For the Week starting: 4.20.2006

Fishing Guide to the Stars
by Kramer Wetzel
(c) 2005, 2006
by Kramer Wetzel for
For the Week starting: 4.20.2006

“(He is) a gentleman .. that loves to hear himself talk and will speak more in a minute than he will stand to in a month.”
Shakespeare’s Romeo and Juliet [II.iv.`39-41]

That’s a little bit of Romeo talking to the Nurse, making an observation about Mercutio, which, I might add, could be used about me, too. Not that it matters.

Aries: Mars is screaming along in Cancer, Mercury is in your sign, and your birthdays are all but over. Between Mars and Mercury, I’d suggest you listen to that commentary by Romeo, directed towards Mercutio. Realize that it was honest criticism between friends, and Mercury is like that. Does that to you. Works you up to a point where you like to listen to your own voice. But with Mars moving along in a different cardinal sign, like Cancer? It could push you to say something that you might regret. As Mars first gently, then a little more abruptly starts create tension angle to your sign, then there’s a problem. Think about Mercury, Mercutio, and the open-mouth symbolism. I don’t want your Aries self dead by the end of Act II. A little less chatter might be a benefit, despite the Mercury influence.

Taurus: Happy birthday baby; slow down. That was broken up by punctuation, but it really should be read in one breath. The grammar cops will bust me, though, if I try to run it all together the way it should read, “happybirthdaybabyslowdown.” Got lots of stuff kicking and cavorting along, the problem being? It’s all elsewhere at this moment. The focus is everywhere but in the Taurus, like it should be at this time. Sun’s moved into your sign, that’s good. Mercury and Venus are trailing you, and Mars is way ahead. Plus there’s that pesky Jupiter thing happening yonder in Scorpio. Chatter about the planets establishes a sense of what’s where. Knowing where everything is, especially the planets, lends a degree of knowing when and where to party. And how. The last quarter moon, the part where the moon keeps getting smaller and smaller until it disappears from our eyesight? Tough time for a birthday party. Good time to straighten up a few items that need to be straightened up. Or cleaned up. Old matters that have been left hanging for a long time? Best to get about looking at that now. Birthday time. Stop and take a little peek at your past year. What happened that you didn’t like? Now, what can we do to make sure that doesn’t happen again? That’s the next step. Plus, in another week>? It’s party time all over again — you get a whole 30 days to celebrate the good wishes of your birthday party.

Gemini: Cool it. Sit down, shut up, and just fish. There’s a time and place for everything, and right now, this next couple of days? Best thing you can do is sit down, shut up and fish. I realize that not too many of my Gemini friends are going to grasp the importance of the last verb, especially in its command form, and maybe the term could be considered allegorical. In my case? It’s real. The best way to catch fish is to put bait on a hook and put the hook in the water. Personally, I prefer a little quiet when I fish, but that’s not always required, just a personal preference. But the point is clear, I hope. Some folks spend a little too much time talking about what is going to happen, and not enough time doing it. Follow the lead, follow the idea. Don’t tell me what’s happening, make it happen. In my situation, in my example, it’s simple. Bait goes on hook, hook with bait goes in lake (bay, ocean, pond, stream). It’s all about taking appropriate steps to get from where you’re at to where you want to be. Sometimes, taking that first step involves a lot of planning. I’ve got to select a pole, a hook, bait, and so forth. Takes me about two minutes, if I really have to think. Should take your Gemini self about as long, maybe a little quicker than me because I’m not a Gemini. Bait, hook, pole, fish. Or something. Just get in motion. Can’t catch any fish if you’re not fishing. Action, not words.

Cancer: Another local astrologer left me a voice mail the other afternoon. It was a technical question, a reference question, and it was so stupid — to me — that I didn’t bother to return the call. How anyone can consider themselves able to do a chart reading, for real, and charge money for it, and still be asking questions like that? That question offended me on so many different levels that I had a hard time not picking up the phone and giving that one person a vitriolic verbal lashing. That one person had better just hang it up — obviously there’s a long way to go in human interaction, the study of humanity, and the simple process of locating where the planets are. Reminds me a of fishing buddy, when the fish aren’t biting, I’ll look at him and ask, “Where are the fish?” His reply? “In the lake.” What I wanted to do, my very first reaction? Let loose with a torrent of ill-considered words? I didn’t do that. But I thought about it. What I did do? Nothing. For some occasions, like what’s happening under the Martian influence? Sometimes, nothing is a good choice.

Leo: It’s all about directions, goals and desires. And Mars, lagging along in the sign that comes in front of Leo: Cancer. Mars is there for a spell, get used to it. Mars is going to unburden himself with some troubling nightmares. That’s where a good sense of direction comes in handy. I’m directionally impaired. Last time I was in the parking lot of a super-mega-store-mall, after we’d hopped out of the car, I took a quick look backwards, about halfway to the entrance. What I do is take a little mental snapshot of where the truck is parked. That way I can navigate back to the vehicle with relative ease, once I have my arms full of groceries or new fishing togs. Or whatever I went looking for. My personal nightmare is to be stuck in parking lot, wandering up and down, looking for the ride that got us there. I mean, after a while, all cars look like little gel-caps. While Mars is lurking in Cancer, it’s okay to look back over your shoulder for a quick snapshot of where you left the truck. The problem is spending too much time looking backwards, or listening to the horrible nightmares about being lost in the parking lot of a mall. I’d leave a trail of breadcrumbs but the local avian set will gobble that up before I can use the tracking device. Got to be careful about what we use to mark where we are, where we’ve been and how we’re going to get out Leo selves back to where we started.

Virgo: Two, maybe three years ago, a new kind of fishing line appeared on the market. “Fish can’t see it underwater!” Okay, I’ll buy that. Some sort of molecular bonded paint, made the line invisible underwater, but easily visible to human eyes above water. Good stuff. At least, decent stuff. Better marketing than fishing line, in my experience. It snarled and tangled too easily, and the stuff was expensive, as fishing line goes. The problem is that the only connection between my bait and the fish? Fishing line. So expensive, high-quality line is a good idea. Don’t wander into the fishing aisle thinking that all fishing line is the same, either. It’s not. After my brief experiment with “fishing line that fish can’t see,” I went back to the tried and true standard that I usually use, a balance between strength and weight, a blend of strong enough to get the job done, but thin enough so it’s hard for the fish to detect it. It might not be invisible, but it works well enough. That’s where we are, you can try the latest, greatest, new-fangled “idiot proof” item, but in your Virgo mind, you’re thinking, “This is too good to be true.” It might be. Doesn’t hurt to try new stuff, but make sure you’ve got plenty of the old-standby on hand, in case you want to go back to it.

Libra: Be rational. It’s that simple. You’re going to get confronted with one of those situations wherein the other folks are going to try and push the emotional button. Someone ain’t having a good hair day. Doesn’t mean that you’re not. Your fine Libra self is doing okay. The problem is a dose of reality that lands in some dreamer’s corner. It’s not like you can’t be a good dreamer yourself, no, that’s not the issue. The issue, such as it is, has to do with being cool and rational in the face of an irrational situation. You’re also, like as not, going to feel like you’re the only one who sees this issue for what it really is, devoid of the emotional coloring. Plain black and white, simple problem, easy solution if one is willing to confront a fear, address the issue without its emotional load of undertone or overtone, or whatever tone. Simple problem, and it’s going to feel like you’re the only one who sees it the way it really is. “Is this, like, you know, one of those mercury things?” Nope. It’s a unction of the Sun squaring Saturn, both in highly volatile fixed signs, and it seems like those people affected by this have come to the cool, collected calm of the Libra corner to seek assistance. Be rational.

Scorpio: Freeze, right there. Before you make another move, stop and consider your actions. What’s the long-term affect? Cause and effect? What will be the serious, long-term consequences of that action? I keep catching the same fish. I keep letting her go, and catching her again. Caught her twice in one day. She’s healthy, happy, well-fed, and certainly well looked-after. Revered, even. Because I set that fish free, every time, I get to enjoy the hunt and chase again and again. If I skinned her, filleted her, then rolled her in cornmeal, I’d have a mighty fine repast. Once. No more fun. No more catch and release. No more hide and seek in the lake. No more frustrating afternoons when she won’t take a bait from me, no more hours by the river’s edge, pursuing a single lady bass. Like me, you pull up an old friend, and like me, you should let this go, too. Short term is one quick meal. Long term? More bass, more fun, babies, more fish, more fishing. More fight, more frustration when she won’t bite. Think about the long-term before you act. Do you really want to fillet an old friend like that?

Sagittarius: Traditionally, for me, April is a wash. Not much occurs, other than taxes. I was trying to explain to a promoter that April is the wrong month — where I live — to expect much to occur. Just a slow month. Now, the person I was talking to? That person was from the Northwest, and up yonder, so it seems, this is a busy time. A great time. I suppose it’s a seasonal variation. Like me, you’re having a slow month. Or rather, a slow week. Not that it’s bad, when business slows down during a seasonal change, I just get to spend more time fishing and less time “working.” Nice how that works out. Makes life a little better. Anyway, what this means, is there’s a new start, around the corner. Consider what new endeavor requires your attention. Consider what sort of rebirth wants to be re-birthed in your Sagittarius — our Sagittarius — corner of the world. We’ve got a little kick-start coming along soon enough. The best way to approach this is a moment of quiet meditation — figure out what you want next, the next destination, the next adventure, the next big deal for your Sagittarius self.

Capricorn: It’s about changing how you see the world. It’s mars, as much as anything that’s slamming into you. In reality, Mars is in the sign that’s on the opposite side of the wheel from where your Capricorn self would be. So it’s matter of looking at a situation, possibly a confrontation, maybe just some usual interaction, from a different point of view. I was thinking about this Mars scenario while I was ordering an afternoon libation. Caffeine, doubled up with some milk product, served hot on a hot afternoon, and what I needed to do was let the beverage cool down a bit. As I was standing there, at the coffee stand, the super-trendy coffee place, I was looking up at a familiar face. Then I realized that the only way that counter person ever saw me was from a position, maybe elevated by two feet. I’m guessing, but I’m thinking it’s 18 to 24 inches above the customer. So all the workers ever see is a downward view, like foreheads and such. Kind of a strange way to see the world. I suppose, if I ever encountered one of the workers out on the street, or at a party, or maybe in bars someplace, I wouldn’t be recognized because I’d probably be taller than them. It’s about differences like that. See what I mean about Mars and trying to look at the world from a different angle? Elevated, or in my case, lowered.

Aquarius: I was walking along the avenue, just passed a bus stop, and I was peeling out of my shirt, a set of ear buds playing esoteric music in my ears, and I heard a familiar voice come up beside, “Kramer!” I popped one ear bud out them the second and for the duration of the short walk, I talked to my client. Lovely young lady, working part time in the food-industry-service business while waiting on her healing-arts business to become a full-time vocation. I admire that sort of pluck, the willingness to work behind the counter at a fast-food place in order to pursue a dream. In our short walk, I used an example about the music business, how a band will tour incessantly for a dozen years, working very hard, only to have “sudden” success visited upon them with a super hit. Only, that band? Touring, gigging, churning out limited-exposure album after album? That’s more than an overnight success, its ‘long hours of dedication, pursuing a dream. Those road trips, making enough at one gig to pay for gas and fast food to the next gig, and hoping to make enough to make it home at the end of the tour? That’s the same as working in a fast-food place, even if it’s a healthy local alternative, following that dream. Stick to the dream. Follow it. But the client reminded me, as I listened to my own words, that there’s also the need to put food on the table each week.

Pisces: After reading a whole lot of crime novels, more as escape fiction rather than as research, I kept coming back to one item that the authors nearly all used, the clue that solves the case? Or breaks it open? Or moves the action along? That plot device always seems to be an informant, a tip, an innocent bystander who comes up with the relevant information to “break open the case.” The big break, as it were. Some character says something to the detective, and from there, a little snippet of confirmation, a confession, a casual observation, or so it would seem, leads to a (usually) satisfactory ending to a case. Or so it seems. Good fiction is a like life. Even bad fiction is a lot like life, but that’s not the point. The problem facing my fine Pisces friends has to do with that big break, and what part, what character, you’re going to play. This is a warning and a suggestion, just for the next few days, pretend you’re in the role of the detective (cop, private investigator &c.) What I’m warning you about is the role of the mouthpiece, the character that spills the beans. That’s not a position you want. That’s not the part you want to play. Listen and be surprised what other people confide in you. Might be the big clue.

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copyright (c) 2005, 2006 Kramer Wetzel, for

About the author: Born and raised in a small town in East Texas, Kramer Wetzel spent years honing his craft in a trailer park in South Austin. He hates writing about himself in third person. More at

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