It’s an old tale, I’ve told and retold the story, and the funny part, to me, is it’s a true story. No, I’m not making this one up. But I did use part of it in a horoscope.
The way the story goes, see, I’ve got this bad habit. When I’m wandering through the big department store, in the mall, and this could be just about anywhere, I try and spray on those free samples of expensive perfume. Girl smell. The samples, they are free, that’s just an invitation to use. Or abuse, kind of depends.
So the back end of the story is this, one guy, his nickname is "Bubba," he had stopped at the mall. I was in tow. At that time, been a few long years, he was seeing this girl who lived in another state. Way far away. Like Arkansas or something. She was set to fly in that very evening, and he was at the mall, like a dutiful boyfriend, just days before Xmas, to pick her up one last gift.
Thoughtful guy. Nice gesture. Bad move, taking me.
The purchase was obviously made in the "women" department of the store at the mall. That’s where I had a chance to wander, in amongst the little displays, and, as usual, I found myself testing what the testers had offered. Being, basically, a white suburban child of a certain age, the mall is familiar territory. Being stuck while a buddy shops in the all-female section, that’s a little different. One must amuse one’s self.
I started sampling perfumes, as is my wont. I think I had ten or twelve brands, up and down my arms. My buddy got whatever it was he was getting, and we hopped back in his car. Some comments were exchanged.
He drops me, and he goes on to the airport to pick up the arriving girlfriend.
She hops in the car, takes one whiff, and asks who the girl was riding before her.
"Kramer, it was Kramer, no really, it was him.,…"
If I recall, I had to call up and explain why I was wearing thirteen different shades of perfume.
