Fishing Guide to the Stars
by Kramer Wetzel
(c) 2005, 2006 by Kramer Wetzel for astrofish.net
For the Week starting: 7.27.2006
“[He] leans wondrously to discontent.”
Shakespeare’s Timon of Athens [III.iv.69]
Aries: What’s so blessedly important with astrology is how it can help with timing. This summer, especially the last month or so, in the land of Aries, has been fraught with one false start after another. Promises of good things to happen, or just about to happen, or, my personal favorite? “You should’ve been here yesterday, they were really hitting then.” I hear that a lot from other fisherman, like, especially when we’re on the boat. But this isn’t about yesterday. Or last week. This is about the upcoming weeks. Hit the ground with your legs fully engaged and moving in a forward motion. There’s a point, it’s fast approaching, might even be here, wherein it’s time to make some forward progress. The next couple of weeks are important. I prefer the “shotgun” approach. A wide pattern, taking shots at whatever looks like it might be a target? That’s the secret to success. Eventually, you’re going to figure out that there’s really just one target, one goal, but use a wide pattern and try everything you’ve got, for starters.
Taurus: Motivation is a problem. I looked at the fishing poles, lined up against the wall. I looked at your horoscope, blank. I had to decide, what was more important? Well, it’s not a question of importance, really, it’s a matter of which was going to get done first. What was going to happen first. Then I checked over your charts for the upcoming week. The next seven days. There’s a point, right after this week, I mean, it’s fast approaching, but I’d put off what most important to you, personally, and tend to what’s most important in the larger scheme of things. No, that’s not right, because, in my mind, fishing is probably more important. To me. But I have to think about my dear Taurus friends, and I’m suggesting that you wait a bit to take care of what you really want. However, there’s something that’s equally, if not more so, important to some folks, and I’m trying to get your motivated to attack that before you do what you want. See? Those fish? They’re still waiting on me and my new lures. I hope.
Gemini: I’m doing this from the top of my head, as a Gemini, I’m sure you’ll appreciate that. In Shakespeare’s canon of work, there’s a number of comedy plays, and these all have similar elements, usually a set of twins, mistaken identity, separated at birth, comically finding each other, joy, reunion, and usually, some ne’er-do-well gets slapped down. Slapstick, too, when the plays are effectively staged. All good fun, maybe work in a little bit of moral mischief, too. On stage, like in the Gemini life, things are not what they appear to be. There will be joy, reunion, and the bad guy will get slapped down. Ah yes, but who wrote the plot to this week in Gemini Land? That’s a good question.
Cancer: One of my neighbors is a Cancer lad. We were swapping fishing stories while he got back from a little trip in his canoe. I asked his birthday, and with that information, I made a safe, general prognostication, just off the cuff. I think I was just recycling something I’d said about last week. “Tell me something about the character of Cancer individual,” he said (the guy’s an engineer). “Cancer, you do well if you live by water,” I said. Kind of a no-brainer observation, he’s a neighbor in Shady Acres, life’s really pretty good for him. I actually filled him in on some of the recent Mercury stuff, and that made me look brilliant. Which I’m not, but I did get a brief moment to shine. Plus I had a chance to learn about the neighbors. He also witnessed me catching fish — that’s always a plus. My business card says, “Fishing Guide to the Stars,” I’d better catch a fish every once in a while. The topic quickly turned to an item that’s really on the Cancer mind these days: romance. True love. Or some reasonable facsimile thereof. Venus is in Cancer. Mercury is coming about. Consider that there’s a opportunity on the Cancer horizon, old flame, new flame, and I’d suggest you hop on that opportunity. Consider a spin in the canoe.
Leo: I clipped an article out of magazine, some short “fluff” piece about music and the up and down cycle, or upside down cycle, of the music business. As it turns out, most big-name bands make a lot more money from touring and live shows. That’s where the cash is. The idea of going into a studio, laying down tracks, and then selling that canned music over and over, while it’s a rather attractive position, most artists see maybe a small percentage of each sale. If they’re lucky and it’s a chart-topper of an album. Still, the best continued source of revenue in the music business? Live shows. Which, I suppose, is why geriatric rock stars are still touring. Nothing beats selling out a large venue to help with the old cash flow. But touring, living on the road, it’s hard work. And there’s a mobile support system that’s required, and that too, takes care and feeding. As an old road dog myself, I know what constant travel is like. It’s not easy, it’s not always fun, and it’s a kind of work in itself. So there’s some more work winging its way towards you. Looks like fun, on the outside. Still, it’s work. Load and go, is what I say.
Virgo: There was a favorite place to swim, for me, and for a hundreds of other people, down by the creek. At one point, though, the city officials caught on, and someone had put up a one of those orange mesh fences, to deter people, like me, from swimming in the creek. Fed by Barton Springs, the water is relatively swift-flowing, clear, clean, and cold. On a hot day in the middle of the summer, it’s the perfect place to chill out, literally. But that orange netting, the little “do not cross” yellow tape? That’s like an open challenge and invitation. I’m older and wiser now, but as I passed the spot with the tape and the mesh, the other afternoon, there were two young men, stripping out of their shirts and sliding under the netting, to swim, right where they were told not to swim. The inherent risk is pretty low. It’s not like there aren’t possible problems, but it’s really not that dangerous, as long as one uses a little common sense. Still, I prefer to wander a little further upstream and find an easier access point. What attracted those two young men, that one afternoon, possibly every afternoon? The warning signs, the netting that suggested, “Do not.” Mars, Mercury righting himself, and the basic phase of the moon, all of that lends a sense that someone is throwing you a challenge. Like that one place on the creek, though, I’d suggest you skip the parts that have the “do not enter” signs and not take the challenge.
Libra: I’m not an advocate of gambling. After a few years of research, I was able to determine that the odds always favor the “house.” However, there’s always Lady Luck, and she’s a fickle mistress, but on occasion, she can deliver the goods. I try to listen to the inner voice and let it direct me because I’m sure, from time to time, that Lady Luck will bestow boons upon my meager frame. Sometimes. I walked into a casino, the afternoon, and I saw a certain brand of machine, and it had an invisible beacon beckoning unto me. I unrolled my play money as I got closer, peeled off a twenty, and slipped it into the machine, expecting it to say, “80 coins,” and before the machine had a chance to register, or before I had chance to register, I realized there was something amiss. It wasn’t a “high-dollar” game for me (high dollar is a quarter — I’m cheap). It was a five dollar machine. That twenty bought four spins. I hit the button, trying to act nonchalant. Like I intended to do what I did. If I’d read the instructions, the signs, or just paid a little closer attention, I could’ve saved my $20. Arrogance is a horrible pitfall, and my arrogant nature, my “trust the inner voice and that beacon” cost me $20. I can save you the $20. Just because you’re guided by voices? Read all the material before popping down your dollars. There is a happy ending, I did recover the lost funds, after much work, at penny slot. But I had to work hard to get back up to where I started. Careful about being guided by intuition — don’t confuse it with marketing.
Scorpio: “We need lots of water every day.” I doubt that, as a viral advertising slogan, or anything similar, it will catch on. But it came as a reminder from a health-conscious Scorpio buddy, as he was pushing some product. I looked at the tag line, though, and thought about my dear little Scorpio friends. Water sign. Hot summer. You guys could sure benefit from drinking a little more water, and maybe cutting back on certain other items. Drink more water. I’ll even suggest a trick I use here at home: I refill bottled-water water bottles with tap water, put the refilled bottles back in the ice box, and then I’ve got an endless supply of no-cost “bottled” water. I tend to think about it as recycling. I’ve also priced bottles of water, from various locations, like, in a coffee shop, or in a resort, or at the convenience store. And at the warehouse store, too. The stuff I usually buy? Costs less than twenty cents for a bottle. Then I recycle the plastic until it get too yucky to use. So when I suggest you drink more water? Think about the source, too. Do you really need a three dollar bottle of (fancy brand name) water?
Sagittarius: “Presentation” is important. Very important. A couple of guys in a little john boat passed in front of Shady Acres the other evening. They stopped a couple of meters down the river, or up the river, actually, from my preferred location. My preferences are determined by a number of factors, fish, availability of cover, air space, water depth, current, and, of course, ease of access. The guys in the boat stopped at a place that should’ve been just full of fish. But as young men will frequently do, they were loud and boisterous. Probably scared away the fish. Around here, having fished a number of spots, I was amused. I was also hoping that the boyish antics would scare the fish over towards me. Didn’t really happen, despite sitting on a real honey-hole of a fishing spot, those lads couldn’t catch a thing. If I’d been out there, I’d a showed them a thing or two, but I also understand the crafty nature of the fish, and I understand that too much noise and too much splashing will spook them fellers. It’s a matter of stealth. It’s matter of letting a bait gently drop right in front of the fish. It’s a matter of doing this quietly and gently instead of making a big noise out of the action. Sometimes, the big noise and party-like atmosphere is okay, even good. Other times, though, a little more stealth, a little less noise is better.
Capricorn: Cute bumper sticker I saw the other afternoon? “Calculus and alcohol don’t mix: don’t drink and derive.” Math functions like Calculus imply the higher mind, in some people — certainly not Capricorn — the higher mind implies areas that might not be explored. Herein is our difficulty for the upcoming week, that higher mind that other folks are failing to employ? You’re going to run into some of these people. It’s not bad, it’s not good, it’s not anything, other than people who try to drink and derive. One of the central attributes of alcohol is that it numbs the mind. Not that this is a bad thing, per se, it just causing some problems for certain people. Other people. Consider your audience and maybe try to tailor your message for those other, non-Capricorn folks.
Aquarius: It had been a long night in an Indian Casino, out west someplace. Don’t ask the details, I’m not sure about them. Might’ve been Vegas, for all I recall. But it was a long, long night. Started before the sun ever set, and at 2 or 3 in the morning, I was just getting to the point, Lady Luck was still with me, but I was too tired to carry on. It was an old-fashioned place, and I had one of those buckets of coins, and I was desperately just looking for a machine where I could dump the coins rather than try and find the cashier cage. My companion for the evening was grabbing my hand and trying to drag me back out to the car, after all, it was well after the magic hour, and we were trying to get out while still way ahead. In my usual manner, I was carrying on about this and that, laughing, and generally having a good time. Plus winning some (much needed) extra cash. I’m sure the security guy was hovering around me because I appeared intoxicated, dangerously so. I was just worn out. So walking and talking? I ran right into a brass pole, one of those poles used for velvet ropes and crowd control. No ropes so against the glare of the casino’s lights, I mean, it was an honest mistake. Navigational mistakes like this occur, despite the corrections in the Aquarius planets. Didn’t disturb me — at all — but my little accident did incur the attention of that security guy. It’s a simple message: even when you’re winning? Even with the planets starting to line up a little better? You still have to watch where you put your feet.
Pisces: I was hungry the other morning, and I opened up the icebox to see if there was any food therein. Found some frozen squid (bait) in the freezer. In a tray in the regular section, I’ve got a collection of those bags of food-like product disbursed by a certain airline that I tend to favor. I grabbed one of the bags, ripped it open and downed the chow. I then grabbed a second one, and repeated the process. Thusly fortified, I was able to face the rest of the morning. It’s something that I’ve stuck aside, a little bit of the process that goes with life around here, just tiny morsels that I’ve picked up along the way. Typically, I’ll just accept the little thing of food, and stick it in my pack. Then I’ll dump them in the icebox. Fishing hasn’t been so hot lately, so it’s obvious I won’t be having any of that real soon now. But I do have some leftover material that’s worth a quick munch, and it’s basically free. Mars is moving towards a point where he’s going to be opposite from your current position. Going to be a bit weird, and a Mr. Mars can leave you a little fractured-feeling. A tiny morsel, just like an in-flight grab bag of “food-like substances” can go a long way towards improving your sweet Pisces disposition. Even if it feels like your working for peanuts.
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copyright (c) 2005, 2006 Kramer Wetzel, for astrofish.net
