"What you do still betters what is done."
Shakespeare’s The Winter’s Tale [IV.iv.135]


sagSagittarius: There’s a song that comes to mind, a lyric, anyway, and the singer I heard, on the radio the other day, the version I heard, he’s a local performer. Makes it a little more poignant. The lick? "You’re always 17 in your home town." Particularly important as we all head-butt our way in the holiday situations.

Mars leaves this point where — it just seems — items don’t line up quite right. The point where the family is supposed to get together, the late one is early, the early one is late, the quiet one is noisy and the noisy one is quiet. Singly, none of these are an issue. Together? It’s a little worrisome. Or a big worrisome. Then too, as the family grouping emerges and gets ready for the holidays? If I return to the family places, I hear that lyric, in an oddly prescient way.

I’m suggesting that similar event is unfolding, like that song, like me, for just about all Sagittarius. Adjust how we think about being around parents, friends, family. Before you get into the old dynamic, consider a way to change that lyric, and perhaps, it could happen, we could act like we’re 21 this year. (Remind me in two weeks.)


capCapricorn: This was just scary, to me. I was pushing a shopping cart around a big mega-store. The kind of place that sells tires and groceries, and infant clothing, and retirement plans. There was a huge pallet of Xmas gifts in the center of an aisle. Something plastic, cheap and encased in more plastic. Two guys were approaching and one of them hit the pallet, causing a cascading effect as gifts showered down from the pallet.

The other guy smirked loudly and made a smart quip, "Yeah, he was looking at the women." Imagine where I was. Imagine what the "women" must look like. Consider how that might be a distraction, or, for that matter, for whom? When I’m shopping for cheap, tawdry and sundry items, this is an adventure for me. But I was internally shaken and strained to consider that those guys would crash a cart because those guys were cruising the babes. All pretty scary. With Mars backwards? Careful with the shopping cart. And careful with where you’re cruising babes.


aquAquarius: I’m a patient observer of humanity. I was in a Tex-Mex restaurant, I’m kind of regular there (No. 2 Dinner), and there’s a family I recognized, as they’ve dined there before — at the same time I’ve been there. Sort of a mirror image of my childhood. An older, maybe 6 years old, male child, Quiet, behaved, demure, and a curly-headed girl, maybe 4 years old? Bouncing up and down on the bench seat in the booth, looking every where except at the food in front of her.

Mirror image of my childhood.

The parents, safe assumption, were quietly discussing something. The boy-child was solemn and the girl-child was out-of-control. Too much sugar? Too much caffeine? Too much Xmas spirit? Something like that. Could merely be a function of age, but I’m guessing that there’s a number of factors that lead to the girl-child’s seat-jumping. And I’m guessing that the parents are used to it, almost immune, as the child wasn’t distracting enough to cause a break in the adults’ conversation.

I’m imagining that the Aquarius life is like that the solemn child, quietly biding his time, being good for goodness’ sake, knowing in his heart that his little sister is just acting like a little girl. Parents, solemn and well-behaved child, that’s the Aquarius. Or should be. If you are jumping up and down in the seat? Causing a scene or consternation? Remember, we’ll just ignore you until you behave better.


pisPisces: I was in a chain bookstore, and I was reading the back cover quotes on a bestseller. I got to wondering , though, if there was the liberal use of ellipses, and if what the other authors wrote, if that was really what they meant, or, was some of that just fabricated copy? Perhaps it was along the lines of "experts say," and you wonder just where these experts are from.

By that same token, I could be an expert. But the way I was imagining this, one author would write, "No one would confuse this riveting waste of paper with a masterpiece." Which then becomes, on the back of the book, "Riveting… a masterpiece!" I’m not saying that this is deliberately misleading, although, you know, it is deliberately misleading.

The way the planets are lined up for Pisces? I’d be careful about the misleading information. I’d want to know where the experts earned their accreditations, and I’d like to know what the words were, like that back-cover quote, what words have been replaced with blank spaces. Play inquiring minds. You know, "inquiring minds want to know."


ariAries: I queried a certain magazine about me writing an astrology article for them. By the time the query letter was answered, then follow-up note, then submission quote and the follow-up to the follow-up, by the time the editor got a clear image of just who I was, and what I was proposing, my attention span had veered.

I write the article, anyway, but when I weighed the article — word count — against the volume of words used to pitch and then sell, then close the idea? The pitch used a lot more words than the article itself. Which, I might add, the article was rejected. Not that it matters, because I covered the same material, at a more leisurely pace, here on the website.

Never let a written word go to waste, recycle it on the website, what I tend to do. But the exercise, it was illuminating. What the (pompous) editors want. How much butt must be kissed, ego strokes, and so forth? Just to get consideration? Is it really worth the effort? As my only recent foray into conventional media, yes, it was a worthwhile experience. The magazine makes it appear as if the editors are a humble bunch. They’re not. Like me, you’re doing a little query work. Don’t be upset when you start getting answers to questions.


tauTaurus: I’m often noted as being a pecuniary reprobate. Way it goes, I have to be a bit of a tightwad because, let’s face it, you guys aren’t paying enough and I refuse to raise my prices. So I’m, out of necessity, cheap. Which is why, born out of long years of need, I’ve learned to shop at the dollar stores. The best ones are the non-chain, sort of local, maybe manned by a whole family, kind of place in my old neighborhoods. Good junk and nothing ever costs more than a dollar.

I have to shop a little careful, like, stale bread? One dollar. Same stuff is less than fifty cents at the regular stale-bread store. But other deals are easy to find. I found some Santa hats, and for a dollar? That’s an okay deal. Especially before Xmas? In three weeks or so, these will be on sale everywhere, but for now? A dollar store is the place. Those Santa hats are ugly, cheaply made, and won’t stand up for more than a day or two of use. But that’s the point, too, this is a temporary situation, and tacky sometimes has its merits. While tacky and tasteless doesn’t always work for Taurus, consider that, Venus opposite you and Mars backwards? Yeah, give cheap and tacky a spin.


gemGemini: Last time I stayed in a fancy hotel, Vegas, I think, and it wasn’t that fancy, but it was nicer than what I’m used to… anyway, last time I stayed in fancy place, there was the usual door hangers, don’t disturb, please make up room, and clean linens please. It was an effort to save on water, I guess. I swiped that "fresh linens" hanger. I tried it at the old trailer park.

Didn’t work. Didn’t even raise an eyebrow. I was bummed. No one noticed. It also proved my theory that the linen fairy doesn’t work in my home town. So I still don’t know how the beds get made. The laundry fairy, it doesn’t work here, either. I didn’t have to steal a door hanger to figure that out. The worse one, I swiped a "do not disturb/no moleste" sign from a local place. Fancy place, had a client there. Even that one didn’t work. Soon as I put that out, a neighbor stops by to ask me where I stole the sign from, as if the hotel (not even a motel) name isn’t visible.

This isn’t really all about swiping door hangers from fancy hotels; this about the let down that occurs when you realize that the magic little door hangers? They only work in certain locations. This all about what does work. Or, in some cases, what doesn’t work. Figure it out and don’t be upset when the laundry fairy, or the dish fairy doesn’t come along and clean up the Gemini mess.


canCancer: I was thinking about the hotel door hangers, see Gemini above, and Cancer. Except, it’s two completely different trains of thought. Gemini, they need one thing. Cancer? Much simpler. You need a single , "Do Not Disturb" sign. It’s really very easy. Beg, borrow or steal. Get one. Put it on your room. House. Trailer, wherever you live. You can even steal an excuse from me, "Hey, I’m busy wrapping presents, LEAVE ME ALONE RIGHT NOW."

I doubt that you’re really going to be wrapping that many presents but a little time alone? Left to your own devices? Believe it or not, you’ll feel a little better. It’s a matter of getting a little distance from the maddening crowds. It’s about losing yourself in a solitary endeavor. Gives you a chance to get a better perspective on the teeming masses you encounter. There’s a greater depth of appreciation, a greater understanding and more love in your heart — if they will leave you alone. Could be just a single evening in the next week, or it could be all week long, but you need a little time away from it all. Just a little break, it will help get your holiday spirit back into shape in no time.


leoLeo: You know I love Leo, right? You’re the best sign, right? I’m leaving it at that. Your sense of style and taste is taking a turn for the worse. Not that it matters one little bit to someone like me who is obviously fashion-challenged. But I’d be a little more careful about matters that require a delicate sense of taste.

I’m not sure you’re up to your own standards. In as much as it’s the season to give stuff away, I’m not sure you should be in charge of making esthetic decisions. I’m not saying that your sense of style and taste is always bad, but this time? I’m not so sure. It’s about two week-period that this is heavily affecting you.

If it’s all about tacky and tasteless? Gag gifts? You rock at that. Silliness? Hawaiian Shirts for me? Louder and more obnoxious? You are the best. But as long as Miss Venus is in Scorpio? Watch the questions about taste. Might not be the best time to try and make the call on good design and style. Unless you’re specifically shopping for an individual, like myself, who — for sure — is challenged in this area.


virVirgo: It was random a observation in a random universe, about a random topic. Just how random is the "random" function on your iPod? Does it really shuffle the songs in a truly random order, or does your iPod pick tunes that you like, and play those more frequent? Conversation came up, and the answer was obvious. "No, really, my iPod likes ZZ Top." That’s what this one Virgo said.

While I understand the penchant for a trio from Texas, I’m also inclined to suggest that my iPod has the algorithm, because my iPod seems to play a lot of the same group. However, this might be a function of more music from that one band’s career, spanning 4 decades of popular music, and it could be the volume of the material contained therein. That could sway the numbers, and that could make it seem like the random machine was playing favorites.

Then, too, there’s the sense of perception, and how much does that weigh in the question of random favorites? The point about this is about the random nature of the universe, and how we tend impose order, structure and patterns, when, in fact, there are none. Saturn is structure, patterns and, more important, order out of chaos. The problem with Saturn is trying to see a pattern, when there really isn’t one.


libLibra: I was on the highway, little rent car, probably going some place for work. I looked up as I passed a large rig. It was a mobile home, probably a snowbird, headed south. In one corner of the cab, there was a CB radio, little whip antenna clipped to the massive rear-view mirror. The radio, a hand-set’s cord hang loosely, swaying with the highway rhythm, made me pause and wonder. Does that technology exist today? Is there such a thing as the CB Radio anymore? Does it get used? Is it dated technology, like the 8-track, and to a lesser extent, the cassette for music?

Phones have all but replaced the walkie-talkie technology and digital phone service is so common, there are very few holes in the coverage maps, not anymore. So I was thinking about this after I passed the winter Texans. What happens to the dead technology? We move so fast, and the advances are coming quicker and quicker, at what point do we hold onto what we’ve got? What do you need to get rid of? That’s the question. I tend to make a little extra room on my "in-bound" bookshelf at this time of the year because there’s going to be incoming material over the next few weeks, and I need a place to stack it up. So do you.


scoScorpio: Venus makes nice, and Mars makes ugly. You get to pick, too, which side of that equation, which side of the equal sign you want to be this next ten days or so. After what you’ve been through? I’d pick for the side of Venus. I’d go for the easy stuff, like the Venus items. This is the season for gift giving. My poor fishing buddies, though, they are all kind of sick of the gifts and me.

I get a lot of crap sent to me, items with the fishing motif. So what I have to do is merely recycle a lot of that fishing stuff to my fishing buddies. Hats, pens, pencils, notepads, various do-dads, I’ve seen it all. Received it all, too. What’s funny, is to see the same item show up two or three times, like the hat with the fish head on its bill? Three times. Means I’ve given it to three different friends. One of them, he had the temerity to suggest he would never wear such an outrageous hat. I told him it was lucky hat, infused good energy, guaranteed to catch fish if he were wear it. I don’t think the hat really worked. No more comments from him, about the hat.

But what I was doing, pretending to be Scorpio, and pretending to be on the Venus side. Make everything all nice like. It’s just much easier. Me in that hat? That’s just an ugly picture.

About the author: Born and raised in a small town in East Texas, Kramer Wetzel spent years honing his craft in trailer park in South Austin. He hates writing about himself in third person. More at KramerWetzel.com.

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