Fishing Guide to the Stars
By Kramer Wetzel
(c) 2007-2008 Kramer Wetzel for astrofish.net
- “How like a winter hath my absence been
From thee, the pleasure of the fleeting year!
What freezings have I felt, what dark days seen!
What old December’s bareness every where!”
Shakespeare’s Sonnet XCVII [1-4]
Sagittarius: I like Marcus Aurelius. Handy reference book, solid quotes, usually with nary a hint of modern irony. "It is the fate of princes to be ill-spoken of for well-doing" (Book Seven, verse 36). I’d like to point out that I do consider most Sagittarius to be regal, prince-like people. There will always be a rogue Sagittarius (or any other sign) that can skew the numbers, but as a rule, we’re pretty "prince-like."
At least I’d like to think so.
And that quote for Marcus? Couldn’t fit better. Think about that as the week goes sliding by, as Mars and Mercury fry our best interests and realize that the planets are going to conspire to interfere with our best intentions. Or, like Marcus observed, our best intentions are going to spoken ill of. Can’t make them change their minds, either.
Capricorn: Science. We’re going to have a science lesson today We’re going to look at particle and wave functions, and then, we’re going to learn that Light moves faster than Sound. There’s the arguably famous “double slit” experiment. You know that one, right? Maybe not. Then there’s the question of Quantum Physics. Then there are even more questions. Starts with gravity, I think. Grave issue. Or matters of attraction. Or is it attracting and repelling at the same time? I’m not so sure.
I was really going in one direction with all this science stuff, but I got confused, a little. But there is a point, too. Pluto is starting an earnest ascent in Capricorn. Get used to it. Very powerful influence, whether it’s a planet asteroid, dwarf planet, or just a cute cartoon animal. And yes, light does move faster than sound. That’s why someone can appear bright until they start talking. That’s the real lesson, now isn’t it?
- Aquarius: The holiday madness is now. Just a crazy time when everyone starts doing weird stuff. Can’t be helped. What I need these days? I could use a good “laying on of hands.” “Out, out ye demons!” Imagine a good, old-fashioned circuit riding evangelist preacher, putting his hands on the foreheads of the faithful and then casting the demons out. Consider a form of spiritual exorcise.
An evangelical Christian, preferably with Southern Baptist leanings is the best. Or the best to envision. There’s a flavor, a sentiment and general air of “holier than thou” that is needed. All right, we’ve got the scene set, the preacher man, and you need to figure out, right now, are you that preacher man? Are the one with the power of the Spirit to cast devils and demons from your parishioners’ souls? Or are you the one who need little exorcise? You get to make the call on this one, but you’re on one side or the other, and chasing out demons is more fun than being possessed. Well, usually more fun.
Pisces: It’s December, and the winter Texans are here. They arrived, not quite in the large droves, but here, nonetheless. I was sitting in a restaurant, listening to an old hand Winter Texan explain the lay of the land. “Yeah, got to be careful, I mean, I’ve seen it freezing, not really ‘freezing,’ but cold enough to be close, and them two days later, it’s back up to sunny and seventy. Have to be ready for anything with this winter weather.”
Which is true. The advice was well-intentioned. I’m thinking though, as I listened over my shoulder, the guys were in a booth behind me, I wondered if they thought to mention that the parcel of land is known as South Texas, and that it is classified as “sub-tropical.” Portions of that are also part of the desert, mostly in Mexico, but that arid land does stretch up this way a ways. And as such, we’re used to the extremes.
Snowbirds, “Winter Texans,” and the ilk? Especially on the first trip? Could come as a shock. Then, too, there’s the winter wear. I have one “heavy winter coat” that barely qualifies as a windbreaker to some Yankees. To me, though, it’s more than adequate for our “winters,” such as they are. I’m not saying that it is going to be cold. I’m not saying it’s going to be hot, this isn’t really about the weather outside, it’s about the Pisces astrological weather. And that’s all a matter of how you look at it. Me? I tend to see it as ideal, but I’m used to the extreme changes.
Aries: I was watching the History Channel. Or the National Geographic Channel, but I think it was the history one. The broadcast group had a history special on, about Texas, a subject near and dear to my heart. “First a Texan then an American, a nation and a state, and a state of mind.” Sounds good. But the facts, as they presented them that evening, there was some gaping holes in the material. Perhaps I’ve lived in the capitol, or the cradle of liberty, or maybe I’ve traipsed up and down the historical routes and visited the scared shrines at Goliad, Gonzales, and of course, San Antonio de Bexar.
I wasn’t too offended, as I understand, to make it interesting TV, one most pick and choose what will make it. And what won’t make it. I was, on a personal level, offended that the details of the Alamo and the Battle of San Jacinto were kept to sound-bites and popular culture. Again, that’s me picking apart a history channel special, a made-for-TV history pitch. Of course, they leave out important bits, makes for better TV. Just hit the high pieces, the big, more important points. Miss the details and the motivations. At least they got the cultural part mostly right, with more than a mention of the Tejano components to the Texas Irregular Army. Face-to-face with with a TV program like this, you’re going to be like me, irritable. Write a letter? Why? What good will it do? Protest, boycott? Again, who will notice? There’s a time, and place, to make a stand. This isn’t your Alamo.
Taurus: Crab is a tasty treat. Crab cakes, especially, are a favorite with me. However, crab legs? Like, crab, still in its shell? I’m not a big fan of that. Too much work for too little reward. I like my crabs already peeled, if I’m going to enjoy them.
I was thinking about crab, crab meat and crab cakes because I was looking at the Taurus chart, and I was thinking about a nice shellfish meal. Then I got to thinking about how much hard work it is the make that meal, like the aforementioned crab cakes. Then I was thinking about how it’s really just too much work for “peel and eat” crab legs, at least, for me, it’s just too much work.
You’re a Taurus, though, not like me. And you might not think that the crab legs are too much work. I’m still trying to figure out, though, who cracked the first crustacean to discover the tender flesh inside? Not that it matters. The effort, is it worth the results? That’s the question. I can’t answer for you, but I suspect, from looking at the influences in your chart, that this is a time when the effort is amply rewarded. Me? I’d still complain if I had to crack the crab legs.
Gemini: As Pluto moves out of Sagittarius, that means it moves away from place where it was opposite anything in your chart. That spells out a kind of relief for Gemini. However, the lesser influences, just minor planets like Mars and Mercury, not to mention the Sun itself, are all still opposite you. Happens like this sometimes. Also means you’re ratcheted up into some kind of mania.
It’s not that big of a deal. Well, it is that big of a deal to your Gemini self, and I’ll agree with you, it should be that big of a deal, but I’ll also warn you, it’s really not that big of a deal. It is but it isn’t. I’m pretty good at circumloquation, getting around a point rather than just spitting it out.
While I might be good at this, the point with Gemini is lost. Big irritant is gone, got it? Lots of little irritants? Still there. How you deal with these? Up to your own personality. One of those little deals will seem like a pretty big deal at the moment. Again, how you deal, that’s up to you.
Cancer: The Pluto myth, I’ve covered it in less details earlier, but the Pluto myth is one that’s going to have an impact on Cancer for the foreseeable future. Can’t be avoided. Or, you can avoid it, but it’s still going to have an influence.
I’m an old hand at dealing with Pluto and Pluto-type energy. And I’m rather unwilling to get into the debate as to whether Pluto is a planet, dwarf planet, astroid, or just a Planet X. What Pluto represents is change. It’s an urge, a yearning, a persistent pushing, almost like a goading, and it’s that going on — in varying degrees of intensity — for the next few year. Get used to it.
But Pluto — the planet — and Pluto — the character from mythology — both spend close to half a year in hiding. In the case of the planet it’s like 5 months retrograde and the mythological character, it’s six months underground. Still, that leaves a lot of leeway for changes to be absorbed. So there’s change, in the wind, on the Cancer horizon? When? Soon enough. Best course of action? Have a good holiday. Embrace the changes.
Leo: I tried being nice and I tried to gently warn you about this crap, but you didn’t listen. Who’s fault is that? I made a good effort, due diligence and all that, but the little Leo wasn’t listening. Or, you weren’t hearing. Or, you weren’t hearing what I was meaning, not what it was that you didn’t want to hear
There’s a tendency, I’m not saying for sure, but there’s a tendency for you to get your Leo fur all raised up in defense. You get all whacked out of shape over a perceived slight, which as it turns out is just a perceived sleight, not the other kind. Someone makes a mistake, and you take the incorrect information, the misinterpreted situation, the wrong perception, and you run with it. Hey, sometimes a good rant is a lot of big fun. But sometimes you overdo this, and sometimes, this is what hurts the worst, you have to admit you were wrong.
Traced back a faulty perception. Which, I can earn my dollar and save you from the pain, frustration, and what’s the worst possible part? The embarrassment. I can save you from all that by just getting you to look twice, listen, but don’t jump to a conclusion that it was all about an attack on you. Which it wasn’t. Other people usually aren’t that stupid.
Virgo: It’s time, and I seem to do this every year. I bought a new filler for my little day/datebook. I tend to use the “month at a glance” calendar view. Works better for my style. I can keep track of appointments and such, one month at a time. The spaces for each day aren’t too big, and I don’t have to worry about overbooking myself. It’s a little December ritual for myself, I’ve done this for the past few years, sooner or later, I’ll be in an office store, or the office aisle, and I’ll see the right size calendar refill.
Each year I’ll promise myself I’m going to start using a paper version of my calendar to keep track of readings, bookings, appointments and so on. And each year, I’ll ignore it. But I do go through the little ritual of purchasing the calendar refill pages, and I do think about what it means. I did, before the advent of electronic calendars and web pages, I did use that very calendar. But I don’t these days. Haven’t in some years, although, there’s a certain longing I have for a pencil and paper. To be honest, though, going back to paper and pencil, for me, is that progress? That’s my question, and as we all approach the holidays, them the next year, think about that
Libra: Ever heard of the 50/50/90 Rule? It states that “Any 50/50 question stands a 90% chance of you guessing the wrong answer.” Maybe I’m not so good at some statistical analysis, but I’ll suggest, in my course of dealing with human behavior, that the rule holds up pretty well. I’d also suggest, as we get up to this full Moon that’s rapidly approaching, we all pay attention to that rule, all of us here in Libra.
Libra is fair-minded and equitable. Always liked my Libra lawyer, as he would address me as innocent until proven guilty. He could always see both sides of the problem. However, like my lawyer, there is a problem. And like my lawyer, you’re jumping in here to defend me — looks like it’s a 50/50 chance.
Right or wrong? Sort of tough call on that one. However, leap of faith at a time like this? Not such a good idea. After all, the 50/50/90 rule isn’t in our favor. So what will it be, Libra?
Scorpio: Stupidity, it’s like a booger. It’ll just stick to anything. And stupidity, it doesn’t come unglued, either.
I was thinking of Velcro, as an example, but Velcro, or any hook/loop fastener, it will come apart if you yank hard enough, and there’s usually no damage.
It’s like that, “If they make it foolproof? Someone will come up with a smarter fool.”
