“Thou fortune’s champion that dost never fight
But when her humorous ladyship is by
To teach thee safety!”
Shakespeare’s King John [III.i.44-6]
Aries: I was paging through some notes, the accumulated material I work with, and I found a simple URL, that I couldn’t remember what it was linked to. I didn’t bother going to site itself, I just looked and wondered why I’d written down “beauties ltd dot com.” Probably a graphic site full of women that were rather chilly because those models weren’t wearing any clothes, at least, that was my assumption. I forgot about it until a little later, and I looked at the address again. It was “Beau Ties ltd dot com.” What the site was? All about bow ties. You know, the colorful ribbons some folks wear, the different yet remarkably nice form of fashion. Or fashion that’s never really in, so it’s never really out? It was simple web-based mistake. I’d confused some note I’d taken and wondered about it all in a less than savory light at some point. You’ve got a little bit of time on your hands, maybe not a lot, but as you page through some old notes, you might want to stop and think about what it is that you’re looking at. Personally, I’m torn about shopping on the web. Sometimes it’s a good idea, sometimes, it’s not. But I wouldn’t be thinking about Bow Ties if it hadn’t been for that site. Before you jump to conclusions, examine what it is that you’re looking at. Those notes might be shorthand for something more interesting than you first think.
Taurus: The beginning of the Taurus birthdays are in full swing. After what you’ve been through, anything’s got to be better. This year holds a few good changes for you. That much I promise. With Miss Venus idling alongside your Sun, life should have a nice, rosy glow to it. Doesn’t much matter where you are, that exquisite sense of Taurus taste is back, and it’s back with flair. That means I’m willing to suggest that the Taurus Birthday Holiday is going to be a good one. Period. In fact, I’ve decided, kind of an arbitrary decision, but I’ve decided that I won’t accept anything less than “life is good, and I had a great birthday party” as an incoming message from the land of Taurus. I know that there are some extenuating circumstances, and I realize that one-twelfth of the population can’t all enjoy this all at the same time, but I still figure that it’s pretty good. Old adage from the fishing crew I run with, “Damn fine day, right?” “Huh? We haven’t boated any fish yet, that’s not so good….” “Look, you’re not at a desk, we’re on the lake, the sun is shining, it’s good. A fish would just make it excellent….” Get the point? Birthday time is good, might be excellent, if you use the right bait.
Gemini: Stop, right here, right now. Your usual sense of taste, your usual sense of what’s good? Your normally excellent Gemini sensibilities? All gone. Like, they took a vacation or something. This doesn’t spell out doom and misfortune, it’s just not a good time to be acquiring new stuff. I could be more specific, but I’m not going to be. You’re thinking a new couch, a new bedspread, perhaps some designer towels for the Gemini trailer’s bathroom. Or maybe there’s a poster you’re thinking about. In one case, I’ve got a Gemini buddy drawing up plans for a new tattoo. Great time to sketch out the idea, bad time to get the ink work done. A couch, those towels, that matted poster? Those are items you can, if your discover in a few weeks that you really don’t like the item, those are things you can unload. Something permanent, like a tattoo? That’s worse. Can’t just say, “Oh, let’s erase that, and start over.” Sun’s in Taurus. So’s Venus. Good time to put those ideas down on paper, but not such a good time to commit to anything yet. Play with ideas? Sure. Get ink installed on your body? Maybe not such a good idea these next couple of days. Watch out for permanent decisions.
Cancer: I’d taken a trip to Louisiana, to visit a series of casinos there. Some are on riverboats, some are land-locked. It was an interesting trip, and I had fun. On the first evening, I kept saying, “Daddy needs his mortgage payment,” and one pull on a machine lever yielded the requisite amount. I tucked those earnings into my back pocket. Then, a little later, I’d doubled my cash on a roulette system that really did work. The trick, though, was knowing when to stop. Since I’d already won my rent money, I could just play with that doubled amount. Which I did, like any fool in a casino will do, I tried several locations, and I kept watching the available play money dwindle. I got back down to the sum I’d started with, and I stopped. Sometimes, the easiest way to double your money, and I really mean this for my Cancer friends, is to fold that cash over, and just stick it in your back pocket.
Leo: Some aspects in the Life of Leo, the very best Fixed Fire Sign, are going well. Other areas seem to be a little troubling. How do you weigh what’s important and what’s not important? It’s a valid question, and as the moon gets smaller and smaller in the sky, plus the Sun is racing along through Taurus, along with Miss Venus, the question about how to separate the important from the not so important, that’s the crux of this week’s biscuit. Many years ago, in Austin, there was a hamburger/restaurant chain called “Dan’s.” After it established itself, the couple running the chain split up — apparently — and that single chain become Fran’s in some locations and remained Dan’s in other locations. Which one has the best biscuits? Is it a Fran’s or Dan’s? I don’t recall, and it’s one of those questions that bears further research, but from what I’ve tasted, I tend to suggest it was Fran’s, the one down yonder, deep on the south side of town. My suggestion about the best biscuit in town could be argued, too. While the best biscuit in town is a worthy question, a noble pursuit, I’m not sure that your Leo should be worrying about these kinds of questions. Your questions might be a little more important than the aesthetics of local bread-making. Although, biscuits and gravy? That’s an important part of life.
Virgo: I stared in wonder, amazement and disgust, as one of my more favored barista-boys was wearing a tie. Wonder from looking at him with an actual tie done in a Half-Windsor, around his neck. Amazement that that he even owned a tie, and disgust that he was wearing a tie. “No, see, it’s strictly optional, therefore, it’s okay.” The tie was old, but I’m not enough of fashion person myself to judge the exact age. Might have been older than the guy wearing the tie. Muted, diagonal stripes. The colors came close, but didn’t match, the plaid cowboy shirt with faux pearl snaps. Got the image? A study in clashing contrasts. Jarring, clashing contrasts. Jarring, clashing contrasts that, because the colors were muted, the whole effect didn’t catch up with me on the first shot. It wasn’t until I was digging around in my wallet and looked up to hand the kid a dollar when I realized what I was looking at. I’m not one who is qualified to make sartorial judgments, not based on what I myself would wear. So I can’t suggest that the kid’s attire was bad. But I suspect, that Virgo lad? It had the desired effect. Muted ensemble, but one that was definitely a little different. A casual glance won’t reveal anything but a more thorough examination will.
Libra: The downside of the moon’s phase is actually a little tickle for Libra. There’s a hint that this has to do with work (career) material. It’s a chance to get some work done. I’ve had mornings where the phone, voice mail, the cat, girlfriends, and assorted other problems kept me busy. Prevented me from actually working, such as it is. So in the coming couple of days, what’s going on in Libra is a little bit of quiet — provided — big point here — you tend to what’s needing to get down. Could be something as routine as filing some paperwork. Could be really easy, mindless tasks that need your Libra attention. Could be far more difficult tasks, some action that requires utter and complete concentration. The deal is, I’m promising a chance for that utter and complete concentration to take place. The quiet is good. The solitude is problematic, but you’ve got one project that you can work on, if you’re willing to focus your attention. I got to looking at the planets, and the list of items that needed attention, and I realized that this could be as simple as laundry. But there’s a simple rhythm you can establish, and a pile of clean clothes, maybe in throw in some of that rinse stuff that makes everything smell good? There’s a sense of getting some tasks down that just feels better.
Scorpio: There was this one setup I used to use. It was kind of plastic bait, a little piece of animated, wiggly plastic arranged on a hook in such a fashion so as to entice the fish. Preferably a black bass, and preferably of the 3 to 5 pound variety (although larger would be welcome, too). For several years, this one kind of bait always worked. Worked and worked well. But sometime around the first or second month of this year, that one kind of bait quit working. Other tricks, other patterns, or maybe, just maybe, the fish were catching onto the tricks. Or not catching onto the tricks. The tricks weren’t working anymore. Know the feeling? Means it was time for me to change baits. Means it’s time for you to decide if you’re going to keep throwing the same baits at the fish, baits that are clearly no longer working? As long as Taurus is going on, it’s time to decide that the fishes, the Scorpio targets? If they don’t seem to be interested in what you’re throwing at them? Consider changing to a different lure. Or, at the very least, do like I did, and I switched up colors. The new cotton-candy color plastics are working for me.
Sagittarius: It was hot, dry, sunny day in South Texas. I was on a two-lane blacktop highway, headed someplace. On Texas rural routes, it’s considered common courtesy for a slower moving vehicle to pull over to the shoulder of the road and let a quicker car pass when there might be oncoming traffic. I watched as an older truck hauling cattle pulled over to the shoulder and waved me past. In the split second while I could see the road ahead, I also noticed that a dirt driveway, cattle guard at the gate, dumped into the highway. When the cattle hauler moved over, its wheels kicked up a small plume of dust, leftover detritus from where that dirt track intersected the pavement. It was small cloud of dust. If it hadn’t been for impeccable timing, I’d have never observed the tiny swirl, like a miniature dust devil, climbing up in the space vacated by the truck. It was just a small observation, no big deal. So it’s been dry in the area for the last few days. It’s been dry like that in Sagittarius, too. It was almost a pretty sight, too, that little column of red dust swirling around in the air. Something’s kicking up a dust trail these days. The big clue? Can you follow that trail? Does that column mean that there’s oncoming traffic you should watch out for? Or is it just a quick spin of the air, nothing more? Keep your eyes on the road ahead.
Capricorn: Fish tales: I’d stepped out the door the other week, early on a spring morning, like really early, and the sun was just starting to pop its unruly and bright head up over the yonder horizon. I had tied a new lure onto the end of the line, and I gave that lure a good sling. Landed most near where I wanted it to go, out in the middle of the weed-bed in the river in front of me. I started to retrieve, reeling in the line, and I felt someone on the other end. Some nice, little bass took a tentative interest in the lure. I yanked, failed to set the hook and wound up with a lure flying through the air back at me — while I was reeling, hoping it was a fish. No luck. Seconds later, almost as if it were all choreographed, that same fish does a little out-of-water experience. Talk about being taunted! First he teased the lure then he barrel-rolled to show off. It’s Mars, it’s the way he’s sliding on towards Pisces these days, and it’s not really the fish. But it sure felt like that one fish was toying with me, the other morning.
Aquarius: Mars is making a hasty exit, after the weekend is over. That changes the tempo of the Life of Aquarius, and I’d like to think that this change in beat is smooth, easy transition. A gentle shift, not one of those abrupt, hard-handed changes. An old truck I used to drive, it was a little finicky. In order to hit reverse, the truck had to be at a dead stop. No problem, it would clunk right on into the reverse gear. But if the wheels were moving, just the slightest, even just rolling, like on an incline? Terrible grinding noise, and the gears in the transmission wouldn’t engage. I think there was a prototype “lock-out” sensor, although, on a truck that old, it might just have been age, wear and tear. But the point was, had to be a full, dead stop, before slipping it into reverse. Just one of the idiosyncrasies of an elder vehicle. Each one is different, and after a couple of turns behind the wheel, it’s easy to make adjustments to such driving patterns and skill-sets required. Just like that truck, though, and its slightly balky tranny? There are little adjustments to your driving, or, more important, to your drive. Mars. Make this a smooth transition, as Mars “exeunt.” Come to a full stop before you shift gears with Mars.
Pisces: Would you go dumpster diving for $100? Good question. I thought about this question while I was looking at the trailer park’s convenient trash removal service, a.k.a., the dumpster. I’d found rebate coupon for $99, if I could provide the UPC (barcode) label from the product’s box. The box I just thrown away, not 12 hours before. So the question was whether or not I wanted to brave whatever else might be considered trash, and whatever else might be living in the dumpster, just to get to the end of that box so I could trim off the UPC code, and send it in to claim my $99 bonus. Is it worth it? These are the questions I was faced with on a warm, late April morning. Raccoon and Possum use that dumpster as a food source. I suppose, for those rodents, it’s like a grocery store, or maybe even a specialty deli. So I got to thinking about that coupon, the mail-in-rebate, and the $99. What would you do? I did what anyone who’s ever felt the icy fingers of debt creeping up around their wallets, I opened up the side of the dumpster and pretended I couldn’t smell anything. I dug around, found the correct box, and I just left it in place, not bothering to dig it out, and I cut off the barcode. This affirms a few points, that yes, a good Pisces will dig around in the trash for money, and yes, some tasks are not as bad as you think, as long as you suspend your ability to smell. It’s Mars and he’s just entering Pisces, and he’s going to bring you to a new high, or a new low, sort of depends.
