"I wonder that thou, being, as thou sayest thou art, born under
Saturn, goest about to apply a moral medicine to a mortifying mischief."
— Don John in Shakespeare’s "Much Ado About Nothing" [I.iii.7-8]
Aquarius: "See, he always buys two tickets," a friend was explaining, about another mutual acquaintance, "and no date. Ever. Be kind of sad, but it means I get to go…." Kind of sad, but yeah, free tickets to concerts, movie previews and other social activities? Just have to be the date for the dateless wonder?
Yeah, that works well. And it’s not like the dateless wonder is unattractive, or inept, although, in certain social situations, I’d have to wonder. 6 PM on New Year’s Eve is the wrong time to be looking for a date.
I was thinking about that because that was the date we were talking about, relative to that one guy. Now, think about it, are you the dateless wonder, or are you the beneficiary of the dateless wonder’s ineptitude? Are you the one who waits too long to see about a remedy to a situation? Or are you the one who benefits from some one else’s lack of forethought and planning?
Pisces: "Sleep is a poor substitute for coffee," suggested a tag line. And I’ll agree. The right chemical combination of elements might just help ease our Pisces burden in the next couple of days. I’m not saying that escape action, like drinking too much liquor is called for. What I’m suggesting is a little attention to detail and little more attention to the bigger issues. And then, to facilitate that "looking at the bigger picture," I’d like to suggest more coffee.
Can be for real. Can be any number of chemical — or natural — enhancements. But something, just a little stimulation, will go a long way to improving the outlook that you have. There’s a rather large shift occurring, and while I’d like to tie to Mars, it’s more than that. But Mars, and the Mars-flavor, is what this shift is all about. But not really Mars, either. Just that Mars-flavor.
I used to buy "fake bacon pieces," which, in all honesty, tasted better than real bacon pieces. The advantage was that the fake bits were made from high-protein soy whereas the real thing? Just pig parts. The message was clear, though, the artificial bacon flavor was better than the real bacon flavor. I’m not an aesthete, so I might be wrong about the flavor, but for my unrefined senses? It worked.
So this Mars-flavor? It might be stronger than the actual Mars. And it does have that Mars-kick. I’m not saying that you’re sleepless in San Antonio, or Seattle, or even Austin, but that Mars (thing) is kicking you around. It means change, and better get ready — get our collective Pisces selves ready.
Aries: It doesn’t get much better, much worse, anyway, than this. This is the low point, the new year arrived, and the best wishes have all but fallen by the wayside. "I was going to diet better this year," I heard one client say, as she stuffed tortilla chips in her face, almost handful at a time, "no, really, this was going to be the year."
She reached for a double margarita, basically a single with a floater-layer of tequila, "and slow down on my drinking," she added. I could image her reaching for a cigarette, too, but that didn’t happen. Except in my mind. Three for three, be my guess.
Is this a total loss? Hardly, it’s just matter of realizing that the smoking, drinking, and eating? All three of those things at once? Not going to happen. Have to take it a little slower. Gradual like. Not all at once, and certainly not cold turkey; however, if you did go and quite everything? And you’ve been successful? Made it this far? It gets easier? And if you’re zero for three? Consider it time to start with moderation.
Taurus: I’ve got a client who’s an insurance adjuster. Claims negotiator. She ran into a case that was, to me, funny. The legal representative, the legal counsel, the witness and the family to the injured person? All the same person. Sort of like having a sister or a brother who saw it and happens to be a lawyer. Good call for the victim. Bad news for the insurance company. "When I ran it all down, I just put the phone down and said, ‘oh man,’ because, what can I do?"
I’d guess the maximum amount is what’s expected. What’s fair, right? It’s just that a situation like that, like my friend was facing, there’s no way to win. Or no way to get out of the deal without it costing the full amount. No room to negotiate, no wiggle space. Not much of a chance.
I’m sure, as a Taurus, you’re feeling this, too. No wiggle room. Therein is the problem. There are some times, an event occurs, and we all just have to face up to the inevitable consequences. Just the way it is, and the way it goes.
Gemini: I answered a call on my cell, and before I could say a word, "Dude, dude, you’ve got to help, like, it’s, I’m in your end of town, where’s a florist that’s open? I need roses – fast." I mentioned a location, there is a floral shop there, and that’s the last I heard.
Emergency roses. Save those emergency roses for the most serious and heinous of transgressions. Or perceptions of transgressions. I never did find out what happened. The floral shop wasn’t open at that hour, it was after conventional work time, and the only story I ever heard was the usual, "Oh. Never mind, I mean, I’ll tell you later."
Only I never heard back. But then, some days, the absence of facts is more entertaining than the truth. "Quick, where can I get roses?" Isn’t that the kind of question that just begs a story? I’m leaving that one open, too. You can fill in as many details as you want, love gone awry, missed connection, the plane was late, there was a traffic problem, or the worst, "I forgot." That last one, it’s a killer.
I can also prevent you from having to look for last minute roses, too, if you’re a little more careful. Mars is slowing to a stop in the last few degrees of Gemini. You’re going to find that good intentions, especially of the romantic kind, all get thwarted. Buy roses ahead of time. Buy before you need to.
Cancer: I went fishing with one of my buddies the other afternoon. He was looking at the new fishing pole I had. It’s a fairly expensive model pole, all high-tech and stuff. "What happened to the other pole you were using?" He asked. I had a terse answer, "Couldn’t swim."
My fishing buddy, he’s reasonably alert, and the giveaway of my curt answer was a heads up to not ask. At least, not right away. Some questions are best left unasked. Way it goes. But later in the day, the question was burning a hole in his mind, and he steered the conversation around to fishing gear then fishing reels and finally to that new pole.
At Xmas time, my sister gave me a gift certificate to the big fishing store, and that’s how I got the new pole. Subsidized by a sibling. However, there was some truth in the demise of the older piece of equipment, it did go for a swim and it didn’t resurface. I’m sure I’ve told that sorry tale over and over. The way the week is? With all that’s going on? I’d be careful about how you phrase your questions. And answers.
Leo: The biggest problem is that most of the rent cars are all front-wheel drive. Usually a compact, too. Been a long time since I’ve had a mid-sized sedan that was rear-drive. Makes this a hard concept to envision, but here’s the idea, when the rear-dive vehicle, with power applied, in a curve, when the rear wheels break free, spin, there’s a situation called drift.
Tail end starts to get all loose, and it’s lot of fun. Short track, dirt track racers, they all spend most of lap with the rear tires loose like that. It’s like a controlled "out of control" situation. At least one American racer did very well overseas because he was used to the spin and drift, and the fancy Euro-racers were used to being glued to the road.
It’s about a difference in style, and perhaps, I’d like to think, about the way the American style is a little loose, a little unglued. Some would suggest unhinged, but that’s another door we won’t open now. So think about that style wherein the rear wheels lose a little traction, break free, if only for a moment, and how the controlled slide, how that’s a way to get around faster. It’s considered being more efficient by being less efficient. It’s a controlled slide, a little bit of drift. Let the back end swing out a little, just to slide on through.
Virgo: I met a pair of sisters, in little town, down south. Both girls, young girls working in a coffee shop, both of them had quotes worked into some extensive tattoos. Both had quotes from Jane Austen. That, was like, so spooky. Weird. Even to a person like myself, one who is tempered and hardened against anything weird.
Literary tattoos are not unusual. I met a guy, one time, he had a whole section of Joseph Conrad’s work, as a tat. But the two sisters, the Jane Austen quotes, intertwined and yet separate. Like sisters. Which they were. It’s time to stop and consider timeless works, like those of Joseph Conrad and Jane Austen. And it’s time to consider what you would get inked on your arm, or wrist, or across the tapestry of your back, if you’re so inclined.
Saturn is about permanent solutions. What was nice about the work the sisters had done? It all worked into the design, so the quote wasn’t exactly visible. Unless you knew where it was, and if you know what you were looking for. Tasteful. In the Virgo world, one of the sisters was a Virgo, but in the Virgo world, careful attention to aesthetics is required. And with Mars slowing but not really stopping just yet? Maybe hold off on any more tattoos, just for another week.
Libra: I listened as clearly British person tried to pronounce a local delicacy, "PRAW-lines?" Pralines to me, or pronounced, "Pray-lean." I suppose it comes from living on an island with too much Germanic influence. Or maybe it’s the Latin languages, could be that. I’m not sure of the source. But hearing a word badly mangled — in an unintentional way? Amused me.
I was not offended. I didn’t worry about it, either. They have sticky toffee, butterscotch and French Vanilla. We have the superior Mexican Vanilla and Pralines. Different but the same. More or less. And we have local produced pecans. Nuts to them. However, as Mars slows down, as Jupiter situates in Capricorn and as the Sun slides through Aquarius, there’s a sense, a place and time where you can claim that your Libra brand, your Libra version, your own version of whatever is justifiably superior. The better part is, you can say the words in the correct fashion, with the right inflections, too.
Scorpio: I use astrology for precisely timing certain events. I was watching , recently, as a well-known CEO was introducing a new line of products. Adjunct products, really, and I’ve heard rumors — unverified — that the CEO uses astrology to pick times for event launches. Makes for a more successful presentation. Makes you think differently.
I doubted that because the events are always on the same day at the same time. But I wanted to test the theory, a little further, and what I noticed was the exact phase of the moon, at the time of the event launch and how some times, it would take two hours for the moon to switch signs and by the same measure, two hours for that speaker to get around to introducing his big deal for day.
So I wondered if that CEO consulted an astrologer. Makes for an interesting game to play. To use some timing hints for Scorpio? This week? Hold off. That simple. Just hold it. Mars is making unkind energy, and supposedly, you’re associated with Mars and as such, it’s a good time to hold off. Imagine that you’re about an hour into a heavily scripted presentation. You’ve got to stall. It’s that simple, stall for a little time, right about now. Just one more thing.
Sagittarius: It’s not so much a dire notation for this week as it is about consequences. Consequences of our actions. In some cases, consequences of our inaction. I’m not saying that I’ve ever lied about anything, but there has been a time or two, when, for the sake of peace, I’ve omitted several points that might, or might not be, crucial to the narrative.
Creative editing: I try to spare an innocent person’s feelings. I try and sugar coat a situation to make the bitter pill more palatable. I have heartfelt desire to keep my own skin out of trouble, hence the omission of some details that interested parties might claim are relevant. This is the big warning.
Pluto moves from Sagittarius to Capricorn, first pass in several hundred years. Going to be felt with little reverberations throughout the known universe. With this is relief. The caution is to not let the Sagittarius guard down too soon. Or, not to commit an act that could be shown in dubious light.
Capricorn: I warned you. You didn’t listen. There’s a powerful agent of change at work in the Land of Capricorn. Entering now. Having suffered, cajoled and bludgeoned my way through this kind of an influence, all I can suggest is that it is not one with which an argument will bare fruit.
Bear fruit. One of them. Acquiesce to the planet’s power. Let the planet dictate a route. There’s going to be a change and you can either be graceful, or you can be like me, and struggle with this, every inch of the way.
I’ve been at this game long enough to recall what it was like last time. Changes like this are best if there is a minimum of struggling. The less you fight the change? The easier it gets. Reminds me a fish. It put up a good fight, but I did win. I outweighed that fish by a factor of a hundred or more. Pluto? It outweighs you by a factor of a thousand or more.
