Fishing Guide to the Stars
By Kramer Wetzel
(c) 2008-2009 Kramer Wetzel for astrofish.net
For the week starting: 5.28.2009

    "[Your mind] is like a barber’s chair that fits all buttocks: the pin-buttock, the quatch-buttock, the brawn-buttock, and any buttock."
    Shakespeare’s All’s Well That Ends Well (II.ii.16-8)

Mercury (eventually) un-retrogrades itself while Mars enters Taurus after this weekend. In Aquarius, Chiron/Neptune/Jupiter, all line up. This horoscope is best if used by 5/28/2009.


bcl Gemini: I have a theory about ghosts. I was thinking about this concept because I saw show in a refurbished old theater, of which, there are many in my world. Grand old palaces with ornate carvings and moldings, and gilt-gold picture frames, and what should be deep, plush, red carpet. I’m sure many of these old theaters have ghosts. Not that I could sense any, but there are ghosts there. Sometimes, though, I wonder if the feeling of a ghost is nothing more than strong emotional response to something seen, viewed, or heard in the theater.

Like, it was such a sad version of Hamlet, many years ago, that the person in that one seat, felt so tragically sad, the emotional color is left behind. Kind of like the lingering aroma of perfume, even after the person wearing it has left. It’s that lingering, emotional scent, that’s what I was working on for Gemini. Mercury is not so much backwards, and we’re not so much out of the Mercury hole yet. Then, too, there are birthdays. While that should be a good thing, the lingering scent is like that old theater seat, that position, and there’s still a lingering something. Could simply be a ghost. That energy, that wraith-like spook that you think you might see? For real. The ghosts are there. Just because we don’t believe in them doesn’t make them any less real.

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bcl Cancer: I’ve got an image, I took the original picture with a phone’s camera, not really a good source of pictures. Except that it was a good source, as the phones’ cameras have proven to be valuable do to proximity and ubiquitousness. The image is small post-it note, a on yellow sticky note-sheet, you know the kind, right? The note is plain and simple, "Wait here for me."

I was in an office building, meeting a client for some lunch, and I passed one unnamed office with that note on it. I snapped a quick picture. I used the image on the website for a while, then I forgot about it. I was sorting through old images instead of writing a Cancer scope, and I thought about the relative placement of the Sign of Cancer, the Mars and the Sun, and that note.

"Wait here for me." I’d like to suggest that the note makes a good concept to wrap this next couple of days around. It’s about stopping long enough to let everyone else catch up with you. It’s about pause and reflect. It’s about stopping long enough for everyone else to get on the same page what you’re on. Imagine that I’m using a little yellow sticky note. I’m posting it on the front door of the Cancer section of the heavens. "Wait here for me."


Leo: Very simple axiom, part of this week’s message: Less is more.

Three words, a subject, a verb-thing and an object. Apparent contradiction, too. "Less is more." It’s the new Leo mantra.

Between Mercury and the Sun, and the position of Saturn in Virgo? Less is more. Unload and reduce the clutter. Streamline the Leo life. Less is more. Mars moves into a position where it will square the Leo energy. Less is more. Think along those lines.

bclVirgo: As a Virgo, you’re real good about not taking the credit for good deeds. Oh, you do the good deeds, and you’re the responsible party, but you’re also smooth in that way you don’t always get credit for making everything work well. Which is our problem this week. No matter how many good deeds you’ve done, unaccounted for, except, maybe, in a giant ledger in the sky? All those good deeds get passed over, and you make one, tiny, almost infinitesimally small it can’t be detected? One little mistake? And look what happens: all those good deeds are quickly forgotten.

I feel your pain. Been there, done that, which is also why I’m less modest about good deeds these days. "Remember all the times I was early?" Yeah, but, late just once? This is kind of a problem as it hits you as all wrong. In the grand scheme, it’s all according to plan, but individually, and when this happens this week, in Virgo? You’re going to be more than a trifle upset. All the good works? Forgotten. One small, almost unnoticed, miscue? You’d think it was a major felony. A federal case. There are two solutions: one, be extra careful, but as a Virgo, you already are. The second choice? Maybe be a little more quick to point out the good deeds you’ve done. Might ameliorate the effects of the one, single mistake.

bclLibra: I had this Libra girlfriend, and the planets remind me of several pleasant exchanges with her. She used to buy clothing from a catalog, but after a couple of tries, she discovered it wasn’t for her. Clothing in the catalog looked good. The numbers matched what was delivered, but, apparently, the clothes didn’t fit quite right. There’s just no substitute for going into a store and trying stuff on before one buys it.

I mean, the the pictures, the models and so forth? That looked great. And the numbers, the size ordered, the size of stuff she usually wore? All that matched up. I was privy to this information because, on more than one occasion, I was stuck with package delivery pickup service. There are a number of items that can be shopped for online. There are number of items, like, for me, I know what size to buy in shirts and T-shirts, so it’s easy, for me. For her, for Libra, in general? Nothing beats a little hands-on lesson. Which is the sad part of the tale, and how I never had hands on with her, but that’s another story for a different time.

For shopping, or anything, face-to-face, is important, hand-on, try it out before you buy it. What this week is all about.


bcl Scorpio: This horoscope goes live on 5/28/2009 at 1:00 AM, your mileage and time zone might vary. As a Scorpio, you’ve got about two days, from that point, a little less than 48 hours to get it right. I’m not sure what it refers to, but you’ve got a little less than 48 hours to get something cleaned up.

Whatever symbolism that can be pinned on Mercury? All I’m saying, make the call, do the deed, take whatever steps you can to get this done. 48 hours from the moment this scope hits the wires.

Timing is critical on this one, see: Mars moves into Taurus. Opposite you. What was left unattended, what was supposed to be dealt with, but the single item you avoided? That’s going to be thrust in front of you, in a public way, in the near future. As a trigger point, about the time Mars lines up opposite your Scorpio stuff?


Whatever you were avoiding? In your face. So you have a chance, a single window, deal with now, or it will be dealt with, possibly in a publicly humiliating way, in the next 30 days. Two days, on your own, or thirty days, in an embarrassing fashion. Your call.

bcl Sagittarius: As an "artist," I find the Mercury Retrograde periods as particularly fertile territory. Fertile, occasionally febrile, maybe fevered, hot as it’s been lately, but still, it’s rich hunting ground for material. As such, I haven’t wasted the last few weeks. The problem is adding structure and form to the wild imagination and material that’s surfaced from the imagination, especially in the last few weeks.

The next few days are all about adding some kind of form and function to what the last couple of weeks were all about. There is a wealth of material, and quite a few mistakes, and all of that can be combined, the deal is, the point being? Trying to impose form and organization in a place where chaos is rampant? Yeah, that’s a the Sagittarius challenge, and it’s only more and more "interesting" with the advent of the full moon. The lunar phase is just the icing on the cake, but it’s matter of trying to figure out where all this material fits. It does fit, but only a good Sagittarius will be able to figure out what it means. Might take a few days. No hurry.

bcl Capricorn: I set out the other afternoon, I had several rather specific, destinations in my mind. I wanted to stop by the bank, the post office, and a coffee shop. Which coffee shop? Doesn’t matter, any of the good ones I know would work. There are two or three I tend to favor, not because the coffee is remarkable, but more because the help is entertaining and engaging in a fun way. So that was the agenda I had. Easy. Relatively speaking, sort of open-ended. Not unusual, sort of like a normal afternoon.

While it looks like I was just rambling alongside the river, just meandering down mean, city streets, aimlessly wandering the downtown districts, I had, in my mind, specific goals and destinations. It’s how all of that was tied together, that’s the secret. Or not a secret, but that’s where I built in some flex, or some flux, or some pointedly pointless travel time. Extra time to wander. Extra time for the muse to percolate and do what muses do.

Extra time for the odd image caught on the camera phone that might, or might not, be an idea for a horoscope. Perhaps it was something important, or maybe, it was just stray piece of fluff on the sidewalk. Does it matter? Yes and no. As Capricorn, it matters that you see yourself spending time aimlessly wandering around, and you understand how that could be a waste. That — typically Capricorn — voice in your head, remind you that you’re wasting time, and that your valuable time could be better spent elsewhere. However, like me, you can really benefit by having a little extra cushion of time built into the schedule. Follow my lead on this one, accomplish the goal, but leave a little space for wandering around and feeding your muse, in between times.


bcl Aquarius: Movement and action are sometimes the best way to get a fish’s attention. There are various "swim baits" offered, most them have a boot-like structure at the tail end. When this kind of plastic bait is dragged through the water, it looks like a fish’s tail, swimming in a hurry to get away away from a predator. I don’t know who thinks these things up, but it works. Or works pretty well.

It’s an action item, as in it’s a bait that has to be worked. It’s not something that can be just tossed into the lake and hope that a fish finds it attractive, a "swim bait" has be in motion to be effective. The way the planets stack up? This is a week for a "swim bait" in Aquarius. An action item. Something that requires you to work a little? And if you’re wiling to use the swim bait? I’ll suggest you land a big one, whatever it is that you’re fishing for? By the end of the week.

bcl Pisces: I’m very involved with the "artistic process." I’ve written essays, books, and blog articles about it. I can describe the magic. I can work with it. I understand the process, but, like any other kind of muse, I know I can’t contain it. It’s magic, really, and magic that can’t be duplicated as the mechanics of the process vary from person to person.

However, what you can do, as a Pisces? Make room for the magic to occur. Whether you’re trying to get the creative juices flowing or even if you’re just trying to make ends meet a little better. It’s a matter of making space for the magic to happen. In my example, it’s all about the creative process, the magic that artists work. There’s an accidental nature to making the process work. Respect that. Make room for the weird, wacky and wonderful to occur. It’s sometimes, not so a much a matter of looking for it, as letting it find you. That’s what this about, letting it find you.

bcl Aries: I read this, recently, in sensationalist news, "…and their agent declined to comment at this time."

Figure out for yourself which celebrity scandal that fits. This isn’t about the news itself, it’s about their agent’s reaction to the news reaction to whatever was the perception of what happened. That’s convoluted. As an Aries, you like to get straight to the heart of the matter. Mars is graciously leaving your sign, Venus lingers, and Mercury is backwards. How to handle this kind of energy as the moon moves closer and closer to full?

Instead of a terse, "No comment" comment? How about a more loquacious but equally effusive and evasive, "In light of the media’s spin, we must decline to comment on that particular issue at this time." In the press? About the situation? It merely gets reported that you declined to comment, not that you didn’t have an answer, but until this Mercury thing gets sorted out properly? Maybe "Declined to comment," is the best answer for an Aries.


bcl Taurus: There’s a particular song cycle that I get hung up with, a trilogy about life, death, Texas and taxes. Don’t confuse the items. I was thinking about the song’s real meaning, as I was looking at your chart. Sort of bugging me, hearing tiny pieces of the song in my head while examining the Taurus astrology chart. One version of the cycle is frankly elegiac. Then, having seen the original writer perform, out under the stars on an Austin evening in May, I wonder if it was originally ironically elegiac, instead.

Good poetry, good verses to a song, good lyrics, hell even a horoscope done right? It should be available on more than one level. Which was the point of the song, and hearing the original, by the original author, made a big difference. I could see how the lyrics had more hope than the eulogy version, as recorded by others. Which is the problem, see, there is hope here, in the Taurus chart, especially with Mars making haste towards you. How will you package this? Ironic? Irony with a twist at the end? Frankly sad and lamentable? I’d go for the subtle humor, see if that doesn’t serve the dry Taurus best.

About the author: Born and raised in a small town in East Texas, Kramer Wetzel spent years honing his craft in trailer park in South Austin. He hates writing about himself in third person. More at KramerWetzel.com.

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© 1993 – 2022 Kramer Wetzel, for astrofish.net &c.

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