“The world’s large tongue
Proclaims you for a man replete with mocks.”
Shakespeare’s Love’s Labour’s Lost [V.ii.832-3]
Aries: One planet. That’s all we’re looking at. One planet Mercury. No longer in apparent retrograde motion. Or won’t be, by the end of the scope. Problem being, as an Aries-type personality, you’re gong to be inclined to jump right ahead with all the usual vigor, now that the problems with the planet have been cleared up.This where a little patience pays off. Look: it’s your birthday, or, at the very least, it’s your birthday time. The way the other planets stack up, notably Venus and the Sun itself, plus a tiny push from the Moon, you’re going to be doing okay. It bodes well, especially if your birthday is in this next week. But there’s going to be a persistent Mercury problem, not for much longer, but for a little while yet. And until that clears up in another week or two, be prepared for the normal mayhem to continue.
Taurus: I was stuck in a motel in West Texas, and I was flipping through the channels. Cable TV is a great equalizer, but when I’m lucky, or particularly perspicacious, I find a truly local channel. Flavor and color are important. I noticed that the advertising ran towards truck accessories, large animal veterinarian supplies, and rodeos. That was it. It was then that I realized I’d found a truly local channel. Just what I was looking for. I wasn’t looking for large animal vet supplies, nor was I seeking any more truck accessories, but what I did find was a channel that was playing to local audiences. My bet was it what everyone else was watching, too, because that seemed to be where the local companies were betting their advertising dollars. I enjoyed the way there was a twang in the announcers’ voices, the local color, and phone numbers that didn’t have an area code in front of them. Truly local material. Plus, looking at what the resident variations of marketing were like gives a good shot of what is really going on — it lends flavor. Little details are important, and as Mercury starts to correct his errant path, the details, like the nuance of culture and language, it’s more important than before.
Gemini: I’ve collated a little, almost random, collection of data that suggests most Gemini sun-sign folks tend to move faster than any other sign. Gemini tend to think in advance. In fact, they’re busy with next week while this week is still going on. Next week, next month, next year, always looking forward. Assuming that this information is reasonably factual, then, as far as the Gemini set is concerned, Mercury is no longer backwards. And since he’s no longer in apparent retrograde motion, then life is better. Sure, works for me. Does it work for you? Hope so. The fallout from this latest round of Mercurial Mayhem still needs to be dealt with, as far as you’re concerned. There’s still some sweeping up that needs attending to. Someone — non-Gemini — created a mess, and it’s going to be up to your Gemini self to clean it up. Someone’s got to do it, and it looks like you’re the designated Mercury Clean Up Crew. The advantage of looking further down the Gemini pike? The purpose of reading about this kind of designated clean-up action? You’re now aware that someone’s gong to tap you to right what was wrong, correct what was incorrect, and turn incoherence into coherent thought. It’s just matter of realizing that Mercury has left a few vestiges of what’s wrong, and this clean-up project might take a little longer than you anticipate.
Cancer: couple of weeks ago, I was checking out of a motel where I’d been for a working a convention. I’d booked my room rate online, and I’d gotten a reasonably good deal, at least, I figured it was about low as I could expect in that town. At the check-out, though, I glanced at the bill before I signed the statement. The hotel had added about 15% to the bill. Deal was, when I checked in, I initialed a spot on the form that guaranteed a certain rate. The extra 15% was added by the computer, the desk clerk, or maybe, by the way Mercury was retrograde. I’d like to think that much hilarity ensued as we wrangled about the price. But sadly, that wasn’t the case. I was firm, but polite, as I held them to the letter of our contract. What’s so weird, and why this is a good tale? I don’t usually bother to check the motel’s statement. I just sign on the dotted line and it all goes up to accounting. Look: little mistakes, or price-gouging, can occur. Instead of getting upset, it might have been a clerk’s fault, might have been computer glitch, might have been old-fashioned bait and switch, but none of that matters. Read before you sign. Polite but firm is a good way to approach the necessary problem resolution difficulties.
Leo: I was looking through an online-photo album, holiday (digital) snapshots from a Leo friend. The images, as near as I could tell, had been lightly retouched, my guess would be Apple’s iPhoto, then the pictures were uploaded to the web. Digital chicanery is quite all right by me. I noticed that someone had been toying with the photos quite a bit. In the background of one picture, a license plate was reversed. Now, it could’ve been a backwards tag on the car, but I was guessing, more than likely, the image had just been flopped around, on a horizontal access, then cropped for content. Leaving a little telltale visual clue like the backwards license plate? If I were just looking at the picture, and not worrying about details, I’d never notice. But I do tend to look at details like that. It was a good left-handed photo, but it didn’t make a good right-handed photo. Which was why it was flopped around. Even though that was a sleight of hand, it didn’t detract from the image, nor did it take away from the art of working with such an image. Still, certain folks like me? We’re inclined to catch just such Leo tricks. I’m not saying your shouldn’t play around with manipulating an image, I’m just suggesting that you be careful with the outcome — a nefarious astrologer might catch it.
Virgo: I was chatting up a young lass, and she kept wondering why I wasn’t partaking of any alcoholic libations at the moment. Not being a much of a drinking man these days, I begged off because I didn’t want to suffer with a hangover. She immediately whipped out a bottle of pills, to me, frankly a quack medicine, and she extolled the virtues of the “hangover prevention medicine.” I read the label carefully, out of curiosity. It was the instructions that held the answer, “Take two pills before alcohol, with two glasses of water, take two pills before going sleep, with two glasses of water.” Good advice and lot the list of ingredients? Near as I could tell, it wasn’t that important. Sugars, calcium, vitamin C, normal elements probably found in any multi-vitamin. So what was the deal? And why did that one Virgo lass make unrealistic claims for her “medicine?” Some patent medicine actually works, especially when following the instructions. I’m pretty sure what helped with that “hangover prevention medicine” was more function of the water consumed and the included sugars rather than any really medicinal value. But what do I know? I’m not a Virgo. That patent medicine seemed like a lucky charm, for that one Virgo. We might laugh at your lucky charm, but if it works for you? Get another drink.
Libra: I was supposed to meet a Libra for a reading. Beautiful woman, wonderfully appointed, and rather engaging. I look forward to meeting her for a reading every six months or so. We set a time and place, and I waited at the coffee shop for an hour or more. No voice mail. No e-mail, something must’ve come up. A day after the missed appointment, I got an e-mail full of apologies, computer broke, business kept her busy, could we reschedule? Of course. No problem. I’m not usually understanding, but when I was looking at that Libra’s chart, when I made the appointment, I noticed, that Mercury, Aries, Jupiter, all of the movement of the planets, the signs and so forth, I just had a feeling that there would be a mix-up. Normally, I try and confirm appointments. Since I didn’t, and since this is a regular client, I didn’t bill her for the missed appointment, and made good use of my extra hour accessing the web, and doing some website-related chores. We rescheduled for next when Mercury is no longer backwards in the opposing sign. Not everyone is as understanding as I am, though, and that’s a careful consideration to make, when you start setting outside appointments.
Scorpio: Work and distractions are the focus. I was supposed to be “working” and I noticed that I didn’t have any bait tied on the end of one pole. Stopped typing and opened up a tackle box, affixed a certain lure to the end of the pole, thinking it would work a little later in the week, just fine. Then I noticed the garbage really could be emptied, but before I did that, I wanted to scoop out the cat box. Then there was certain Scorpio chart, I wanted to check that first, before I “worked” on the scope. Then I thought about that bait I’d just attached, decided that it might not be best, and I clipped it off, and tied on another lure. So far, I have done zero “work,” at least in the traditional sense. That’s why work and distractions are critical. We’re just emerging from Mr. Mercury going backwards. You’re normal, laser-like Scorpio focus is returning. However, it’s not all lined up yet, and you need to be careful about work. Or distractions. Or be careful about distractions that you package as part of the job but are really just distractions from what you’re supposed to be doing.
Sagittarius: With Tax Day just around the corner, muddling through accounting details is not fun. But there’s almost a sense of joy that comes when the tax return is done, and life is better. Is life getting better in the Sagittarius world? Yes. The weekend that’s approaching is probably less than wonderful. Not bad, but there’s a low spot, a temporary turn in momentum, a time when a nap is in order. I was out, a couple of weeks ago, on the boat, and my fishing buddy was tirelessly working a little stretch of a creek bed, a place where the grass line dropped off into the channel, and the position gave us a chance to work both the shallow flats and the deeper channel. This is a good spot. By mid-morning, though, I was worn out. Up early, out on the water, still a little brisk in the pre-dawn hours, warming up nicely, and I wasn’t having any luck. Got the image? April’s sun was high overhead, and I stretched out for a quick rest. Shut my eyes for all of about three minutes and my fishing buddy got a strike, set the hook, and reeled in a decent fish. Not a monster, but one worthy of a picture, at least. But the luck didn’t hit, that fish didn’t bite, until I stretched out. Just the way it goes. Don’t be afraid to take a little break in order to help move matters along. It’s getting better — right after the three-minute nap.
Capricorn: I like playing slot machines. It’s pass time, not really a hobby, and I can usually make enough off of my winnings to justify a trip. There’s one machine, or one machine in a specific location, and that machine once gave me enough money (from a single pull of the lever) to pay for my little vacation. Deal is, or was, I kept going back that same machine, every time, expecting it to pay off again. Never did hit it big again. I probably put most of that money back into the one machine. Okay, my gambling example? Stop when you’re ahead. Plus, with this whole Mercury, Aries, Jupiter, Libra movement? You’re going to get one lucky break. Promise. But after that? Stop. Just stop right there. You’re ahead of the rest of us, and going back, repeating the same process over and over? That’s going to yield nothing but frustration for your self.
Aquarius: I wrote a short story, many years ago, where I tried to tell a familiar tale from a different point of view. The story was rejected by a couple of literary magazines, so I just put it in the “good try, not marketable” file and left it at that. I was thinking about that story — it’s a familiar literary device these days — and I was wondering if this was an idea that you could use in Aquarius land. The story I used was one of Chaucer’s tales, and I tried to tale it from the point-of-view of the much put-upon antagonist. The bad guy was always getting a terrible rap, so I tried to explain it from his world view. How everyone was always picking on him and how he was being mistreated, and if he had a union card, he certainly wouldn’t be given such bad reputation. Try my idea, under the last of the Mercury confusion, try looking at a tired situation, a tale that’s been told many times, only, try telling it from the other side. Take the anti-hero, the bad guy, the evildoer, the one who usually fails, and see what that character’s motivations, reactions, feelings and internal monologue is like. It’s about looking at some familiar situation and then, in the Aquarius mind’s eye, rendering that scene from a completely different vantage point. Step outside, and look at the given scenario through the bad guy’s eyes. Makes for an interesting way to tell a story.
Pisces: One of my friends, his name is certainly not Bubba, was cruising online dating sites. He was lonely, looking for love, and with the beginning of April and all, he was ready for something — someone — new. He’d started an e-mail correspondence with one young lady. After a few rounds of back and forth e-mail, they exchanged pictures. “Whoa! She’s hot, dude, check out this picture!” He showed it to me. I’ve played with digital images too much to really trust such pictures. Plus, there was another hint. The female in the image was certainly cute and so forth, but the picture was rather cropped. It was long and thin. Her arms were missing. There had been, at the time of the photo, a male on either arms, hence her broad and engaging smile. At least, that’s my guess. It’s not like I haven’t seen this before, this kind of image, one where the picture is cropped in such a fashion as to indicate that something important, some element that has deep meaning, is intentionally left out. Two points: carefully trying to pass off something that’s cut like that, and, be careful before accepting such obviously modified data at its face value.
