For the Week of: 12/30/2004-1/5/2005

“Love thyself; cherish those hearts that hate thee.”
Shakespeare’s Henry VIII [III.ii.445]

Quick yearly overview:

Mr. Mercury will be backwards a couple of time this coming year — 2005, March 20 to April 11 (great time to file taxes in Aries), July 22 to August 15 in Leo, and November 14 to December 3 in Sagittarius and Scorpio. Mars is scheduled for his bi-annual backwards visit from October 1 until December 9 in Taurus. Venus, pulls a little stunt, right at the end of 2005, sliding from Aquarius back towards Capricorn. Jupiter is retrograde in Libra from February 2 until June 5. Saturn moves from Cancer into Leo on July 17.

“And now we return you to our regularly scheduled horoscopes.”

Aries: Look, New Year’s Eve is a big deal to some. To others, like me, it just means work. For close to a decade, I would wind up working every New Years’ Eve. Just the way it went, part of being in the “entertainment” business. Part and parcel of what’s going on these days. It also marks the calendar beginning to my year. Yee-haw. Means it’s time to geared up for work and more. Here’s the caution, I can se this one going on, right now, “I’m going to pay off all the credit card and debt, going on a diet and I’m going to start working out, every day.” It’s a plan, but there’s a little trouble, that’s like expecting to do a whole lot of stuff, all at once. Plus, there are a couple of planets leaning on you — in a good way — but you tend to believe that you can cure everything, all at once. Temper some of those well-wishes, or you’ll get to the gym, like my Aries buddy, and discover that you can’t cover the monthly fee unless you put it on a credit card. Which just gets us back to the idea of tackling one problem at a time, not 43, all at once.

Taurus: January First, I’m going to be fishing. Fishing and eating some black-eyed peas. The fishing part is largely ceremonial. I might not spend too much time actually fishing, but I will wet line, and I will drag a top-water lure through the lake’s surface, just to set the tone for the coming year. The black-eyed peas are for good luck; it’s a southern tradition. There’s a place, close by Shady Acres that serves delightful “Texas Caviar.” It’s a cold bean salad, made from black-eyed peas, a few peppers, some diced onions, and marinated in vinaigrette. Or vinegar, is more likely. Either way, it’s got a little zip, and it’s quite tasty. As the New Year starts out, pick one or two items, choices, desires, goals. Not a whole long list of stuff, just one or two, and make that a priority. Mine’s simple: good luck traditions and fishing. But it’s a good way to go. Start out with the goals, but make sure those goals are simple and straightforward. My good Taurus friends need simple and straightforward these days. Good luck and tight lines.

Gemini: Years ago, I picked up some coffee at the grocery store, the brand name was “Legal” and it was advertised as “Mexican coffee.” Some pretty good coffee beans come from Mexico. I really just picked it up because I was going to try to work the can’s label into a photo collage or something. I tend to stay away from most canned coffee, preferring to grind the beans myself. I ran out of regular coffee one morning, and I opened up that can of “Legal” brand coffee. It’s laced with cinnamon. Pretty heavy, too, so it makes an ideal after-dinner coffee. Or, as I’ve discovered, mixed with regular coffee beans, just a little touch of that cinnamon-flavored Mexican coffee adds just the right bounce. It’s matter of finding the right mix. That’s what this little period of time, between Xmas and New Years, and then, the first few days after New Years, it’s all a matter of balance and touch. Like that cinnamon-laced coffee, too much of something isn’t a good idea. But the right combination, with other flavors, works rather well. Might take a little experimenting, but the Gemini efforts yield rewards.

Cancer: I was passing through downtown, probably on my way back from the post office when I spied one of those “interesting” vehicles. Oh yes, we have a lot them around here. “Art Cars” are predominant, but this was a different kind. Late model sedan and the rear window was held in place with duck tape. (N.B.: it’s “Duct Tape,” not duck tape.) Interesting make-shift arrangement. Seemed to work. Now, a few weeks later, I saw the same car. Same rear window fixings. Duck tape. Then again, a month or more later, still held together with wonderful race tape. I don’t know the supplier of that particular duck tape, but that was the good stuff, that’s for sure. Surviving a winter around here, what with rain, snow, ice, sometimes all in the same day, plus the winter’s sun, that’s good tape and it was obviously a masterful job of sticking it all together. Whatever works. That’s you’re cue, too, Cancer, whatever works. Might not be as pretty as you’d like, might not be a permanent solution, but when you’re making hasty repair? Remember that this is a repair that might have to last until your next birthday.

Leo: I’d suggest that the Leo portion of the sky is due for a little celebration. I’d also suggest that this celebration needs to be a little quieter than usual. Not a big party with 20,000 of your favorite friends, but a more slightly more intimate gathering. I passed one New Year’s Eve like that, just me and a couple of Leo’s, dining on fabulous raw fish, watching the events transpire on the tube. Think it was cable, I’m not sure if it was real airwaves. It was quiet, light, entertaining, good camaraderie, nice cheer, and I was early to bed. No fireworks. No big deal. And, best of all, the next day? Life was good, as I was starting out a year wherein I felt better, chipper, ready to roll on into work and get a fresh start. My business schedule usually picks up for the astrology side of things, right around now. I’m on the road, almost every weekend, and then there’s the personal consultations, during the coming weeks. Instead of doing this up in typical Leo fashion, a big party with hundreds of friends, maybe think about the quiet version. That way, the day after? And the day after the day after? You can hit the ground running and gunning, ready for all the new stuff. You’re going to be very busy in the coming month, I’ll promise that. Might as well face it rested and prepared.

Virgo: I was wandering home late on winter’s night. Bit nippy outside. I passed a Virgo’s trailer, and she was sitting outside, playing with a tiny puppy, smoking a cigarette. The Virgo was smoking, not the puppy. It was just about the cutest tiny dog I’ve ever seen, “It’s half Chihuahua, half Dachshund,” she explained, “a Cha-weenie. You want it?” No, I’m cat guy. As we idly chatted and I examined that dog, I came up with an idea. It looks like a Doberman. Fix its ears? It would look like ferocious, tiny man-eater. A few minute later, one the Virgo’s friends showed up. She was struggling with the fact that she wanted a dog, and this was the cutest 8-week old puppy and it just belonged to her. Didn’t want to admit it. The Virgo neighbor of mine, she’s a smart one, “Kramer, do a quick reading, what do the cards see?” I put the back of my hand against my forehead, closed my eyes, and searched the inner, intuitive voices, listening for a sign. I opened my eyes. The dog was resting on its new owner chest, nuzzled up, warm, cuddly, asleep. “I can see a new dog in your life.” Everyone was happy. Plus the dog, too. Little Scorpio puppy, just as pleased as he could be. “That dog’ll hunt.”

Libra: Mental hygiene is important. Occasionally, a good, clean, screaming fit just clears your head. I wouldn’t know, I’m not given to such displays of emotion, unless it’s with fish. Or about fish. Or, worse, about fish who resolutely refuse any of the bait I offer, but other than cussing at the fish, I rarely have such outward displays. Deal is this: there’s a time approaching, long after the party hats are put away for another year, and during that time, you’re going to run into one situation — could be a person — and that person, place, thing, object in the road, is going to piss you off. Instead of doing what you usually do, act nice, and try to work it out, since you’re good and angry, use that anger in a constructive manner. I’m all for a little screaming fit, myself. Doesn’t mean you’re right, but you’ll feel a lot better. Sometimes, just a little hooting and hollering makes you feel more at ease. Don’t bottle it up, let that stuff go.

Scorpio: I’m a fair weather fisherman. Period. End of story. Looks like rain? I’m not interested. True story: winter fishing in Austin, not much was happening and it looked like rain. Got out the rain suit, put it on. The clouds scurried away. I took the top half of the rain suit off. Started to drizzle. Cold drizzle, too. Put the jacket back on. Rain stopped. Flipped the hood down, left the waterproof jacket on, and the rain abated. Started to get a little steamy in the rain suit itself, I started to peel out of it. Rain started again. Fifteen minutes passed. Rain stopped. I started to peel out of the suit again, the guy in the back of the boat instructed me to leave my suit on, “Or it’ll start raining again.” I finally gave up when it really did look like the rain was going to go away completely. Besides, I was soaked, inside that rain suit. I didn’t care. Which all goes to prove why I’m a much better fair-weather fisher person than I am as an all-seasons guy. I’m sure there’s some rule that governs the way I put on and take off the rain suit vis-a-vis the rain itself. I wasn’t amused but my friend was. Very amused. You’re going to be like me, in control of something, like the weather, only, you’re not going to be happy about the way you control it. There’s an outside chance, like my fishing buddy, you’re just going to be amused by it all, but unfortunately, the way the stars stack up, all those planets in Sagittarius? I’ll bet you’re going to spend a fair portion of the next few days sliding in and out of a rain suit.

Sagittarius: Winter fishing can be quite rewarding. Winter fishing is also a little tricky. Have to drag the baits slower. Have to find the right bait. Have to figure out if the fish are lurking around some underwater structures, or if they’re moving towards high ground. We were not having any luck, a couple of weeks ago. Of course I was wondering what I was doing in boat, in the middle of the lake, at a time when I should be cozied up in a coffee shop someplace, instead. There was one (1) smallish fish in the live well. I got to talking to that fish. I’d pop open the live well’s cover, look at the bass, and say, “Get some of your friends to join us, or I’ll take you home and fry you.” Then it was, “I got a sharp knife, we’ll just do you up as sashimi if you don’t get some friends to join you.” Finally, I thought I’d try the desperation tactic, “Look, all by yourself, we catch a nice girl bass, and think about the privacy you’ll have with her. Spawn all you like. Dude, it’s like a room in Bass Motel.” I’d open up the live well, talk to the fish, and then drop the cover back in place. Threats, cajoling, more threats, none of it worked. We tossed him back in the lake around noon. You might not be talking in an animated fashion to a single bass in the live well of bass boat in the middle of the lake on winter’s morning, but I’ll suggest that you wind up doing something pretty similar. While talking smack to a single fish itself isn’t too entertaining, some of the chatter can be quite entertaining. Us Sagittarius, we’ll take what we can get these days.

Capricorn: “Chum” is a fishing term that means fish food. Or, for a deer hunter, it’s like a deer feeder. Or like a salt block left out on a deer lease. But I prefer fishing chum. Every once in while, I tie a lure on the end of line, give it a good cast, and away sails the lure — not attached to the line. In fishing terms, that lure has just become chum, something to attract fish, but with no line attached so there’s no hope in actually catching fish. At least one fishing buddy considers this a necessary sacrifice to the fishing gods. I’m pretty sure that the “fishing gods” would be Neptune, and he’s parked in Aquarius these days. But there’s an offering of some kind, maybe not to the “fishing gods,” but you’ve got a situation wherein a little sacrifice is required. It could be one of my ill-fated attempts at tying a knot in monofilament line, or it could entirely different. Besides, I always figure that lures are disposable items, not intended to last for forever, more like a commodity that shuffles in and then shuffles out. Or flies off the end of rod. Whatever. Don’t be afraid to make a sacrifice, some kind of an offering, to whatever deity you deem necessary. Hey, for one of my Cap friends? Claims all she has to do is have a talk with the “big guy upstairs.” Whatever works. Me? I just occasionally blunder and toss a lure in the lake, unattached. Chum. Prayer. Or something.

Aquarius: I was heading out for a holiday. For me, just about any vacation is a working vacation because I enjoy what I do, and I usually find way to work in either fishing, or astrology, or both, on any trip. It’s not like I can turn off the astrology deal, either. Or, for that matter, when I show up wearing “Bass Pro” label on my hat, folks tend to make a few judgment calls. Doesn’t bother me. I enjoy all aspects, or most, anyway, of what I do. There will be a few calls I can do without, but overall, I rather enjoy the gig. So I’m predicting, that I’ll be at a party someplace, on New Year’s Eve, and some folks will want prognostications for the coming year. I can rattle off the dates for Mercury and Saturn, and that’s about all I’m worried about. Depending on who’s asking, and how the question is framed, I sometimes pop off answers that are amazingly accurate. And sometimes, I just have smart-aleck response, too. In the next couple of days, and over the big weekend celebration, and all the concomitant revelry associated with it, I’m going to have to reel in my Aquarius brain some. There are some comments I’d like to make, but I’m not going to make, even though I would be greatly amused by hearing the answers. Sometimes, like at a party, folks really want serious answers. When you’re faced with a similar situation, and this isn’t limited to New Year’s Eve, but for the next couple of days, try to tone down the Aquarius wisecracks. Some folks just don’t get it.

Pisces: A couple of my Pisces friends were trying a variety of diets. The low-carb thing. The no-carb thing. The all-protein game. Personally, I found an all-taco diet that worked well for me. At least, it worked for a little while, until I stumbled into a place that had regular cuisine, and a chicken-friend something that wasn’t wrapped in a taco shell blew the diet. Here’s the hint: it’s about guilt. I’ve found, from many years of research, that party food doesn’t count as a deterrent to the diet. There’s a little added bonus, too, the finger food that something wrapped in bacon, or something that is fried? Those don’t count against the diet plan. There are days, evening, weekends, or special parties that require certain actions. Your Pisces mind is going to consider those actions as “guilty pleasures.” I’m suggesting that you consider these actions just pleasures, not guilty pleasures. Makes for more fun. You can always use a little more fun. It’s like that diet, don’t do like one of my Pisces friends did, “This isn’t on my diet, but I’ll have it anyway,” do like I suggest, “Oh, it’s finger food at a party. Doesn’t count against me!”

  • Aperture: ƒ/1.8
  • Camera: iPad Pro (11-inch)
  • Taken: 15 January, 2023
  • Flash fired: no
  • Focal length: 3mm
  • ISO: 64
  • Shutter speed: 1/60s

About the author: Born and raised in a small town in East Texas, Kramer Wetzel spent years honing his craft in a trailer park in South Austin. He hates writing about himself in third person. More at KramerWetzel.com.

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