"Not all the water the water in the rough sea
Can wash the balm from an anointed king."
Shakespeare’s The Tragedy of King Richard the Second (III.ii.56-7)
Leo: Happy Birthday baby! I’ve got a client who works in the Federal Courthouse, downtown. The big federal building. Each season, a local university provides a fresh crop of interns, young minds eager to grasp the intricate and delicate nature of the way our government is conducted.
True story: there was a new intern, young, and he was working on a computer in the back of the office. "I’m almost out of ink jet paper, what should I do?" My client, not missing a beat, "Just use the Xerox paper." So the new intern, pulls a sheet of paper out of his printer, walks over to the big copier machine, and copies the blank page a half-dozen times.
While this sounds like a joke, it was repeated to me, verbatim, from a federal employee; therefore, it must be true. Names withheld out respect for the inanity of it all. I just thought I’d mention this story, in passing, on your birthday, and remind you, "Without eternal Leo vigilance, it could happen here."
Virgo: I get to glimpse into the lives of a great number of people. In the Virgo corner, I am afforded an opportunity to glimpse into the lives of great people. Then, too, there’d the other side of that scenario. Instead of addressing an issue? Instead of rolling up her sleeves and going to work? One Virgo told me what she liked best? "Watching people clean on HGTV instead of cleaning myself."
Begs a question or two, I’m sure. Mars, Venus, Mercury and Saturn. All here in Virgo at this week’s moment. Each planet imparts a different sense, a different role, a different energy. But what will it be? I’d like to suggest, just as a suggestion, that the idea of watching someone clean on TV? While that can be an exciting kind of visual for a Virgo? Tantamount to foreplay, even? Yeah, while it’s an endearing image to play with, for the next few days, all I’m saying, with those planets? Yeah, doing instead of watching is a better idea.
Libra: Tourists are a funny lot, and single moms are always popular with me. I was off to meet with a client, and I was running a little early so I detoured by a certain downtown (tourist) hotel. I casually watched as a mom and her ten-year old kids piled into a mini-van. Wasn’t odd, nor was it odd that the bumper stickers suggested a strong Christian conviction, allied with a certain mega-church. Nope, all in good form. The kid was reluctant and excited, as only (I’m guessing) ten-year olds can be.
I observed long enough to make age and sun-sign associations for the kid then I turned my attention to the mom. Big wedding ring, slim build, carefully coiffured, casually arrayed in jeans and a T-Shirt that. I need to insert a noise, the sound of a record being abruptly stopped. That screech. She had on a slightly faded, slightly dated Red Hot Chili Pepper’s World Tour T-shirt. Didn’t, in my mind, go with anything else.
Planets are stacking up, and there’s a sense, you’re going to be like me, still trying to figure out, was the shirt a hand-me-down, a gift, or a souvenir? She go to the show? Was she a closet punk rocker? Or was I worried about something that I couldn’t understand?
Scorpio: Jumping to conclusions is a dangerous sport. I’m not saying that you’re acting in a rash or ill-thought out manner, but I’d exercise some of that good Scorpio caution, as need be, for the immediate future. Next couple of days, just as the moon begins to get full, just as it gets towards the witching hour, and it’s really about being under the cover of darkness.
See, that’s what this all about.
Just when you think you can move a stealthy manner, in a way that isn’t detected by non-Scorpio people, there’s some undue observation, undeserved attention that you get. I’m not saying it’s all bad. After all, as a Scorpio, your behavior is always above reproach. It is, isn’t it? Above reproach? No skeletons dangling in your closet? Just checking. The problem is the odd setup between the harmonies of the planets. Where it falls. How it falls. What falls out. Which leads us back to the first part of the problem, jumping to conclusions.
Sagittarius: I watched as this conversation unfolded, right before my eyes. Ears, really, as I was listening to it. "What’s for dinner, honey?" He asked. "They’ll be here around 8," she answered. "No, what are we having for dinner?" he repeated himself, and she answered, "Yes, I filled the car."
Older couple and they shuffled off out of earshot. I don’t know what happened next. I think they had some kind of an understanding about misunderstanding. That’s a cute couple who’s been together for some time, and they’ve worked out the details of saying one thing when one of them means something else.
If the guy was a Sagittarius, there would be problems this week. He’d get irritable because he discovered that she wasn’t listening. The Sagittarius would get upset because he was misunderstood. There would be harsh words. The good point is, apparently, she couldn’t hear the harsh words, which might be a Sagittarius uttering. All problematical. And some of this can be easily avoided. Loathe as I am to suggest it, if you’re not talking to someone who is half deaf? Maybe shut our Sagittarius mouth long enough for us to listen to what’s being said. Avoids confusion.
Capricorn: I confused Guacamole with English Peas. It was a natural mistake, simple enough, could’ve happened to anyone. Mashed green peas, to me, look like a guacamole. I don’t even know where I was when it happened, I just have it in my notes, and then, I can clearly recall, me making a fool of myself, "Cool, guacamole, just need some chips."
There are certain cultural differences that I celebrate. There are five distinct dialects just inside of Texas. The tamale line, basically every point south of Interstate Ten, is renowned for its variations of Tex-Mex, Mexican, or other regional cuisines. So I like the cultural differences.
I suppose I must’ve been overseas, and I’ll guess I was served mashed English Peas, mushy peas, and I’m sure I said something that made me look like a uneducated provincial (rube). It happens, and I usually don’t have to travel as far. While I played this out, and while I got a genuine giggle from a couple of onlookers, it doesn’t always happen that way. Look: you’re tempted to pull a stunt like this. I’m not saying it won’t work, but consider the odds of the joke being understood.
Aquarius: Embrace your inner (something). There, I just gave you the keys to the kingdom, just like black is the new black? You can start churning out T-shirts, coffee mugs, mouse pads, limited edition posters, and any other number of gimmick-driven paraphernalia and product. Stuff to sell.
No one has ever gone broke underestimating the American public.
So there’s an idea, and all you have to do is work up the details on the plan. Embrace your inner demon, embrace your inner adult, embrace your inner hooligan, the imagination runs wild with the possibilities. That’s the suggestion, and, as usual, I’m asking for a mere 1%.
No licensing deal is complete with a legal notice, too. But the plan is to get you to kick around an idea or two, maybe come up with the next big deal, and then capitalize on it. Get a place to print up a few t-shirts and see how the idea attracts attention, see what happens. Embrace your inner artist, then embrace your inner capitalist. There’s a suggestion that one of these ideas really will take flight. I have confidence in your inner Aquarius. Embrace that and see what happens.
Pisces: I was in a casino. Not a place that I frequent, but I have Sagittarius Luck, and I do play some. Lose more often than not, so maybe this was a while ago, but I was thinking about this singular experience in a casino, with all the lights flashing, the bells ringing, the buzzers buzzing, and to be truthful, I think it’s all background noise. More than just neon, there’s the illumination of the games, and the way the inside of a casino never feels like it’s any other time than high noon. Way it feels to me, anyway.
There’s a sense of hope that I feel like is peddled there, a sense that this next game, this next pull, that next roll of the dice will be the big win. What are we going to do then?
But never mind that now, you’re on a little bit of a streak, up and down at the same time. Torn, as it were between a rock and a roll. With all the little planets on the opposite side of the wheel, now isn’t a good time to gamble. But that’s not the real hint, not what I was thinking about, it was more along the lines of a guy, looking at me, in that casino, "Hey, you know somewhere quiet around here?" Probably not. Which is the point. In a place that is marked by, known for, and expected to be noisy? Looking for a quiet spot? Pisces, with the ruckus in Virgo? Expecting a quiet spot? Not going to happen.
Aries: I was traveling some place, ostensibly for work, and a baggage handler noted a sticker on my battered suitcase. "Home of Roy Orbison" was all that was left of the sticker. I should suggest that as a trivia question, "Where is the home of Roy Orbison?" Anyway, the guy said, "I’m down with that, I’ve got family in Beaumont."
Roy Orbison was from Wink, Texas. Imagine a map of Texas, and Wink is next to the SE corner of NM. Draw a horizontal line all the way across the state, and Beaumont is near the SW corner of LA. Lots of ground in between. Other than both townships are in the same state, there’s not much of a tenuous connection, even at best.
Part of the problem was half the sticker was scraped off, and then, there’s the geography question. I don’t think the guy was an Aries, though. With Venus and Saturn aligned, and with Mars in that mix? Careful about reaching for common ground when there’s an absence of fact.
Taurus: Long, hot summers, what it’s all about. Add a touch of rain, a hint of moisture, and there will be mosquitos. Flocks of them. Herds of them. Hordes of mosquitos, swarming, biting, sucking blood. And the biting, it really bites.
I’ve learned a secret for dealing with the little vermin, too, it’s the peppers. The hot, spicy food is good, but better yet, just the peppers. Peppers with breakfast, lunch and dinner? Pretty soon the bugs leave you alone.
I believe it’s the active ingredients in Cayenne that are the most effective elements, but it’s certainly the principal components of any spicy combination, that’s what works. Might be urban mythology, might be modern folklore, but it does seem to work. Hot, peppery food groups will protect you best. The Sun is in Leo, but the bulk of the planet influences are in earth signs, which means a simple kind of "folk" remedy will work. Like peppers to combat airborne insects.
Gemini: A great number of my little Gemini friends tend to move at a higher rate of speed and figure things out, like, long before it happens. Which is why this is an odd time. There’s a lot of planets affecting Gemini, all stacked up in Virgo.
Like planetary confusion, rush hour for the celestial traffic, and possible trouble for Gemini as the week slides by. The sun is still moving at a predictable pace, still in Leo, and therein is part of the caution.
A typical Gemini response would be to admit the problem, find the fault, address the issue and move on, but there’s a sticking point. It’s all fine and good that your Gemini self can detect, reflect and fix the problem, but the rest of us are going to be lagging behind your Gemini self.
Cancer: The question is, how to punctuate this sentence: "A woman without her man is nothing." Personally, I’m in the feminist camp on this one, "A woman, without her, man is nothing." But that’s just me.
There’s the other option, slide that comma around, and the sentence could mean something else. I’m not going there, not me. I’m certainly no feminist, just an equal rights sort of person. Guy, really. And while I’m admittedly sexist, that doesn’t mean I can’t appreciate the proper way to punctuate the phrase, like I’ve demonstrated.
This isn’t really about gender roles, or relationships, or the sad state of the inequality based on sexual preferences, though, this is about a simple phrase. It’s like a little test. How it should be filled varies from person to person. Like me, and let’s pretend I was a Cancer person, it’s all about how this should be filled out. Appropriate responses can tell a lot about a person. That’s what this is about.
