For the Week starting: 12.27.2007

"This night he makes a supper and a great one."
Shakespeare’s Henry VIII [I.iii.69]

    The Year Ahead: Mars starts the year in apparent retrograde motion, and Mars doesn’t intend to right himself until January 30. However, Jan. 28? Mercury goes in apparent retrograde motion in Aquarius — until Feb. 18. Mercury is backwards again in Gemini, May 26 to Jun. 19. And again, September 24 to October 15, in Libra. Jupiter is backwards in Capricorn from May 9 to Sept. 7. Saturn that old joker, is RX from December ’07 to May ’08, in Virgo.

    The bigger news is Pluto, as Pluto moves from the (tropical zodiac) sign of Sagittarius into Capricorn, at the end of January, then again, out in June, and back in late November — for the duration. Capricorn is all about structure, and Pluto (planet, dwarf planet, asteroid, whatever nomenclature) is all about radical change. With Pluto, I tend to think about a certain Indian goddess, which is odd, because this is strictly Western Astrology, in terms, but this one Indian Goddess, she’s known as the the Destroyer and Creator. Notice the order, destroys, then creates. Not always a pretty sight. While this is like the energy ascribed to Saturn, I tend to think of Pluto more in terms of Mars. Mars is active energy, and the easiest way to deal Mars-type of energy is to be active. Pluto is going to add a layer of activity to that.

    The point where all this starts, that beginning degree of Capricorn? And by extension, the beginning degree of Cancer (and Libra as well as Aries), those early points get tickled. For good or for ill? How about for a change? It’s all about digging up what we used to believe in, rolling it over and giving it consideration a second time around. Existing structures might be solid enough to not need change. Or those same structures could be torn down in order to make way for something new, and ultimately better. 2007 was spent in throws of wrapping up material that had been left unattended too long. Out with the old and in with the new. Happy New Year.

It is long-supposed that Shakespeare had the help of author and dramatist, John Fletcher, in the writing of Henry VIII.


capCapricorn: Take a deep breath. New year is here, or just about here, or will be here any minute now. No reason to panic. In fact, with Mars moving back into Gemini, you’ve got a little break. Not a big break, but remember to breath some. It’s a beneficial time for your Capricorn self. You get a little break. Maybe not a huge break, but any kind of a chance is a good chance. I’ve got a cheap pair of earrings, when I say, these babies cost me a dollar? I mean, they cost a dollar. I’m sure they were assembled by some poor child, working sixteen hours a day, slave-labor child camp. Or something equally horrific.

But the selling point, the price point? One dollar. And since I only wear one at a time, I get a lot of mileage out these Xmas earrings. They bring joy. And when I lose one? Or one gets loose? Not a problem. It’s not like one of my fancy Fishing Lure earrings, those I would miss. But one of these cheap baubles? Not a problem. Look: Xmas is over, but the idea of a cheap bauble that entertains for hours and hours, days on end, even? That’s the kind of break you’re going to catch. Look, whatever works? It works. Besides, that Mars movement really does help ease the Capricorn burden.


aquAquarius: I imagine that this is one of those years, or so it’s going to feel like, you know, when you broke up with you old band. And as soon as you break up, the band gets a contract for another CD.

While it’s not the first, it would be a first studio CD done with the backing of a major label, who, incidentally, will be throwing a lot of money at the project.

Now, how do you want to go about this? You’ve got a couple of months of this, the first two, of this next year, to figure this stuff out. What would like to say to the band, now that you guys all have to work together again. It’s for the money, right?


pisPisces: February Pisces are going to spend the first half of this year dealing with Saturn opposite their Sun. The rest of the Pisces — good Pisces — should turn and look at their brethren (and sisteren) and take heed. Watch what thematic elements emerge.

It’s time to figure out what the issues will be. You’re not there yet, but this will happen over the next couple of months.

You can get a jump start on this little patch of problems by taking a good look at what is happening with those brothers and sisters in arms. Or fins. What would you call fellow Pisces?


ariAries: I’ve been gently nudging my little Aries friends to pay attention to the "Mars is backwards" noise. And the beginning of the year, the whole New Year thing is all about a small amount of relief from this Martian conflict, as Mars switches from Cancer, and keeps his backwards slide going, on into Gemini. But therein is the small relief.

While I’ve guided you by suggesting quiet, now is the time to start planning the speech. Acceptance speech? "I’d like to thank the academy…." And more, much more? I’m sure it could happen. So let’s get to work planning that acceptance speech.

You’re going to get a chance to practice it pretty soon. Well, not yet, but close, anyway. However, pay attention as Mars is still backwards and as such, well, it’s lot like the last fishing adventure I had. Some days? The fish win. Way it goes. Have to let them have a day, every once in a while.


tauTaurus: Basically, the first two months of this year are all about cosmic jokes and a review period. Two months out of twelve? Less than 20%; however, it’s still a time with a few problems. And solutions, if you’re willing to pay attention to the advice. Or pay for the advice. The point is all about cosmic jokes and patient review. Or it might be patient jokes and cosmic review. I can get these items mixed up.

I’m pretty sure, given that you’re (one) a Taurus and (two) Mars backs into your solar second house, which is (three) your natural house, we’ve got a (four) confusing situations and cosmic humor, foisted by some person (or deity) with a sick sense of humor.

The advice for dealing with it is to realize, while everyone is launching, or trying to launch new stuff at the beginning of the year, you’re "year" doesn’t start until, about April. Next spring. Doesn’t mean you can have a whole lot of fun this weekend, or next, but for the next months? Time to look a what items, situation , and dreams you want to put into place. Put into place in a about two months. Be much easier.


gemGemini: This year is not going to start out the way you want it to. And I can’t make it any better, not for a while. Check out the way the planets are lining up, or, for that matter, it’s less like a line-up and more like a long line of dominoes, all falling over. There’s a bit of comedy here, as Mars slips backwards into your sign, heralding a reminder of woe, and perhaps, there’s a chance to right a previous wrong.

Then, just about the time Mars gets oriented, Mercury goes backwards. I know of exactly one Gemini who will be unaffected by this next four or five weeks, but then, the rest of you? It will hit and hit hard. The point of the planets’ points is where the message is. Instead of sailing into the new year full of changes you want to make, instead of saying to yourself, "Selves, we’re going to do this, this, and this…." Instead of that? Consider this is a time for reflection. Plot a course, but maybe don’t embark just yet. Assess the goals, destinations, and consider altering that course as more becomes clear, next month.


canCancer: A buddy of mine was down at the coast with me. He observed that I had more than healthy fear of the spikes along the back of the "bait-stealer" Hard-Heads. It’s a kind of saltwater catfish, usually called a tourist trout. I’ve seen grown men wounded by the poisonous spike on the dorsal fin, so I do have an unnatural fear.

My buddy bought me a fishing glove, last year, for my birthday. Kevlar-reinforced carbon-fiber threads with stainless-steel inserts. Not a chance of injury, I’m sure. The way this year starts out? I’d suggest you just carry your Cancer self right on down the sporting goods store, and help yourself to just such an item, maybe a pair of these gloves. Light enough so you have tactile feedback, but also strong enough to protect from any creature’s claw, spike, fin, or tooth.

The year starts out with something just like a spine from one of those catfish. It’s not really deadly, just irritating. Won’t kill, but will be supremely uncomfortable for a couple of days. Now, with the right glove? You don’t have anything to worry about. But you have to have the right protective wear. Which is what I’m suggesting. If you have to handle anything that looks dangerous? Pull on the Kevlar-stainless carbon-steel reinforced-insert protection, first.


leoLeo: One of my clients was over, and she had, in tow, her latest boyfriend. Boyfriend-of-the-month club, I think that’s where she gets them. He was considerably younger than her, or me, for that matter. Nice enough guy, though. They shared eccentricities. He had seen my site before and he was worried that some kind of classic rock would be playing. Or worse, country and western, of a certain vintage.

While the couple were here, it was only a recent release from a more modern artist, I’m not sure what it’s called, maybe "alternative," although, that sounds a little too much like pop these days. Besides, it was just background noise for me, but it left a very favorable impression on the young man.

Not long after they left, I clicked the remote on the stereo — iPod really — and the next playlist came up: classic rock. Of a certain vintage. Scary, just what the kid was afraid he’d find me listening to. But for the time, at the moment, I looked good. You’ve got a similar situation, starts this new year. You get a chance, probably by accident, not really intention, to look good. Just go with it. Don’t let them find out what that next track is.


virVirgo: Saturn’s a tough little taskmaster. I’m stuck with trying to figure out how to explain that Saturn is going to extract a kind of cosmic justice, in a slow, and probably painful manner. It’s like that slow motion, stop-action film you see in your head. The kind of film clip that plays just as you’re about to do something that you know you will regret.

Like the time I dove into the creek, hot summer afternoon, and just as I surfaced, I felt a familiar bulge on my hip, still attached to the shorts I was wearing: a phone. I think the stupid digital phones ought to be a little more water-resistant. But the moment, that time when everything went into freeze-frame action? That moment as I arched through the air, twisting in the summer afternoon’s air? That long second realizing there was still a phone attached. Saturn is going to give you a moment, just like mine. That long, drawn-out, seems-to-last-forever freeze-frame.

Now, I can’t make it go any easier, but you can check, before you leap. Saturn — and me — are here to remind you to check before you jump.


libLibra: I was in a tall, glass building, downtown. Meeting a client, or something like that. I’m not telling. But there was a parking garage next to the building, and as I was looking out the window, two morning doves alighted, on the edge of the garage’s uppermost parapet.

A little, crenellated fencing, I suppose, that top floor. The two morning doves were a pair. Like Libra, those two were little love birds. And it was symbolic, having to do with this coming year in Libra. The next month or so? That’s still got some problems, related to, and inclusive of, the whole Mars issue.

But Mars? That clears up, and looking out over that parking structure of life, from the office building of life, there is hope yet for Libra. Hope and promise, like those two love birds.


scoScorpio: As I was twiddling your chart, the Scorpio chart, for the coming year, I was working my way through the current state of affairs. I was also thinking about how a good Scorpio, a good Scorpio will read Fishing Guide to the Stars, and a good Scorpio will also have a decent amount of focus. Usually. Patient attention to getting whatever it is that demands the Scorpio attention? That’s what will get done. Usually.

There’s a kind of tenacity that I admire in a Scorpio, too. That stubbornness is a good quality, usually. But the usual Scorpio adhesive quality isn’t working, not this week, not this month, really, and probably not until Mercury rights itself, a month or more hence. So you’re going to be scattered and flighty. This isn’t a problem, not as long as you understand, and dare I suggest it? Embrace this new-found Scorpio flakiness.

It’s less about getting something done, like that "new year list" of objectives that you absolutely must accomplish right now, and it’s more about thinking about trying something new and different. Or, at the very least, in a new combination that you haven’t tried before. And if it doesn’t work just perfect? You’ve got a perfect excuse not to hang on it the "close but not quite" efforts.


sagSagittarius: I had a regrettable experience the other afternoon. Not so much regrettable, but it was a unfortunate, and does indicate a lot about what this year is like, and the way this week starts, stops and finishes.

See, I was stopping to get a single (double shot of afternoon espresso). The guy behind the counter, he knows me. He did two, double shots of espresso. That’s four. Not one to look a gift cup of Xmas cheer in the face, I downed the viscous brew. This was just the other week, before Xmas. About halfway home, I was tromping along, and I might’ve been muttering to myself, I’m not sure, I was quite wired. Very. Excessively. I got home, didn’t bother taking off the boots, and started to tear into a sticky software problem, a quick net search for an answer, and then I was tweaking buttons.

Not to mention that buttons were already tweaked. About half an hour later, I yawned, felt sleepy, lay down for a quick power nap and missed an appointment because I overslept. I overslept because I burned too much energy while I was overcompensated, and this just starts a long cycle. But my errors? As Mars moves into Gemini, Mars in backward motion? Maybe cut back on the stimulants. No reason to burn out too quickly. It really might be better to fade away?


About the author: Born and raised in a small town in East Texas, Kramer Wetzel spent years honing his craft in a trailer park in South Austin. He hates writing about himself in third person. More at

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