Fishing Guide to the Stars
By Kramer Wetzel
(c) 2008-2009 Kramer Wetzel for astrofish.net
For the week starting: 1.15.2009
"Take with thee my most grievous curse."
Shakespeare’s Richard III (IV.iv.188)
Capricorn: I was bunked down with a buddy of mine, two beds to a suite at this motel. While I prefer to bunk alone, it was just cheaper, and besides, it was a business junket, and I didn’t anticipate any problems. I got to learn a little more about my friend than I wanted to learn, though.
Hotels provide the little in-room coffee maker. My buddy likes fresh-brewed, strong-ass coffee. I like my in-room coffee just normal, I guess. I watched in horror as he opened up the first packet of coffee filter coffee, then the second, then the decaffeinated filter package, too. That’s, by my count, three times as much coffee as necessary. That’s stronger than most espresso I tend to favor.
That’s also too much. Too much information, and that buddy, I doubt I’ll ever bunk with him again. Or, for that matter, trust his home-brew coffee. After watching the way he made hotel coffee, I’m wondering what he would do with the stuff at home, or something besides coffee. I’m all about going along for the ride, but from that point, when you see what the results will be, and if that doesn’t work for your Capricorn self? Next time? Get a room by yourself. Or, here, I’ll give you my buddy’s number, and you can check out his concoctions yourself, if you so dare.
Aquarius: There’s a concierge service that I’ve used from time to time. More as them referring me rather than me paying someone to pick up my dry cleaning, it’s just that the two of us are in service-oriented businesses, and as such, seem to run into to each other.
I got to ask a few questions, and I was looking for weird, not normal weird, but really weird. Nothing like "fill a bathtub with champagne, fill a hotel room with girls," no, not like that. Because, basically, that isn’t really weird. His story was a client who wanted every Milton Bradley board game available. "We hit, like, fifteen wal-marts, and close to a dozen Toys-R-Us, didn’t know there were so many."
Turns out, there were well over a dozen kinds of board games available. Who knew? With the current array of planet influences, I was looking for something that would properly convey the idea that this is a quest, and it’s a quest for something out of the ordinary. What it really amounted to, though, was that the real search was for a Ouija Board. If you really need one of those? I’m available, too.
Pisces: Buddy of mine, in San Antonio, he’s Irish. Not sort of Irish, but full-blooded, card-carrying, soccer-paying Irish maniac. As only the Irish can do. I admire the ethnic group called "Irish" because adversity just makes them stronger, meaner, and funnier. Although, after enough beer to drown a normal man, I can’t understand my Irish buddy, as his accent gets thicker and thicker. But that’s not what this is about, it was a few days before Xmas.
I saw my buddy, in passing, wished him a merry Xmas then asked if he had any Xmas tamales, as I had a dozen or two, in a package under one arm. It’s a South Texas tradition, the Xmas tamales. My peers talk about learning this skill at the feet of their grandmother. My peers, much like me, also go out and buy the tamales as making those little corn meal packets of lard and tasty meat nuggets is too labor intensive. Dozen pork/chicken/beef/cheese usually costs three to five dollars. My Irish buddy? He already had some. Even told me about another place to try, to get some really good ones.
Elements that don’t seem to belong to each other? Sometimes they do.
Aries: I borrowed a friend’s car, ran some errands. Wasn’t gone long, but in the spirit of Xmas, I decided to hose the little car off. I stopped at a coin-operated car wash, stuck some quarters in, and I rinsed the car off. Matter of fact, I spent five bucks on quarters before I was done, that afternoon. I looked at the gleaming car, then I hopped back inside.
When I dropped the car back with its rightful owner, she thanked me. I noticed a place where old, dry bird poop was still lingered despite my efforts with the car wash. I figure I spent more than a five bucks on that car wash, trying to do something nice, and repay a favor. I vowed to run the car to a thorough car wash the very next day. Which I did, true to my word. Car wash cost $20, but there was an army of young people scrubbing, cleaning and wiping the car down, inside and out.
Money very well-spent, left the car with the "like new" smell. And look. I discovered that there are some tasks that are best left to paid professionals. Like that car wash. I wasted five bucks of my own money, and an hour’s worth of my time. My loss is Aries gain. Next time? Run it out to a car wash and let someone do it right. Save yourself the time and trouble. Or better yet? Next time? I’ll just spend the money on gas. Think about that, too.
Taurus: I was looking at a rather haggard server. He was working the counter at a local place. This must’ve been a couple of weeks ago. I asked what his problem was, and he told me about his next New Year’s resolution: "Don’t mix Tequila and Hard Cider." Sounds like sage advice from a young man. I could’ve told him that, I think. It’s not a good idea to mix hard cider with anything, and tequila? It’s best by itself. From the looks and the listless, damaged goods attitude, I’m sure I won’t be mixing those two flavors, not me, not anytime soon.
This is about prudence. Usually, I can trust my Taurus friends to be prudent. Therein is the problem, too. While I can usually trust you to be so, usually prudent and cautious, there’s this little kick to the week as the Sun and Jupiter line up. Means you might try mixing types of alcohol or similar — not well-thought out — combinations. I’m just saying, if you imbibe, ingest, or otherwise partake, in the next few days? Be prepared for a year-long set of consequences.
Gemini: I’m not a journalist, in the sense that I report news. In that sense of the word, like a news reporter, I have no formal training and therefore, I don’t represent myself as a qualified, viable source for factual data. However, from bumping and grinding around the web, I’ve learned a few pointers about facts, and fact checking. "I read it on a website" is the lamest excuse for how to do something. Or why.
News folks like at least three independent, verified and vetted sources for factual data. Three sources, at least. I was looking up a quick point, and I find one article, on the web that answered my question. And I left it at that. Turns out, that web page, and its article? They disappeared. Gone. Or maybe I just couldn’t find it anymore. Which was too bad, as that article supported the hypothesis I was working with. But that was the only place I could find supporting and corroborating evidence. Which, really, in the final analysis, that much isn’t enough. I need a little more support.
Likewise, my fine Gemini friend, you need more evidence. One web page that supports your cause? One page that points to you being right? Is that enough? And is that web page, alone, enough evidence to support your point? "I read it on a web page — it must be true." Mercury is backwards, how sure can you be?
Cancer: We had this cold snap, sort of shuttered me inside. For almost a week. I didn’t like it very much. I got to sorting through a bin of fishing gear, and then, I would look longingly outside, and see the sun, bright and shiny, and then, look at the temperature reading, and then, look at the wind direction and speed. Mostly speed. Wind gusts over 20 knots? And temperature seemed to hover around freezing? I’ll stay inside.
I hate to be a wimp, but I’m over that "battling with the elements" slice of life. Not going to brace the freezing wind for a chance to stand at the edge of lake and freeze my ass off. There’s my suggestion. Straight up: consider an indoor activity rather than braving the bracing winds of January. It’s less about not confronting an issue, and it’s more about just avoiding the issue altogether.
Some points are worth the fight. Some points, though, just how enjoyable is it for me to sit outside in freezing weather? It isn’t. So this was a good time to sort through some fishing gear, anyway. Less about the weather, and more about imagining better times.
Leo: Close your (Leo) eyes. Keep them shut for a moment. Imagine something big and wonderful, some event you want to transpire. Some sort of action you’d like to see happen. New Year’s all but a distant memory. Resolutions should be a forgotten and discarded item by now.
Instead of that laundry list you started with, the point by point plan to conquer and rule the world? Or to conquer and rule Leo Land, at least? I’d just like to give you a chance to pick one item, one thing, one possible event, one likely outcome that you would like. Not the whole list, just one. Not a huge one, but a big enough one that it matters to your Leo self.
Be a little selfish with this list, "World Peace," that’s too generic. Pick one item, and let’s close our eyes and see it happening. There’s a weird influence, it’s all about Jupiter, Mars and the Sun, and the alignment that will occur in Aquarius.
Virgo: Traditional astrology is fine for some. I tend to expand on certain themes, and what I was looking at had to do with a surfeit of energy. I was considering that the extra energy was useful, if it was properly directed. That’s what this really should be about. It’s about how spend what you’ve got and how to spend it in a wise manner.
When I hear the term "resources," I tend to think of fixed, or fluid, but tangible items. Like coins, money, gold, minerals and so forth. Land, that’s a resource, right? I don’t think about energy as a resource, not my personal energy. But that’s what this is all about, how you spend your personal time, the good energy that you feel at this moment.
There’s a relative paucity of fixed assets (i.e., money), but there’s a certain abundance of good drive. The point is to give it direction. It’s about managing resources, but I don’t mean traditional resources, no, more like how you spend what you’ve got.
Libra: There’s a ticklish point, fast approaching. All I can suggest is that Mars, frying along in Capricorn, that’s going to create some extra confusion. Problems? Not really. Annoying and contributing factors that can turn into problems? For sure.
How you choose to react, that’s the critical point. The first reminder is that Mercury is in apparent retrograde motion. Means you might want to listen for the problem and anticipate it, a little. Like , maybe don’t just jump when there seems to be an issue. I think some of the issues that crop up in the next few days?
I think they are really less of a big deal than you’re going to make them out to be. Less of a problem that it really seems to be. Don’t fall for the (old) management axiom, "Inside every little problem, there’s a larger problem struggling to get out."
Scorpio: I saw these on sale, around the corner from here: Mexican Calendars. Just about every taco stand, every real Mexican restaurant, and even a few "gringo" places have these calendars for sale. I’m intrigued by the artwork. Usually, there is a female in various states of dishabille, and by my reckoning, there’s about 25-35 percent occurrence of partially clad warrior, saving, sacrificing, bemoaning the fate of the fair maiden.
One in ten chance of a rooster, and probably half the calendars have a feathered headdress figured into the scene. And there’s always a Virgen de Guadalupe. Now’s the time to pick up some of this artwork. It’s fascinating, bordering on folk art, and stuck between worlds. The Virgen of Guadalupe, she’s nominally Roman Catholic.
The feathered headdress and such? Puro Azatlan. The colors? That’s a mixed bag. The artwork can be amazing, can be lurid, can be fetching and fascinating, or it can be just plain provocative. The point is, though, nothing to do with Mexican Calendar Art, it’s all about what you can do now, that you couldn’t do as little as a few days ago. Like those calendars? They’re on sale now. Still got a good eleven and half months left on them, too. That’s a good deal.
Sagittarius: The way I understand the tale, the original story about Pandora and her box? It wasn’t a box, it was a jar. Only, somewhere along the line, the author telling the story changed the plot device to a box, and the rest is (apocryphal) history Everyone’s heard of Pandora’s Box, and I don’t know many people outside of a few scholarly circles who’ve ever heard of Pandora’s Jar.
I do know that this week’s situation is a lot like a "Pandora’s Box," or, if you want to be absolutely true to the original creation myth, Pandora’s Jar. Open it? Not sure what will pop out. That’s part of the point, too. Mistakes, real and imagined, problems, real and imagined, and the way our Sagittarius selves are not sure about what we’re opening up. Some days, like that jar, or box, ignorance is bliss. Could be a good time to leave it shut.