Fishing Guide to the Stars
by Kramer Wetzel
(c) 2005, 2006 by Kramer Wetzel for astrofish.net
For the Week starting: 7.20.2006
“What the great ones do, the less will prattle of.”
Shakespeare’s 12th Night [I.ii.33]
Leo starts, and Mr. Mercury is still sliding in a relatively backwards position. Mars moves into Virgo next week.
Aries: I watched as a buddy of mine, an Aries, went through some problems with his relationship. “So you’re telling me, it’s all Mercury’s fault? I can blame what my girlfriend did to the checkbook on Mercury? I can blame how she ‘sort of hid’ her mistake, that’s Mercury, too?” I believe the correct answer was that the problem was discovered because of Mercury, not the reverse, but like a lot of the Mercury problems, the data seems to get changed while being delivered. Not that I’d let that get in the way. And it’s not like this is an isolated case of there being a problem. It’s just a series of little mistakes that keep getting compounded, and one tiny error just feeds on another making it a larger error, and finally, as in the case of my buddy, there’s a show-down. With the “little woman,” as it was in this example. Arguing with a female, especially one that a person is involved with? That’s not a good idea. Arguing with a woman about money issues is even less of a good idea. Some things can be fixed, like the mathematical error. Some things can’t be fixed, like hurt feelings. What to do about it? I’d be a little more selective of how you voice your Aries ire. It’s that simple. A little condescension in these next few days goes a long way towards preventing small infractions from turning into major (pointless) battles.
Taurus: I was walking home the other evening, and I had on one of those personal music players, a pair of white earbuds stuck in my ear, the thin leads trailing down to a player. It was well after dark, and under the moonlight-look of the street lights, I’m sure, as a Caucasian male with poor sartorial tastes, I was visible. I was rocking right along. But I’ve traversed the mean streets of Austin more than one time, and just because the light was in my favor, the traffic light, the little flashing “walk” sign, that doesn’t imply that vehicular traffic will abide by the law. I paused. A car was about to turn into my way, would’ve run me over. I glared. The driver glared back. What was running through my mind was that, legally, I had the right-of-way. Check the state-issued driver’s handbook. A car that weighs in excess of one ton, though? I tend to err on the side of caution, even if I’m in the right. I’m suggesting that you follow my lead, on hot summer night, no matter where you are, and double check the situation. Just because, like me, you’re right? That doesn’t always mean there will be a happy outcome to the situation — unless you pause.
Gemini: She has dark brown hair, light brown eyes, a slim build and just enough shapes to make her the center of most males’ attention. Consider, she’s a Gemini with that ever inquisitive Gemini mind. Some would suggest an over-active imagination, but I understand it’s just all those Gemini planets spinning around in her head. Last time I saw this Gemini girl, she had a frantic look in her eyes, her usually well-coiffed hair was all over the place, and it looked like she’d slept in her clothes. Not the engaging sight I’m used to, but her appearance didn’t bother me, as I know the chart, all that Gemini. And all that Gemini material is fried. Just like the usually well-appointed Gemini under scrutiny even now, just like your Gemini self, it just seems like there’s one problem, then another. Late for work, late for a meeting, can’t find time to do the laundry, nothing seems to be running on schedule. Then the traffic lights are in a conspiracy to halt your every turn. It’s really just a little Mercury manifesting “fun stuff” in your chart. For the non-Gemini folks, a kindly word will help. To the Gemini folks? For some reason, even disheveled, you really do look good. And I’m not just saying that, either.
Cancer: I was fishing, the other morning, while it was still — relatively — cool out. The big bass, and for that matter, the little bass are all deep in their summer homes, where it’s cool. But the sunfish were hitting worms. Not big fish, mind you, but some fish are better than no fish. Then I hooked into something big. Or it felt big. Felt like I’d found me a fighting bass, someone with little more snap to his structure, something that really didn’t want me to bring it ashore, much less pose for a picture. As it got closer, I realized it wasn’t a black bass, or striped bass, or anything remotely similar, it just another sunfish. Not really that long, although, by sunfish standards he qualified as a keeper. Not that I’d keep him, either. If I could get him and half dozen of his friends, maybe a dozen or more, I could have a meal. But that wasn’t what was on my mind. I was thinking about Cancer and your horoscope. Ever feel like you’ve hooked into a big fish, only to have it turn out to be a tiny one? That’s what the planets are doing to you these days.
Leo: “It’s always about fishing isn’t it?” Sure. Topwater season is pretty much over. However, a there’s a tip leftover that I think might help my fine Leo friends. It’s all about how to set a hook when using a topwater lure. Wait. Fish hits the lure, and my immediate reaction is to give a good yank on the pole to set that hook so I’ve got me a fish. However, with topwater lures, there’s a much better Hook-up ratio, bites to fish in boat, if I give that fish about half a beat, maybe a full beat, or if it’s a dance rhythm, maybe a whole second. Which, with some dance beats, would be longer than just a single pause. I doubt you’re using topwater lures at this moment. I doubt anyone really is, although, I did see a guy do okay the other evening, but that was a fluke. However, as I was reviewing your chart, and the relative positions of the planets, that little bit of topwater fishing action advice came to mind. It’s all about not jumping, it’s all about not being too hasty, it’s all about waiting that half-beat, or several beats if it’s an insane dance track, and then setting the hook. Or, better yet, for most Leo folks, doing whatever it is that you want to do in order to reel in a big one.
Virgo: “Dude, let’s fish sometime next week, how about Tuesday?” Sure. But Mars is creeping towards Virgo, and by next Tuesday, he will arrive. Tuesday morning, I’m ready to hit the lake, “Dude, something came up at work, how about tomorrow instead?” Sure, no problem. I can fish off the dock at Shady Acres. Not a problem. But my buddy doesn’t have a lake in his backyard. “Hey, can we switch to Thursday?” Sure, again, not a problem for me. Girlfriends seem to make unreasonable demands on some fisherman. But I’m not complaining. It’s about Mars, though, and not about girlfriends, or fishing. It’s about scheduling, Mercury being backwards, and no matter what you do, it just seem to shift. Again and again. I can get all kinds of worked up, “We booked this trip two weeks ago!” or I can look at the chart, see where Mars is, see where Mercury isn’t, and grab a pole and head to the river’s edge. Could be a lot worse, you know. All depends on how invested you get in the plans.
Libra: Imbued, as I am, with special powers to see into the future, I can see something’s afoot in Libra-land. In all reality, I’m not imbued with special powers, no more so than the average person, but I do pay attention the minute changes within our positions as foretold by planets. It’s not really a science as much as it’s an art form. However, I see positive changes as a result of the recent Mercury Madness, and it will help if you’re willing to adjust a few items. This can be a really simple process, too, as there’s no need to complicate matters further. When the door on the trailer opens, it runs into a stack of fishing poles, all neatly arranged in particular order. I merely switched around that order. To some people, this wouldn’t be a big deal. To certain — somewhat “retentive” — fisherman, changing the order can have dire consequences. Sometimes, though, even the littlest of changes in the order of things can help. Small, perhaps incremental, maybe even seemingly insignificant changes can do you a world of good. It’s about little items, and order. Besides, with Mercury retrograde? It’s possible, in another week, you can always put everything back the way it was; however, you’ll be much richer for the experience.
Scorpio: I was reading some academic material about Shakespeare, just sort of a hobby of mine. I don’t try to stay abreast of the latest and greatest selection of theories, just kind of try to keep on top of themes. Every once in a long while, some academic guy will pop along with a new theory, or a new spin on an old theory, and that makes for amusing reading, for me, anyway. In this one piece, the author was covering bear-baiting. Reminded me of Scorpio-baiting, and that’s something I’m man enough to admit, that I’m not man enough to handle. I still have scars from the last time I tried Scorpio baiting. Not an experience I intend to ever repeat. But that’s just me. Here’s the bad part of this week: someone, obviously not very bright, is going to try Scorpio-baiting. I predict the results are much like bear-baiting, a blood-sport. Much blood-letting. Not a pretty sight. Gore everywhere. Who wins? My money would have to be on the Scorpio, but I’ve tried and lost, so I know. There is a second solution to the problem, if you’re willing to heed a little advice: don’t. When that bait shows up, and someone wants to start fight? Don’t. Be a noble, ascended Phoenix-kind-of-a-Scorpio. Rise above it. But if you do get into an altercation, my money’s still on Scorpio winning. Not without a few scratches, though.
Sagittarius: One of my neighbors sauntered by when I was fishing. He saw me catch “the big one,” at least, it was the biggest one for that afternoon. Wasn’t really that big, but fish is fish. Being a kind, gentle soul, and an ardent tree-hugger, he was worried about damage to the fish, as that one fish did manage to jump off the dock with the hook still firmly in its mouth. I pulled the little feller up again, talking to the fish, and the neighbor at the same time, and I had to assure the neighbor that fish wasn’t really getting hurt. I had to point out, on several occasions, I’ve caught the same fish within hours of each catch. “But how do you know it’s the same fish?” He asked. Pictures. Getting the hook out of the fish’s mouth was a hard, as he’d taken the bait like he was supposed to. In the process, with that fish flipping around, the hook gouged my finger, and there was blood. Not fish blood, my blood. Fish got his picture on the website, and went back to be caught another day. Fisherman got a band-aid. Neighbor was worried that fish was hurt. Like my fishing adventures and misadventures, most of us Sagittarius types are more inclined to get ourselves, hooked, pierced, or otherwise draw blood — our own — if we’re not careful. Planets where they are? Could be a good time to fish. Planets where they are? Careful with sharp objects — and careful with sharp comments.
Capricorn: There’s a perverse, almost malicious, kind of Capricorn glee that comes with this particular Mercury Retrograde pattern. I’ve heard it more than once, in the last two weeks, and I expect this to be a sustainable pattern, too: “I told you so.” That’s what I’m hearing from my Capricorn buddies. An astute observation, dire predictions, and the way the events are working out? I’m hearing more than my fair share of Capricorn buddies give me that line. “I knew nothing good would come out of this,” the Capricorn mopes, “see? I warned you, didn’t I?” Yes, and most of the Capricorn folks I’ve dealt with? With whom I’ve had dealings? It’s the same sad story, a lamentable loss. Now, the flip side of this problem? There’s a bright spot of relief headed your way. For once, maybe for the first time, someone will come back, a previous acquaintance, a previous interaction of some kind, and that person will observe as how the Capricorn observation was right on target.
Aquarius: In the world of Shakespeare scholarship, there was, for a time, a suggestion that Shakespeare, Will Shakespeare, was the “go to” guy for parking horses outside theaters in Elizabethan Bankside. There was even a suggestion that Shakespeare, besides being the name attached to all the plays, he would have been a good patron saint for valet car hops. The problem with the story, that Shakespeare got his big break in London’s theater scene by holding the reins on horses? Like much of the mythology about Shakespeare, it’s probably not true. There’s a certain lack of corroborating evidence. Not that a lack of evidence has either bothered me, or, for that matter, early Shakespeare scholarship, but in more modern times, it looks more and more like the stories about Shakespeare as a “horse waiter,” they look to be steeped in a little too much myth and too little clues. But it makes for an attractive story. Wishful thinking inserted by scholars over the years. The story about myth-making, especially a story about a story-teller, who could be darn near mythical himself? It all goes back to several planet patterns and how those patterns are unfolding. Which myth you choose to tell? Careful, because, like that horse parking story about Shakespeare, your little myth could be widely accepted as fact for years, even if it was only a little bit of subtle Aquarius misdirection at the moment.
Pisces: I was reading up on some Shakespeare theory, lit-crit crap that I enjoy, and I came across a strange little bit that’s often removed from the play. It’s point about Hamlet’s mom and step-dad, part of the tragic coupling that occurs. See, Hamlet doesn’t understand that his middle-aged mom could have lascivious thoughts about her dead husband’s brother. Makes for a weird dynamic. And weird dynamics are part of what’s going on in Pisces, too. To be honest, the last time I saw that play, its central character was so well-cast, I never noticed what the critic was discussing. But taking a moment to look back over the play, and watching a good stage version, it came back to me. Took a little review, and I almost had to get down the big book with all the plays in it, just to check out the text context. Doing a little bit of extra background work is in order. For Pisces. You might not be checking up on Gertrude and Claudius, but there’s a suggestion that s similar kind of physical attraction exists in Pisces land. Plus, you do know, not all of the love stories are tragic.
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copyright (c) 2005, 2006 Kramer Wetzel, for astrofish.net
