4.3.2008

For the week starting: 4.3.2008

“So doth the greater glory dim the less;
A substitute shines brightly as a king
Until a king be by.”

Shakespeare’s The Merchant of Venice (V.i.104-6)

Aries: I was idly chatting with a buddy of mine. He’s got a, I think, a pit bull without the bobbed ears. Friendly dog, far as I can tell. Not being a dog person, I don’t really know. Nor do I want to know. However, my buddy, his name is not “bubba,” he warned me when I sat down, “Watch out for uninvited licking.” I wasn’t sure what the joke was, some sort of inside humor I wasn’t privy to. I sipped on a single shot of espresso, expertly rendered by a Pisces. (Sign that precedes mighty Aries.) Something warm and wet hit my toes, then my ankles. I glanced down. The mean-looking dog was affectionately licking my feet. My buddy looked over, “I warned you.” I wondered if the dog was sizing me up for a meal, or seeing if I tasted good enough to eat. I don’t. I’m tough and stringy, not really a good meal, although, I might make a good chew toy. But that’s not the point. It was the warning, fair warning, and then what ensued. I was warned, like a shot across the bow of ship, that there was a dog-tongue looking for spot to share dog saliva. Birthday’s are a good time, but I’m warning you, too, that there’s a tendency to misunderstand the intent, intention and direction that some stray comment from a stray stranger. “Uninvited licking”could mean a lot of things. In this case, though, and coming up in the next week, in Aries, take the words of caution with a strict, literal sense. Don’t over-think or over-analyze.

Taurus: Some days, I just hate working with this astrology stuff. It’s all about “due diligence,” and then waiting for the rewards. The problem being, as far as I can see, the rewards are further away than I care to figure. For Taurus. So, it’s all about long-term goals and even longer-term planning. Not that I’ll be much help with that. Remove yourself from the moment. Remove yourself from the place where you are, at least, mentally. This is easy for me to do, I’ll be on the north shore of a local lake, standing there, tending to lines that I have in the water. I will be casting into a strong breeze from the south, and then, once the lines are set, I have some time to just wait. Watch and wait. I doubt you’re going to be fishing in the same place I’m fishing. I doubt we’re going after the exact same prey. But I don’t doubt that you’re going to be like me, surveying a few lines in the water, keeping a wary eye for the telltale tip of a pole, and otherwise, just watching. That’s what I mean by remove yourself from the moment. With those poles, nothing will happen for hours. Just watch, wait. But ones the lines are set, you know, it’s only a matter of time. Set your fishing lines, get them baited and out there. Then pay attention.

Gemini: “Good is an adjective, well is an adverb,” the guy in the store was saying. He looked at me, my scruffy best. I didn’t fit. Cowboy store (Western outfitter store, boots, yoke shirts, hats, the whole shootin’ match.) I was in shorts, sandals and loud shirt. The grammar cop was trying to impress upon his staff the importance of differentiating between “well” and “good.” That’s all well and good, I think. Good is an adjective, although, it could be an adverbial form, goodly. Good describes a person, place or thing. Well, the adverb, it describes how something is done. Correctly speaking, “It was a good job,” but “you did the job well.” This really has very little to do with grammar, per se, it has a lot more to do with running into what you run into, where you least expect it. “Riddle me this,” the guy said, looking me up and down, “what’s a comma splice?” Easy, when two independent clauses are joined with only a comma. I know that one well. I had a war of words about that with an editor. She wanted the comma splice. I wanted a semi-colon. Editor, grammatically wrong, won. Think about hat, my fine little Gemini friend. Who has the last say, right or wrong?

Cancer: I can’t even suppose that you’ve ever watched yankees (defined as from north of Texas, or even in some cases, from North Texas) sample traditional Mexican cuisine. The smallest of the green peppers are hot. Some of the food has enough pepper in it to sear and blister lips. “That which burns the lips frees the mind,” is our motto. Then there’s the salt on the rim of the margarita glass, and nothing’s quite as amusing as watching tourist try to work around that. It’s not such an odd combination, not to me. But this is my world and the tourist are like, in third-world country. A place where customs and manners are different. Frequently, too, the language is different. Mars is both an energizer and an irritant. Which is it going to be? Believe it or not, you have the power to control your Martian urges. I would go ahead look like tourist with the hot peppers. Better to try a big gulp of hot sauce and then drain a glass or water — we expect that from you. Better to go ahead and confront the issue rather than shying away from it. Mars pushes it all to the front, realize you might feel a little awkward — that doesn’t mean you can’t enjoy yourself with a little excess. Try the margaritas, too, just not with a Virgo.

Leo: Ask for references. I’ve been Leo-friendly and Leo-centric for over a decade now. Not that it’s bad, either, just the way it is. I’ve been doling out advice — based on astrology — for that length of time. Doesn’t stop, just keeps on coming. I try not to repeat myself with same sage morsel, but even that gets to be a difficult task. I was in a typical BBQ joint, probably gnawing on a bone, and my casual glance picked up a a sign tacked over a doorway. I was thinking about that sign, its message, and the way things look, at this very minute, in Leo. For Leo. For The Leo. How it is. How it will be. And what can I suggest that will make your life easier, better, and provide a way around this week’s troubler spot? All I could think of was what is said in that BBQ place, that sign. Not the sign, because The Sign is Leo (I know, enough with the pandering). It’s a simple message, so imagine, if you will, there I was, pork rib in hand, looking at the sign over the doorway. It’s supposed to look like an antique sign, but the source of the quote can actually be traced back to a Scorpio from Oklahoma. Not that it matters. It’s old farmer’s advice: Life is easier when you plow around the stump. I’m not saying you’re stumped. But think about going around the problem instead of stubbornly trying to go through the problem.

Virgo: Saturn’s going top be a while, but it’s hitting a lot of folks with some serious wake-up calls. It’s all about timing. Luck and good fortune are nice, but let’s be really honest, Virgo-honest kind of honesty. Down in your core, you know, luck and the whims of fate are really just pieces of fiction. Bad things generally happen to good people. Way it is. And you’re on the downside of the wheel of fortune, as the wheel dips lower and lower, and as Saturn comes closer and closer, and as such, you’re just not sure you believe in good luck and good fortune. None of that matters much. The way this is going to work, it’s lot like a mythical rain dance. I’m not sure that there ever was a belief system that really had a rain dance, but let’s say there was. The outcome of that rain dance, doesn’t matter how much one implores the great spirit to send water down from the heavens, if there isn’t a meteorological set of conditions, I doubt the odd pagan gods will appease. Timing has a lot to do with the outcome of a rain dance. It’s about timing what you desire, and making that work for you. For the time being, though, looks like a long, hot and dry summer.

Libra: “Wow, I never thought of looking at it that way.” Practice that expression, Practice saying it with an open mind. Embrace that idea, for that matter. You’re on the receiving end of a special kind of time, a chance to learn something new. A new way to see an old situation. Old material, greatly changed, but the same lesson, over again. Only it’s not the same lesson, it’s different. Perspective, a unique perspective, that’s what’s required. And an open mind. I know, I know, there will be more than Libra who will complain, make exhortations, and loudly declaim I’ve got it all wrong. That’s okay, too. I’ll take the abuse for this next couple of days. But then, when the shouting is over, when the verbal repartee is done with, I also expect an apology. It’s matter of taking a new look at an old problem. Or an old look at a new problem. Or, it’s a matter of realizing, even though I think the world of you, that maybe you don’t know all the answers and you can be willing to learn from someone new. “Wow, I never thought of it that way.” See what I mean?

Scorpio: I was alongside a clear-running creek, sort an urban anomaly, and I noticed a snake in the water. He was making good time, Mr. Water Snake, swimming downstream. One, I was high on the bank, away from the snake, and two, most of the snakes like that one are really quite harmless. I could get into describing the markings, paying special attention to the shape of the snake’s head, and I could explain how this was a harmless constrictor, not more than a two feet long. However, in these part, snakes get a bad rap. If I started to describe that critter as a water snake, the first reaction is “Water Moccasin!” And from that point on, it’s varying degrees of self defense, up to and not limited to heavy artillery. Pretty good for a harmless little critter I was watching as he was just swimming along. Not so much of a big deal, not to me. I thought about Scorpio, too, because I was trying to find a way to express the energy you guys have. I’m the only one who saw that snake; I’m the only one who understands Scorpio. It’s a powerful image, strong creature, a survivor, and so is Scorpio. Able to strike fear in many people. So is Scorpio. Harmless. Well, I’m not sure that Scorpio is harmless, but like that lone water snake, between the two of us, I’ll keep it a secret. Alone, you’re fine. Matter of speaking, really, kind of a good place to be.
Sagittarius: Want to see some one jump into action? I was on a shuttle flight, and just after a bumpy take-off, I had an idea, and I reached for the air-sick bag. Those things are great for taking notes on. There wasn’t one in front of me, so I asked the folks next to me for theirs. Moved fast. Worked well. “Look, if you’re going to be sick? I don’t think you should sit here.” I whipped out a pen and started to make notes. All I wanted it for, all good. Sagittarius can improvise rather well. It’s matter of being in the right place at the correct time, and asking the right question. Questions. As Mars moves along in Cancer, there’s going to be a similar situation and what might seem to be an awkward question. For a Sagittarius? Not really. Ask away.

Capricorn: The wisdom of bumper stickers — to wit: “If you are close enough to read this — I can slam on my brakes and sue you.” It was on the back bumper of large pick-up truck. I grabbed a camera snagged a quick shot so I wouldn’t forget the image. The image is gone, now, but the sentiment applies in Capricorn. Especially in Cap. Mars is opposite you. You are close enough to reach out and kiss that bumper in front of you. You are close enough to get in trouble. “But I thought Jupiter, was, like, good. Or something.” I’d go with the “or something” in this case. Mars makes haste. Mars gives you a little edge. And Jupiter can make you feel like you’re invincible. Hence the problem. Mars and cars, or, in tis case the wisdom of the bumper sticker. Think about this, as you go careening through your Capricorn daily routine. Be careful that you’re not following too closely, crowding, tailgating, or otherwise putting a little too much stress on a situation. Some days, you know, that little note in the bumper in front of me, that was a good reminder. Real or, perhaps in a metaphorical way. Don’t be following too closely.

Aquarius: I was standing at the edge of lake, and I had a fairly new fishing pole. It was only a few weeks old. I had some strong, new fishing line on it, a heavy weight, and I had an even heavier lead weight on the end, along with some striper bait. I did an appropriate wind-up to sail that bait out about halfway to the middle of the lake, and then, just as I let loose, the pole shattered in my hand. Loud noise. Broken pieces of pole. Behind me, there was a partially hidden steel cable, and my hook was embedded in that cable. The wind-up was only about a third of the way through the delivery, but the end of the pole, all 8 (plus) feet, had developed quite the momentum. If the end of the pole had snapped. Or if the pole was just broken in two pieces, I would’ve carried it back to the story and got a replacement pole. Regrettably, as I looked at the shattered pieces — plural — I realized that there was no way I could lie and suggest this was manufacturing problem. Or a pole problem. Or a problem with anything other than operator negligence. Pony up when the time comes. For me, that pole cost less than $30. Not the cheapest fishing pole I’ve got, but not an expensive one, which, if had been, I might have reacted differently. Although, think about it, the pole was shattered from my delivery, or attempted delivery, and that damage would be obvious to most real fisher-people. All I’m suggesting, and I don’t think this will much more than a $20 mistake, but it’s easier to just pony up, admit fault, and don’t worry about.

Pisces: Did you know that air-sick bags have a patent notice on them? Have we gone so far that every little item has to be protected by a patent? Is this a life spiraling out of control?