Fishing Guide to the Stars
by Kramer Wetzel
(c) 2005, 2006 by Kramer Wetzel for astrofish.net
For the Week starting: 1.19.2006
“You, minion, are too saucy.”
Shakespeare’s Two Gentlemen of Verona (I.ii.92)
Perfect introduction to Aquarius.
Aries: There’s a special concoction I’m famous for, it’s a double shot of espresso and a big scoop ice cream. Personally, I prefer that trendy little joint on South Congress, in Austin. One side of the street has the designer ice cream (Mexican Vanilla) and the other place has the espresso. The trick is to remember to order the espresso in a large cup so there’s room for the ice cream. And enjoy the rush as the caffeine hits, then the sugar rush and finally, the sugar crash. It’s a quick roller coaster of a ride, and it tastes so good. Between Mars and Venus, one going one direction and one going the other direction, I was thinking about this mixture of elements, and that espresso float is what I thought about. So good, and yet, there is the side effect, once the coffee wears off, or once the ice cream’s significant calories are burned, or whatever it is that happens in the Aries biology when you ingest just such an item. I had one, the other afternoon. The empty cup was still on the desk the next morning, redolent in the heady aroma of coffee beans and vanilla. Coming or going? Not sure? Blame the planets. Or the blame the effects of the espresso shake I just suggested.
Taurus: I was picking up a newspaper to read, and probably a lottery ticket, and as I was about to leave the convenience store, a small, locally owned place, the clerk asked me if I was going to the coffee shop across the street. But of course. Would I be kind enough to take that guy, who just left ahead of me, his cell phone? I picked up the cell phone and walked out the door, and then, in my loudest command voice, got the guy’s attention. He’s a Taurus. Cell phone disaster was averted by my kind intercession, and by my certain willingness to help some unnamed soul out. Now, there are two parts to this tale, me and the interchange with the clerk, and me, and the interchange with Mr. Taurus. I’m not saying that your Taurus self will walk out of a store without your cell phone, but I am suggesting that you check twice, maybe three times, as Mr. Mars tends to make you forget little actions that can have dire consequences. Or large inconveniences. Occasionally, though a nice lad like myself will step in, or step out, and try to lend hand. Don’t get too distracted.
Gemini: I was wrestling with a point in the Gemini chart for the moment, and I was trying to get a grip on how to explain what was happening, an inner voice, I tend to refer to as “The narrator” interceded on behalf of the Gemini section of the sky, and that running commentary provided some much needed insight. “Hi. Me again.” You know, that voice? The narrator? Yeah, that one. “I’m back, and I have a few things to say. Let me explain….” The Gemini inner voice is doing a lot of chattering. Some of the inner voice’s work is good, but you can’t trust it all. “Oh but you can trust me. I’m the omniscient narrator. I know what’s going to happen next….” Got a voice in your Gemini head, someone that might not be interested in what’s best? Are you going to trust this narrator person? There’s a second problem, and I don’t have a solution for that, either, but occasionally, that “inner voice” becomes a little more vocal, as in, you start muttering and the person standing next to you gets to listen to that inner voice as you let it speak. Sometimes, this can be good. Sometimes, though, a little comment, like, “I didn’t just say that?” Maybe it’s good time to make sure that you’ve got a tight grip on what that inner voice guy is doing.
Cancer: Some years ago, I bought a little bookcase, only about this high, and I set it by the front door. I used it to store epic astrology reference tomes, and mostly, the books gathered dust. I got tired of looking at a layer of dust on the books, and I needed to space for fishing gear. I eventually let a neighbor have the bookshelf and the epic tomes that went unused? They found their way to a used bookstore. Credit for something new. It’s all about recycling. I was trying to figure a way to get more space in here, and I was doing a little rearranging. I thought about another bookshelf, but I don’t really have the room for it. I thought about ways to arrange material, and I came up with a solution. Instead of buying something new, I just rearranged what was there, and I gained more space, more order, less clutter, by “editing” my household. Just such an exercise is good for you, too. A new book case would be ideal, a place for all that incoming data, the new books that are getting released these days. But a better solution might just be cutting out what you don’t need. It’s all about expanding and growing by letting some items go.
Leo: I hopped into a cab at Shady Acres, destination: Austin Airport. Purpose of the trip? Business. The driver took one look in his rearview, and made a comment about smoking pot. Me smoking pot. “Yeah, that’s what I do, fire up a big one right before I go to the airport, only way to fly, right?” He grinned. I half expected some kind of secret handshake or something. I don’t consume herbal remedies such as he was talking about. Not my style, but something about my style suggested — to that driver — that I did. Instead of engaging in banter about what I do — or don’t — do? I just sat in the back of the cab and tried to figure out, if I were stoned, how would I look? Glazed? Giggle at everything? Not care? I tried to get that look going because it was a lot easier than explaining that I live like a monk and I abstain from many presumed activities. The way I see the planets lining up — back to that Saturn issue — Leo would do well to imitate my actions. Instead of being yourself, just go ahead and be whatever the other people think you should be. I played dumb, and my situation was much relieved. I didn’t have to endure too much pointless cabby banter.
Virgo: I was traveling with a companion, and she was snapping pictures with her camera. Tourist thing, you know? She snapped a couple of shots, and I grabbed the camera, turning it over in my hands, looking for a plug — to download the pictures. “Where’s the cable to connect this baby?” I asked. “Kramer, there isn’t one. It’s a camera. It uses film.” I was dumbstruck. Just about every Luddite I know has a digital camera, and I’ve got one of those laptops that will plug and play just about any digital camera. Makes it easy, I can grab a photo from any one in the traveling party’s camera. Usually. Except, I was up against a wall here, a regular camera. Film. What an archaic notion. She got a couple of good pictures on that trip, the problem? They were printed pictures. Nothing digital. No way to upload a quick web page, or make it available for everyone, just a picture, printed out from film. Weird, in my mind. I also looked a little foolish, turning that camera over and over, trying to figure out where the modern connection was. I can save you the pain of looking like I did, if you pay attention here. Look at the camera (or other object of your attention) and make note of certain details, like, maybe it’s a film camera and not an electronic device. It could happen.
Libra: “Yeah, my luck’s changed all right. I got rid of the loser boyfriend.” What happened? “He broke my knuckle.” How’d that happen? “He hit it with his jaw.” While this might not sound like a typical Libra response to some, the person doing the talking, a comely lass of excellent proportions, she was just reacting to the way things were. At least, that’s my guess, judging from the back story, the plot line, and incidental anecdotal information. I’m hardly one to suggest violence, but in typical Libra fashion, she did position the parts of the tale in way that made her look even better. It’s really a function of Mars, and his relative position to your Libra self, and this kind of behavior isn’t without some degree of forewarning. Regretfully, not everyone reads these scopes, nor, for that matter, do many folks read the warning signs coming from the Libra section of the sky. In order to avoid a broken knuckle? Make sure the warning signs are clear. Or, the alternative moral? Don’t piss her off.
Scorpio: I chuckled while I was having a cup of coffee, the other afternoon. Little Scorpio guy, real new on the job — at least — new at this one place. Where I was at. Cute guy, if tattoos crawling out from underneath his collar is a look that appeals. Soft-spoken, and gentle, he already had a gaggle of giggling young girls as customers, although, adoring fans might be a better term. Groupies, if you will. What was adorable? He seemed oblivious to the fact that the young girls all favored him highly. Me and another barista were joking about this, and how that Scorpio guy was oblivious to his rating on the popularity scale, or why he was favored by so many of the female patrons. This isn’t such an unusual situation, and it speaks volumes to the way events are unfolding with the Scorpio contingent. Popular? More so than ever. Oblivious to this new-found popularity? But of course, as only a shy and demur Scorpio can be. What to do? How about a little inaction? Observe. Sit back and let the wheels turn at their pace instead of trying to force an issue. We might not be laughing at you, you know. I was amused because that darling Scorpio guy was so sincere and almost immune to feminine wiles and charms, such as giggling young girls can be.
Sagittarius: I was out, early one morning, kind of chilly, and I was fishing. I looked up at some of the branches that overhang the river, right in front of my little trailer. There’s a bobber hanging from one branch a wild cast did that, and trying to snake the line out of the tree resulted in a pretty impressive snarl, hence the “ornament” now adorning that tree. There’s another spot, a stump, and there’s a bobber floating above it. Supposedly, it’s to mark where that stump is. Realistically? I hung a hook in the trunk. There’s a weed-less worm, hanging just out of reach, again, a line twirled around a thin branch, and I’ll admit that the tree won that round. Since I consider this little section of the riverfront as an extension of my trailer’s living room, these are like Xmas ornaments to me, subtle reminders of what does, or doesn’t, work. This is about decorations, and home decorating items. All of my examples are misplaced, but in certain way, there’s a homey charm to it all. Now that the weather is turning cold again, and the leaves have all been shed, I can see my decorating scheme in all its glory. With Venus backwards? It’s all how you look at what you’ve done. Success? Failure? Just a little decorating, albeit, not in a fashion that I intended. Or you intended. Still, there’s a Sagittarius charm to it all.
Capricorn: I was reading a little “fishing calendar,” filled with hot tips and tricks. “The best time to fish is from first light until about 8:00 AM,” the tipster suggested. If the sun comes up about 7:30 AM, like it does right now, that’s only about half an hour for fishing. Doesn’t work out, not according to me. The best time to fish is whenever you can. Venus, remember her? She’s out to thwart fishing times. Or other times when your dear Capricorn self wants something to happen. Instead of getting upset? The best time to fish is whenever you can. What makes it a better time is when the fish are actually biting. Here, locally, the preferred fish is bass, and most of them are mating and preparing for the spring spawn. What’s that got to do with fishing, or, for that matter, Capricorn? With Venus in a backwards state, the spring spawn, the best time to fish and other details that are related to this? There’s going to be problems. Maybe not big problems, but then, the best time to fish is when you can. Tipster wisdom? Doesn’t always work — stick to what you know.
Aquarius: I was out to have some pizza the other evening. Local spot, dining with a Pisces and a Sagittarius. On the table, there was the requisite cheese and red pepper, like all pizza places have, then there was another condiment, looked like a salt. It was. Garlic salt. I watched while the Pisces girl very carefully poured a tiny amount of the garlic salt onto her slice of pizza. I grabbed the shaker and just up-ended it right over my slice. A veritable torrent of powder issued forth, “Oops,” I said. I shook a little off onto a second slice and then proceeded to enjoy the meal with the extra dose of garlic powder included. If only I’d been careful like that Pisces. Even the other Sagittarius was cautious. Whether it’s condiments for a pizza, or some other action in the Life Aquarius, you would benefit from being a little more circumspect. Be a little more cautious. Or, just be careful, so you can avoid loading your pizza with extra flavoring, like I did. The upside to the torrential downpour of garlic powder? No vampires.
Pisces: Let’s get the year rolling with Venus being backwards. “That’s another fine mess you’ve gotten me into,” the Pisces said. I just report the astrological facts — I don’t editorialize. Too much. I was chatting with a Pisces and we were discussing the upcoming bass spawn patterns. How the bucks were getting ready to spend time guarding the nests. How the girls were going to abandon everything once they got done laying the eggs. Where the best place to fish was going to be. It’s time to back up into a cove and be a little crafty. Venus is firmly backwards in position that’s not too much fun for the Pisces, but that doesn’t mean that you can’t take advantage of it. Or, at the very least, minimize the effects of Venus backwards.
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copyright (c) 2005, 2006 Kramer Wetzel, for astrofish.net
