6.11.2009

Fishing Guide to the Stars
by Kramer Wetzel
For the week starting: 6.11.2009

"A merry message. We hope to make the sender blush at it."
Shakespeare’s Henry V [I.ii]

bcl Gemini: Happy birthday to many fine Gemini, and that one who will not be named, but he won’t shut up. So typical of Gemini, huh? Won’t be quiet even though we’d all like to celebrate his birthday, he just won’t let us get a word in sideways. Pretty much a tough call, that one. So that one Gemini is going to have a difficult time since he won’t let the rest of us do anything nice for him, for his birthday.

But other than that? There’s lots of hope in Gemini land. The portents have turned the corner, and really, it’s more like Mercury getting settled up and firmly in your sign that’s so good, but call it what you want, the portents, as of this week, they all point to good portents. Or something

What it is? Mercury, while still lagging behind, it’s catching up. That starts a process that paves a way forward, from this week onward. It’s getting better moment by moment. There’s still a pesky lunar phase, but I’ like to think that the Gemini (Sun is in Gemini) can outweigh the moon phase.

    ASTROFISH.NET: Flat Rate, act now!

bcl Cancer: I had a little upset stomach kind of a problem. Went to the family doctor I use. He wrote out a clear set of instructions, take these pills he prescribed, then drink lots of clear fluids, dry toast, jello, water, and the rest is easy to understand. What amazed me was that the prescribed diet was clearly written. I could read and understand every letter of every word.

I would think the legend holds, that doctors have the worst handwriting. I should’ve been a doctor, by that definition. I use a keyboard, much faster and easier. Clearer, too. But this isn’t about an upset stomach, or my doctor’s handwriting, this about conveying a message in the clearest, most concise format available. Is it going to be a handwritten note? And if it is a handwritten note, will it be a clear note? How are you going to get the point across in the most effective manner available? Me? If I were Cancer? I’d use a computer. Simple, easy, the note doesn’t have to be a more than a few lines. Concentrate on clear, concise communication. With keyboard. Or handwritten. But if it’s hand-lettered?

Make sure it’s legible.

bcl Leo: "Remember when you sold me that unit? Said it was the best available? You lied." Simple, straight up question and answer. Something I’ve heard recently and something I expect to hear from Leo — not about me, mind you — but I’d expect to hear something like this. I’d like to help prevent this from happening. I’d like to make it so you don’t have to parrot that quote. Here’s how: examine the details. Look it up. Run it through a search engine on the inter-web.

Do a little background check. That situation, it was a good unit, for what it was. Unfortunately, that decision was based upon faulty information. I’m not saying that you’re getting faulty information, but a casual, off-hand recommendation? Just check into it a little. Delve a little deeper than just one person’s remarks. Look behind the scenes, dig a little, like I suggested, a quick search with a search engine might save a pile of troubles later.

I’m all about saving you trouble, but as a Leo, you’ve got to work with me, because the situation varies from person to person. Leo to Leo, and even though I’m Leo-centric, not all the world is. I’m not sure what it is that you’re looking at buying. I’m not sure if this is a big ticket item or a little one. But whatever it is? Research. Thank me when I saved you some money.

un

bcl Virgo: "Safety is as simple as ABC (Always Be Careful)." I realize this is a sentiment that usually shouldn’t have to hammered home to the Virgo, but the banner was flying over a local industrial site, and I’m sure none of the workers noticed. It was one of those motivational banners, about three feet wide and a dozen feet long. Huge thing, flapping in the summer breeze. "Simple as ABC," yeah, some copywriter got paid a huge amount of money to come up with that stuff. Then a sign printer got paid a huge amount of money to print up the first banner, and when that first banner was ripped asunder by the local winds, another banner was printed up, with the holes already pre-driller. To let the wind through. The banner I saw.

From a single, simpering banner to three or more people employed in the making of said banner, it’s a long and arduous trip. It’s okay, too, because as a Virgo you are careful, and you always are careful, and that’s not a point that needs to hammered home. Or is it? That banner was up for a reason. Recent accident on the job site? Recent inspection that revealed safety standards were sub-par? Some worker did an amateur surgery with a piece of heavy equipment? Who knows? Maybe the banner was just an idea from upper management. Can’t tell in a big industrial complex. But the point is clear, even though is seems like I’m a simpering fool, especially to a Virgo: Always Be Careful.

Simple as ABC. It’s a Saturn thing.

bcl Libra: One of my fishing buddies, he didn’t get it, not at first. I always checked with his wife before heading out to fish. Asked her if he could join me; made a big deal out of the asking. See, his wife would fix sandwiches for us, for our "play date." "It’s so cute, you boys going out to play together." And she’d pack a lunch, Not just any lunch, either, she’s a world-class cook. Thick-sliced roast beef sandwiches with just enough hot mustard or horseradish, or both, and home-made styled bread.

Just good stuff. A couple of packages of gourmet-styled potato chips, maybe some designer coke to go with it all. Cookies, probably homemade, for dessert. All packaged up, tucked into a cooler, ready to roll. And he wonders why I usually "check with the wife" before asking him if he wants to fish? Kind of a no-brainer on my part. You’ve got something that you’ve gotten used to doing, a way you approach a certain situation. Go with what works. Like me, asking his wife if he’s free to fish.

Sort of a no-brainer, when you think about it.

bcl Scorpio: Did you know that the new "Goji" berries are really alternatively known as Wolf Berries? So much for new age hype about anti-oxidants. And what we call "Kiwi Fruit?" That’s really a Chinese Goose Berry. So names and naming conventions vary. It’s about thinking, and in this case, it’s about Scorpio thinking.

"No, those are Goji Berries, very good for you." Same thing as Wolf Berries, so my sources explained to me. Check it out yourself, ask a grocer, or look on the inter-web thing. This about getting to the bottom, and this also about a naming conventions.

I rarely, if ever, take aspirin. I tend to ask for Tylenol, although, I prefer the Bayer "aspirin" compound for minor pain relief. Naming conventions. If something is called something else, does that change what it is? My favorite coke is Diet Dr. Pepper; although, the fake sugar stuff gives me a headache and I tend to shy away from it except for a special occasion. But I call it coke, even though it is a competing brand. Names. What are the names you use, and what do the names really refer to? Important questions for a Scorpio.

un

bcl Sagittarius: I saw a T-shirt the other day. "If you want to speak, please raise your hand." I smiled at the shirt, then I thought of something witty to say to the woman wearing the shirt. Then I thought, "Why not follow my own advice?"

If you would like to speak then please raise your hand. Otherwise, and until acknowledged? Shut up.

That simple. If only I could always follow my own advice. But silence is about two bucks a minute these days, and I suggest we invest in a little Sagittarius Silence. I know you’ve got something to say, and I sure as can be have something to say and yet, like the shirt suggested? Let’s just raise our hand and wait to be told that it’s okay to talk.

Or better, it’s okay to ask questions.

bcl Capricorn: A buddy of mine sent me an e-mail with possibly damning news in it. I fired off a quick response, then I deleted the message. Then I undeleted it, and I filed the e-mail in the "take some action" folder. Then I let it sit. This wasn’t anything that implicated me directly. Really, not even indirectly. In fact, I didn’t have a horse in that race. To take that analogy one step further? I didn’t have a horse. At all. No dog in that fight. No dog. Not even a cat.

It’s a matter of I wasn’t part of any of this, other than being made aware of information. And sometimes, that’s all we get, information.

As a Capricorn, you’re going to have material cross your path, a web page, a website, an e-mail, a text message, maybe just a plain postcard. Data in, data out. That simple. I did store the message because it wouldn’t take up much room in a digitial sense. But I stopped at that. No action was required. I’d lke to suggest, before you get all fired up and start writing letters to editors, and setting up a way to answer a question, I’d suggest you stop.

Do you have a horse in this race?

bcl Aquarius: I joined a buddy on a boat; we were bass fishing. I had maybe, four or five poles with me, a couple of them were "bait cast" types, and the first cast with one of them resulted in a big snarl of fishing line. I just set that pole aside and didn’t use it the rest of the day. I had used that very pole not two days before, and I’d used it for a while, so I was familiar with its intricate eccentricities. Kind of like me, huh.

When it wound all snarled up at the first of the day? Instead of struggling with the fishing line, instead of creating an issue? I just set it aside. I could deal with it when I got home, when I got on shore, when I got someplace besides the boat. I was in the boat to fish. I had a, maybe, half-dozen choices in fishing poles. There’s no need to get worked up about the first choice.

Just because — I did it — let’s admit that — just because the first choice in hardware was, ahem, "tied up?" Doesn’t mean that I couldn’t enjoy the day. Once or twice, that morning, I had situations where the pole that was knotted with snarled fishing line would’ve been my first choice. However, the time — and frustration level — didn’t warrant me sitting in the boat, wasting time sorting out my first mistake of the day. Time — and place — to deal with problems. Do what’s in front of you, like me, you don’t have to fix that problem right now. As an addendum? When I got home? I put new fishing line on the pole and reel, better, stronger, and less likely to snarl again. All for the best.

bcl Pisces: Sometimes the cheapest arrangements make for the most fun. I have a fishing pole, it’s marked, its sale price? $2.95. What kind of pole? Cheap. Cheap, mostly lightweight fiberglass, probably assembled in a third world country by child labor. Originally, it was a $15.95 pole. Marked down to $5.95, then further discounted to a mere $2.95. A girlfriend, at the time, bought the pole for me.

She dug out the the three singles and pulled the 13 cents out of her purse, "Here, let me get that one for you." Can’t say she never did anything nice around fishing equipment. I tend to use the pole at the coast, as it’s really a disposable pole, and it still has that price wrapper on it. I added a very cheap, matching, spinning reel, bringing to the total coast to almost 12 or 13 dollars. I used that pole, almost exclusively, the other day, fishing. Must say that I certainly got my money’s worth from it.

The odd part? The fishing line, a special, extra-limp, super-strong brand of braided miracle fishing line? The line cost more more than the pole and reel, together. Not that it matters to me. Not that it’s problematic, just the way it is. I was thinking about that pole, and the whole day, fishing, basically with just that pole? How much fun it was? That’s part of what this is all about. Fun and games. Cheap. Or true happiness?

Does it really have a price tag?

bcl Aries: I’ve encountered these bosses before. It’s the kind of boss that’s out of town, on business, or pleasure, but has to call in and check a few minutes before five. You’re at the office, doing nothing, and you have to wait until that call because he will call, that boss, and check, and it will be three minutes, five minutes before quitting time.

I found a way to work around this sort of benign micro-management: long lunches. Show up late, take a two-hour lunch and that leaves the late afternoon slot wide-open. Besides, the boss, when he’s away (assuming it’s a ‘he," adjust as needed to fit your scenario), there’s always plenty of time to get stuff done. And there’s a project you were left with, and now is a good time look after that. Then too, there’s the relaxed pace you can work at. It’s just the timing of that phone call, usually comes right at five minutes before quitting time. There’s no way around that. Plan accordingly. Long lunch?

un

bcl Taurus: Aesthetics are important, and particularly to a Taurus. And especially now. Pay attention to the details of the arrangements. Sometimes, it’s not the big things but the little things. Tiny, almost miniscule details, matters that might make a person think that you’re a Virgo? That’s the sort of stuff that matters. "God is in the details," who first observed that? Doesn’t matter. It’s the point I’d like to get across.

Mars/Venus are frying/floating through your sign. Means the best of both worlds, but it’s matters of putting that planetary influence to best use. Details matter. Punctuation is important. Grammar, too. And color selection. I’ve even got some questions — I’ll save for a Taurus — about fabric selections for this week’s horoscope upholstery.

As a Sagittarius, I’d just throw an old blanket down. But that won’t do, not here in Taurus. Like I said, it’s all important, and there is no better time to manage all of this than now. Right now. Be benevolent with your Taurus management style.

Style of management, too.

About the author: Born and raised in a small town in East Texas, Kramer Wetzel spent years honing his craft in trailer park in South Austin. He hates writing about himself in third person. More at KramerWetzel.com.

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