For the Week starting: 4.12.2007

"With each end of thy blue bow dost crown
My bosky acres, and my unshrubb’d down.
Rich scarf to my proud earth."
Shakespeare’s The Tempest [IV.i.90-4]

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ariAries: I was in a nicer hotel, at least, nicer by my standards, and there was a hair dryer in the bathroom — standard issue hotel hair dryer. Whenever I flipped the light switch off for the bathroom the light on the hair dryer would flash. Didn’t bother me, as I don’t ever use a hair dryer. The little red-orange light would flash like the message light on the hotel phone So I had a notion, and I called up the front desk, "Hey, how do I get a message off the hair dryer?" I was politely asked if I needed some assistance, and I suggested that there was a message, and then the front desk person was left a little exasperated.

I’m guessing at that last part, but it’s not hard to imagine. I could easily imagine that the clerks would be rolling their eyes, thinking, "That weird guy in room 99 is off his medication again." I thought it was funny, but I’m not sure everyone else got the joke — and I’m sure at least one Virgo-like person will be worried that there was a short in the hair dryer. Which I doubt, or I would’ve made a bigger issue.

I think it had to do with batteries and the electricity for the bathroom when the light switch was off. But like my joke, and like my observations, there’s going to be a single point that gets missed by a number of people. Mars, in Pisces, before you, can’t do much about that. And you can’t do much about people not getting the joke, either. Or getting the message from the hair dryer.

tauTaurus: You know, you’re that close to having it all. "All of what, Mr. Smart Guy?" All of whatever it is that your little Taurus heart of hearts desires. The single obstacle here is time. Like about ten days. Ten days from the beginning of this scope is the time when you need to give it a little more time. I mean, for that next ten days or so, a little time, a little patience and little perseverance will serve your fine Taurus self rather well. It’s all a matter of working with what’s here, or, in our excellent Taurus situation, what isn’t here — not quite yet. But soon, very soon. That much is a promise, and the rest is all hopes and fears.

The timing is the critical part. I tend to "feed the fish" at various locations since I’m kind of limited on my lake access. The problem with feeding the fish, a little stale bread for chum, is that the ducks and swans, as well as a few large turtles, all like the same food. I have to knead the bread into dough balls, and then wait. Wait for the waterfowl to disperse, hopefully avoid some of the amphibious reptiles, and sink a little fish food. Just trying to get their attention, that’s all. But it takes time. Can’t get it over night, can’t get it done right away, and the secret is to do this for several days. Alone.

Whether you’re looking for fish for real, or fish in an allegorical sense, there’s a required action. But you can’t expect immediate results. Check with me in about two weeks, to see if I’ve caught any fish.

gemGemini: As Venus enters the Tropical Zodiac Sign of Gemini, that’s you, Ms. Venus starts to spread a little bit of love everywhere. The problem is that Venus and her brand of Love isn’t generally recognized by non-Gemini people. There is that. Plus a discordant new phase of the moon is going to leave most people a little on the cranky side. Maybe not really upset, but there’s an issue or two that’s nagging away at the Gemini brain, and you’re left wondering, "Is this all that Venus stuff?" Might well be.

To properly engage Ms. Venus and her love-light, the quickest course of action is new material. Try it. Try something different, nice and different. Present the same old material in a new light. Work on some packaging. You’ve got the touch; now work on the pitch — the right Gemini pitch.

canCancer: I hopped in the passenger seat of car, driven by a Cancer friend. "What are you hungry for?" I asked. "I don’t know," she replied, "either Tex-Mex or BBQ, you decide." There’s a reasonably common platter around here, and one place calls them "Bubba Tacos," BBQ wrapped in a tortilla. I steered the Cancer driver towards just that place. I had a succinct answer, Tex-Mex & BBQ in one location. A quick and facile answer to the burning question of the moment.

The original Cancer answer, though, was designed to stymie me, a bit of a conundrum. Nice try, didn’t work. But I’m good at dealing with Cancer folks, and I have a decent command of the local cuisine. For me, for us, that was a happy ending to a problem. Deciding where to eat dinner isn’t always the biggest question, but it can represent problems that are eerily familiar to the children of the Moon. It’s about binary decisions. It’s about solutions to problems. And it’s about treading a firm middle ground.

It’s about compromise that affords a simple solution to a question — or problem — that’s been posed. I was lucky in that I could name a few places that combined the elements and provide a satisfactory answer. Not everyone will be so lucky, but if you stop long enough to assess the riddle, you can come up with a unique — and useful — answer to the question.

leoLeo: I was down at the coast — the Gulf of Mexico — and I was fishing from the pier, at this one place I know. Always had a bit of luck there, but in the spring, I’m usually just pulling out undersized speckled trout (specks) and (rat) reds (Red Drum). Rat reds and specks, usually on live — or fresh dead — shrimp. Usually fun, too, if not the most challenging of fishing adventures. Relaxing amusement for me.

There’s a bait stand, next to the motel’s pier. On Sunday morning, I slipped over there for one quick pint of live shrimp. Two trout and a catfish later, I was out of bait, and check-out for the motel wasn’t but two hours away. I nipped back over for some more shrimp, just another pint. On the short walk over, I mused that I was heading out for one more quick pint on a Sunday morning. Sounded kind of bad. Cost five bucks. Was worth it, except I didn’t catch anything else. Well, one pin perch and two whitey, but those don’t count. However, that last pint was something I needed, or so I justified the extra expense. When the bait bucket was empty, it was time to pack the poles, close up the salt water tackle box, and head home.

Did I need that last pint? Maybe. Maybe not. As the week unfolds, think about one more pint before you head towards your next destination. I think it was worth it.

virVirgo: The bumper sticker read, "Quit bitching, start a revolution!" Loathe as I am to pass off bumper sticker wisdom as a way to deal with the future, there was a certain economy of words in the message. And I am pointing out that the easiest, most succinct way to get to deal with the problem at hand in Virgo is to quit complaining about the problem and start looking for a solution.

Mars is poking along in Pisces, and that’s going to cause some tension. What you do with that tension? That’s up to you. You can fight with the problem, but the most economical route to set about to change. Now, as a pragmatic Virgo, you realize that you can’t change everything. Some fixed obstacles are just that, unrelenting in their inability to be moved. That’s where to revolution starts. When you finally come up against that one obstacle that won’t be moved by your Virgo self? Time to enlist the assistance of others, in other words, start a revolution. Or, like my minimalist approach, motivate a couple of strong guys to lend support to the cause.

libLibra: I don’t know why, but most coffee shops that I frequent are associated with bakeries. There’s usually a display case right next to the cash register, full of goodies. Scones, biscuits, brownies, big cookies, pieces of pie. Just lots of stuff. Rolls. Croissants. Baked stuff. And at one place, there’s usually, by Tuesday morning, a second basket that’s got "day-old" baked goodies. On occasion, I’ve been given free stuff. On other occasions, I’ve had to purchase, but that’s not the point, whether the food is free or not.

I’ve found, to my unrefined and somewhat crude sensibilities, that the day-old baked goods are close enough to being really good. I can buy one, and stick it in my pocket, and enjoy it at a later time. It’s just fine. I can’t tell the difference, other than it’s half-price, or, on some days, free. The point is cheap. What costs less, and yet is equally good? Whether it’s me, cruising for an afternoon snack, or you, looking for a less-expensive alternative, either way, I can suggest that a little bit of examination, perhaps some Libra taste-testing, will yield up the results you’re seeking. Go ahead — try the day-old stuff. Costs less and is equally filling.

scoScorpio: This happened right around the corner from me, literally, but the scene, in one form or another, can be repeated around the world. There was a car slowing down for a traffic light. The lady in the car behind the car slowing down was forced to curb her enthusiasm, i.e., slow down, too. She became visibly agitated. She honked her horn. She hit the steering wheel with an angry fist. She gestured in manner suggestive of violence. The car in front of her, slowing for a yellow light, was impeding rapid forward motion. Adding seconds to her trip.

I watched, from a safe distance on the curb, wishing I had a movie camera with me. As the angry lady eventually rolled past, I couldn’t help but notice that there was but a single adornment on her car’s backside: a fish plaque. Fish with a tiny cross in its eye. It’s a universal symbol for a particular faith. Me? I’d prefer a plaque like that, only with "5 pound bass" in it. What I liked was the understated statement of faith, not too glaring. What I found vastly amusing was the uncharacteristic display of anger at another driver — not very Christian-like, in my mind. But I might be judgmental. Before you flip someone off in traffic? Before you lean on the horn? Think about what message you’re sending, and think about identifying characteristics of your vehicle. What message are you really sending?

sagSagittarius: I was buying bait from a bright pink bait stand, down in a little coastal town. The old shrimper took one long, loving, leering look at the woman I was traveling with, and he launched into a sad story about being married for 49 years.

The story, as I heard it, was that his wife ran off with some other guy, probably younger. My traveling companion heard a different tale, though, it was about love lost, and how miserable that old shrimper was (without his wife who either passed away or ran off, depends).

We both heard him mumble about love and loss, the ocean, and watched while he fed a long-legged heron. Same source, but completely different interpretations. One is romantic. One is pragmatic. One is realistic, the other is fantasy. It’s all about how two people approach the same tale, in this example, given the same incoming data. But two different conclusions. Again, it’s about how our Sagittarius selves are looking at a situation.

capCapricorn: Music was shuffling through my speakers, and I wasn’t paying close attention. Some older "Austin alt country," then some classic rock, then a classical piece I wasn’t paying much attention, when, from soaring lyrics, and soaring guitars solos, it was suddenly rap music. I’m unsure of the artist, or the artistry, but I could recognize the musical genre. And I could make a fair approximation of the artist’s name, since it was my musical arrangement.

While it was disconcerting, in a way, it was also oddly comforting that the usual includes the unusual. While it’s not a musical form that I tend to favor, that doesn’t mean it’s not a valid form expression. Just goes against my tastes, usually. But these are unusual times, and it’s a matter of looking — or listening — for clues that are different.

As the Sun and Mercury form a tension angle, there’s going to be a tune that you might not like, and it cycles up. Worth listening to, if only for a little while. Give whatever falls in your purview a little extra consideration, see if you can’t step outside of your typical, preferred listening, just for the sake inspiration.

aquAquarius: I’ve got an Aquarius fishing guide that I’ve found I really enjoy. He’s such a typical Aquarius, too, consider that it’s the sign of the water bearer, not a water sign itself. He’s great because he knows how to read water. He can spot a Red Drum’s fin in the shallow bay waters, or watch the ripples and tell where a school of fish is submerged, even twenty or thirty feet down.

Ask him, though, and it’s all about reading the motion of the waves. Water, motions, and emotions are part of what makes this week what it is. Learning to read the water’s surface, in effect, water scrying to some, is what it’s about now that Mars is moving on down the line to bother other signs. Fish: Mars goes into Pisces. As an Aquarius, though, there’s still a little residual Mars flotsam still hanging in here. I can’t fix that. But imagine that you’re the guide, on the boat, and you’re reading the water, looking at the minute surface fluctuations, and watching while you determine what activity indicates the action you’re seeking. Can be like me, looking for fish. Or it could be something else. But patient and attentive observation is what is called for. It has to do with reading the water, and knowing where to look. Mars is done with his fry. Take time and point the rest of us to fish.

pisPisces: There was this one, lonely guy floating around at an outdoor venue, late spring evening, the twang of honky-tonk music lazily filling the air. Might have been fireflies present, but I wouldn’t count on it. His T-shirt had, in large, bold letters, between stylized and overly large quote marks, DEFINE GIRLFRIEND as the simple message.

I thought it was pretty funny. Makes a good t-shirt, in a young, adult male way. Or adolescent humor, anyway. And since it was predominately a younger crowd, I’ll assume that the young man wasn’t bereft of companionship by the night’s end. Although, early in the evening, he did seem to have a bit of a forlorn look about him. Perhaps beer is the solution. Perhaps a different choice of attire. I have to wonder about the message.

Careful about what is being advertised in Pisces-land, these days. With Mars acting like a hot griddle, and your Pisces brains being mashed down by Mars, on that hot griddle? A shirt that I think is funny and amusing? A message that you — probably me too — personally like? Might not work for the masses. Have to think about that. Besides, how are you going to define "girlfriend?" (Or boyfriend, spouse, significant other, whatever is the correct moniker.)

About the author: Born and raised in a small town in East Texas, Kramer Wetzel spent years honing his craft in a trailer park in South Austin. He hates writing about himself in third person. More at KramerWetzel.com.

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