes. I can be empathic, but don’t count on it. In fact, a number of people you encounter are going to lack the same empathy you really need. Two solutions. One, hold onto that problem until the planets move a little bit more and make life easier. Or two, find another Aquarius to share troubles with.

Pisces: Chicken-fried anything is good. Just the way it is around these parts. Plus, there’s something ultimately rather comforting that comes from having a chicken-fried something as a meal. Or, as part of a meal, anyway. So it’s up to you to determine just exactly when a little bit of the comfort food is in order. Comfort food, something that’s been battered and deep-fried? That’s not always required. But there’s a situation that’s fast approaching, and the simplest of solutions is, to me, is a nice plate of chicken-friend steak. Oddly enough, I discovered that a local restaurant, renowned for its BBQ, that place also does a decent a chicken-friend steak. Light, tender crust, beer batter, just about perfect. Contrary to popular belief, I don’t eat a chicken-fried steak every day. But I can’t help, after traversing so much of Texas, to admit to having a few places that are favorites. I’m not sure what works as a solace and comfort in your world. Are you going to need solace and comfort? Never hurts. There’s a little situation that’s developing, and while it can be good, there’s also a chance that you’re going to run into a snag. Nothing’s worse than just minor setback. When that occurs, think, “Kramer suggested the chicken-fried steak platter.” Adjust as need be for your delicate Pisces culinary tastes, but there’s always some kind of comfort that can be found. Might be of your own doing, but I’m suggesting you give a whirl. Use as need be.
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About the author: Born and raised in a small town in East Texas, Kramer Wetzel spent years honing his craft in a trailer park in South Austin. He hates writing about himself in third person. More at KramerWetzel.com.

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