Fishing Guide to the Stars
By Kramer Wetzel
(c) 2008-2009 Kramer Wetzel for astrofish.net
For the week starting: 1.8.2009

    "With the help of a surgeon he might yet recover, and prove an ass."
    Theseus in Shakespeare’s A Midsummer Night’s Dream (V.i.303)

Theseus is referring, of course, to Bottom who is playing in a play (which is inside a play).
Perfect play for Mercury being backwards (Pyramis and Thisbee in Midsummer’s Night).

    bclCapricorn: "How do you deal with a Capricorn?" I was minding my own business, for a change, and the girl behind the counter asked me that. Further elucidation was that the Capricorn in question? Being a bit difficult. Always had something nasty to say. Foul of temper. Mean of mouth. Tight with money, too.

    Sounds normal, at least, to me it does. Get a Capricorn on a bad day? Yeah, could be like that. My suggestion? Clip this out and hand to anyone you have to deal with in the next few days, but my suggestion?

    Despite the apparently gruff exterior of the Capricorn, there’s a little, soft, cuddly — and sensitive — person there. Don’t come down on that Capricorn too hard. Now, the chances of someone listening to my advice on how to deal with a Capricorn? Not very good. Unless, like I suggested, you cut this out and hand it over.

    Since we don’t see that happening enough, maybe if you stop and realize that your jokes, jibes and asides? Maybe those don’t get properly dealt with, and perchance, my darling Capricorn, the other folk find you a tad grumpy. Appearing. I realize that it’s irony and sarcasm. You know that. But the other people? I doubt it. Oh well, after reading this, you know you can chalk it up to Mercury.


    bclAquarius: I got it, a great analogy. See, where I live, it just doesn’t get very cold in the winter. Every once in a while, we’ll get freezing temperatures for more than a few days, but not all that often. About every third year or so, there’s a chance of freezing rain and snow, but not every year. Which is why, when I was walking in the historical section, I was marveling at the fireplaces the old, hundred-year-old homes had.

    Several manses with two — or more — real, working at one time, chimneys. I can’t see that this is a real issue though, other than as a holdover from a nostalgic era. The fireplaces are next to worthless about 11 months out of the year, and some years? Only useful if the AC is blowing cold.

    However, I’m sure, back in the good old days, these fireplaces were useful for warming the home or something. Maybe for roasting huge sides of beef. Who knows? Think about a fireplace. Think about how it requires fuel to burn. Think about how the fuel, firewood, has to be cut, gathered, stacked, and saved for the winter months. It is now the winter months. You did have some firewood saved up, didn’t you? I mentioned this earlier, didn’t I?

The weekly video is here.

    bclPisces: The new year has started and the silly season is upon us. Mercury is backwards, and there isn’t a lot that can be done to save you at this time. Not that you really need saving, either.

    Point: Mercury is Retrograde.
    Point: Mercury is in Aquarius.
    Point: Venus is in Pisces.
    Point: you’re a Pisces.

    Like I’ve suggested, it all points to the silly season being upon us. Outlandish goals, declarations of "true love," and all other manners of silliness? Watch it. If it’s not you making the declarations, perhaps someone is foisting this upon your gentle Pisces nature. And that’s the problem between the two inner planets, Venus and Mercury, there’s a little bit of confusion.

    I’d take all of this information and treat this like it was the beginning of what will be a long and tortured silly season. Never underestimate the lack of common sense in other people, other signs. Which is no excuse for this to affect you, but it probably will.

    "You did what?"


    bclAries: One part about corporations that I never understood? One of the things that I never quite grasped, just as a concept? The fiscal year. "Our fiscal year ends in June." I don’t understand that. My fiscal year, my end of the year, and the new year holiday, all coincide

    I doubt I could get away with telling my tax man that I concluded my fiscal year in June, or July, or November, or whenever. I’m sure that the tax guy still wants to see my records for the whole year, and I’m sure that what I owe is predicated on what income actually came in during said calendar year. I’m not going to get away with any kind of fancy finagling to get out of taxes.

    If I were a giant corporation with an army of tax advisors, I might get away with fewer taxes. But that gain in less taxes is lost on the army of accountants and lawyers. What’s the point? Which is the question you must ask yourself. About taxes? No, that’s not the point, the planetary point is about cost. As in, "At what cost," like, what does it cost to pay all those lawyers and tax guys, just to save a few dollars in taxes? I doubt it’s fiscal, and I doubt it’s taxes, but weigh out a decision, and think about the cost versus the benefit. Sometimes, it’s just easier to pay up.

    bclTaurus: There’s one version of Shakespeare’s A Midsummer’s Night Dream that’s been floating around for close to ten years, in fact, I think I’ve got it on DVD. I tend to not buy too many movies on DVD but I did like that one version. It was everything a good stage version was, and with the added effects of movie-Hollywood make-believe? Just the right touch of fantasy.

    Part of that movie version’s success was the classically trained actors. Always a benefit. But then, there’s also an element of willing suspension of disbelief, and mix in the fantasy itself. A little myth, a little magic, and it’s all entertainment.

    We’re in the middle of a long, cold winter here. A midsummer movie is what’s in order. There’s a certain amount of Taurus merry-making that needs to occur. I’m not suggesting a long vacation, a short trip to a summer-like fantasy land is in order. Or a winter wonderland, I mean whatever works for your Taurus self. Personally, a good vacation? Like that movie, just about two hours, five acts, everyone lives happily ever after. Perfect cure for the Mercury missteps.

    Or, as Puck would say?

    "If we shadows have offended, think but this and all is mended." (&c.)


    bclGemini: The worst part about the New Year’s tradition of resolutions is the way the promises get broken. It’s not so much promises to other people, other than the "other people" might refer to different aspects of the Gemini personalities. This Mercurial period is about breaking promises to yourself. Which, to some, is really worse than going back on your word to someone else because, as a Gemini, you made one — or more — of those "This is the year I will (blah blah blah)." And those promises are already crumbling.

    Your great ideas, hopes, aspirations and dreams, wishes even, for the coming year? Dashed. Crushed. Smashed to smithereens already. Regulated to the recycle heap like so many leftover decorations. And what’s worse? You broke a promise to yourself.

    Very few of my fine Gemini friends are standing by what they started with. Very few of them are sticking to their original plans. However, I’d like to suggest an alternative, can we, say, in about three weeks, come back and revisit those goals, ideas and aspirations? Don’t just throw out the whole idea because you’ve had a momentary lapse in good judgment. Do like me, you can blame Mercury instead of yourself. Let’s make a vow to revisit this in a couple of weeks.

    bclCancer: I will promise you, in the next week, someone will royally piss you off. I don’t mean a slight snide comment. I don’t mean an accidental, "Oops didn’t see you" mistake. No, I’m talking about the kind of pissed off the likes of which most people have never seen within you. And we probably don’t want to see, too. It’s not all bad, or, to a certain extent, it is all bad.

    I’m not the one getting bent out of shape, enraged, engorged with anger. It’s not me. It might not happen, too. But my wager, if I were to bet on this, is that someone will, in the next seven to ten days, really, really, royally, piss you off. Now that you have a clear image of what I’m describing, an irate energy directed at someone — or something — who — or what — is at cross purposes with your Cancer self?

    Consider Mercury being backwards, and consider that there’s a really good chance that the root problem isn’t what it appears to be. Your enemy, in the next week — maybe ten days? Even though you’re good and steamed? Keep a tight rein on that Cancer ire. Or keep a tight reign on the royally pissed off stuff. There is a time to explode. I’m just saying that now isn’t the time.


    bclLeo: I opened a cupboard and a coffee mug tumbled out. Smashed to itty-bitty pieces on the hard floor. I remember where that mug came from, a special, almost sentimental value to the cup, a small coffee shop in the Hill Country, an independent place with mugs that were hand-fired so no two were exactly alike. I liked that one mug because it was smaller than the rest, more along the lines of an espresso cup. Didn’t know I had a sentimental side, did you?

    This isn’t about sentimental, though, and after all, it was only a coffee mug, and I’ve already received my use from its dollar value. Sentimental value can’t be replaced, but that’s not what this is about. That Mercury situation, it’s just like that coffee mug falling out of my cabinet. Time to get rid of something. I prefer to think of it as the objects themselves adhering to some kind of natural selection process. However, I do listen when that happens. Or pay attention. It just means that I had too many coffee cups in the first place. Needed a volunteer. Got one, too, as it leapt out of the cabinet.

    bclVirgo: One Virgo I know, client, really, she’s highly amusing when Mercury is backwards. She refuses to do anything. Won’t pay bills, won’t make calls, won’t answer e-mails, won’t send me money she owes me. However, I knew this before we had a transaction, and it’s just one Virgo. Not all of them are quite that serious when paying attention to astrology indications. Besides, this is only one tiny planet, Mercury, and the rest of the material for Virgo is kind of good.

    "Kind of good? That’s it? Probably means it sucks! Oh, why do you hate Virgo so much?" Well. Actually. Really.

    No, I mean, what I mean is there’s a kind of influence, a good one at that, working its way around the chart. It’s not in full force yet, but there’s going to be a hint, a possibility, something, perhaps an accidental discovery? Maybe one of your miscues works into a new idea? Maybe you do something that surprises you with unlimited possibilities? There’s some middle ground here, too.

    Between the unlimited possibilities from Mercury-inspired mistakes to the "do nothing at all" attitude, some place in between, there’s safe haven for Virgo. Won’t last long, but between the two extremes? I’m sure you can find a little bit of peace.


    bclLibra: First of the new year, Mercury is backwards, and what we can agree upon, together, you and me? Let’s agree that we don’t agree about a few things. There’s going to be a difference of opinion. Not that this is bad, or problematic, just different.

    It’s perfectly all right to express your opinion. It’s well within your rights to state your case. It’s good to let us (non-Libra) people know where your Libra self stands. This can be a personal issue, a work issue, a political issue, ethical, moral, whatever kind of issue. I tend to see this as a more personal kind of point. Now, you know that when Mercury is backwards, communications get all fouled up. Can’t fix that.

    What you can do is plainly state the problem, address the issue — as your Libra self sees it at that time — and then move on to the next topic. Stubbornly refuse to move after you’ve made your point? Doesn’t become you. Besides, with Mercury backwards, the problem I see is that you don’t see the whole problem. I am not, in the least, inferring that you’re wrong, misguided or pigheaded. But if you stubbornly refuse to move after you’ve made your position clear? You could appear that way.

    bclScorpio: I think I’ve still got the tracks I worked with, and I had the original albums (12-inch vinyl) then the cassettes and finally, the CDs. So I’m sure I purchased at least one of those tracks three times over before I tried it. I was working on a mash-up, layering alternating tracks of music together. DJ Kramer style. Only, I found out just how hard it was to sync the tracks, master the mix and spit it out so that it was good quality creation. I’d found some on a DJ’s website, mash-up music, and some of it was pretty entertaining. But that DJ was using lyrical references I could grasp. Enjoy, even. Made the results very entertaining.

    While I have the technical grasp, the little software that can mix musical tracks, right here, in my hands, and while I get the fundamental understanding of the process, my results? My efforts, after several hours, were, at best, amusing. I liked what I was doing, but it was also rather labor-intensive. More work than I realized. Which made the other combinations I listened to that much more entertaining. I could see how a lot of effort went into combining, coaxing the pitch to land at just the right place. Getting beats to match. Hard work. More work than I was really prepared to do. I didn’t see it through to a final compilation. Mash-up, sort of a gray area for copyrights, I’m sure, is what your week is like.

    Now, if you spend enough time on this project, it might be a big hit. Mine? Yeah, well, I’m not a Scorpio, and I obviously didn’t work on it enough.


    bclSagittarius: There is a very simple way to get by. I tend to write for a week at a time, but this might apply for the next couple of weeks. I’m not sure. Check back next week, and I’ll see if I’ve changed my mind. It’s a matter of just getting out of the way. Not so much getting out of the way, but not getting in the way.

    Side-stepping issues. Avoiding confrontations. Slipping out the side (exit) door when no one is looking.

    I stopped by to see a particular retail merchant I know, and there was a hand-lettered sign in her store’s window, "Back at 4." Door was locked. Not much of an explanation, but then, some days, not much is needed. I was obviously working on this before Xmas so she was missing a possible Xmas sale. But I also doubt that I would count as much. And as a a fellow Sagittarius or a Sagittarius Sister-in-Arms, that little note sticky-taped to the front door of her store? Good idea. A wise move for Sagittarius at this point, Duck out, head out, light out, just get out, out of what? Out of the way.

About the author: Born and raised in a small town in East Texas, Kramer Wetzel spent years honing his craft in a trailer park in South Austin. He hates writing about himself in third person. More at KramerWetzel.com.

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© 1993 – 2022 Kramer Wetzel, for astrofish.net &c.

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