“The house you dwell in proclaims you to be a creature of sale.”
Shakespeare’s Pericles [IV.vi.76]
Aries: There are a probably a bazillion “self-help” tomes about this one subject. In my effort to save the world, or rule the world, or something in between, I’ve read a few of those “self help” texts. I’ve got a couple of the rules boiled down and condensed, so I can save your Aries self from the trouble of reading that type of material. Saves you some money, too. “Do what you like, like what you do.” Pretty simple, straight-up advice. Look, it’s the big holiday in my world, Solstice, as the Sun bumps into Capricorn. Coincidentally, it’s the retail event of the year, Christmas. I don’t mean to ignore other faiths, it’s just those are the parties with which I’m familiar. While everyone else is gearing up for parties and celebrations, and basically, not getting anything useful done, you’re in a slightly different position. New year, fast approaching. Think about it. Are you doing what you want to do? Do you enjoy it? Does it provide adequate income? Or is it time for a change? Mercury is easing hisself back into a more tolerable position, so you should be thinking about doing something to ease yourself into a more tolerable position, too.
Taurus: By the time next week gets here, when Xmas finally arrives, you’re going to think I’m a miracle worker. I’m not a miracle worker, or, by any stretch of the imagination, able to perform great acts of magic. But this week? There’s just that last minute, Xmas hustle that’s going to happen. One too many people want a chunk of your lovely Taurus backside. Only so many hours in a day. Only so many days in week. And Mr. Mars is still opposite you, plus Mr. Mercury is still engaged in his tricky trickster actions. Or lack of actions. Between those two, you’re going to feel like there’s just not quite enough of your fundamental Taurus self to go around. I mean, there are only two areas where your presence is required. One is at work, and two is home. And the parties. And the shopping. That’s about four, and I’m sure your personal list growing. I wouldn’t be surprised if you find yourself double-booked on more than one evening. Now, the deal is, in another week, like right around December 25th itself, there’s another positive shift in the planets. Then life is good. Until then? I’ll wave as you go rushing by.
Gemini: I was quizzing a Gemini buddy of mine, who goes by the sobriquet of “Bubba,” about how the last few days of the Mercury Mayhem were affecting him. “Dude, I found a cure. For Mercury,” he was telling me, “tequila.” Before I had a chance to ask some obvious questions, in true Gemini fashion, he started into an explanation. “Soothes the mind by adding that calming effect. Get to the point where I just don’t care if no one understands me. It doesn’t matter, not after the third round.” I can’t agree completely, and not being what you would call, a “drinking man” myself, I can’t accurately judge the effects of tequila on Mercury retrograde Gemini folks. Or, I can’t tell if it works well. But it seems to, at least for this one feller named Bubba. Fortunately, for this one Gemini guy, his appearance at work is largely as a mascot. He’s a sales team leader, or manager (I’m not sure at the moment), and he spends a lot of time just doing what comes naturally for a Gemini, rallying the troops. Plus, he’s known as an eccentric character, so it doesn’t matter much that he’s been stinking of margarita juices for the last week or so. I’m not saying that this is an excuse for a binge. I can’t even condone that behavior. But after what you’ve been through? You might want to start breaking into the tequila, or, around this trailer, the cookies and milk originally designated for Santa. We all need a little Gemini comfort, whatever form it takes.
Cancer: “I swear, if that ‘astrofish.net guy’ mentions ‘work’ one more time, I’m going to scream!” I can see it now. Worse, I can hear that scream because that’s exactly what I’m going to address. Sure, it’s the holidays, and sure, you’d like to play some, and sure, I’m planning on making sure that all my Cancer employees get an extra day off with pay. I was also going to hand out Xmas bonuses, too, but here’s the problem. If I were to try and cut checks for them, the checks would bounce. You’re owed — we agree on that. You’ve got it coming; we agree on that, too. Can I pay the Cancer’s this week? Sorry, but the server bill came due, then there’s the office rent, and the regular payroll tax, and I’m doing all I can do to get you guys an extra day off. So work is still a priority, whatever your job is. And if you’re in my office? And a Cancer? Remember I promised you the day off with pay. But on your way out the door? If you don’t mind swinging by the post office, and there’s just a few other errands I need you to run….
Leo: End of the year, holidays, merry-making, and all that crap. Yeah, truth be told, I’m pretty much a scrooge. My favorite time is that dead space between Xmas and New Years’ Eve. Love that time. Nothing happens. I get the first of the “what’s the new year going to bring” folks, but most people wait until after the First. I realize I’m jumping fast forward on this, leaping a good two weeks in advance, but with Xmas right around the corner, it’s not so far away. Besides that little dead space I was talking about? It’s like the crawl space under one of the older homes in the neighborhood, here. Possums and raccoons plus the odd feral kitten usually makes homes in there, in that dead space. It’s a great place to store those old cartons (always save packing material), and that space serves as some kind of barrier between your home and the dirt. Or something like that. That dead space is perfect breathing room. What with Mr. Mercury just starting to get straightened out, and with the sun headed toward Capricorn, you can use a little breathing room. A little space. That week after Xmas is going to give you some much-needed room to take care of everything you’re forgetting to do this week. You can make a list, check it twice, but I’m still pretty sure a few items will get missed. Not a problem.
Virgo: “Suppose I don’t want to know my future?” a young lady queried me, “suppose I like to live it day by day, with each day being a surprise?” I would suggest that the particular person, that young lady (Virgo, no less) was very much in the moment. That’s a goal me and her, we share that ideal. Perhaps she’s further along than I am. Could be the case. I rather liked the way she pinpointed the matter, skewered straight to the heart of the question and quickly reduced the outward appearance of my nominal career efforts to an absurdity. But that’s just from a casual glance. In reality, I’m less of prognosticator and more of a barometer. The pressure this week is still coming from Mercury — the planet Mercury and its influences. But as mercury (the element in a barometer) starts to rise, at least locally, that means we’re going to get a cold, clear, clean day. Same thing, Mercury is rising, or will be shortly. Going to be cold, clear and clean. Just about perfect. Probably hits right after this weekend.
Libra: These next few days have to do with expectations. I had one Libra client I was corresponding with, and she was worried about two things: job cuts and vacation. She’d planned an expensive vacation, but she couldn’t afford the vacation is she got laid off. Her specific inquiry had to do with canceling the trip while she could get her deposit back. And then, starting next year, would she still have the (high-paying) job. Which, if she got laid-off, she couldn’t afford the trip. But if she didn’t cancel the rather expensive vacation, then she’d lose a hefty deposit. It’s one of those situations where no matter what you decide, it isn’t quite right. My advice was simple, and I’m passing along this example for the rest of “Jupiter afflicted” Libra folks. Cancel the trip, get the deposit back. Which then means you get to keep the job. Maybe even get a raise. And I just saved you from an expensive vacation. But if you let those plans stay in place? You’ll probably have to forfeit the job, the vacation, and the deposit. Just the way it stacks up these days. Now, here’s the plan, next month? That trip you were planning to take, but cancelled at my advice? It goes on sale. Cheaper. Plus, you’ll still have that job.
Scorpio: Cops rolling into the diner for some dinner. No, not all cops are Scorpio’s. But if all cops were Scorpio’s, the world would certainly be a little smoother run. It’s that Scorpio integrity thing, you know, at least, if all cops were Scorpio’s then we could trust them to do exactly what they say they’d do. Never mind. A couple of officers in uniform rolled into the diner, the sergeant taking out some reading glasses to look at the menu. I was the next table over, reading a student broadsheet. The younger of the pair pulled his radio out to check in to check out for dinner. Looked like it was the beginning of their shift, and they were just about to get comfortable for a well-deserved break. I was just finishing my meal, and I was going to say something polite, when the opportunity presented itself. The waitress brought them water. That younger officer held his radio up to ear. The sergeant muttered something, folder up his reading glasses, and stood up, adjusting his belt. You might not be a cop, and you might not be sitting down to dinner in a diner with a long-haired freak of an astrologer at the next table. Odds on that one are pretty slim. But I will promise — thanks to Mr. Mercury — your dinner hour is going to be interrupted by a call. Might come in over the radio, might be a cell phone, could even be an old-fashioned knock on the door. But be ready to be interrupted. Just the trickster planet, having some fun at your expense.
Sagittarius: Unclaimed property, via a State of Texas website. No, really, there was a site, and all I had to do was pop in my name, and it ran me through a database of unclaimed property. I found a refund for $50 from a telephone service, in my name. I filled in the form on the site, and about three days later, I got notice, more paperwork. The deal was, is, whatever, that I had to show documentation for unclaimed property, in this case, about $50 (which I could use). What was so richly rewarding? The date of the refund? I wasn’t living in Texas at that time. I was away at school. No matter how I stretched it, I just couldn’t come up with any documentation that came even close to providing one thin shard of evidence that the phone service owed me any money. Wasn’t an address I ever lived at. Wasn’t a company I ever subscribed to. The only item in common was the name, my name. I sent the form in, anyway, and I eventually got my $50. Somebody’s mistake, my gain. Or, it might have been from some crossed wires, someplace, and maybe, just maybe that company over-billed me and I was getting refunds, decades later. The deal is, yes, it’s the tail-end of the Sagittarius birthdays, and it’s the tail end of the Mercury thing, and it’s the tail end of the Xmas season. I’m not promising a quick $50 to anyone. But someplace, somehow, you’re going to get smiled upon. Like an extra $50 refund when you least expect it, or weren’t looking for it.
Capricorn: It’s that final sprint to the finish line. Or, more realistically, it’s that sprint to the starting line. But it feels like it’s the last leg of the race. It’s going to be getting really good, just about any minute now. Maybe not any minute, but we’re ever so close. After working our way through the nightmare of the last Mercurial mishaps, you’re not one for being too terribly hopeful. Just a few things going on, maybe one too many occurrences, all happening at the same time. That can be a problem. I’d tend to look back and realize that you double-booked yourself a couple of time. Smile your engaging Capricorn smile, and hit them with, “Sorry, I seem to be double-booked at the moment. Holidays and all, you know.” See: by the time this scope rolls over into the next one? The first of the Capricorn birthdays are starting. That’s when, as if by magic, your life suddenly improves. Maybe “life” doesn’t improve, but your outlook gets demonstrably warmer.
Aquarius: I tend to have rather obscure and somewhat undefined tastes. There’s a line from a cult classic movie, and when I was looking at your chart, I kept hearing that line. Your stars (planet placement, actually) reminded me of that one scene. I know you don’t know the movie or the scene, but you can well imagine what you’re going to run into as the big holiday extravaganza weekend approaches. You’ll have dazed and confused look. At least one of your friends will ask if you did a lot of psychotropic substances in the Sixties. You’re probably not old enough to even get the reference, but it was worth a try. Most the Aquarius folks I’ve had contact with over the last few days have had that “stoner” look to them. Sort of like a space cadet of some kind. True, life’s been a series of strange occurrences lately, and after the last of the mercurial misdeeds, you’re a little whacked out. Too tired to care? Sure. A little fried? Sure, that too. Solutions? I’m not sure there really is one, other than to remove yourself from the offending character’s presence. If someone lacks compassion for your dazed state, perhaps you don’t belong around them. Me? I’d blame the holiday crush.
Pisces: I fetched up the funniest piece of mail the other afternoon, addressed to me, and then under my name, “Or the good driver at….” Course I’m listed as a good driver. I use feet. Or public transportation. Or a cab. Or hitch a ride. The vehicles in my name, none of them have current registration, and, in fact haven’t had current registration for over five, maybe six or even seven years now. They’re not mobile. I’m holding onto those vehicles, titles and all, until they reach collector status. Or someone offers me a lot of money, too good of an offer to turn down, for the junk. I mean, near “classic vintage vehicle in restorable condition.” Ah, to heck with it. They’re junk, not going anywhere, except maybe a far South Austin junkyard, and even then, the truck and car probably aren’t worth that much. But the thing about getting the notice from an insurance company, I simply found that amusing. Of course I’m a good driver. I’m rarely behind the wheel, and when I am, I drive cautiously because I’ve been seasoned in Austin’s traffic. Plus I’ve trained in Houston, as well. Houston has the best — or worst — drivers in the world. Nerves of steel. Anyway, I was looking at the insurance farm form, and wondering why they bothered to send it to me. It’s an odds game, that marketing. It’s an odds game in Pisces, too. Sending me advertising for auto insurance isn’t a bright idea. But the chances of hitting someone in a trailer park who could use a little insurance, especially if it’s pay by the month plan, that’s a good idea. So you have a few duds in your Pisces Plan over this holiday weekend. Chances are, you’ll hit something pretty good at the start of next week.
