For the week starting: 5.29.2008

"Sweet flowers are slow and weeds make haste."
Shakespeare’s The Tragedy of King Richard the Third [II.iv.17]

Upcoming events, check the schedule. Mercury is retrograde.

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gem Gemini: We passed a church, west of here, just a little ways west. The marquee read, "Jesus es el camino." And this whole time, I always thought Jesus was a Ford guy, a Ranchero, maybe an older model, but still. Which launched into an interesting discussion based upon car styles from a previous era. Truck style, and car styles, and proto-SUV types of things.

Still didn’t answer the question about what Jesus would drive, and I tend to think the old boy would probably drive one of those Toyota’s that are made in Texas. Just south of San Antonio, really. But what do I know? Besides, if you look at the sign and the question, and the real message, you’d realize that Mercury is retrograde and none of that has anything to do with with the idea, the concept that Mercury is backwards in your sign, the Sun is lining up with Mercury before too long, and the Moon mixes it up, too.

This is the Mother of Mercury Retrogrades. You can let yourself get derailed worrying about what kind of car is in the message, or you can cause that worry in other people. I tend to think along the lines of the older Ford model.


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can Cancer: Front of the boat, back of the boat, there are — basically — only two seats in a bass boat. And it’s all fun and games until someone starts catching fish. Front or back, doesn’t much matter. It’s all bad jokes and giggles until one of the guys in one of the seats starts to catch fish. Like three or four.

Then the air turns serious. This could also be trouble. Suddenly, a good day on the water gets ugly. It can happen, as the competition heats up. Likewise, the spring-like weather has turned towards a full-summer roast. So in a similar manner, the Cancer life is heating up. I was thinking about those two guys in the boat, not that this ever happened to me, but once one them starts getting into some some serious fish, it can turn ugly.

Depends on how this is approached, with what attitude. Look: sign right in front of you? Gemini. In that sign, there will be the Sun, Venus, and Mercury (Retrograde). Stop. Consider this planetary motion, the significance. Are you going to let the life in the good ship Cancer turn ugly because someone else, the other seat, seems to be catching all the fish? Do what you can to help. You’ll find it goes a lot easier that way.

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leo Leo: It’s late May. I noticed a "hot summer in the city" aroma, when I was out for an afternoon stroll. Really, I went to the post office and the bank, and a coffee shop, not in that order. Just normal business. Someplace along the way, I caught a scent, an aroma, a smell that evoked some long-forgotten memory. I couldn’t place the memory, but I could pinpoint the smell: wet concrete.

Not wet concrete as in freshly poured concrete, nor, for that matter, new concrete, but the old stuff. Like a sidewalk or curb, been there a while, the corner I’m thinking of has a 1972 or maybe a 1927 date inscribed in it. The water is from a garden hose, or a spigot, or maybe a puddle from summer showers, which we could all use.

A moment or two before I detected the smell, a car drove through the puddle and splashed some of the water onto the concrete curb. It’s an aromatic trigger, the smallest of things, that indicates summer is here. And Mercury is backwards, too. Plus Mars, he’s frying along just fine in Leo. There’s a hint of the summer, full of promise and fun in the sun, coming up. You’re ready to go now. Just be careful.

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vir Virgo: I was thinking about Saturn, picking up speed, and Saturn’s steamroller effect. Only, I don’t even know if there are steam rollers anymore. I suspect most of the earth-moving and flattening equipment like that, I’m guessing that those machines are all driven by diesel fuel, so the nomenclature "steamroller" is misleading. Not factual. With zero research on my part, I’m making a reasonable jump in an intuitive way, about the nature of the language.

I’d guess the big road-flattening machines were, at one time steam powered, but I’m also guessing that they aren’t, and haven’t been, for a good half-century — or more. That doesn’t stop Saturn from gaining a little leverage on your Virgo self, and for that matter, this whole Mercury/Sun/Venus (all in Gemini) from gaining a degree of momentum and rolling right over your Virgo self.

These planets are merely clearing away some material that needs to be moved. Flattened, paved over, or just buried, once for all. The obstacle is that your Virgo self might try and interfere with this process. Just let is roll right over you. Much easier that way. Besides, as that big machine starts rolling towards you — this week — getting in its way will certainly cause harm to yourself.

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lib Libra: I was sitting along the shoreline, on a dock really, as the shrimp boats were pulling in one morning. I watched as one great white heron swooped in and landed on the top of the wheelhouse of the shrimp boat. I’m guessing, that the heron knew the captain, and I’m also guessing that there was a relationship of sorts therein. The way the heron made itself at home on the wheelhouse, and the way the gulls trailed along behind the ship, that in and of itself would suggest a degree of familiarity.

I’ve seen this before, with a great blue heron and shrimper, the two got along. Me? In Austin, I’ve fed the Great Blue Herons with my meager catch. But I doubt that those birds go out of their way to seek me out. Unlike that Great White, which did seem to select a certain boat, and I’m sure the bird was fed.

I don’t know if that’s good or not, but someplace, I suppose there’s a kind of balance although it doesn’t go with traditional terms where the long-legged herons prey on small fish in shallow waters. It’s nice to have someone to look out for you. As this Mercury pattern establishes itself, figure out where that shrimp boat is. A free ride and food?

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scoScorpio: Communication is sometimes about communicating with other people. So mostly, that’s what this about. Maybe not so much at this moment, but usually, that’s what communicating, from a wise Scorpio to the rest of us, that’s the usual train of thought, the established pattern. Herein, too, is the problem. It would seem, in a Scorpio-centric world, that no one is getting it. So that’s part of what this is all about. Understand that we don’t understand you. Way it goes.

Try explaining it differently? How about louder? Neither works, not really.

But all is not lost. Just because Mercury (and et cetera) is backwards (and et cetera), that doesn’t mean all communication is in the toilet. There’s a point, where you’re trying to illustrate an idea, and the intended audience just doesn’t get it. However, this is where we’re very similar, Scorpio and me, and we both like the way the point is made. That no one gets it? That’s not the problem. The solution is to watch, read, understand what you’re writing down. Like a professional wrestler, trying to pin an opponent, as your Scorpio self wrestles the words down to pin them in a hold, you’ll find that an idea becomes clear. While that won’t win an argument, or advance your cause any, it does make one issue clear to yourself. So what if the rest of us just don’t get it? We can amend that statement, too, "So what if the rest of us just don’t get it yet?"

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sag Sagittarius: I don’t know if Venus opposite Sagittarius will mitigate the effects of Mercury in (apparent) retrograde motion opposite Sagittarius. It very well could sort of overrule the problems. But I doubt it. Mercury in backwards motion with its concomitant problems is on the opposite side of where our fine Sagittarius selves are. Therein is the problem and therein is the solution, too.

Admitting that there is a problem is the first step towards a solution. I think that’s how it goes, I’m not sure.

Look: I can’t make Mercury any less retrograde than it already is. This affects me, too, so don’t complain. It’s all about what we can do to make sure that some of the interactions we have to have, on a daily basis, we can insure that those are smooth as possible. "That’s a cute outfit." And, "No, I don’t think I’ve seen that shirt before." I like the message on your T-shirt. These are just a couple of stock phrases that will help in the next week. Realize that the new moon hits, and until the Moon is firmly in Cancer, there’s going to be the usually unusual Mercury difficulties. Duck and weave a little, it’ll help some.

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cap Capricorn: I have a favorite Catfish fishing pole. I rarely use the pole for catfish fishing, though. It is a good pole — a strong pole, it’s an excellent surf fishing pole. Which doesn’t always make sense to me, but I’m no longer going to worry about the details. I have a regular surf pole, too, but this one catfish pole seems to work the best. Backbone and strength to fling heavy surf weights way out there, yet sensitive enough that I can pick up smaller nibbles, too.

Good equipment.

I don’t recall why I bought it, not originally, but I doubt it’s ever really been used for its intended, stated purpose. Which is sort of what this is about, too. I discovered that a number of fishing guides recommend this very brand and name of pole as a surf rod. Seems it’s pretty popular as a misapplication of a piece of equipment. As a manufacturer, I’d wonder why they didn’t switch the label to reach a broader a spectrum of buyers. But I’m not a marketing guru, just do horoscopes. Which is what this about. While it’s not intended as a surf rod, it works admirably as such. So watch what the label says, and then, decide for yourself. Labels can be misleading, especially with Mercury where he is in your chart.

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aqu Aquarius: I was reading a buddy’s web log. His note a couple of weeks ago was something along the lines how he wanted to take the girlfriend up in the mountains to a B&B, someplace remote, turn off the cell phones, and just snuggle while listening to some music. He then listed several heavy thrash musical groups. I giggled at that. Out loud, even. It’s what I would expect from a just such an Aquarius. Music to snuggle by, in the Aquarius mind, that might not be like anything else. Or what other people with different signs, what they might find as snuggle music, might not be the same.

Loud guitars, clashing drum beats, maybe super-heavy bass line, no, not exactly what I would look for as a relaxing evening with a girlfriend. But I’m not an Aquarius, and I don’t always understand. Which might be the point. Or, the point might be something else, too. Perhaps there’s a moment of rest and relaxation inherent with that kind of music. Or maybe the post itself was a half-truth, wherein there will be no thrash music for a quiet night at a B&B. Or maybe, relaxation includes a loud night rather than a quiet night. Sort of depends.

Then, too, I read this on a website, and maybe that makes it all fictional. I tend to believe this one guy, though, as he writes like he really is. My best guess is the snuggle music for Aquarius isn’t the same a the snuggle music for other people. Not that it matters, with the planets, especially Mercury, where it all is, are? I wouldn’t count on most folks understanding the Aquarius point-of-view. Kind of ironic, isn’t it?

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pis Pisces: I was wondering along a usual pathway, usual for me, anyway, and I noticed a guy sitting by the edge of the lake. Had a hat, sunglasses, correct summer-like attire, and he was just sitting there. All he needed was a fishing pole, and he would’ve been a good picture, only, there was no pole. Something was missing from my version of the picture. Lake, late spring afternoon, thermometer was headed towards the "really hot" reading.

I was probably sweating. I was probably going to stake out a piece of the shoreline from which I could fish. Lot of probable action on my part, and that means, there was probably a lot of supposition. I don’t know what the real story was, for that guy sitting by the edge of the lake. I guess I could’ve loaned him a pole, or at last ascertained for sure that he was Pisces. But I didn’t. I left him well enough alone. Some days, that’s the course of action I chose.

I’d like recommend that you follow a similar course of action. Did that guy used to have a pole in his hand, only a really big fish dragged the pole into the water? Did he just forget? Was he contemplating love and loss? End of the world? Or maybe, hey just forgot to bring a fishing pole. Perhaps there was a jug-line I couldn’t see. It’s case where a whole lot of nothing can add up. Now, are you the Pisces person, sitting there, by the edge of the water undisturbed and contemplating some issue? Or are you the Pisces person with a brain like a wheel in a hamster cage, endlessly spinning? Chose wisely, consider the planets.

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ari Aries: The easiest way to advance your own agenda is to simply push forward, under your own power. You’re going to find, especially at the worst time possible, or in the worst way possible, that people and associations you depended on, those will fail. This can be a big damn deal, or this can be a minor annoyance.

In the long run, in the bigger picture, the people don’t fail, they just fail to live up to your unrealistic expectations — at the moment. No, your expectations aren’t really unrealistic, not if you stop and examine the picture. If you stop and think about it, no, there really isn’t a problem, but in the short term, the little window between now and next week? Sure as can be, you’re going to find yourself let down.

Might be some kind of unspoken action you counted on, and that might not come through. Again, this isn’t anyone’s "fault" other than, maybe, your own. What were you asking of that person? Association that wasn’t in black and white, not spelled out in a contract? That’s the problem, "I always thought I could count on you to help me move a dead body," you might say. In reality, if it was a dead body scenario, that friend would come through. It’s the relative nature of this and the planets, and the secret is to do it yourself this week.

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tau Taurus: Most of the long docks down at the coast, most of the inter-coastal water-way motels have these long docks for fishing. On the dock, there will be a place for cleaning what you caught, usually a freshwater tap and metal surface for cleaning fish. Or, in my case, bait. I was pinching shrimp heads off and throwing them back into the water. More than a few gulls noticed what I was doing and gathered there. I quickly became very entertained by the gulls themselves, the mocking laughter of their cries, the airborne agility, and best of all, the little squabbles a single shrimp head could cause.

I tend to buy live bait, and if I don’t use it in time, some of it is then dead bait. Which I package up and save as surf bait. Or part of a recipe for catfish bait. Not that it matters. I had, maybe, a pound of freshly dead shrimp to go through and put away. I’ve discovered that the shrimp bodies preserve pretty well and retain their flavor as bait but the shrimp heads just fall off in the process. Hence my action and feeding gulls while making bait. The idea that there’s something, might be routine, might be smelly, but something that can turn into a fascinating task, if you’ll let it? Like making bait and feeding gulls? Got options, my fine Taurus friend, exercise those options.

About the author: Born and raised in a small town in East Texas, Kramer Wetzel spent years honing his craft in trailer park in South Austin. He hates writing about himself in third person. More at

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