Fishing Guide to the Stars
By Kramer Wetzel
(c) 2008-2009 Kramer Wetzel for astrofish.net
For the week starting: 3.19.2009

    "He that depends
    Upon your favors swims with fins of lead
    And hews down oaks with rushes."
    Shakespeare’s Coriolanus (I.i.174-6)

"As seen on TV" — again. The Program is "Wife Swap" on ABC, the tentative air date is April 24, at 7 PM. See local listings for details.

bcl Pisces: There’s stoplight, not far from where I live, and the sign under the stoplight, it’s a left-hand turn lane, the sign says, "No left turn on red." I never did get that. I thought that was the law, the rules of the road, the instruction set, as observed by all. Apparently not, or why would the city be required to put up a sign that stated what should be obvious?

Red light means stop, at least, it means stop in the rule-book. Without engaging in a discussion about the various signs that the Apocalypse is upon us, I would turn my Pisces attention to what the sign says. It’s a referring to the rules of the road. Now, as a good Pisces, you tend to think of these rules as mere guidelines that you sometimes can break with impunity.

The problem is, as Aries begins to get started? While I’ll agree that you should be able to get away with ignoring the rules? The problem is that the one morning, you get in a little hurry, you sort of avoid that one rule? You go ahead and ignore the red light? There’s a cop, two cars back. And you can’t get away with the "I didn’t see the sign," because, after all, it was right there. You may not always have to follow the rules to the letter. This week? Doing so prevents problems.

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bcl Aries: I was teaching, coaching, a friend. It was all about how to handle a fishing rod, casting, some of the finer points of that. He’d seen me at work, and I made the task look easy. Effortless. Like I knew what I was doing. I watched him a little, and I was about to offer some coaching, some suggestions on technique for using a spinning rod.

Then I realized: I don’t know what I am doing. I just sort of do it. Pick up a fishing pole, point, aim, click. Or just throw. I tend to use whatever kind of reel is mounted on the pole, and I can’t say I have a favorite. I like whatever works. So when it came to me giving a "hands on" instructions, all I could do was talk a little bit around the issue.

Finally, my Aries friend "got it." "Oh man, this is like golf, they can coach you but you just have to do it." Right. Exactly.

bcl Taurus: There’s a sense that payback time is here. Last week, week before, I was scanning the newspaper and I found that a certain chain of sporting goods stores had a certain brand of plastic bait steeply discounted, "while supplies last." That’s a retail signal that the chain is moving old product off the shelves and its time to make way for new baits. The spring colors have arrived! A girlfriend remarked about my apparent excitement then made some comment about me mocking her about her spring fashion excitement.

Clothing styles is one thing, but new colors, new scents, new styles of bait? That’s important! Shouldn’t mock me for that. (Insert tired roll of the eyes.) As a Taurus, you can be in either position, excited about the new kinds of wiggly plastic bits that are now available as the bass are breeding in Texas, or exasperated that an apparently grown man can get all excited about colored plastic wiggly bits. Or, what’s worse, are you going to mock me for mocking you for getting all excited about the spring fashions? There are good times to point out inconsistencies in a person’s judgment, like mine in this example. Maybe, I’m not saying for sure, but maybe, as a Taurus, you should not mock us just yet. Although, getting excited about new bait is really sort of stupid to some people.

bcl Gemini: I know that music might not be your "thing," but I had a question. How many great harmonica solos can you think of? I happen to know of two, but I know of them only because they are both loaded on my iPod. To be brutally honest, they are both rather dated, too. I mean really old. Older than some of my clients.

I’m sure that the current versions of these two harmonica songs have been digitally remastered, and are available as downloads. As a Gemini, you should appreciate the harmonica. Small enough to slip into a pocket, I mean, some phones are larger than the typical B-flat mouth organ, the most common of instruments. It’s capable of blues, rock, bluegrass, folk, and probably gave birth to some of the more current derivative forms like hippity-rappity. Or whatever that is, the 6/8 beat that doesn’t add up and that I can’t dance to (I’m wrong ethnicity and gender, two strikes against me).

So it’s really two questions, great harmonica solos, and can you carry a harmonica in your pocket, at least, this week?


bclCancer: I used a special kind of bait when I fish around here. I call it "minnows in a bag," although, to be honest, it’s really just a standardized bag of "sort of" preserved minnows and that secret sauce that fish crave. I like it because it’s a durable container, the minnows work almost as well as real, live minnows, and the preserved ones are not "fishy" in appearance or aroma. Means they generally keep pretty well in the enclosed plastic bag with patented "flavor-fresh" technology. Zip-lock. No water, no aerator, no problem.

I’m not sure how much I trust that baggie, though, to really hold freshness, once it’s been opened. I’m not too sure about any of that. I’d prefer to leave the bait, if I’m not using it immediately, on the shelf at the store. So what are the chances that I bought some bait, and now, everything kicking off the way it does? What are the chances that I miss a good chance to fish, just because I bought some fresh bait? For Cancer, this can mean something more than just bait and fishing, but that’s the best example I could come up with. You’re ready to go, only, it seems like that was the wrong preparation.

bcl Leo: Off and on, for many years, I’ve used an antique roll-top desk as my main work surface. Workshop. Space from whence I generate whatever I’m pleased to refer to as work. There’s an even dozen cubbyholes, not quite envelope size, on either side. Those pigeonholes collect bits and pieces of paper. Bills, notes to self, correspondence, stamps, tiny figurines, occasional fishing gear, just all sorts of crap gets collected.

Now, you may not have a similar arrangement, a roll-top desk, but you do have places on your work surface, where crap accumulates. Important material, the remnants of daily life or the artistic expression, one, the other, both. In the coming week, if I were really more regal and Leo? I’d start going through the various miniature piles of "stuff." Some of it is very important. Some needs immediate action. Some needs to be tossed. It all needs to be sorted and reordered. Cataloged and summarily thrown away? Sure, that could happen. Saved for future reference? Sure, that too. Place and point for everything. I’m imagining, though, you’ve got situation, like my desk, and I’m seeing this week, now, while the Moon heads towards Aries, as a time to clean up. Sift through that material, I think there’s some real Leo gold hidden within.

bcl Virgo: "Man, you know, what I should’ve done? I should’ve just popped that guy in the mouth!" Sure. Sounds plausible. Also sounds like, to me, that Mr. Mars is in Pisces, which is opposite your Virgo self. And it also sounds like Mars creates frustration, temptation, and possible physical activity. Not necessarily good, either. I’m not saying that you should restrain yourself and refrain from popping that guy in the mouth, I’m just suggesting that you hold that thought. Maybe hold that punch, too. Wait, I’m suggesting that you refrain from hitting him. It. Her. Whatever.

Mars spurs us to activity. But sometimes, just taking action for the sake of taking some action? That’s not always right. Doing it just because you’re sure that you have to do something? That doesn’t work well. The problem being Mars makes you strike first then think about the action, consequences and possible ramifications. Mars can be harnessed to work for you, but the first point is to keep from making that first, instinctual strike. Or counter-strike. Just because you’re right doesn’t mean you’re right.


bcl Libra: In one of the Henry IV plays, there’s a character called "Hotspur." He’s hot, indignant, rash, brave, foolish. He’s a slave to honor. Misguided and stupid, too, at least in one reading of the play. He runs off to face certain doom, and while he knows it’s a lost cause, he still goes down, fighting.

Hotspur is a good guide for Libra. Look at his mistakes, the rash, brave, foolish, loser that he was? Take heed from Hotspur. There are times when those are admirable qualities, but this isn’t one of them. Seasoned, tamed, rational thought process are what’s required.

Stop. Look. Listen. Think. Consider, too, that your normally good judgment is currently clouded by Venus in her relative position (backwards, Aries) and think about how your judgment isn’t as good as it usually is. I’m not saying that you should — or shouldn’t — but I am saying it’s time to stop and ask for assistance instead of trying to go it alone.

bcl Scorpio: What has your immediate attention? Seriously, right now, what’s predominate? Romance issue? I’ve warned you about that before, especially with this kind of influence, that’s really less of an issue than you’re making it out to be. So what’s the real issue? It’s about work, and it’s about how you organize your work. I got in a frantic way, not unlike your Scorpio self, and I decided it was time to reorganize the fishing gear.

What I did: took everything out of one tackle box. Spread it all around the on the floor. Put all that stuff back in the same tackle box, back in the same place, pretty much. Nothing leftover. Didn’t throw anything away. Didn’t move, clean or modify much. If anything at all. But I felt better. Next time I use that gear, I know where it is, what’s there, and where it’s supposed to be. No problem.

What I accomplished is more like rote busy work, but there’s a method here. I’m suggesting that there’s a task, something as simple as merely ordering and reordering something that you use every day? Might seem like busy work, but getting something prepared for work? You’ll be surprised what joy there is in the simplest of (Scorpio) tasks.

bcl Sagittarius: Stay on topic. Simple, three word command to help our Sagittarius selves stay focused in the next seven days.

There’s a minor disturbance, and like we are? We tend to jump off and follow whatever seems like the most promising line of inquiry at the time. However, the way we get easily distracted?

That’s the problem and staying on topic, keep pushing forward even though there’s a bright and shinning object over here to the right? Even though there’s that? Or even over there, to the left? Maybe back there, or up there, and it’s easy to understand that we’re more susceptible than ever before to being derailed.

That’s also why, just staying on topic? That’s the secret.


bcl Capricorn: Ever read the labels, especially, like, on food? I was wondering about this as I prowled the aisles of the grocery store. There’s a local chain, big chain, and they have a couple of attributes I like. First off, they have a sister-arm that is the same as the fancy places, only not as fancy, and consequently, not as pricey. Fancy without being "whole-paycheck" priced.

That wasn’t where I was shopping, the other characteristic I enjoy is that the local stores tend to reflect the neighborhood. Less "national, standardized" crap, and more local crap that better reflects local populations. Nice, in a way. Almost thoughtful. Maybe it’s a big corporation, but, at least, they seem to act like they care. I picked up a couple of packages of cheese. Cheddar cheese. I wondered. One was labeled "aged" while the other was just regular. Is it chemically aged? Is it older? Or because it’s been on the shelf longer, it costs more? I didn’t understand any of that. I was about to check the ingredients, but something else caught my eye.

I never did get to ask the right questions about the age of the cheddar. Is it old enough to drink? Vote? As long as we have Aries starting out with a whimper? Look at the labels. Ask the questions I’m afraid to ask because, after all, with Mars and so froth? You are new and emboldened. Let me know what you find out.

bcl Aquarius: It’s an interesting look, saw it the other morning: Shorts and a scarf. Long, woolen (looking) scarf. Shorts and sandals. Fetching young lass, I’m sure. Maybe a tourist, maybe a local. Maybe someone who just got a new scarf and was itching to show it off, no matter what the weather.

The March days, around here, they can be like that. Cool to cold in the morning, warm to hot in the afternoon. Or maybe warm in the morning and cool in the afternoon, depends on the patterns at the time. Predicting the weather is hard. Predicting that you can combine very casual summer attire and something like a winter scarf, for that fetching Aquarius "look?" That’s easy to see. Understand that some people might openly mock you for a choice you make. That doesn’t mean that you won’t be comfortable. Or right.

About the author: Born and raised in a small town in East Texas, Kramer Wetzel spent years honing his craft in a trailer park in South Austin. He hates writing about himself in third person. More at KramerWetzel.com.

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© 1993 – 2022 Kramer Wetzel, for astrofish.net &c.

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