For the Week starting: 3.10.2005

"Hang him, mechanical, salt-butter rogue!"

Shakespeare's The Merry Wives of Windsor [II.ii.267]

    Coming up? Happy Pi Day (3.14)

Aries: I was doing a face-to-face reading, around the corner from here, in a coffee shop, and I blurted out something that "just came to me." Happens a lot because a good astrology reading is as much about listening, interpretation and intuition, as it's about technical aspects of planets. With me, and at that time, my little interjection worked rather well. I received the usual, for me, "Wow, how did you know that?" It's written in the stars, simple enough. Or the planets, because it was chart I was looking at. Look: this works for me, not to edit as I go, except to occasionally remove the bad words. The big deal with Aries? Edit as you go. Don't blurt out. Don't listen to any old "internal voice" or that running monologue that you've got going in your head. That narration is usually quite fine. That story line, its ramifications, and the results of those comments are usually quite good. You're usually "on," whatever that means. However, There's a good chance that you'd say something, and then moments later, regret the comment. "No, that's not really what I meant, I mean, I did mean it, but not like that." You can avoid all of that by a more taciturn outlook. Cause? Mars, in the final stages of working his way out of Capricorn.

Taurus: I developed a technique for working that seems to serve me well. I'll pass it onto you. It's all about the part of the job that I love? The fishing part? Standing on the edge of the river, casting one type of bait after another into "my personal lake?" Yeah, that's the part that's fun. Tough job, but someone's got to do it. Lucky me. The hard part? Getting done with the administrative tasks that support my fishing, like setting my butt in chair long enough to finish this week's horoscopes, overseeing the guys in the back room who do all the website's management, and I personally handle all the incoming orders because, frankly, I don't trust anyone else with birth data. Just easier. So that's the work. I set an arbitrary goal, like finishing up the column, and then I can go and fish. Works quite well, except that sometimes, I get a little distracted, or I'm not at a stopping point, and the sun is just in the right position to cast a good shadow onto the lake, perfect for one of my favorite fishing spots, and.... Don't get distracted with perfect shadows, the most correct time, the right moon sign, or anything like that. Stick to the original plan, and finishing what you started. Administrative tasks can be dull. Someone's go to do it.

Gemini: A Gemini buddy of mine was haranguing me on the phone the afternoon, "So when's it going to be MY time? Huh?" I'm sure that this familiar reference for most of the Geminis. Deal is, it is your time. Right now. Yes, it's actually pretty good. Buddy Gemini is part of a "sales team" and that team is number one. He doesn't close a lot of the sales, but he does provide invaluable team support. Plays well with others. Does wonders for the esprit de corps, plus he does a lot for the regular décor, too. All of that is important. The biggest problem in the upcoming days is that the Gemini spirit isn't noticed for what it always provides. That's bound to hurt a little. Nothing's worse than being under-appreciated. Or not appreciated at all. So when's this going to change? Two option in Gemini-land: figure it out yourself or wait. If you set yourself down and look at the numbers, like that one buddy, on a number one sales "team," then he'll realize that it's okay, and he falls in the "intangibles" category. Caution, as this can lead to arrogance, but I doubt that's going to happen. The other option requires patience, and I've yet to find a good Gemini with a large supply of that material. "Oh, I can be patient, I can wait for minutes on end." See what I mean?

Cancer: The focus isn't on Cancer, not in this little time frame. I know, Cancer would like to be a focal point, only, you're like me, a little marginalized, a little shuffled off to the side, and little left out of the main image. It's not bad. Not by any stretch of the imagination. You're certainly in a much better place as result of the recent events, and the stars are not aligned against you, except for that pesky little Mars thing, but by the time this scope rolls over, you're set for that to be less and less of a problem. Other than Mars? It's okay. You've got a couple of days when someone takes a group photo, and there's the group, and there's the Cancer (or the Fishing Guide to the Stars), off to one side, a little detached. If the photo -- image gets cropped? You're going to get cut out of the scene. It's not bad, just remember that some of the best parts of the story wind up on the cutting room floor. A little judicious editing isn't always a bad thing.

Leo: I started using a tiny lure that had the name of "firecracker." I know where it go its name from, the damned thing looks like a firecracker, a little short stick of a firecracker, lodged in with a spoon, a feather, and it trails a decent little treble hook. Laugh. I did. I bought one on a whim, thinking, "This will never work, but it might make a good earring." Nice idea. But when I was out, middle of the summer, fishing was kind of slow, I popped that "firecracker" (and that's its real name) on the end of the line, and sailed it out over the lake. Little weed bed, not many folks know where it is, in the middle of draw, sort of a creek bottom. Catching fish is very much like astrology -- it's an art. Looking at your planets, I got to thinking that you need to try a firecracker. I don't think that everyone should be using a firecracker, and it's not a lure that works all the time, but a good change of pace, a little lure that was more a whim and an intellectual investment for fun, rather than something that was serious? Give it a try. I think the picture was on the website, and you'll note that I was grinning because it was a stupid lure, a stupid trick, and yet, sometimes a jest works best.

Virgo: I can so just see this happening. It was a while back, and I was poking through the discount bin at a major sporting goods store. There were cartoon characters emblazoned on the face of some fishing tackle. Then there was a Barbie (tm) one. Nice color, too. I mean, Mr. Sagittarius fishing guide, what color tackle box would be most appropriate? But with a trademarked Barbie logo? Plus, in case you were wondering, it was sold under the Shakespeare (fishing) label. The deal was, the box in question? That purple pint-sized container? Perfect size. Right color. Half of the logo fit me. However, one half of the logo was sort of out-of-place for a guy like me. You'd think, especially a Virgo would think, that this wouldn't be a problem. "Kramer, he assures us that he's secure in his manhood, and this shouldn't be a problem." Wrong. Let's say I pulled that box out in the middle of the lake, just imagine the laughing, the guffaws, the ribald comments, and the suggestions I'd suffer. No matter how secure you might be in your Virgo-ness, you're facing a situation where, despite the color being good, the logo on the hardware? Might not be right for you. Or right for the situation. Just because it was in the discount bin, that doesn't mean it would be a good deal.

Libra: The beginning crescent moon, visible in the next few evenings, suggests a new start. It's not until that first crescent appears, the New Moon, then all of this material all start to fit into place. Take a moment, right at sunset, then for up to an hour afterwards and watch that moon. Ain't she purty? Just like a Libra, too. The dark phase of the moon, the final crescent and then the dark part, that's a little period that was more unsettling than your really wanted it to be. When I spun your Libra chart, looking at the way the week unfolds, there are number of disparate elements that are moving apart. And as these elements move further and further apart, life in general, and in your Libra life specifically begins to feel a little less stressed. It's almost as if that first little sliver of a sliver moon, that new crescent just suggests that help is on the way. Plus, looking at some other planets, I know you're a lot less stressed.

Scorpio: South By South West (henceforth referred to as SXSW) is supposedly some kind of a big deal here in Austin. At its peak, there would be hundreds, even thousands of visitors infecting our town. Typically, black-clad, clutching cell phones and purses (or man bags), and traipsing up and down, and all over, doing the tourist thing, plus jamming the local venues. Restaurants, hotels and bars love the business. It's a bit of problem for the normal denizens, though, as our lovely little burg gets choked with people. Love the attention, but then, after a couple of days, it's no longer that amusing. What started as a home-grown music festival spiraled out of control, adding film and internet, as part of the show. Whenever possible, I try to be out-of-town for the end of the ordeal. Problem being, work, and visitors from afar, they all show up at the same time. Now, whether you're planning on attending SXSW this year, or even if you have some other "big business deal" happening, you'll notice that your Scorpio self is being required to perform. Might just be a simple presentation. Might be more. My Scorpio friend in the service industry, in Austin? Nothing but two weeks of overtime. There is a bonus to all of this work, polish up your Scorpio presentation and plan on being rather busy pitching -- no matter where you are.

Sagittarius: I was settling into working at the computer -- looks a lot like typing -- and I realized my coffee cup was getting precious close to empty. I jumped up, and when I was in the kitchenette, I realized that the kitchen floor really needed to be swept. So I grabbed the tiny broom and did a quick cleaning task. Then I noticed I really could empty the trash, which, of course, necessitated putting on footwear. So all I did was bag the trash and leave inside the front door. So far, I'd managed to waste a whole hour, or more, when all I wanted was to do was get some coffee. Plus, I hadn't left the small confines of home, either. It's not like this is a large place, trailers being what they are, and the faux linoleum on the kitchen "floor" isn't much more than about three or four square feet. But this series of endeavors and diversions? That's what is going on in Sagittarius. If it's not one thing, then it's another. The key, I suppose, is to limit the diversions. If I could just stick to one home project, I'd be in a little bit better shape. But I couldn't complete that while the kitchen floor needed a good dusting. It just goes around and around.

Capricorn: It was a cold, clear morning. Which means, given local conditions, the day would warm up to shorts and sandals by noon, or so. It's matter of letting the day and its weather catch up with what I want to do. Or what Capricorn's want to do. It's matter of letting everything catch up. In this case, it was the weather, and I was just waiting on the day to warm to my lifestyle. Likewise, you've got to be a little more patient with the events -- and people -- to let the situations warm to your Capricorn satisfaction. All a function of Mars, and he gives you an extra dose of "hurry-up" feelings. Seems like no one is moving fast enough. If I didn't wait, it would be still be a tad chilly for shorts. I know it's going to be warm enough, eventually, but it's that waiting thing. Patience, the rest of the world will be up to speed and up to a more temperate climate in good time. You won' be chilly, I'll promise that.

Aquarius: Ever get that feeling that "they" are out to get you? That sense of impending doom? That prescience, little black cloud that seems to be following you around? Yeah, that one. The fish around here are pretty much onto my tricks, so what I started doing was throwing a "junkyard," two lures, tied inline, so it looks like a smaller fish is being chased by slightly larger fish. The first lure in the line, that's like Aquarius. You have this feeling that there's something following you around, only you're not sure what it is. Just like that first lure in the line. The one who is following along behind you? That's Mars. He's still back there, lurking along, looking like he's ready to swallow you whole. Here's the good part: on my fishing line? There's between one and three feet of leader that separate the two lures, at all times. So like my fishing rig, you're not going to actually get caught by that "thing" that's back there lurking. Doesn't stop the sense that there's something back there, nor does it alleviate the problem with Mars burning through Capricorn, but there you have it. It's a graphic explanation about why there's that sense of doom. Some fishing guide set it up this way, just to tease you.

Pisces: I'm not even sure what a "salt-butter rogue" is, but whatever it is, it sure sounds like a bait that I've used before. I can see a tag line for it, too: "Salt Butter Rogues, Bass love 'em!" Works for me. Would probably work for a delicate Pisces, too, even though, I'm pretty sure that the quote is one of those biting, scathing replies from one particular character in that play. And what does bait, marketing, and Elizabethan playacting have to do with Pisces? Lots. I'm looking at three very different influences kicking around in Pisces. Birthdays are important, and it's still Pisces birthday month, so that's good. The unstable yet always interesting dichotomy between Uranus in Pisces and Neptune in Aquarius is still a big player, and the whole mess is accentuated by the lunar phase. What starts out as a slow week rapidly accelerates, and the upcoming weekend is good, and when that's over? The week after should be even better. You'll notice that there's someone's picked up the pace on your sweet Pisces self. As the tempo gets pushed faster and fast, weekend unfolding into a new week, get ready to enjoy the ride.

About the author: Born and raised in a small town in East Texas, Kramer Wetzel spent years honing his craft in trailer park in South Austin. He hates writing about himself in third person.