Fishing Guide to the Stars
by Kramer Wetzel
(c) 2005, 2006
by Kramer Wetzel for astrofish.net
For the Week starting: 1.5.2006
“What you do still betters what is done.”
Shakespeare’s The Winter’s Tale [IV.iv.135]
Aries: I took two poles down to the water’s edge, as I had a plan. New Year starts out that way: with a plan. I was using an older model pole, more of a relic or antique, with a tiny hook, looking for a small fish. Tiny bit of plastic on the end. The plan? Catch a small fish then put that smaller fish on the end of the other pole, and catch a bigger fish. Nice idea. Good, solid plan. Caught a little perch. He jumped back in the river before I could get him threaded onto the other pole. Caught another little perch. Again, he slipped from my grasp. It’s winter time, it’s cold outside, all right? Third try? The perch was not exactly a bait-sized feller, unless I was hunting really big fish. Which I wasn’t. I went back to the tackle box and figured out something else to stick on the end of the pole. Plan B. An alternate plan. Something else. My good, solid, New Year’s plan? Like that first Aries plan? Might not work out. Doesn’t mean there isn’t something you can do, but I’d be prepared for the first, infallible plan — like mine — to have a few extra problems.
Taurus: I was having a leisurely breakfast at a slightly down-at-the-heels place, with a Taurus buddy. Listening to the New Year stories and so forth. The waitress (Pisces, not that it matters), brought over the plate full of eggs and bacon and biscuits, the little jelly packages slipped off the plate. “Oh, look out, wild jams! Need to keep an eye on those fellers,” she said. Then she set down my buddy’s plate, and again, the little jelly packages went flying off the plate, “Again! Look out, wild jelly flying around.” We found it comical that morning, little packages of jelly and jam, jumping all over the place. Insert joke about Mexican jumping beans. It was amusing, and in the aftermath of the New Year’s celebration, it was only appropriate. Apparently tame table condiments, wild and free on the table top. Watch out as your breakfast gets set down in front of you, some morning. Watch as the food takes a quick run for freedom, trying to escape the confines of the plate. Might not be breakfast, could be just about any meal. But don’t be surprised, okay?
Gemini: Them old outboard motors? Them’s usually two-stroke engines. Like an old lawnmower, only different. Same principles, anyway. Some of the most fun I’ve had is watching otherwise bright, articulate, educated weekend warrior fishermen try and figure out gas-oil ratios. The conversion factors of pints and liters, quarts and ounces, 50 to 1 ratio or 30 to 1 ratio, or what happens when it’s just about a 100 to 1 ration? Not enough oil. What happens when there’s too much oil? Spark plugs that don’t spark. The conversation around this point, about the right oil to pour in the gas is amusing, to me. One of the guys I’ve watched, and I’m not kidding about this, the guy is a high-level computer exec, but with his old outboard? The conversion, the mixture, the way it’s supposed to be? It all seems to elude his mental grasp. Nothing should get out of the Gemini mental grasp. However, if your gas tank holds five gallons, and you’re looking for a 40 to 1 ration, a safe number, then what you’ll want is about a quart of two-stroke oil, right?
Cancer: I was standing in line at a certain department store; I had a pair of jeans and a white shirt in hand. I was picking up some formal wear for the next few weeks. Sometimes, it’s just easier to buy clothes than do laundry. In the men’s department, there was a long line of us guys, about three or four deep, and the clerk was hopelessly mired in a cash register/computer database/bar code scanner problem. I shopped a little longer, but I couldn’t find anything that fit my requirements (cheap & tacky), so I sauntered over to the women’s wear section. No line. No problem with the register. “Hey, you’re not that guy on TV are you?” No, I’m not. I think the clerk thought I was “cute,” whatever that means. She was a Cancer, for what it’s worth. I was checked out (more than one way, apparently) and on my way in no time. Much faster. Now, some guys will recoil at the idea of paying for goods in the women’s section. But it was fast, expeditious, and there was little flirt thing happening. Clerk might have just be indulging me, but whatever. Stop. Think about it. There’s a long line right here in Cancer. Over in the next section, although, maybe you don’t think you should be there, but over in the next section, there’s no line. Why wait?
Leo: I grabbed a dictionary to look up the spelling of a particular word. Then I remembered something I’d read someplace, and I’m not sure where it came from. But I checked my dictionary, a real British dictionary, because I was curious. Sure enough, in alphabetical order, “success” appears before “work.” It’s a heavy dictionary, and I suppose, to me, that means it’s weighty tome. Plus, I figure, just handling that heavy book is hard work, especially for me, if it isn’t wiggling my fingers or talking, then it qualifies as hard work. Manual labor, even. For the purpose of this example, and how things are apt to be going in Leo land, it’s all about hard work. And unlike the order of “success” and “work,” “hard” does appear before “success.” Is this really important? Yes. My fine Leo friends have a tough year ahead. Nothing that a little hard work can’t fix. Nothing that few extra hours of concerted effort in one direction with a clear goal held firmly in place, nothing that can’t be beaten into submission by repeated strokes. Perhaps it’s just a dictionary thing, too, with “success” appearing before “work,” but here in the real world — not in some book — here in Leo Land, hard work will — eventually — guarantee success. Like it should be for the Leo, the mighty Leo.
Virgo: I was on the hike and bike trail a couple of days ago, shortly after the first. There always seems to be, even in inclement weather, right after the first of the year? There’s always a higher than average number of folks running, walking, huffing and puffing along. In another month? They’ll all be gone. Anyway, I was rambling along like I always I do and I was listening to a conversation between two runners who were paused. “It’s my knee, you know, it only hurts when I’m running.” It was a pair of young ladies, and they were stretching, I guess. I didn’t offer any insight, and I just kept on my usual, lopping, laconic pace. But that one snippet of conversation, overheard? “It only hurts when I run”? I wonder if the cure isn’t to stop running? Or is that obvious? I can’t make any of the planets behave in a more orderly fashion, despite what some folks think. But I can offer a word to the wise (Virgo) and suggest that if it hurts? Maybe don’t do it. New Years’ resolutions are nice, but this year? The way things are? Consider that comment, “It only hurts when….” and then consider stopping that action as a partial solution. Probably more effective than anything else, and I’m all for less pain in the Virgo world.
Libra: Down on the Texas Gulf coast, there’s a little town I like to visit. Half-tourist, half fishing village, half “beach,” half Texas. Imagine surfers dudes with cowboy hats? Got an image? There was legendary place to eat breakfast, a little coffee shop/bakery that had the most amazing Eggs Benedict, on Saturday and Sunday, only. The cinnamon rolls were “as big as yore face,” and baked fresh every morning. The place started out as a retirement hobby for the owner, a retired cook. Moved to the beach and opened a little place, just for the fun of it. But good food is universally accepted and celebrated, and the place became a local legend. About two blocks from the beach? Sure. After a couple of years, though, the owner had to retire again, as the unwanted success brought too much work. The place even made the national spotlight, on more than one occasion. Was it that good? Yes. Just like that retirement hobby that takes on a life its own, you’ve got something started in Libra, and it’s going to be a huge success. A bigger success than you imagined. Just like that little breakfast place, it gets to be such a huge success that you have to retire — again.
Scorpio: I’ve got one buddy, and he maintains that cleaning fish is the girlfriend’s task. I might point out, not to belabor the obvious, that this particular Scorpio is single, and it’s a safe prediction, with his attitude, that he’s going to stay single for a while. He’s a little mired in his ways, some antiquated views about the way life should be. Take a lesson from my one Scorpio fishing guy, consider that concept that you hold dear. Might be a slightly antiquated way of looking at life. Might be a really old-fashioned way of seeing a particular situation. Might not be what you’re looking for. If he would just change his tune a little, maybe ask for assistance instead of demanding, he might get some help. It could happen. Although, to be honest, I can’t think of any woman I know who would volunteer to be of assistance. Those fish scales get everywhere, and it’s a task best left to the backyard, the driveway, but never in the house.
Sagittarius: There’s a term in website management, a placement that’s called, “Above the fold.” What tickled me when I was responding to an advertiser’s request for placement above the fold, what caught my funny bone? “Above the fold” is a newspaper term. Straight up, from the print side of life. Computer screens don’t fold, web pages don’t fold, and the term is archaic. I suppose it should be, “showing on the first page,” or “within the first 400 pixels of the web screen,” or a similar type of comment. Nope, we’re still talking about “above the fold.” The term does derive from a newspaper, and the most popular part of the newspaper, the best place to be, is above the fold. Old ways die hard. Old terms, inserted into our language still linger, i.e., c.f., e.g., and so on. Or, “above the fold.” What’s lingering now in our Sagittarius mind that won’t go away? ? What’s stuck in our headspace, taking up room, exerting unrelenting pressure, and that thought? What’s it doing here in our modern world? There’s an archaic term, an idea we’ve been strictly adhering to, and there’s no time better than this week to let it go.
Capricorn: Happy new year a little belated, and a special happy birthday to certain Capricorn folks. I was bouncing email back and forth with one of the lucky Capricorn friends, and it started out with how that particular person is doing okay, especially given the current climate. Not doing badly at all. Which led to a realization that life wasn’t quite so bad. But that then gave way to the discussion that life, although it wasn’t too bad by any stretch of the Capricorn imagination, it wasn’t great. Happy, but not ecstatic. Which then led to a point that the Capricorn, because that person wasn’t happy, was now depressed because, although things aren’t too bad, they aren’t absolutely fabulous, either. Therein was the problem. In my mind, and that Capricorn mind, maybe certain situations aren’t as good as you’d like, but those self-same situations, are they really bad? No, but at that point in the volley of email, the Capricorn became depressed because it’s not all that wonderful. The problem? Over-thinking the current situation. “He thinks too much — such men are dangerous” (to themselves — with apologies to Shakespeare’s Casius)
Aquarius: Just about everyone has a fishing story or two. A friend of a friend lives on lake, or by lake, really, and he was talking about the other fisherman who come over to his private section of the lake to fish. Not only does he fish, but the friend of the friend also plays golf. In fact, he was hitting golf balls into the lake one day and noticed that some fishermen in a boat were slowly and most assuredly following wherever the gold balls would land in the lake. Sounded like fish striking the surface. “I was practicing my driving, and then I noticed these two guy in the boat, slowly trolling over to wherever the golf ball landed in the water.” The rest of the story is pretty easy to fill in, the guy on the land didn’t like folks fishing in his private spot, so he started leading the guys in the boat on a merry and futile chase all across the lakefront. Wherever he could drive a golf ball, they would drive the boat. “Greatly improved my drive that morning.” Look at what the planets are doing. Are you going to be the guy on the shore, hitting golf balls? Or are you going to be in a boat, following the splash of water, hunting for where you think the fish are?
Pisces: I was at an Xmas party with a couple of my professional associates. We were joking about the “psychic reading” business we’re all in. Over a frosty beverage, one of the girls was lamenting about some person she’d seen that afternoon. Instead of any type of spiritual guidance, the person was concerned about sexual activity with another person. “So I said the bad news was it wasn’t going to happen this year. The good news? The year’s almost over.” She laughed. That was about three weeks ago. I wonder if that one person is happier now? I wonder if it was a Pisces? I wonder if the New Year has delivered that relationship yet? I wonder a lot, don’t I? What’s with the questions? As January starts to get up and roll? It’s a good time to start looking for that “new” whatever it is that you’re seeking.
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copyright (c) 2005, 2006 Kramer Wetzel, for astrofish.net
