Fishing Guide to the Stars
By Kramer Wetzel
(c) 2008-2009 Kramer Wetzel for astrofish.net
For the week starting: 2/12/2009

    "Doubt thou, the Starres are fire,
    Doubt, that the Sunne doth moue:
    Doubt Truth to be a Lier,
    But neuer Doubt, I loue."
    Shakespeare’s Hamlet, Act 2, scene ii — original form.

Valentine’s Day. No doubt.

bcl Aquarius: It’s a poignant scene, a guy looking at a lottery ticket. An Aquarius looking at a lottery ticket. All six of the six numbers line up. Worth millions. Ticket to everything you want to buy. What do you do? I had this framed as first-person movie short, that lottery ticket. All the numbers, for Aquarius.

You’re rich, rich beyond your wildest dreams. What do you do? In that little short movie, I saw the guy look at the winning ticket, then slowly tear it up. I said this was a short movie, not real life. However, give it some thought, winning the lottery, trying to buy happiness? Can it be done? I’m not suggesting that you really win the lottery, or that you tear that ticket up.

I’d like a measly 1% for predicting the win. Not a tithe, like the Church, they get 10%. Nope, just a much smaller fraction. But I do think that, when faced with either money or happiness? Maybe the way an Aquarius should err is on the happiness side of that question. Leave the money question to other, less happy signs these days.

on tv

bcl Pisces: I hate to be the one who ruins it all for Pisces, and I’ve been accused of that very sentiment before. Not the way it is, tough. See, your birthday is almost upon us. Should be a good time Should be fun, should be a lot of good things happening. Only, I’d be doing you a disservice if I promised that right now. Not happening. Not going to happen.

Just slow down, chill out and take it easy. Mars is the player I’m looking at, and Mars is lurking along in the sign that comes before the beautiful, gentle, sweet and delicate Pisces person. So just take it easy. I know, I know, birthdays and parties and so forth? As long as Mars is lurking in Aquarius? Just take it a little easier than you usually do.

Mr. Mars might push and hasten some of your own birthday expectations, like, someone would notice? I tell you what, this is a good year to lower your expectations, maybe skip them altogether, and what? Thank me later. I’m guessing you wind up with a number of those "I’m sorry I forgot your birthday" cards.

bcl Aries: I never did doubt that Aries would survive and thrive.

That wasn’t a question.

But to some folks, let’s say, Aries detractors?

Those folks are going to be surprised that you’re doing so well. Hang in there, you’re special.

bcl Taurus: There’s a motel around the corner from where I live. To say that the motel itself has seen better days is a bit of an understatement. Before its demise, it was down to renting by the week. I passed by the other evening, on my way back from some business, and I noted that there was the scary chain-link fence up around that motel’s grounds.

Due for demolition in the near future, or maybe, a total revamp, but in keeping with local flavor, I’d bet on demolition. Tear down a perfectly useful, if outdated, motor court and replace it with a high rise. But this isn’t about replacement value versus redo, it’s about a simple image from the front of that derelict motel.

The sign, one of those with replaceable letters? The marquee? It was down to three letter. Used to read, "By the week," and now? Just "EEK." One motel’s stationary said, "For a day or a lifetime." That place around the corner from me? Not a lifetime anymore. In Taurus, I’ve got to wonder, too, if this is a permanent structure that’s being torn down? Eek? Or is our Taurus going to take something old, freshen it up and make it better?


bcl Gemini: I passed a long line of "power bars" in a local grocery store. The local chains are starting to really be more aware about marketing "organic" and socially conscious foods. Step in the right direction. I picked a up a candy bar — power bar — marked "Think Organic!"

I looked at the fine print. Hydrogenated oils and high-fructose corn syrup. While, in the strictest sense, that is material that originated from farm products, there should be two warnings, and neither warning is good. Both those items are probable culprits in the processed food chain, and both are probable areas of concern. And therefore, there’s nothing "organic," at least, not in the way it was intended. Then too, as a Gemini, you’re probably aware that "organic chemistry" is about carbon rings and perhaps the least "organic" in the marketing sense, of the sciences. For my medical clients — would-be medical students — "organic chem" was the most difficult of the classes.

As a Gemini, none of this is daunting. However, there’s still the issue that maybe, like me and that food marked "Think Organic?" Pause long enough to examine the details instead of just believing the marketing hype.

bclCancer: I was in line at the post office. I recognized the guy behind the counter. I’ve exchanged pleasant comments with him a time or two. "I thought you were married." "Used to be" "Now, I am, and you’re not." Just an exchange of information. None of it was critical. Just stuff. But a lot of information was conveyed in that short amount of time. Whole books can address his issues, the points, the fine points, the general overview, and what really transpired.

Then, too, there’s the (non-sexual) bond between males. The understanding. The way whole paragraphs’, even novels’, worth of information can be packed into a few lines. All by what passed in the form a few, terse comments. But this is guy talk. It isn’t normal, human communication, besides, I might never see that post office employee again in my life. But it didn’t stop a moment’s of compassion, at the time.

I think that’s what this is really about, that moment of compassion. Might be someone you never see, ever again. Might be a co-worker, compatriot, or similar brothers-in-arms. Might be a passing moment. Pick and choose compassion, if only for a moment, and even if, only, like, in a guy way.

bcl Leo: The ability to absorb — and then discard — data is a vital quality. The problem with being a Leo? You’ll absorb and then forget to discard. That means you keep holding onto stuff you need to unload. Useless data. Unimportant and sometimes insignificant information. Material that you’ll agree, stuff that needs to be clipped and tossed.

If you were editing someone else, you wouldn’t hesitate to suggest that it get thrown away. However, this isn’t about what you’re doing for someone else, this about Leo looking out for Leo. And it’s less about material possessions and more about information. Can be data that is contained in some notebooks, or on disk, or in a computer’s memory. However, as I was twiddling with your Leo chart, I kept thinking about thoughts.

Sometimes it’s just tidbits of information ticked away in your brian. Absorb and then discard. That’s what this is all about. Absorb the information that is useful and needed. Then discard the parts you don’t need any longer. Absorb and then discard.


bcl Virgo: It’s a strange sight, a couple of adolescent male bass, guarding a nest. I don’t know if they really are adolescent or not, but I’m guessing, in the creek’s clear channel water, that’s what they were, looked to be between fifteen and twenty inches long, Maybe not quite twenty inches, but close. One was bigger, and this seems like it’s a little early to be thinking about Bass and Spawning Season. But in South Texas, it’s not unheard of.

Look, this a lot like the spawning season for Bass, and you’re like a guy bass. The guys do all the work: they males sweep out an area in clear, shallow water for the eggs to be deposited, then the guys guard the nest, and then, when the little fellers are born, up to 4,000 (or more) in a single hatch, the guys are effective parents for a few days. Unlike any place else in nature, the males do all the work. Except lay the eggs, but even then, the guys are used to help that process, too.

This isn’t about the reproductive cycle of Black Bass in area lakes, though, this is about doing all the hard work and not getting any credit. No sooner do you settle down on a next to guard those eggs and some fisher person comes along to taunt you. Are you going to take the bait?

bcl Libra: According to the ancient oracle, the old Greek way of doing this, you have a venerated elder spokesman, like a state elder, who is out to get you. In fact, it is a secret that this person is out to undermine the good will and gentle graces of Libra. So much for the old-fashioned way of doing this.

At the very least, I did repeat what an ancient oracle would’ve said at this time. Let’s get a little more current, though and this has a lot to do with supervisors, bosses, employers, or "guys who write/sign the check" around here. More like that they are in a bad mood this week, this weekend, on into next week. Only stays that way for a week, maybe ten days max, but from this date until then, you’re dealing with at least one such person.

In traditional astrology, it’s supposed to be an older male figure. However, I tend to see it as a gentle authority who might — or might not be — a little brusque and harsh this next few days. Worry about it? Why? Whatever can you do? The best course of Libra action is to not get flustered or let your feelings get hurt by some criticism that seems a little out of place. It will blow over in a few days. Don’t get your delicate little Libra feathers ruffled, it will all smooth over soon enough.

bcl Scorpio: One of the tricks to backing up a trailer, or boat on a trailer, or trailer that’s going to have a boat on it, one of the little tricks is to use the mirrors. "The mirrors are on a boat?" No, the the mirrors on the truck. This isn’t really an issue with most of the trucks I deal with as they rarely have a camper shell on their beds. But every once in a while, there will be a difference.

Maybe it’s a load of stuff in the truck, maybe it’s like a horse trailer that’s taller than a boat trailer, maybe it’s, like, a utility trailer. So my friends who are accustomed to turning around and navigating the truck while backing up? That means they are in a problem zone. I’ll agree that turning around while backing up is the best way to do it, but then, there will come a time, when you have to be able to use the mirrors in order to navigate.

It’s important to be able to do it both ways. I’m not saying you’re backing a camper into the lake to load a boat, no, that’s not the message, but if you’re like me, used to using the mirrors? Consider turning around to see where you’re going. Or, if you’re like me, and used to turning around? Try the mirrors, first.


bcl Sagittarius: In keeping with the web-based theme of "national write a novel month," and "record an album month," this is the time when I’m opening up the scopes — especially my own, dear Sagittarius, and it’s an invitation to write your own scope.

Instead of writing a novel (50-100K words), instead of recording an album (10 songs or 35-50 minutes of original music), all I’m asking from Sagittarius is a short, say, 200 words excerpt for the next month. For February. Four short weeks. That’s only about 800 words. Maybe a thousand, as Sagittarius, we’re a little long winded.

Couple of pitfalls to avoid: no mention of foreign travel, or even travel in general, no mention of long-lost loves, old flame, no mention of new flame, either. No mention of boss or work. Can’t promise love-money-happiness, unless, of course, it’s indicated. Easy as can be, right? So get after it. There’s a chance to write your own horoscope and email it to me. Two points that must be avoided: silly horoscope tropes and sad country/western songs. Both sound the same. So get after, you get to choose.

    "I don’t know why I bother, it’s been a rough week, and now, you won’t give me anything to work with. It’s just that money is tight right now, I still have a job, but we’re getting by on less and less each week or so it seems and the price of gas keeps going up, it was down last week, but still, I hope you’re happy about that Mr. ‘I live in Texas,’ and besides, it’s just not getting any better. How about something hopeful? How about saying ‘You’ll win the lottery’ this week? Maybe that’s what I’ll write, I’ll win the lottery. Then I can send you some money. But I’m not sure I would since I should charge you for writing this horoscope."

See how easy it is? Just need a few more to fill out the next few weeks.

bcl Capricorn: I borrowed a girlfriend’s car the other afternoon. Cold winter’s day in South Texas. I had to go down to the big super sporting goods store and pick up some fishing supplies, and that little car made it a lot easier. Just meant that I had to top off the tank with gas, and then pick up my friend when she got off work. I’m used to the mean streets of downtown, at rush hour, even, on foot. As a pedestrian, I know my way around pretty well. But driving? I get a little more timid.

I was stopped, at a red light, and I was calling one last client, while I waited on traffic. It was very close to five PM. Phone to my ear as I tried to edge around the corner, peek and see if it was safe to take a right turn on red after a stop. The guy behind me was impatient. Several less delicate monikers come to mind. He couldn’t see the incoming traffic, so he had no way of knowing if it was clear. Or not. And I was on the phone, and I was lawfully stopped a red light. And he was in a hurry. His problem, no? He honked at me.

I left my phone message, peered again in the twilight, and turned. Slowly. He roared around the corner, pulled up alongside, then slowed for the next traffic light. We pulled up abreast of each other, me, him, and a cop. Rude doesn’t pay, just serves to irritate others. And getting in a hurry? That doesn’t pay, either. Finally, planning to kick some stupid driver’s butt? Like me? That is false bravado when there’s a cop next to you. Maybe try and be more like me, a little timid. Works better.

About the author: Born and raised in a small town in East Texas, Kramer Wetzel spent years honing his craft in trailer park in South Austin. He hates writing about himself in third person. More at KramerWetzel.com.

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© 1993 – 2021 Kramer Wetzel, for astrofish.net &c.

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