“For thou wilt lie upon the wings of night,
Whiter than new snow on a raven’s back.”
Shakespeare’s Romeo and Juliet [III.ii.20-1]


More info on Gemini.

un ad


Sagittarius: I was sitting in a friend’s apartment, and I was working away on something, on a laptop. I thought about a fact I wanted to check, more than likely for a scope, and I figured I’d swipe a little bandwidth from the neighbor. I flipped through the wireless stuff. I found four or five networks that were there. All of them were locked. Or rather, each one of them had a password-protected log-in. Of course, at home, my own network is password-protected, but that doesn’t mean I think everyone should.

Besides, this was a friend’s place, and she lives in a pretty upscale neighborhood. I think I’ve looked before, and I thought there were at least two networks that were open. It was a little frustrating. Everyone was practicing “safe-computing,” or, “safe networking,” or better yet, “safe hex.” The minor frustration reminded me of what was truly free, and what wasn’t exactly free. I was honest, like a good Sagittarius that I am, and I said I was going to steal some bandwidth. Only, my idea was thwarted. Consider this as the holiday draws closer. Something we’ve been taking for granted? Something simple like a little bit of the neighbor’s bandwidth? Some window gets shut. I could use my friend’s computer, it was wired, but that just seemed so archaic.

The weekly video is here.

un ad


Capricorn: I was at a girlfriend’s place and she was wrapping presents. Less of a girl and more of friend these days. Our association goes way back, and we’ve been around each other for a long time. She asked me to fetch her something, ribbons, I think, out of one of her closets. I came back, out of her closet, with the sticky tape and one of my shirts. That shirt has been missing for months, maybe a year or more.

Instead of saying anything, I just tossed it next to my pack, and when I left the next morning, I just grabbed the shirt and stuffed it in my overnight backpack. Anyone who knows me would wonder why there wasn’t a melodramatic scene. For one, it was a favorite shirt, just a plain, faded black and white plaid yoke-cut shirt with faux pearl snaps. Liked it a lot. Cheap, not that price was the big deal, just a good shirt.

How it got in her closet? We’ll never know, except, I’m sure, it didn’t just walk in there of its own accord. I can spend some time analyzing the apparent path that shirt took to get from my possession to her closet, but that’s almost fruitless at this time. What was once lost is found. Leave it at that. Recriminations and blame are a luxury no Capricorn can afford (now) — just be glad you got your shirt back — can’t say you lost the shirt off your back.

The weekly video is here.

un ad


Aquarius: I got a special — astrological — present that will arrive in the new year. In the time in between, like oh, say, for the next week to ten days? Just hold off on the big celebrations. The outlandish, outward display of joy, amusement, happiness, sadness, angst, trouble, pleasure and other holiday-related emotions? Just chill.

There was a cold-snap, and it dropped the temperature quite a bit. In a hurry. One day, it’s all warm and nice out, and then, suddenly, it’s all winter-like again. This is local, but that’s as good an example of what’s going on with Aquarius. One minute, it’s all happy and shorts with sandals and colorful shirts, and the next morning? It’s like, all winter. Which isn’t so bad unless you’re like me, and we’re accustomed to it being one way, and this temperature drop, it’s like a really unsettling situation.

Face-to-face with adversarial conditions? Best way to face this? Look: there is good stuff, in the new year, as soon as it arrives. Until then? Stuck. Weather got hot, or cold, or wet, or dry, or whatever you didn’t want it to do. It’s not really a conspiracy to make Aquarius unhappy, it’s just a chance to get a single, maybe a few, leftover details out of the way before the new stuff, the good stuff, starts.

The weekly video is here.

un ad


Pisces: There’s always one that tries to slip through the grid. One present, one task, one goal, one little item left on your “to-do” list that makes it through. Thought you had it all wrapped up, and one makes it through to the last minute. It’s how you choose to react to “emergency” situations. Situation. Well, really, situations.

See, some other person, probably not a Pisces, and there’s one little item that needs your Pisces attention. Can’t be helped. There are two ways to deal with this kind of last-minute problem. One is calm and collected. The problem with calm and collected? The person, the thing, the situation itself? It doesn’t feel like you’re responding the right way. Not enough empathy. If you act all cool, calm and collected? There’s no sense of urgency. Times like this can use a little drama.

I’ve found that a little manufactured drama, more empathy than the situation — or problem — seems to warrant in your own Pisces head? Try it. Instead of being cool, try a little (manufactured) hysteria. You will be surprised at how well that works to calm the other people concerned with the situation, problem or little last-minute challenge.

un ad


Aries: There’s one magazine I used to read, standing in line at the grocery store. I tend to pick the longest line because I can catch up on tabloid news, for free.

Then there’s the entertainment value of that one magazine, “What men really want/do/think/feel and how to please/tease/ambush/trap/marry them.” What’s weird, some of that work is signed by male writers, but I have to doubt the material. Or the pen name. Not that I’m biased, or anything, but I’m a guy. And some of that material, as presented is factually inaccurate.

A girl could get hurt trying some of that, as suggested. Some is plain common sense, and some is plain nonsense. If a woman ever tried some of the suggestions I read one time? Not happening. I’m out the door and never to be seen again. I’m just warning about free advice, or advice that seems a little manufactured. The high holy days are upon us. Keep good counsel, but sometimes? Maybe just stick to what you know. That self-help material that comes from the cover of magazine in the checkout line at the grocery store? Are you sure that’s a reputable source?

The weekly video is here.

un ad


Taurus: There’s always one last lesson you have to learn before we can wrap up this year. There’s always one little mistake, perhaps it started out as a simple misunderstanding, but there’s just that one little point left over, has to be covered. Not a big deal, a little deal. Or maybe it is a little lesson with a great big lesson stuck inside that little one, and the big one is trying to free itself.

The next question, since this is directed at Taurus, are you going to heed the signs? The symbols, the portents, the stars and such, all point towards a simple lesson. Are you learning? Is the message contained therein clear? Is it really a little deal or a big deal? How big? How big are you gong to let this get? Is it an “I told you so” situation? Or is this more along the lines of, “Oh no, not again”?

Three influences, well, two, anyway, the aforementioned Saturn in Virgo and Sun/Jupiter/Mercury in Capricorn, and add to that mix, Venus in Aquarius, we get trines and squares. Most them them are good,. Still, there’s a hint, a strong suggestion from the planets, one piece of leftover business. One small message, maybe a big one, one whatever message that needs to be delivered. Now is the time to finish up the yearly stuff.

The weekly video is here.

un ad


Gemini: At some point, at some particular intersection of Time and Space, even consider this like a third axis to make it truly three dimensional, but at some point, where it all comes together? That’s where the weird music starts. Or stops.

As a Gemini mind, in a Gemini body, you’ve got to make a stand. There is an ethical, moral, societal stance, and you need to stand firm. Good or ill? Again, up to you. I got one Gemini friend, and the way I see it, her, really, she’s absolutely certain about one issue. Right now, anyway. How certain will she stay? Gemini, like three or four planets, so she won’t stay certain. But she is absolutely resolute at this moment, right now, about this one issue. Irrevocably. Without a question. Beyond a shadow of doubt.

As you encounter this point of no return, my little Gemini friend, remember that it could change, and it could change soon. However, as you stand at that one point where it all comes together? Stop and think, is this where you really want to make a stand?

The weekly video is here.

un ad


Cancer: I’m not really a history guy. I’ve studied a few periods of history and I’ve read enough historical fiction to know what is correct, and what is just make-believe. Sometimes, like, especially on TV? Historical verisimilitude is stronger than historical fact. What’s more fun is seeing a car in the background of Western, or the contrails of a jet overhead. But that’s just me, nitpicking a little, and I’m not very good at that. And, I’m not, truth be told, for historical accuracy, a Cancer Sun Sign.

However, if I was a Cancer Sun Sign, or if I was more ruled by the influences that are hitting Cancer now, I’d be interested in historical accuracy. I’d be wanting more information, greater depth of detail, and most important, the factual material surrounding whatever it was. The facts, just the facts. Cut through the merry-making that’s going on, and try to ascertain just what the real facts are. Doesn’t mean you can’t have a good time, but realize that sometimes, the stories are modified to make it seem more real than it is. Don’t confuse facts, fictions and feelings.

The weekly video is here.

un ad


Leo: I’ve been in this business for years. I’ve learned a few things. I’ve learned that time will heal most wounds, and I’ve learned that time wounds all heels. Just subtle reminder for my Leo friends about what’s up. It’s the end of the calendar year for me, for my friends, and that means Capricorn started, and it started with a not-too-subtle bang.

Also means, for the time being, eschew conventional wisdom (you’re reading MY horoscopes, you must skip the normal stuff), and turn your Leo head towards a nasty little work riddle. I’m calling it a riddle instead of a problem, because if it was Leo “problem,” then we’d all hear about it, and we’d all be enlisted to rescue the Leo. The Leo. Sorry.

Anyway, it’s not really a problem so much as a riddle, and you’re stuck trying to figure it out while everyone else — so it seems — is busy trying to have some holiday fun. Your task, work on the answer to the riddle, is a tough one, but approach it like a riddle or a puzzle, not a problem, and see if you can cook up a solution that will astound us all.

The weekly video is here.

un ad


Virgo: I was waiting on a friend. Could be anyplace where this sort of event happened, but I was in a train station. I glanced at the clock when I came in, indicated it was 8:25. I picked up a magazine, flipped through it, answered an email on my phone, clock stuck at 8:25. Second hand ticking. It was about ten or fifteen minutes before I realized what was going on. At first, I thought I was very impatient.

Maybe I was moving at the speed of light, or Gemini speed. Looked like the clock was ticking. Looked like the sweep second hand was sweeping. Only, after about fifteen minutes, I realized it wasn’t moving forward. The clock’s battery, be my estimation, had run down. The second hand was ticking, again and again, at the same spot. Not advancing. So I was tricked because I was going off a casual glance, the first time. Honest mistake.

As the holidays march irrevocably to their conclusions, think about how I was almost late because I didn’t bother to examine the evidence closely the first time. The clock was ticking, just not moving forward. The train? Arrived half an hour late, but according to the clock, it was right on time.

The weekly video is here.

un ad


Libra: There’s a hairstyle, been popular for several years, it’s, I think, called “streaking.” Normally dark hair is sporadically bleached blonde. When done right, it looks like the hair has just been sun-bleached. On a person with the olive skin, this is a very fetching look. When it’s done well. When it’s done badly? It looks, well, not good.

I can imagine that one done at home, that’s what I was looking at the other afternoon. The dark brown hair was streaked, but it each streak of bleach was even, uniform. Maybe it was intended that way. I wondered if it was done at home, or done by an inexperienced hair colorist. Or maybe a Virgo did it, having to make sure each streak was even, uniform, and identical in breadth and depth to its neighbor. Just looked funny to me.

I’ve seen it more than once, but this was a good example of something done badly. Hair color and by extension, hair style is highly subjective, but this is important, particularly to a Libra. Think about that do-it-yourself style, where everyone of the streaks is even, looks like a blond/brunette zebra stripe. Think about asking for help with the holiday decorating, whether it’s you, or someone else.

The weekly video is here.

un ad


Scorpio: I snuck out to go fishing the other afternoon. Seemed like a month of Sundays since I’d last wet a line, and there was a bit of mild weather, just seemed like the thing to do. Wasn’t out for more than a couple of hours, and I didn’t get anything of note. More nibblers than catchers, and not that great. But I was fishing, and that counts for something, doesn’t it?

I know, days before Xmas, and I was fishing. Works for me. Sort of like a little bit of an early Xmas present, to myself. I needed some fresh air, and little time alone. As a Scorpio, I’m sure you understand that, a little time alone, and little bit of an early Xmas present, to yourself.

Now, when I started out to describe what I did, how I went fishing for an afternoon, as a Scorpio, you reacted with a knee-jerk, “Nuh-huh.” Think about how you reacted to my admission, and then, think, how would someone react to you saying that you’re doing the same thing? Here’s the hint: it’s okay to go fishing (or whatever you like), just don’t tell anyone you took a mental health day, or time for yourself, or that you gave yourself an earl Xmas present. We’ll just keep this as a secret between us. You’ll feel better, and I’ll feel better knowing that you feel better.

All Rights Reserved
copyright (c) 2007, 2008 Kramer Wetzel, for astrofish.net


About the author: Born and raised in a small town in East Texas, Kramer Wetzel spent years honing his craft in trailer park in South Austin. He hates writing about himself in third person. More at KramerWetzel.com.

Use of this site (you are here) is covered by all the terms as defined in the fineprint, and there might be, maybe, a material connection between the hot links and this site (sometimes).

© 1993 – 2021 Kramer Wetzel, for astrofish.net &c.