For the Week starting: 12.6.2007

"At Christmas I no more desire a rose
Than wish a snow in May’s new-fangled shows;
But like of each thing that in season grows."
Shakespeare’s Love’s Labour’s Lost


sagSagittarius: There’s some pretty heady symbolism in Sagittarius. Between our most popular planet, Jupiter, and Mars (now retrograde), there’s a hint that this is really more about work and less about having fun. It’s not that we don’t get to have fun along the way, but there’s a suggestion that work is pretty important. And it’s all about how we manage our time.

What I’ve found, most employers tend to discourage employees from "surfing the net" and more important, certain website (like astrofish.net) are blocked by employers. However, if you were to take lunch at the desk, like I often do, then the hour spent shopping online, with that employer’s fat & fast internet connection? That can go by much quicker. Can get more done at work’s speed than with the old dial-up connection at home.

The bonus at work is that no one can figure out what you’ve been shopping for. The problem is that some of the more amusing sites are blocked. And there’s oftentimes no way to retrieve personal email. And so on. Still, working through lunch hour isn’t a bad idea. It will buy good graces from the boss, and that’s something you can take to the bank. Xmas bonus, you know?


capCapricorn: I always like reading what other people in the field of prognostications say at times like these. "You can make significant gains right now." And the usual, "This is a good time for love/money/romance/travel."


This isn’t really a good time for much, unless, of course, you’re willing to singularly pursue a dedicated objective. That works. I’d tend to steer away from the heady world of romance since love and its neighbors tend to lead to romantic entanglements. So I’d go easy on that side, but doggedly pursing some other kind goal? That does go in your favor, provided, you stick to the objective. It’s really simple. Hold that goal up, and assiduously, and without any malice in your heart, go for it. Push until you get where you’re going, that single goal.


aquAquarius: The real secret to making money in the internet? Start a dating site. Pick a niche group and cater exclusively to that group. While there really won’t be a group that you’re catering to, it will appear that way, and you’ll have lots of business. The way it works, start the site out for free, then, once they’re hooked good, and the business is exploding, takes about six or eight weeks, then start adding the premium services — that’s where you make the big bucks.

And dating sites? They eventually get consumed by larger dating sites. Besides, look around, the holidays, the planets, what everyone is looking for? A date for New Year’s Eve, right? Here’s your chance to cash in on a single craze. Get with it. And when you do sell out, and cash in on the big bucks, in about a year? Remember it was my idea and small fee, just a single percentage, of your big deal, that would be nice.

The problems facing us today can be solved with a little more love and little less antagonism. And even better, you could cash in on this very feeling. Saddle up and then sell out, it works for you and it works for me, as long as I get a percentage.


pisPisces: I blew that one. Last week’s predictions? Didn’t work out at all, none of the good stuff promised has materialized just yet. While I can’t make the good things in life just magically appear — although — several clients think I can — that doesn’t mean that your little Pisces heart can’t make magic.

You have the touch, and while everyone else is fumbling and bumbling along, there’s a sense that you can help ease over some of these rough patches.

You have an ability to spread a kind of Pisces balm on the situations — the biggest problem? Don’t you wish you could get a little bit of the cheer and company for yourself, too?


ariAries: I was fooling around with a piece of digital art. It as originally a just a picture, and it wasn’t even a good picture at that, not what I had intended, anyway. I had in my mind’s eye, a differently framed shot, with blue skies, not fleecy white clouds, like I got. And I was thinking of a shot from the left, but this one, looked like it was from the right. But as I teased, cropped, twiddled the exposure, and otherwise messed around the original image, I wound up with a fairly decent photograph.

Digital image, anyway. Which is what I was looking for originally, but the finished product? It wasn’t what I started with and in my original plans? Nothing like what I was intending to make. However, that’s the way the artist works. Or the hack who’s just tweaking images for a website. It wasn’t what I set out to make, but it did turn out rather nice. Your purported destination? And where you really arrive? Don’t worry if the goal isn’t achieved, you’ll get where you’re supposed to be.


tauTaurus: One buddy was looking for another buddy’s house. The one doing the looking called me, "Hey, I’m on my way over to (friend’s name), can you tell me how to get there?" I gave accurate, detailed directions, from the freeway, until I got to the part about the address, the street number. I don’t think I’ve even got that as a numeric street address, just about the third, or sixth, or maybe second, house on the end of the first, maybe the second block. Could be the third block, too, but I’m not sure.

The reason I’m so unsteady about that part is that the phone is on the speed dial, and the house usually has a boat, hooked up and ready to fish, out front. "Yeah, that’s easy, just look for the house with the boat in the garage," was my best answer. Yeah, and I ought to be in management, with answers like that, accurate, useless and clueless. You’re going to encounter, within the next few days of this merry holiday season, someone with directions like mine. Listen closely. There’s a clue in those direction, the house with the bass boat in the garage. You’ll get to the destination with just a few little inept commands along the way.


gemGemini: I was reading a friend’s web journal, one of those on-line "bloggie" things. I’m not cool, so I’m not sure what it’s called. I enjoy my buddy’s writing style, and I like the way he slams words together. In the past, I haven’t always agreed with his political stance, but that doesn’t hinder friendship and kinship. Except, what I thought I read was heavily slanted towards one party whereas, what I read the other afternoon was heavily slanted towards the other party. Political party, get your mind out of the holiday mode.

Pretty weird, to me. Here, I thought I had my little buddy all figured out and he was suddenly claiming a different stance from what I supposed had been there. Which means, either my memory is faulty, or his wording was faulty, or perhaps, I read something between the lines that wasn’t really there.

There is a final possibility, too, that I was leaping to conclusions based upon an analysis of his analysis, which could, in turn have been a bad jump for me to make. I’d watch out, too, in Gemini land, as there’s an assumption that you’ve made, uncomfortable yet comfortable, and that assumption might be all wrong. Like me.


canCancer: Mars makes us active and a little restless. Or a lot restless, kind of depends on where you fall with the Mars situation. I was with a friend and she had just picked up a small Gingerbread House. Apparently, it was a gift. To me, it looked like food. Despite my unique persuasive abilities, I couldn’t convince this particular girl to let us both sample the house. I suspect that she knew better.

A candy house, covered with confectionary trim, and base itself, sweet and delicious gingerbread? Doubt that the house would remain standing. Like me, like that girl, like that gingerbread house that was clearly a gift for someone else, a little restraint is in order. It could be as simple as merely keeping the offending free-loader out of the kitchen.

Someone like me? Doesn’t bode well to have me tasting items that might be gifts. Think about what a half-eaten gingerbread house looks like. After all, I’d only be testing the planking. So the goal, with Mars in your sign like he is? The goal is to find a nice way to keep leeches like me under control.


leoLeo: I was in the mall, the other afternoon. Shopping. Seems that my little sister has given me one, fairly simple task, only, it’s less easy than it sounded. Something she couldn’t get, but I’m sure I could pick up. So I made the annual Xmas trek to the mall. I hate crowded shopping places. This one mall, too, it’s a two-story affair, so I hopped on the non-moving escalator to ride it up to the second floor, to get where I was supposed to be, and I discovered that it wasn’t a working escalator. It was an expensive set of steel steps. Normally, a challenge like steps wouldn’t phase me. The sheer physical effort is usually invigorating.

To a pedestrian like me, this isn’t generally an issue. But as I climbed that stairway to heaven, I got dizzy. A slight discomfort overcame me. I felt a little disoriented. I think, me being basically a visual guy, that it was the pattern in the escalator’s tread, the way the glass handrail topped by a rubber-like hand-guard, the way it all combined. Made me a little dizzy. I seriously doubt it was the physical exertion. Then too, it might’ve just been sheer psychic overload, the shock of the mall at Xmas time. Whatever the source, I did surmount the dead escalator, and I did achieve my goal. Dead escalator and dizziness aside, you can easily overcome and surmount the problems of the immediate Leo future. Grab the handrail and push forward, onward, upward.


virVirgo: Bedding is complicated. Pretty easy for a guy like me, I can just wrap myself in a towel, and call it good for the night. I’m not complicated. But "girl stuff" is difficult to grasp. I was sent to the specialty store to find a "boudoir" pillow. Now I like learning about different stuff, but I never heard of a "boudoir" pillow.

Turns out that it’s a little pillow, like a regular pillow, only smaller. And why it needed a different name? Probably someone in marketing came up with a great idea that a French name would sell more, at a higher price, than the standard "littler pillow" term. But I was tasked with a mission, and I accomplished the mission, after a false start or two, and some lovely interaction with the Scorpio at the counter. Took a while to get it all sorted out, but eventually, I got the required "boudoir pillow."

Not that I’ll ever see the boudoir it’s intended for, but that’s a different question about another Virgo. With Saturn, and for that matter, Mars, there’s going to be a trial — maybe a short trip, and perhaps, a problem or two trying to understand the importance of some arcane bit of mechanical knowledge. Or how to make a bed properly. The things we learn when we chase the chaste.


libLibra: In the middle of the holiday rush, I picked up a piece of hardware I’ve been needing for the computer. Hundred dollar toy, just plug it in and it’s ready. Right? Wrong. I plugged it in, the box said, "Plug and Play!" and it didn’t work. I changed cables. No luck, I tried a total of four different cable options, all to no avail.

Then I tried to power it up with the supplemental power supply, although, it was supposed to be bus-powered. Again, no luck. I looked at the packing, I thought about the trek back to the store to exchange the hardware, and I grimaced. As I leafed through the packing material I found the "owner’s manual," which, to be honest, was just a double-sided piece of glossy paper, folded in two. I glanced at the instructions. "Plug and play," clear as could be. I looked again, there was a step I neglected, the "on" switch.

I didn’t know bus-powered, plug and play devices had a switch. This one did. Problem solved. What’s better? I didn’t have to go back to the store and act like a fool. I will save you a trip back to the store, if your Libra self will just read the instructions, all of them. Not a quick glance, but really read what the little recipe, menu, sheet, booklet, whatever it is, read all of them before you call.


scoScorpio: "I’m not good at empathy, perhaps a little sarcasm will do?" It was an idea for a T-Shirt. I’m not going to be able to get that shirt into production by Xmas. And with no marketing, it’ll never sell. But it was a good idea, and any Scorpio friend of mine is welcome to use that T-shirt slogan, make a T-shirt and get rich from my efforts.

And to think, there are some Scorpio folks who insist that there is no "Scorpio love" here. Perish the thought.

There’s an added edge to that slogan, too. As I was watching the planets move around, I realized that Venus is crawling at a good pace, right on into Scorpio this week. That’s why the Scorpio-inspired T-shirt is such a good phrase. Coin it, quote it, use it, make it your own for all I care. It fits. Fits well.

You can be empathetic, at times. But this isn’t one of those empathy times. But sarcasm? That goes a long way in helping your Scorpio brain deal with what’s out there this time. Get that slogan on a shirt for yourself. Thank me with a portion of the sales to other, like-minded Scorpio people.

About the author: Born and raised in a small town in East Texas, Kramer Wetzel spent years honing his craft in trailer park in South Austin. He hates writing about himself in third person. More at KramerWetzel.com.

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© 1993 – 2021 Kramer Wetzel, for astrofish.net &c.

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