Fishing Guide to the Stars
by Kramer Wetzel
(c) 2005, 2006 by Kramer Wetzel for astrofish.net
For the Week starting: 10.5.2006
“What a disgrace is it to me to remember thy name!”
Shakespeare’s Henry IV, part II [II.ii.12]
Aries: I was making my way in the downtown district. Stopped and had a cup of coffee, a single shot of espresso in the early fall afternoon. Picked up some mail from the post office. Then, as I was traversing a side street, I noticed, up ahead, a, I’m guessing here, dwelling-impaired denizen of the streets. Wild hair, and if he didn’t have a wild beard, I might’ve guessed it was another astrologer, except I tend to be a little cleaner than that guy. He was standing on corner, carrying on an animated conversation with either a telephone pole, spirits, the Good Lord, or imaginary friends. Since my meandering direction could pass his corner, but didn’t need to pass his corner, I just crossed the street. I wasn’t scared, but then, I don’t need to tempt fate, either, and I didn’t feel like handing over money, or trying to save him, or let it worry me. I’m not heartless, as there is a homeless guy I do help out whenever I can. However, the image of me crossing the street, just to avoid what could be an uncomfortable situation made me think about Aries. No, you’re not going to be homeless, but there is s simple step you can take, just to avoid what’s obviously a situation that you want to avoid. You can walk right up the guy and try to talk to him, but he’s doing fine, conversing with the pole. Might just want to sidestep the problem.
Taurus: Another astrologer confronted me about the selection of a date for an event, “The moon was such and such, and the sun was in the wrong sign, and Mars? Did you even think about that?” Well, actually, yes, I did think about all that. What I was faced with was making decisions based on client input, available locations, available dates, weekends that weren’t already booked, and more of the same. Instead of picking the best date, what I had to do was pick the best available date. I couldn’t get the dates I wanted, I’ve done all of this before, and I’m fast at it, but the client’s input was a bigger part of the equation. It’s easy to pick apart someone else’s decisions, especially when the person doing the picking apart doesn’t have all the facts. Plus family, did I mention that distant relatives had to be worked in to appease the client’s date? So there’s that, too. Like me, you’re going to be confronted with a decision you’ve rendered. Like me, the person doing the confronting isn’t going to be too pleased with your decision because, I think part of the problem was that I was consulted and not the other person, the face-value of the decision isn’t too hot. You can either shrug it off, or, you can turn it over to the other person. Doesn’t much matter, you’re the target fort the moment. Me? I stand by my decision and I’ll stand by your decisions, but then, like me, you understand the process.
Gemini: I was ‘free lining’ some worms. Live worms, no less. After a little trial and error, mostly error, or, as I prefer to refer to it, “research,” I discovered that live, wiggly worms seem to be the only thing that works on certain fish. It’s tricky and I’d like to think it’s like fly-fishing, since it’s a delicate process. The water’s clear enough to see several feet into the murky depths. Therefore, the fish see me, and I see them. Nothing’s quite as nice as watching a bass roll over and eye me, then sniff at the worm, wiggling on the bottom of the creek, gobble the worm, and then I get to pull him (the fish) up for a little photo-op. Splish-splash, back in the creek. What’s good is the action, the hunt, the chase. Care, lightweight gear, no bobber, cork, no weight to disturb the fish, just a worm plunked down in front, and being a nice guy, I let him keep the worm. Usually. Just feeding my friends. Can’t do this all the time, conditions have to be about perfect, and not so long ago, they were. In Gemini land, conditions are perfect. The water’s clear, you can see what you’re trying to do, now, it’s up to that delicate delivery of the bait. Looks easy. Turns out to be a little harder than it seems. Practice, skill and luck all have a hand in this. As a Gemini, you have the skill and luck on your side, the question is, are you the person holding the fishing rod? Or did that wiggly thing really get your attention?
Cancer: for years and years, I’ve struggled with carry-on baggage. It’s less about what I carry, and more about how I carry it. Laptop, phone, gadgets, and I prefer a regular looking briefcase with a solder strap. Regrettably, my massage friends can’t condone that. It pulls on my back in an ungainly fashion, and even a few steps with a heavily laden shoulder bag has deleterious effects. Like a weird lower back pain. Which, if you’re into it, the lower back is the source of emotional turmoil, as well. So using a shoulder bag that only slings over one side isn’t a good idea. I’ve used backpacks, too, and I finally settled on one that seemed okay, although, the process is ongoing. Like me, you can make a simple “lifestyle” adjustment, and like me, you can alleviate some emotional pain. It can be simple solution, too. It can be as simple as sliding both shoulder straps on, and properly distributing the weight of the Cancer’s burden. The burden? It’s Mars, the Sun and Venus, all in Libra. Share the load.
Leo: I was trying to put a couple of CDs’ worth of music onto a portable music player. I ran into a problem, there was just only so much room on the player. It couldn’t hold all songs and albums I wanted (old player). Looks like it would only hold about 300 songs or so. Maybe four hours of battery life. Get an image? What I had to do was edit down the list of items that I absolutely had to have. Early album by a particular artist? Whole album, or just that one song? Latest release? B-Side, a couple of tracks, or just the one big hit? Decisions, decisions. As I was looking the list I was burning onto the player, I was thinking about Leo, as a matter of fact. You never escape my attention, first and foremost. And what I was thinking? Like me trying to fit too much onto a tiny player? There’s a certain amount of discipline that’s required by my fine Leo friends. It’s a mater of picking and choosing what’s most important. The only problem, see, there’s that new CD and I wanted the whole album, at first. And the classics? Got to have a few of them. But to fit it all onto a single, tiny mp3 player? What’s the most important? That required discipline. Like Leo. Pare away at the excess.
Virgo: “I’m from California. That means it’s now okay to have red wine with fish or white with beef.” We were dining out and heard that comment from an adjoining table. Sounds a little circumspect to me, but not being a wine drinker these days, I guess I might be out of that loop. As far as I recall, though, choosing a wine has to do with flavor, not color. Although, I’m sure, color has a lot to do with flavor, but a wine that’s beet red or a light urine sample color, I don’t get how this matters with what kind of main dish is for dinner. I’ll admit, a healthy portion of my friends enjoy wine — wine that comes from a box or, at the very least, has a screw top “cork.” I want you to consider breaking some rules, too. Or, instead of breaking the rules, perhaps bending them a bit, just in order to get what you really want. The old rule of thumb, that I recall from more epicurean days, was that the color of the wine was supposed to match the main course. Like red wine with red meat, and white wine with fish or fowl. According to that one guy from “the wine country,” though, it’s now okay to bend these rules. Give a spin. Enjoy good results.
Libra: Happy Birthday! You thought I forgot, didn’t you? Way it goes. Now, onto other items, like what’s in store. Most, if not all, of the birthday folks this week, they should be okay. It’s the other Libra and Libra-like individuals that I’d worry about. It’s not so much worry, either, just a silent sense of frustration, like, there’s an itch someplace, but the exact location can’t be defined. It’s really a solar itch, but I’m not prepared to explain or defend my position and research on this one. Just go with it, okay? Birthday this week? Good. Birthday Libra but not this week? Less than wonderful. By no means bad, not at all, but there’s a little voice in the back of your head, a little, bothersome, noise that keeps asking stupid questions, like, “What’s that noise under the hood?” and “Who was that asking that question?” Some of these questions are well-founded, but you don’t need to worry about them at this moment. I wouldn’t worry about the motor making noise, unless, of course, you did forget to put any oil in, back when it was low. Nope, no problems at all.
Scorpio: “Lupita, Latina girls do it hotter.” It was a note, tucked and taped inside the little folder thing that a restaurant bill comes in, whatever those things are called. Lupe, or some similar name, maybe even Lupita, was the server that afternoon. Scorpio, too. With typical Scorpio allure. After I forked over a credit card, she looked, “Oops, I don know how that happen.” She giggled a Scorpio giggle, covering her mouth, acting as if it was a complete surprise. Which it might’ve been. At the moment, I’d like to think she was countering my charm with her own flirtation, but in my mind, after a cursory examination of the proffered check, I had to figure it was just another employee trick. Never hurts to try, though. I left my usual generous tip because I’m an obnoxious customer. Plus, I’ve lived on tips before, so I understand, what goes around, comes around. The warning, though, that goes with this week’s missive, it has to do with the feigned look of innocence on her part. I’m not buying that. I seriously doubt that she didn’t know that the little advertising was in there. Didn’t bother me a bit, as I’m sure ever single male she serves gets the same folder for a bill. However,
Sagittarius: “Through no fault of my own, the computers all went down.” That was the story, and I’m not buying it. Just not buying it at all. It was the way the story was put out, and as a good Sagittarius, I tend to believe what’s said in a situation like this, but in this case, I was a little different, I lost my normal Sagittarius “believe anything” attitude. Perhaps it was the phrasing, perhaps it was the way he started with “Through no fault of my own,” or perhaps it was the insincerity I perceived in his voice. Sagittarius isn’t so much gullible as we are susceptible. Therein is the problem. That’s also the first nod towards a solution, too, instead of buying that line, that phrase, that scenario — some other person’s excuse — instead of buying it wholeheartedly, perhaps, just maybe, act a little more circumspect. A little doubt, perhaps a question instead of just accepting a statement at face value, which is what we normally do, maybe, just on the off chance that there isn’t a lot of truth in there? Give it a shot. Think before you accept that offer.
Capricorn: I spent the most frustrating morning, the other afternoon. I was just going to cast a few times, just catch a morning fish, and call it a day. But the fish weren’t biting. I got a couple of perch, but those don’t count. There’s a gang of little bass, yearlings, most near a dozen now, and they were popping the surface, occasionally breaking into a boiling mass of activity as they chased little bait fish. I could see them. They, apparently, could see me, too. I tried several combination, caught a tree, caught a new stump, previously unexplored territory, but I never got a bass. One tiny feller choked the bait halfway into his mouth, but he couldn’t get around the hook (#2). So I would cast out, drag red worm with a wiggly tail through the clear Autumn water, and watch, slightly miffed, while the gang would scatter, chase, but never bite the bait. I started at ten in the morning, and suddenly, four or five hours later, I was hot, sweaty, and bereft of any game fish. Some days are like that, here on the lake. Likewise, some days are like that in Capricorn. What worse, you’re just like me, you can see the fish chase your bait, you can see the action, the way it wiggles, the way the fish wiggle, the chase and then, the chaste. That’s both of us, Capricorn and me. We just can’t quite get to what we’re trying to get to. I didn’t consider it a wasted effort, though, as I discovered a new stump, a new place to fish, and what was — at least — attracting their attention. Maybe next week? Maybe they’ll be biting. Should’ve been here yesterday.
Aquarius: I was working with a schedule problem with my sister. Her schedule, performances, rehearsals and so forth. Then my schedule, appearances, readings and so forth. Then trying to arrange some party plans. We were listing weekends, looking at numbers, trying to figure out how to get together, when and where, and it’s all about compromise. Really didn’t take that long, and the conversation was laced with family gossip, professional news, compare and contrast career choices, as well the usual complaints I tend to receive from family members. The point of compromise, though, we achieved that. Pretty easy, in and amongst the filler talk. It can be done, it’s just a matter of give and take. What works. What doesn’t work. When a time is good. When isn’t a time good? Aquarius is like that single conversation, arranging and rearranging schedules to meet family obligations, business obligations and social obligations. It’s all about compromise, and there’s a certain amount of that occurring here. I can only hope that your conversations towards this end can be as pleasant a that one was. I can’t say that they all end like that, though.
Pisces: ‘Yeah, I’m on the guest list. Check with management,” I commanded. I used an authoritative voice, sounded a little bored, like I’ve been through this many times, and I was half-expecting to just get waved through. “You have to use the other gate, I don’t have the guest list here,” was the reply. I muttered some expletive, and me and a date wandered off to the other gate. Here’s the kicker, I wasn’t really on the guest list. I wasn’t a rider in the band’s contract. I know the signer’s girlfriend’s sister-in-law, via client. Not really a connection, but it was worth a try. Instead of just “pony up” the ticket price, I was trying to bet the odds. It’s a slightly risky game plan. Doesn’t always work. With long hair, I can sometimes slide through the back gate by the usual, “I’m with the band, man.” Worked until some asked where my guitar was. As if. And me and the guitar case? That’s a different story. However, the sister-in-law came through with the guest list, much to my surprise. I wasn’t really expecting it, times being what they are. Or, it might have been my charming personality, but at least one Pisces will doubt that. Or, it could be some other factor, like maybe someone knew someone who knew someone, and it really worked. Face-to-face with certain opposing forces, plus a little extra kick from the planets? I think you can try either one of my lines. Either, “I’m with the band, man.” Or, the more mundane, “I’m on the guest list.” You’ll be pleasantly surprised to find at least one door is opened for you.
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copyright (c) 2005, 2006 Kramer Wetzel, for astrofish.net
