Fishing Guide to the Stars
by Kramer Wetzel
(c) 2005, 2006 by Kramer Wetzel for astrofish.net
For the Week starting: 7.13.2006
“A fish: he smells like a fish: a very ancient and fish-like small, a kind of not of the newest poor-john.”
Shakespeare’s The Tempest [II.ii.25-6]
Mercury, still backwards in Cancer.
Aries: It’s summer time, and it’s hot. That statement from Shakespeare’s Tempest could be used about me. Especially now that the big bang holiday over. Plus, and I’m pretty sure about this, a few of my fine Aries friends are feeling much the same way, as one character from pop culture is fond of saying, “Smell you later.” While summer heat in a dry portion of the country doesn’t exactly evoke the feelings of land of Aries, it does, to a certain extent. Long, hot, dry summer, with the dry lightening off in the distance, as the sun sets, and sometimes, the little swirls of dust are too dispirited to do much else, other than just settle in a heap.
Taurus: I was talking to a client, and that one person was headed out, late in the summer, towards the fabled Rocky Mountains. To me, that brings to mind trout fishing in America’s west. Clear, bubbling mountain streams, little dry flies about the size of dime, careful presentation, long, slender fly poles, and all the fun that goes with just such a sport. So what occurs in my mind, and what that delicate and sweet Taurus was looking for? Different items. Different vistas. Different trip altogether. “Why would I want to torture those poor fish? I mean, I like sitting by the edge of the stream, but why bother with fishing?” Foreign to my mind, but perfectly acceptable for a Taurus summer break. Now, you might not be headed towards the mountains, with grand vistas opening up from the parched prairies, but what some other person sees in a certain destination, and what you perceive as the reason for that destination will vary. Understand that either option, either way of seeing this is good. Although, for the life of me, with a stream right there, I don’t understand why someone wouldn’t want to fish. But that could be me, and I’m not a Taurus.
Gemini: Venus is making a slightly hasty exit. The image that comes with the way things are, these days, in Gemini? It reminds me a film vignette, a little scene clipped out and stuck in my memory. Must’ve been a film, couldn’t be the real world. Maybe it was in a book, but it’s like waking up on the couch, wearing nothing but a Viking helmet, with the TV set running on a dead channel, and wondering what happened. Venus will be like that. Messing with your brain. Plus, there’s that omnipresent (and ominous) Mercury problem. I’m thinking that you’re going to be confused about a certain issue. Like waking up on the sidewalk. Or on some couch, not wearing any clothes.
Cancer: Ever feel yourself slipping into a situation that has an uncanny feeling like you’re seeing the other side of the problem? I got stuck working on a buddy’s computer, just doing some upgrade, a little hard drive swap, no big deal. The problem? He dropped it off one night and he expected it back the next day. Compound the problem? He needed it for some kind of project he was working on. First estimate? After all, I am a wizard, according to some. Should’ve taken about three minutes. The problem escalated and I toiled away late into the night and when he called, way too early the next morning? Computer was about halfway there. But I still needed to reinstall certain services. So the estimate got pushed back until much, much later. “I’ll have it first thing in the morning,” became “noon,” which later — there was a hardware update that needed to be installed — became “this evening, I hope.” If only he’d bought a faster drive. If only he’d updated a little more frequently. If only I wasn’t stuck loading one patch on top of another. And what I realized as I took a break to fish while the hard drive was grinding? It’s just like getting a truck worked on, usually takes longer, due to unforeseen problems. Got a problem like that? One that you know should only take you three minutes and winds up taking about thirty hours? Next time you drop a car off with a shade tree buddy for “a little work?” Maybe you’ll be more understanding, too.
Leo: All I could think was that, “This is a recipe for disaster.” “Dude, no, dude, check it out!” It was buddy of mine and he pulled up a box, orange box, that longer than he is tall, “Chainsaw. Electric chainsaw. On a stick!” Whirling blades, an aluminum pole that extends to 18 feet or something, between the packaging and the image of my buddy (not named Bubba), and the sweet summer smell of all-male testosterone, I was worried. I was alarmed that he was going to whip it out, plug it into the truck’s cigarette lighter, and that boy was going to start attempting to trim trees here. Valid concern. So far, it’s been okay, as it’s tool that he needed to trim some branches around the old homestead, and he, so far, has been careful. But I’m not sure what’s better, a chainsaw at the end of pole, hence “chainsaw on a stick,” a Leo with tool like this, or worse, a Leo attempting to make a “chainsaw on stick” by just tying a chainsaw to the end of a pole, or even more scary, the thought of that lad with whiling blades, swinging around, far out of his reach. Power lines, phone lines, the cable line, just about every overhead wire is now in danger. Then too, I could see him imitating some kind of martial arts — badly. Look: it’s all about Saturn. Maybe, just maybe, this isn’t the week to either buy, make, or use, a chainsaw on stick. Might not cut what you thought you were going to cut.
Virgo: I was in a big sporting good store, as I’d convinced my “date” that it was a good idea to shop for a couple of items I needed, like worms, hooks, and so forth. She was stopped in front of a sunglasses display. “Oh look,” she was exclaiming, “I can see the fish with these!” More like a squeal of discovery. I tend to buy polarized sunglasses, of the cheap variety, since this kind of item falls prey to “butts and boats.” As in, sat upon or fall out of, and there’s no need to cry about the loss of an expensive pair of shades. But they do have to be polarized, to help with the water’s glare and aid in the hunt for bigger fish. The carousel had a little image of water, and in the image, through polarized lenses, there was a big fish. Cool marketing. I wasn’t expecting the kind of response that I got, though, that was just amusing. Sort of a squeal. Mercury? Yes, it’s still backwards. No, I don’t have any polarized lens for dealing with the recalcitrant Mercury. Yes, the squeal of delight and discovery can work for your Virgo, self, as long as a seasoned and hardened shopper, like myself, isn’t alongside.
Libra: Same girl (see Virgo), same shopping adventure. Worms and hooks, all I needed. Candy, too, after all, I try to accommodate my “date” to the big sporting goods store. There was a ‘redfish’ candy of some kind, basically sugar in a rubber form, in the shape of a tiny fish. Less than a buck, as I recall. Something to keep her happy for the drive home. But no sooner do we hop back in the truck, and no sooner do I head out on the freeway, then there’s a little moan. “Oh, look,” she said, after reading the back of the package, “there’s no protein in these redfish. I thought fish were supposed to be high in protein.” I insure proper protein, I think we stopped for pizza, a little alter. I’m not sure, I don’t really recall. But the idea, and she might’ve just been playing me like a fish on a line, that the candy fishes didn’t have any protein of any notable kind brought up a point, in my tiny pea-brain. It’s all about reading the label. What’s really in the package? What’s behind the marketing, or in the case of that candy, what’s behind the display? It was a checkout counter impulse buy. Mercury, yes, he’s still in a retrograde pattern, and therefore? It doesn’t hurt to read the label, see what’s really inside the package.
Scorpio: I crawled out of bed the other morning, dropped a can of cat food in the cat’s dish, and rolled on out the door, fishing pole in hand. Early morning. Summer time. Fish just really aren’t biting. Fish aren’t doing much of anything but sitting there, asking themselves, “Hot enough for you?” Warm as it’s been in Texas? I wonder if I’m fishing for fighting sport fish or if I’m more in the market for fish filets, fresh cooked, in the lake’s torpid waters. But I wanted to fish some. And the early morning is about the best time, the only time it’s really cool enough to be outside comfortably. Well, comfortable for some. I don’t mind the heat, but some folks have suggested my brain was fried a long time ago. Just going through the motions. I’m sure, what between Mercury, the Sun, Mercury again, and the phase of the Moon, and did I mention mercury? I’m sure you’re feeling a little fried, too. No big deal, got it? I’m not suggesting that you get up extra early just to catch a few moments by the edge of the gentle river, which is starting to resemble a swamp, just to try a little fishing. But getting out while it’s still cool out? That’s a good Scorpio idea. Getting a jump start before anyone else? Again, a good idea. Expecting to catch fish? Well, it is the middle of the summer, and those fish really aren’t all that cooperative these days. However, one morning, I did catch one little feller who was brave enough to eat the bait.
Sagittarius: Being the Fishing Guide to the Stars and all of that, I do have my moments. There are times, special occasions, when I step up to the river’s edge, when I’m on a boat, those special times when every cast means fish. There are times, when one cast right after another gets a fish. There are times when I’m magic. Then there are times like now. It’s the middle of the summer. Fish are on vacation, mostly. I’m also a little smarter than the average fish, too, and after years of painful astrological research, plus some field testing, I’ve figured out when I should fish, and some days, my time is better spent reading a book. Or taking a long hike. Or even just swimming in the creek. This is one of the times when the fish magic isn’t working. How that “fish magic” plays out in your personal life, how that works best for your fine Sagittarius self is going to vary from person to person. Might not even be fishing that you’re interested in. But the easy part is gone, for the time being. Doesn’t mean that the magic won’t return, just means that, for right now, I have use special techniques. You have to use special techniques. Just a little more work, and little less luck in the heavens these days.
Capricorn: One big fish or many small fish? Honest question. The other afternoon, more like a little before noon, I was fishing. Caught one. Big one. Well, especially big for this stretch of the river. I’m used to catching a handful of small ones, not one big one. I went back, gloating a little to myself, and fished some more that afternoon, but it’s a situation where I’ve already caught the big one for the day. Nice size, too. Happiness really is a five-pound bass. I’m also a afraid that most of my readers just don’t get that allusion. Don’t worry about it. It’s about quantity as compared to quality. One big fish that would make a decent trophy? Or many small fish that aren’t much more than bait? Each item in that list has its place. Some days, it’s all about a bunch of little fish. Some days, it’s all about one big fish. Mercury is confusing an issue. Let it get to you? Whatever for? I’ll predict that it doesn’t matter where you fall on the side of that debate, one big fish or many small fish, doesn’t much make any difference, the other side looks better. Be patient, it will change.
Aquarius: “Work” is a strange situation for me, as I can never really turn off the “Kramer Brain,” and I keep doing astrological calculations late into the night, or pausing to assess what it means when the moon is in such-and-such a position. What it means, how it impacts us carbon-based life-forms wandering around on the surface of the planet we call “Earth.” Nope, can’t seem to shut off completely. I’d like to think that I have an Aquarius-type of brain, especially these days. Even if I don’t have an Aquarius brain, which I really don’t have, for the sake of argument, let’s assume that I do. So working, around the clock, it isn’t a problem, not for that Aquarius way of thinking. The other point, what’s important for me, is to consider that I’m still working, even when it looks like I’m fishing. Or when it looks like I’m just loping along the hike and bike trail. Or when I’m sitting in the passenger seat of plane, train or automobile. The brain is always clicking. The ideas keep bouncing around in my empty brain-case. I’m sure you’re familiar with the concept. There’s a problem, I’m not sure, looks like a conundrum with a career issue, and that riddle needs to be addressed. So while you’re someplace else? That’s the best time to let the issue percolate through the sieve and see what kind of a solution you can come up with. However, like me, you’ll find it pretty hard to count “time spent fishing while working on the problem” as billable hours.
Pisces: I love summer travel. It can be a quick trip to the lake, for fishing and water sports. It can be a slightly longer trip to the seaside, again, for fishing and related water sports. Or it can be a trek, halfway across the states, to see friends and family. In any case, though, I enjoy summer travel. Since I play the part of a tourist, a brightly colored shirt, a small backpack, some sandals, and I’m good to go. Which is one of the reasons I love travel at this time of the year. Long distance, short distance, any distance, I mean, I can take a vacation in the suburbs, for all its worth. That’s an exotic destination for me. Consider a similar exotic destination, and consider traveling in the special “advanced casual” mode, something that is entirely comfortable for your sweet Pisces self. I can turn a trip down the road to get plate of BBQ into an adventure. And what I’m trying to appeal to here is the sense of casual and relaxed, as that’s a concept that’s worth embracing. Take it easy. Take a trip. It can even be an impromptu side jaunt to a familiar place, only, make it a casual event. No need to complicate it or get all worked up. Try my approach.
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copyright (c) 2005, 2006 Kramer Wetzel, for astrofish.net
