For the week starting: 7.3.2008

"High sparks of honour in thee have I seen."
Shakespeare’s The Tragedy of King Richard the Second [V.vi.34]

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can Cancer: Imagine, like, plotting the lines out on your life, and looking at the intersections of those lines. Where one event happened that changed your life for forever. I can see, in my own life, the hands of fate, my own whimsey, or the stars, dictating and directing. And then, there are days when I think it all is just matter of random chance. Looking at my life, plotted out by a series of lines, intersecting, colliding, spinning off in a new direction, I wonder what level of sheer random happenstance has some direction. Seems quite a bit.

It’s your birthday time, and until the moon fills out a little, you might be given to some existential angst, like me. However, is it all really that random? Do events occur, "for some reason?" Is there a guiding principle in your life? Guiding principle or not, this is a good time to pretend that there is, despite your empirical approach. It’s not about belief systems, though, it’s about launching yourself in a new direction.

Imagine that you’re like one of the oh-so-common fireworks going off. Bright trail of fire, pushing a payload in one direction. It arrives at its specified altitude. The timer goes off. The fuse burns down. A giant fireball, sparks and colors and noise, erupts. You’re heading towards a point when a lot of items will be very clear. Crystal clear. You’ll be able to see what it all means. This clarity, though, doesn’t come right away. Fate, the good lord, the stars. Questions, questions until the moon moves a little closer to full. And happy birthday.

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leo Leo: A friend of mine — I was in far West Texas — was recounting a tale about the mountains, the jagged, broken peaks that push up from the desert floor. "Dad said, ‘Those mountains don’t have any trees,’ to which I finally replied, ‘After thirty years, they still don’t have any trees,’ and then I suggested that trees would block the view."

At sunset, on the western flank of the mountains, or, in this one example, on the west side of the small mountain range, from our vantage point, down in the valley, right as the shadow goes creeping across the floor, just as dusk descends, there’s a stark and harsh beauty to the mountains. The sunset just makes the obvious that much more obvious. The way the color catches the mountains, and from our perch in the middle of the valley, it’s dusk, and yet, my friend still talks about the quote from her father.

The sunset’s light on the mountains is fleeting, at best. Before I could unlimber a camera, even a phone, the purple and umber were gone from the mountain’s flank. It’s really about being happy where you are. There’s a quiet solitude, maybe a little away from the usual crowd of adoring Leo fans, maybe away from all of that. There’s a gentleness and your Leo self just needs a little time away from "it," and I’m not sure what it is, but a little time away, that will help.

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vir Virgo: Funny song cycled up on the radio, the other afternoon. "The more I’m around some people, the more I like my dog." Not being a dog person myself, I can’t say that I’d agree, but the more I know about people, the more I want to be a cat. Cat sleeps, eats, gets petted when it wants to be petted, but not otherwise, and that’s about it.

I’d like that kind of existence. Food, affection, rest, relax, do it all over again, the next day. Dog expends too much energy, but I don’t guess it would be possible to write a country song about a cat. Something in there doesn’t work quite right.

Under the Saturn and Mars influence, you can try and write a country song about a cat, but I don’t think that’s what this is really all about. It’s about learning little things about people, and like the lyrical suggestion goes, the more your Virgo self learns about people, the more you might like your dog. Dependable companionship is important. Stalwart, dependable companions, yes, it’s all a good thing. Dogs being better than a lot of the people you run into these days? That, too. In fact, that’s part of the big picture. Me? As far as your Virgo self is concerned? Stick with the dog.

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lib Libra: There’s a problem with listening to too much country music, after a while, the lyrics get to where you wonder. Like, you wonder if it’s you they are signing about. It was a lone country — male, obviously — singer, and he was on the radio complaining, in his song.

It went a little like this, "Do I drink because she nags me, or does she nag me because I drink?" Valid question, almost makes you wonder if the singer was Libra, now doesn’t it?

The question is, "Which came first?" There’s an action and its appropriate reaction, but the singer’s point was valid, too. While it’s easy to argue about the semantics of the song’s true meaning, that not the point. It’s binary, that question, and Libra? We’re looking for a fair and just answer. This week, if possible.

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scoScorpio: I clicked on a website, that led me to another site, which finally dumped me off on third site, and they were advertising the most amazing product. It was, in essence, a tiny aluminum container with lord-only-knows what in it. It was a special radiation shield that would protect my DNA from outer space rays. I was wondering if they had a tin-foil hat version, and for almost twice the price of the first model, there was just such an item. It included some ability to travel through time and space.

I’ve got a similar locket. Cost about two bucks at an outdoor-supply store. I use the locket for medication, like OTC stuff I like to carry, for emergency. One tube was priced about 100 times what the cost of the empty container, and I can’t say, for sure, that it had real stuff in it. I thought the website was a hoax until I checked a little.

For every Scorpio, there’s another sign that will believe in this stuff. But this isn’t about patent medicine, or false gods, or just how gullible the public can be, no this is about Scorpio. Holiday! Party! Have a good time! And don’t believe any of the guys selling fake watches — unless you want to believe it. You’ll find that your Scorpio faith can instill power where Scorpio power needs to be.

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sag Sagittarius: We hit a weird as can be trigger point, and it has a lot to do with our Sagittarius selves. Mercury passes in opposition to Pluto. Wouldn’t be a big deal, but this is the last little reminder about what has been going on with Sagittarius for the last dozen years. Sort of a check point. Trigger point, check point, a check-up, maybe?

It’s one last blast from the past, to see if we passed the test. Doing well? That’s good, keep on track. Missed something? Before it’s too late, backtrack and correct the mistake. Errant problem? Again, back up and fix what needs to be fixed.

I know, it’s a big holiday weekend for some — for me — and that’s all fine and good. Nobody likes to party as much as us Sagittarius types. But while we’ve got this alignment with Mercury and Pluto? One last time? Think about correcting something, once and for all. Could make the weekend a lot more enjoyable, knowing that you can party in safety, now that it’s fixed.

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cap Capricorn: I remember being rather kind to this one customer service rep. Pretty lady, a little understated in her elegance, and perhaps, a little misunderstood, too. I do believe my sincere interest in her was misunderstood as a romantic advance. Not that I wouldn’t be romantically interested in her, it’s just a bit awkward, given the situation.

Retail, me, the professional clown, no, just wouldn’t work. Besides, I was just being polite, and I was trying to be a bit humorous, too. Dry wit. All got turned around, or that was the feeling I was left with, that I was hitting on this poor lass, and she was ready, willing and able to reciprocate. Only, it was just a misunderstanding. It happens, right?

Why would I be relating my tale about woe and miscommunication to a nice Capricorn, on the eve of a holiday? See: Jupiter, backwards in Cap., Sun and Venus opposite that Jupiter, it’s all about sharing that you feel good. But chose a good avenue where your shared joy won’t get misread. Like mine.

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aqu Aquarius: Lot of water in the sky, that was my first reaction to your chart. It really wasn’t, like, rain, it was a preponderance of planets in Cancer. Makes for a soggy 4th of July. Then, too, there’s some dirt up in the sky as well, with Mars and Saturn in Virgo. Reminds me of one of those "twister" afternoons, in north Texas. The sky clouds up, the temperature drops, the wind kicks up, then the wind kicks it up even higher, and it seems like most of the topsoil is stirred into the atmosphere. That, plus a little bit of moisture, but not too much, not really rain, in as much as it’s just a really heavy condensation, what with the dew point and the ambient temperature approaching each other, and this is a mess.

Me? You? We should just sit back and let our Aquarius selves be amused. This might be our atmosphere, but we’re not stirring this up, nor, for that matter, are we directly impacted by the whole mess. The biggest problem in twister weather is picking place where we’re out of the line of fire. Means we want a place where the occasional 200 MPH burst of wind, water, and debris, where that won’t spear us. There’s nothing to be afraid of, not in the immediate future, and the whole point is to realize that, as an Air Sign (best fixed air sign there is), Aquarius can remain aloof and apart from this. As long as we pick a safe vantage point. Like a storm cellar.

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pis Pisces: Right after the July 4th holiday time, there’s going to be a stray, possibly errant, firecracker. Might be, like, a bottle rocket. Fizz, flash, swoosh, boom. Shower of spark. Bright color, noise. Only, this is long after the holiday is over, and it might feel like a flashback to an incoming round. Perhaps mortar fire. Might feel like it was a short stick of dynamite shoved up your backside, too, and it might not be all that comfortable.

More than anything else, this is the direct result of Mr. Mars. I know at least one Pisces will argue that point with me, and say it’s not Mars but name a name. Or several names. Maybe a few cuss words, too, associated with the names. Descriptive, if not exactly colorful (or polite) language. Mars lines up with Saturn, and both of them line opposite from your gentle Pisces self. Those two planets, individually opposite you, that’s not too tough for you, you can usually shrug is off. But combined effect is going to leave you a little at loose ends.

Or feel like that bottle rocket was just let loose where you didn’t particularly want it. Mars is about both War (as in, god of) and Healing (as in, like, surgery). But in order to harness tis energy in an effective manner, you have to realize that the stray fireworks are still going off. And you have to ignore the spurious comments. The little explosions can be ignored. I don’t think there’s any big guns, this week.

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ariAries: Cruising along the interstate, in El Paso, my friend was driving and I was talking. I noticed a New Mexico-tagged car, winding precipitously in front of us. I recounted that that the international colors (symbols) for danger are red and orange. Like the older NM tags. Like the truck that was in front of us. My friend slowed, the NM truck dove across three lanes of traffic to barely make the next exit. I would’ve suggested that it was an exit that it was too late to make, but no one asked me. My friend, driving, hit the steering wheel and cussed a blue streak. Can’t say that it wasn’t called for, but then, there was warning from me, another warning from the tags, and finally, the carefully observed weaving.

As an Aries, you can cuss a blue streak, you can blame the drivers from out-of-state, you can looks at lot of other problems, but the easiest course of Aries action? Slow down. When a person, or person operating, a vehicle in front of you? When someone is up front, and looks like there might be trouble? Stay out of the way. It’s simple. Don’t make this complicated. The other side of the example? Texas tag in NM? Watch out, they really don’t know how to drive, either.

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tauTaurus: It was day-time talk-show advice. The guest was talking about the differences between men and women, especially about thermostat settings. "Woman like it warm, men like it cold, guys, to see her naked? Turn it up." Great advice, only, in my experience, it’s also wrong. Like the opposite of what I’m used to seeing. Guys can stand the heat whereas women prefer the AC set to a cooler setting. I’m not saying this is a general rule, but it does seem to fit with my observed behaviors.

I’m also one off. I could be all wrong, and, after all, that guest was a known speaker on a talk-show circuit whereas I’m just one guy who writes these little horoscopes. But the way I see it, with Mars hot in Virgo, and you being a Taurus and all, it would be a good time for adjusting your thermostat.

Which way? Save on the utility bill? That’s a good idea. The warmer you make it, the less clothing you have to to wear. Which goes against my personal advice, but as far as the planets are concerned? I’d say turn it up.

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gem Gemini: "That was Zen, this is Tao." It was a yin-yang sticker. Which, has nothing to do with any of this, except that I tend associate, in my mind’s eye, I see a yin-yang symbol, black and white, two tadpoles, in a circle, together, as the ultimate Gemini expression. Perfect way to explain it.

Mercury is ramped back up to full speed and by the end of the holiday time, he’s almost into Cancer. Mars and Saturn start get on top of each other, but then again, that’s just a reminder and a tickle from your past. How far past? Probably just from the last few weeks. Any other sign? Could be a tickle from the last few years, who knows? The trick with the planets, how to move Gemini ahead under a less than wonderful time for you? Remember that bumper sticker, that quote, "That was Zen, this is Tao."

You don’t have to have a firm grasp of the intricate nature of the Zen mind, or how someone (like me) would aspire to live with the tenets of Taoism, just a quick, Gemini-like cursory check, that works, too. The symbol, that yin-yang, reminds us of balance, black and white, good and bad, cowboy and indian, the north and the south, the east and the west. Just strike out for a balance point. I didn’t say you’d get there, I just suggested to head for that point where there might be balance.

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About the author: Born and raised in a small town in East Texas, Kramer Wetzel spent years honing his craft in a trailer park in South Austin. He hates writing about himself in third person. More at KramerWetzel.com.

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