Fishing Guide to the Stars
By Kramer Wetzel
For the week starting: 1.1.2009
"I summon up remembrance of things past."
Shakespeare’s Sonnet 30 (line 2).
The year ahead: 2009.
Mercury Retrogrades Jan. 11 to 21 (Aquarius-Capricorn), May 7 to 22 (One degree Gemini – Taurus), Sep. 7 to the 28th (Libra-Virgo), Dec. 21 to Jan 14 (Capricorn). I hold that there’s a theme to a retrograde pattern, and looking at the obvious symbolism here, starting in Air signs and retrograding back into Earth signs? That’s doing the Mercury thing where the planet calls for review, revision, and renewal in matters that are thoughts (Air) realized on planet Earth (Earth). Thinking makes it so. The test comes at the end of the year as Mars turns retrograde in Leo and the following year is about Mercury Retrograde in Earth signs. However, this is just part of a larger pattern.
Jupiter basically spends the entire year in Aquarius, and Saturn is (still) in Virgo. Venus RX from Mar. 5 until Apr. 15, in Aries, but tapping the last of Pisces. Mars starts an RX pattern in Leo, around Dec. 20, 2009 (until March 2010).
Capricorn: There’s a lame joke about limping forward and hobbling into the new year. More than one of my little Capricorn friends will be like that, though, limping, hobbling, walking with crutches, and these can be for real, or they can be imaginary. The challenges are here, and yet, there’s also birthdays and there’s also, this I like, a quiet sense of optimism, although, I’m sure, at least one of my Capricorn friends will claim that there is no optimism and there is nothing to be hopeful about. At all.
Jupiter and Mercury slide on into Aquarius but this will bring a little less tension in your own Sun Sign. Still have Mars, and you just better get used to that. Mars is a hot frying pan. You can get burned, or you can cook up something nice. Since Jupiter (and Mercury) are checking out? How about cooking up something good. There’s also a sense that the frantic pace is slowing down. Have a good one. Watch out for the Mars activity that winds up with you limping into the new year. Wait, we’ve already used that lame joke.
Aquarius: Weird energy, that’s for sure, huh? Jupiter and Mercury slip on into Aquarius, but that doesn’t mean it’s time to go full throttle just yet. Jupiter is like a sword, a double-edged sword. Cuts both ways. The upside is Jupiter makes us feel good and brings good fortune. The problem side is that Jupiter brings the promise of good fortune and the illusion of monetary wealth.
Typically, an Aquarius doesn’t fall prey to the illusory world of make-believe. The challenge as this year stars out is to not spend the promised money until the cash arrives. I’ve got an Aquarius client, just like week, got a huge check for services rendered (business deal). Check didn’t clear for ten days, which meant, although the money was there, it wasn’t really there yet. That’s what this is all about. The money that’s there but not there. Means the Xmas bonus I was hoping for probably won’t arrive until next week. The way not to do this? Send me the bonus now and hope that the check clears. All I’m trying to do is prevent a cascading money domino effect. In Aquarius. Because of Jupiter.
Pisces: I got it as a joke, a gift for my sister. It’s a "glow in the dark Virgin Mary," and somehow, the gift never made to my sister. The tacky religious icon has traveled with me for years. After the last migration, the little symbol wound up on my desk.
I think I’ve been meaning to give that to my sister for several years. But, in a way, I like it, too. The Virgin Mary, or maybe it’s Vigen de Guadalupe, I’m not sure, but the little icon carries some extra symbolism with me, the principle of the goddess hidden in plain view, in a frankly patriarchal religion. And I’m not really prepared to debate merits or points about the religions. I could very easily be wrong, and that’s just my opinion that it’s the image of the goddess hidden in plain view.
Certainly don’t want to piss off any fundamentally Christian believers. Not me, wouldn’t want to do that at all. This is about hiding something in plain sight. With Saturn and Uranus heading toward that ticklish point again, I’d suggest that even hiding something in plain sight? No matter what you do, I’m sure some authority figure is liable to whack you. Whatever you do, don’t invoke the ire of certain staid and conservative voices. But that little icon is pretty cool. Glows in the dark, too. The glow in the dark is just kind of eerie at times.
Aries: This new year starts a little rough. Not as smoothly as you would like, It’s not without some benefits, it’s just that it doesn’t get off to a good start, not right away. "So it begins badly, that it?" Aries asks.
No, I just said "not as smoothly" as one would like. There’s a bit of a rough patch. This less about the overall Aries situation and more about headway you’re just not making at this moment. There’s a slowdown, a general letdown, a universal concept that hits between Xmas and New Year’s. A kind of ennui, a realization that there’s another calendar year and some things haven’t improved as much as we wanted them to.
What can you do, now it looks hopeless, and suddenly, I’m writing about a rough patch. "So it’s all bad?" That’s not the hint. The idea is that it’s a good time to slow down the Aries rush to get stuff done. The rough patch requires finesse to negotiate. Just try slowing down for the next couple of days, get everything done.
Taurus: Not many people can truly jump into the new year with the glee and awe percolating in Taurus. But it is that good. There’s just one inclination after another that indicates good stuff. So it’s there, at least, astrologically, it’s all there. The good stuff from the heavens is available, free, for the taking, in Taurus. For Taurus. I suppose, the only point that matters, though, is that this is free, for the taking. The good stuff, the goal, the goals, whatever it is that you’re looking for, whatever it is that you seek, that one item, that one destination, it’s all there.
Go for it. I suppose, the real key, the way to start this year? Instead of thinking about what it is you want? Instead of mulling over the decision? Just grab and go. Wrap your hand, or hands, around what it is that you want and give that a good tug. Should fall right into your grasp.
Gemini: The microwave oven is a miraculous invention. I’m not sure who dreamed it up. Who ever came up with the idea of cooking food by banging the electrons together? Or alternating the current between the poles of the electrons in the fat and water? Pretty clever.
From what I’ve gathered, the microwave oven was a happy by-product from an auto-didactic engineer working on some other project. And soon it became an industry. The microwave "radar range" cooks food in a very short time. It is the perfect Gemini tool. Like that fast-cooking oven, though, there is a warning or two. Some flavor is lost. Some portion of food’s desirable qualities is lost. Like, say, the burger patty I was about to nuke. For me, it works just fine. I’m dining alone, sitting here, struggling with a way to get message across to Gemini, and I pop the burger in the microwave for a couple of minutes, it pops, sizzles, and the burger is done, more or less, in a few minutes. No mess, no fuss.
But it lacks that appeal of "real smoke flavor," and the greasy meat byproducts in the bottom of a frying pan. Some things in Gemini, as much as you would like it to work like a microwave? Some things are better the old-fashioned way, takes longer.
Cancer: This New Year couldn’t come at a better time, not with what’s kicking up dust. There’s almost a conspiracy to make my darling Cancer friends take a close and hard look at certain issues. Give that some consideration. The Sun is at a halfway point in your chart, sort of like a "half-birthday." That’s as good a time as any, probably even better for you, to stop and think about what you want, what you don’t want, and what needs to be changed.
Sweeping changes are usually a tall order, the big New Years’ Resolutions are soon followed by abysmal failure. However, the "I’m going to work out EVERY DAY" soon becomes the forgotten wish amid a pile of fast-food take-out containers.
Mars is opposite you, as well as the Sun. Mars is all about picking and choosing the New Years’ Resolutions you want to keep. I’d stick with the workout plan, especially considering Mars, but I’d plan to temper that plan with reason, logic and simple physical limits. 7 days a week? Who are you kidding? Two, three or even five for the next month, that should be good enough.
Leo: Shut up and let it be good. Sure, that’s a twisted humorist at work in your own life, the Leo Life (should be trademarked). Instead of trying to summon up superhuman feats of will power and derring-do, consider sitting back and letting this material roll past you.
I was thinking, January 2nd, 2009, you think you should be on holiday. Here’s a hint: no. Go to work. Go to the office, the garage, the shop, go wherever it is that you do that stuff called work. You can stamp a Leo foot and scream at me, but let’s be realistic.
Holiday is over, you get to work one day while most of the people call in sick, or some people fail to show up at all, for no known reason, other than, it is the first Friday and it ought to be a holiday. But it’s not. I’k suggesting you jump right on in and get to work Get a jump start on the rest of the other fools this year. Finally get one up on everyone else. You probably didn’t really get a lot accomplished, other than look good, which was the point of this exercise, anyway. Means you win when everyone else — who didn’t show up on Friday — looks like losers.
Virgo: "Pause and reflect, pause and reflect, well, Mr. Astrofish (dot net), pause and reflect on this!" Sounds a lot like an irritable Virgo. I’d use a cooing tone in my voice but that would only serve to irritate the already irritable Virgo even more. What’s worse, if I tried to act like I was making an attempt to soothe a situation, then I’d be interpreted as a further irritant.
Saturn is backwards but just about everything else is forwards, and we’re finally getting some kind of a break, in a number of areas. One of those areas where we’re not getting any kind of relief, though? That would be in the "pissing me off" area. Virgo area of being irritable.
Sometimes big, sometimes little, but the hot items are there. In plain sight. Some people, not a Virgo, would suggest that an issue so plainly laid out deserves attention which, if you look at it, is part of the problem because some of these "plainly laid out" issues don’t warrant the attention they are getting. Hence the irritable nature of Virgo. The best way to keep from saying — or doing — something you might regret later? Pause and reflect.
Libra: Since I haven’t won a lottery, I’ve found that time and money are limited commodities. Since I don’t really see a Libra lucky streak in the next few days, or even in the next few weeks, I’d suggest you follow my example, and consider working. Consider, too, that I wasn’t very busy last week, last month. And here it is, the beginning of the new year and suddenly I’m Mr. Popular.
I don’t have a lot of time to just chit-chat; I don’t have much free time to just shoot the breeze. I’m not getting to fish as much as I would like, and you’re in much the same boat. Position really, as neither you nor I are going to be in a boat any time too soon. Not a bass boat, anyway, although, I do like the idea. But we’re back up against the problem of time and money, not a lot of either. Which means, for the time being, stick to business.
Scorpio: "Yes, yes, no." Repeat. "Yes, yes, no." Repeat. I’ve found that there’s a rhythm that goes with the way the planets stack up for the Scorpio sector. And it’s that "Yes, yes, no" beat. Two positive, one negative, a gain of 2 out of 3. Slow, moving forward.
One Scorpio will complain and suggest that it’s not 2/3’s, it’s only one-half because it’s 2 forward, one back, yielding an obvious gain of no more than 50 per cent. I can argue the semantic and semiotics of the situation, or the statistics, but there’s a stuttering quality to the progress being made. It’s lurching forward, maybe not as graceful as a Scorpio would desire, but it is moving in a forward direction.
There will be setbacks, too, I can promise that, but the setbacks, the little challenges along the way, they are nothing more than reminders that the progress is not without a bit of struggle. Originally, I was going to try and suggest a musical allusion, but this bet, the Scorpio music playing? It doesn’t have a regular rhythm. That might be the biggest problem of all.
Sagittarius: "Pause and reflect," it’s like a theme song for me, or something. Maybe more of the "or something" department. I would hope. I took one look at our charts, and I was glad. I’m not facing any kind of an obstacle, hurdles or any other impediment in the immediate future.
However, there is a select few of the Sagittarius who will be facing a problem. I feel your pain. I’ve been there. Stop and assess directions. Not a typical Sagittarius trait, we’re more "shoot from the hip," and worry about collateral damage, like, in another lifetime or something. But for my select few Sagittarius friends, that’s not going to work.
Me? I’m done with it. "Been there, done that," and now I’ve moved on. You can follow me by moving on, if you stop and assess your directions. You know, the usual routine at the beginning of the new calendar year? What works, what doesn’t work, what we can change, what we would like to change, but it’s out of our power to change? Need to find that work-around. Which gets back to the "pause and reflect" comment.
