Fishing Guide to the Stars
By Kramer Wetzel
(c) 2008-2009 Kramer Wetzel for astrofish.net
For the week starting: 3/12/2009
"God made him, and therefore let him pass for a man."
Portia in Shakespeare’s The Merchant of Venice {I.ii.52-3}
Pisces: Once I get south of Interstate 10, I have this personal feeling that the hotels all turn into motels, and I feel like the places are all cheap, damp, dank, dark, and a little musty. I don’t have any evidence to the contrary, and from that I can make this observation. I realize that this born out mostly by my personal observations, and one might expect, I tend to prefer seedier establishments due to my pecuniary nature.
South of Interstate Ten? It’s coastal prairie or just coast, and I was thinking about this while I was in just such a motel, along the coast. There’s an ever-present aroma, a faint smell, except, at that one place it was pretty strong, but there’s always the hint of wet carpet. Could be a function of time, placement, proximity to swimming pools and and beaches, or just out-dated plumbing. Doesn’t much matter.
Drain was slow, in the shower. The ceiling over the shower was peeling in a corner. Part of this, though, is about hotels in a warm, damp environment, regardless of the season. Part of this is also about perceptions, and how my perception is colored in a direction. Careful, my little Pisces friend, as you tend to let yourself be coerced, manipulated, pushed, shoved, or gently nudged in one direction with one belief — or observation. And it might not be true. Evidence to the contrary, notwithstanding.
ASTROFISH.NET: From the Land of 1100 Springs
Aries: A couple of years ago, a nice girlfriend gave me a beautiful Hawaiian (print) shirt. At first, I wouldn’t wear the shirt, since it was gift, and it was so nice, I mean this is one of those shirts that defies description, a really pretty print. But after a few years, despite its sentimental appeal, I liked that girl, I realized that shirts are meant to be worn. Besides, sitting on a hanger in my closet?
What’s up with that?
It’s much nicer to have someone ask where I got the shirt, and then the story about the nice girlfriend who obviously has better taste than me, how she gave the shirt as a gift. Just a little touch like that. But wearing the shirt also means that I have to wash the shirt, and even though I’m washing it on a gentle cycle, it’s still getting washed. I’m afraid the print will fade. The memory won’t though, and I think that’s part of the point. Some objects, some items, some things in life are meant to be used rather than savored. Is it time to stop hoarding in Aries?
Taurus: "I swear, Kramer, one of these days, like, a spaceship will be overhead, a beam of light will shine down and you’ll go up in it." And? I left it with an expectant pause. "And I’ll say, ‘That figures.’ I knew you were from outer space. Or just Austin, not sure which." Sets a tone, now doesn’t it, I’m either from some distant planet, maybe an alternative reality, or I’m just from Austin. Can’t tell for sure.
I was more amused by the commentary rather than upset, but coming from a Taurus, it sounded serious. Hence the problem. Was it serious commentary? Or just a wry joke, at my expense? Me, being who I am, didn’t bother me in the least. In fact, I kind of took it as a compliment, and I’ll let it go at that. But that’s not necessarily the way it is.
I doubt that there’s gong to be an alien abduction in Taurus. Or even around Taurus, not this week. But I don’t doubt that there’s a similar feeling that I had, was it a put-down? Or was it a good-humored nudge? As far as me being swept up into an alien craft? Probably not likely. As far Taurus, getting backwards compliment like that? Probably going to happen. Thank the person.
Gemini: At some point, I’ve been at this business of writing horoscopes for a long time, but at one point, I started to correlate other horoscopes with my own. I tend to look for hopeful ways out of situation, solutions instead of just saying, "There’s a problem here." The particular was a cute Gemini with a retrograde Venus in her natal chart. Therefore, when Venus is backwards like it is now, that one person does well. Really well.
Only, the other horoscopes she was reading? Dire warnings about not undertaking any new action, for, like, the next six weeks. By that symbolism, it should be no new action this year, since if it’s not one planet, then it’s another that is exerting an untoward influence on Gemini. I doubt that will work, in the Gemini real world. The solution is the try about six different solutions. Keep in that Gemini mind, the idea that some of those efforts will not be adequately rewarded. But some of them will. Out of six tries? Three miss. One nearly hits and two are good. That’s about a 50/50 success rate and in these days and times? That’s better than average. Which is what I expect from a Gemini, no matter what the planets are doing.
Cancer: I’ve used a variety of broadband services, cable, DSL, cellular, and so forth. These days, I’m pretty much just on a cable modem, as it seems fast enough and it works well often enough. Had a few problems at first, but they’ve been good so far. There was a problem the other day, and I called tech support since nothing I was doing could punch through to a network. No inter-web stuff.
I was mildly irritated when we "power-cycled" the cable box. In plain language? Unplug the box, let it reset, cool off, time out or whatever, and then plug it back in. Power up. Everything came back. What embarrassed me, was the solution was one I could’ve done myself without having to call for help. It also got me to musing about clients, and in particular, Cancer folks.
Wouldn’t it be nice to just unplug a person for a few days? Then plug them back in, and that person would return to his — or her — original settings? Be nice, I know. I could use that on a few friends, too. Regrettably, there is no such setting on humans. Or humanoid people we encounter. Especially not this week. You can do an imaginary reset, but that doesn’t work well.
"I’m going to walk out the door, then I’m going to walk back in, and we’ll have an adult conversation about this issues, okay?"
(It was a nice try; got to say that much.)
Leo: The "Chupacabra" is a mythological beast. First reported about 1995, it’s lived in myth and imagination ever since. Just outside of Cuero, TX, a rancher claimed to have found a body of the mythical critter. Which, in turn, generated T-shirts, websites, hype, more hype, more tourist trade, international awareness of Cuero (TX), and pseudo-science out the wazoo.
As a reader of the night sky, not like I have a lot that I can say about the pseudo-science. Nope, not me. However, this isn’t really about the Cuero Chupacabra, which, after two DNA tests, it turned out the carcass was a hairless coyote, no, none of that matters. I liked the way someone built it into a frenzy, an example of the power of myth-making. One theory holds that the real creature is Space Alien Vampire. I would wonder why those aliens travel this far just to have goats, but that’s me. I can suggest that cabrito is good stuff. Myths, and the stories we tell ourselves, all of this is important to Leo. However, despite sporadic eyewitness accounts, I’d also be aware of what is clearly myth, the land of make believe, and what’s real.
Virgo: The beginning of the year, I’m usually rather busy at first, then the business drops off. I’m also — apparently — allergic to something in the air in the middle of the winter. Near as I can tell, and I’ve traced this back through my travels, we used to get this thing called "valley fever," when I lived in, well, they called themselves the "The Valley of the Sun." Alternately, I’ve heard it called "cedar fever," but it’s much the same thing to me.
When a certain airborne pollen reaches a particular saturation point, besides sniffles and such, my body reacts as if it were fighting a flu. Not always pleasant, it’s like being sick, only not really sick. Physical health, not mental health, this isn’t about whether I’m mentally stable. I found one kind of OTC pill that worked pretty well. Until I read the warning label. That scared me since the label inferred that the medicine might make me sleepy, drowsy, or it might make me hyper-active.
Sleepy or excited? To me, it’s the far ends of the spectrum, but what do I know? I was just looking for the February relief, over-the-counter style. I’m not on any other medication, and every winter, about this time, I need something. So I didn’t think it was a big deal. I just never read the warnings, and I didn’t know I was endangering my mental health. I’d suggest that you do what you’ve always done, and I’d suggest, like me, you can read those labels for entertainment, but I wouldn’t take the warning – wouldn’t take the warning too serious.
Libra: The question? "Do these jeans make me look fat?" The answer? There isn’t one. If I say, "Of course not," the I’m lying. And if I say, "Of course," then I must be lying too, and insensitive to woman at certain time in her life-cycle. Most guys groan. No right answer. It has been suggested to me that there are several right answers. I gave up on trying, though. "Does this look all right on me?"
Imagine a Libra asking that question. Imagine a female Libra asking me that question. Consider the source. Consider that I’m doing my best to color-coordinate black t-shirt with black shorts, and that’s about as far as I can go. Maybe asking me about a fashion question isn’t such a good idea. However, given that Venus is backwards, opposite you, asking for help in some manner isn’t such a bad idea. Only, consider who you’re asking for what. Asking me for fashion advice? Not such a good idea. Ask me for astrological advice, I’m good with that.
More so than ever, though, this is a good time to make sure your Libra self consults with outside assistance before doing something you might regret. At least, you can return the item, can’t you?
Scorpio: I passed this one sign, a street sign, a one-way street sign, several days in a row. I was walking and my direction, every time I came upon the fallen indicator? I was going against traffic. With earbuds and sunglasses, I’m sure I looked like everyone else. That’s not what the issue is. The city, or whatever municipal arm that is responsible for signs? I’m sure they should get right out there and fix that sign. Maybe they haven’t been alerted. I should put them on notice. Except, to me, it was a very fetching image.
I tried to take the picture a couple of times, but there are limits to what I can do with a phone-cam, or even my regular point-and-click devices. The image was seared into my mind. Cloudy day, rainy day, sunny day, winter day, summer-like day. This was just, like, last week. I got home, and started thinking about a fallen one-way sign and Scorpio.
If there isn’t a sign there to show that the street is one-way, does that mean you don’t have to obey the law? Sticky question. I’m no lawyer, but I could play one on-screen, however, I would suggest that it’s still illegal to go the wrong way on that one-way street, even if there is no sign right in front of you. Much as you would like to bend the rules, or say there are extenuating circumstances, it’s still against the rules. And common sense would suggest you don’t really want to head the wrong way, even if there is no sign.
Sagittarius: One of the methods I use for dealing with known obstacles is fishing. No, wait, I’m going some place with this. Follow the idea, I’ve got a sticky problem, an issue, some hardware in life that isn’t cooperating, or even operating the way it should. Could be a client, a computer, or a girlfriend. Could be any number of obstacles that we all face. And here it is, the recurrent problem, back in front of our Sagittarius selves again.
What to do.
I figure it’s time to grab a pole and bucket of some bait, or just a tackle box with a few, choice lures, and head on down to the lakeshore. I’ll forget about the problem for a little while. I’ll let the problem seethe, and bubble, and toil and trouble, around in my brain while I’m actively looking at the water, judging the conditions, seeing if I can fool one more fish, just this time. I’ll pay attention to water and cover, weather, location, precipitation, all of the factors, and I’ll do a little guessing about what’s going to attract fish.
Forget the problem for the time being. Then, when I’m packing up, tired and sunburned, I’ll think about the problem, and I’ll come up with an alternative solution to whatever the issue was. Actively not thinking about the problem, that’s the secret.
Capricorn: "There’s humor, then there’s ‘Kramer’s Humor,’ just smile and nod like you understand." I was in a small group, and we were conversing. I’d made one of my oblique, and to me uniquely humorous, comments. I was met with the "deaf and dumb" look. I’m used to it. I’ve wrought puns in three languages, crossed borders between profound and profane in a single breath, and — unbeknownst to me — offended whole nations. All before breakfast, too.
So the comment, its roll of the eyes, and the way the conversation flowed right around my little verbal miscue? None of that bothered me. But I’m not a Capricorn. You’re going to drop one in the middle of the conversation. Like me, a funny one. And like me, no one around you will see the humor, ironic and satiric points. Belabor the point? Stress the humor? Try and explain the multifaceted points? No.
Sometimes, like me, it’s just easier that we be quietly amused by ourselves. Pity the fools who don’t get it. Don’t try and hammer the point home. No need to belabor the point of the barbed joke. No reason to get carried away trying to show how the humor worked on several levels. No, they missed it.
Aquarius: "You know, you speed up in the fog." An Aquarius explained it to me. I don’t know how true it was, but I’ve watched, over the years, and I can see how it feels like it’s true. Which doesn’t make it a fact, just a casual observation about driving. But it stands to reason, when, in a fog, we speed up a little, try pushing the limits on the speed limit to get out of the fog faster. Which only stand to reason, since it’s probably what I do.
Next time I’m driving in fog, I’ll try slowing down more, and we do get fog around here.
I tend to see the "clouds on the ground" when I’m headed out to the lake before sun up. But then, that could just be me, at that early hour.
Do you speed up in a foggy situation? I don’t know, I’ve never conducted serious, double-blind studies to verify — or debunk — this information. Probably not going to happen. Think about the supposition, our little hypothesis, and think about that in Aquarius land. Are you interpreting a common myth as straight up fact?
