For the month of April, 2006

Fishing Guide to the Stars
by Kramer Wetzel
(c) 2006 by Kramer Wetzel for
For the month of April, 2006

“They have been as a great feast of language and stolen the scraps.”
Shakespeare’s Love’s Labor’s Lost (V.i.35)

Mars moves into Cancer, later this month, and Jupiter is Scorpio whilst Saturn is still stuck in Leo. Last month’s Mercury Retrograde is gone,

Aries: April may be a cruel month, but the first part of April, the next three weeks? Holds promise of good fortune and glad tidings, and best of all? Venus. Or Mercury. Either way, the planets are starting to align in manner that will help you out of the mess created last month.

Taurus: The “extended dance mix” is what’s up. Starts a little slow, but as time marches forward, there’s a gradual quickening of the tempo. The beat gets a little stronger, a little faster, more beats per second. It’s a subtle change, too, not realized at first, but as the rhythm picks up the pace, be prepared to dance a little longer. It’s the extended dance remix version, not the “clean” radio cut.

Gemini: Right word, right mouth, wrong time. Listen to Saturn’s influence in your chart. In your heart. Shut up. There’s a time and place for everything, and there’s a degree of propriety that must be observed. Yeah, I know this is Austin, and I understand we’re casual and all, but nothing works better than a well-timed pause. Let the other person be the first fool.

Cancer: Spring time brings out the manly art of grilling. Fresh, out-of-doors, the little grill is ready to be stoked. Due to the placement of Mars, visible right after sunset, though, and a manly tip to Cancer? Careful with the ignition of the grill. Perhaps the self-starting charcoal is better than a liberal dose of gasoline, or other combustible components.

Leo: July Leo crowd is dealing with a tough situation. The rest of the sign is okay for now. Saturn means work hard now, get paid later. Not a concept I’m good with, not me, I’m the guy who figures getting out of bed is work enough. However, I’ll promise that diligence and perseverance will pay off for the good Leo.

Virgo: SXSW, Eyore’s Birthday, Bluebonnets, spring is in the air. Also means a few allergies for some. I’d look less at the events and more at the results and influences of planets, though. This springtime heralds a relationship in the Virgo arena of love. For good? Could very well be. Or might be a spring time fancy. Enjoy it, either way.

Libra: The right jeans, the right shorts, the correct outfit works wonders. It’s time to further develop the Libra “come hither” look. In part, it is the clothes, and in part, it’s the look, the coy smile, the way your eyes drop when talking. The advice is to play coy, but make sure the active side is understood, play. Play to win.

Scorpio: I’m not saying that Scorpio doesn’t deserve to win big, and I’m not saying that it couldn’t happen, but I am suggesting that you just tone it down for a bit. If Scorpio is supposed to be so furtive and secretive, then why not be that for a couple of weeks? Wouldn’t hurt to try.

Sagittarius: Work and play intermingle for me. Plus I work in others’ playtime and play when others work. Such a weird schedule shouldn’t surprise a good little Sagittarius, though, as we’ve got it all backwards. No, it’s not Mercury, it’s more along the lines of that pesky Jupiter influence. Or lack of influence. A little less celebration and little more attention to pesky details would help us move forward. Faster.

Capricorn: April (astrology) weather suggests that it’s going to be a hot summer. Which, given our relatively mild winter, is a safe prediction. The next six or eight weeks is all about decisions that will impact what happens in the Capricorn summer. Careful planning now insures that you get to drop some dead weight before too long. Helps with your summer plans.

Aquarius: “Get all mystical on them,” my friend advised me when I was face-to-face with an Aquarius that didn’t have a lot to say. So I mumbled the usual spiritual platitudes and borrowed from the Beatitudes, and I shuffled off. But that sort of advice, “Get all mystical on them,” that works for Aquarius. Part Buddhist, part BS, part inherent truth? Go ahead and spit it out.

Pisces: From the profane to the profound, and it works in that order. Doesn’t start out nice, but as you progress forward, Pisces will discover that the elucidation adroitly becomes easier and easier. Which is the point.

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copyright (c) 2006 Kramer Wetzel, for

About the author: Born and raised in a small town in East Texas, Kramer Wetzel spent years honing his craft in trailer park in South Austin. He hates writing about himself in third person. More at

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